Child Dependency 101 An informative class for parents involved in a child dependency
Presented by the
Spokane Parent Advocacy Network Helping families bridge the gap between child welfare and community
Child Dependency 101 Table of Contents
Introduction................................................................................................. 3 Role of Professionals.................................................................................... 4 Puzzling Out the Process............................................................................. 5
FTDM Roles and Goals........................................................................... 6-7 Finding Resources and Services................................................................ 8 The Path to Success.................................................................................... 9 Great Visitations....................................................................................... 10 A Parent’s Rights & Responsibilities........................................................ 11 Attitude..................................................................................................... 12 Anger and Denial.................................................................................... 13 Veteran Parent Journeys......................................................................... 14 Important Contacts for Your Case......................................................... 15
Notes................................................................................................. 16-17
DISCLAIMER:
This class is sponsored by the Spokane Parent Advocacy Network. SPAN was organized by birth parents who are “veterans” of the child welfare system and with the assistance of social service professionals. The views expressed in this educational presentation may be the opinions of that individual and/or the group that they represent, but not necessarily those of SPAN or its allies. Any written or verbal information that is presented is for educational purposes only. Although we listen to your concerns and give emotional support, we cannot intervene on your behalf or give legal counsel. By participating in this class you agree to hold the SPAN’s representatives harmless; and that you are responsible for the choices you make, or any consequences as a result thereof. It is our hope that you will learn how to identify and advocate for your child’s and your personal needs. If you are having trouble connecting with services we will do our best guide you to the appropriate resource to contact.
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May 2012 © Spokane Parent Advocacy Network S-P-A-N@live.com • 509.228.3242
Introduction Welcome to Child Dependency 101. This class is designed to educate and empower individuals to better understand the child dependency system. It is a parent guide to organizing information and developing tools to work with the system.
Rights, Responsibility, and Respect
You have the right to be heard. However, you have a responsibility to liste n and learn. You have value, but you need to earn respect by honoring other people’s thoughts and feeling s.
Individual cases. We appreciate you have concerns about your case, but we are not legal advisors or court advocates. We are mentors. If you need help, we will do our best to guide you to the right resource. You need to find the right resources that best fit your and your child’s needs, and ask providers, your attorney, and/or case work about services. If possible at the end of this class an information table or resource guide will be made available to you. This is an opportunity for you to hear from parents who have successfully navigated the child welfare system and perhaps some professionals too. Through this class you may also gain a better understanding about your rights as caretakers and responsibilities towards children. Do not make things personal. We understand you are going through a difficult time, but we are not here to judge you. In fact, you are encouraged to express your feelings. However, we ask that you please respect others’ feelings and private information. Keep in mind that some individuals attending this class, may be mandatory reporters, so please refrain from threats of harm or imminent danger to any individual, especially a child. Still yours and our information should be kept confidential to the extent that it is possible; any information shared in class should stay within this group.
Please briefly complete the “Before Survey” and then we will start the presentation Page 3
Role of the the Professionals Use the contact list on page 15!
Judge or Commissioner: The Judge presides over all court hearings. Ultimately, the Judge has the final say in all the decisions made about your case. When there is a disagreement between the parties in the case (you and your attorney, the CPS/CWS social worker, and/or the GAL/CASA), the parties come to court and ask the Judge to make a decision. Public Defender/Parents Representation Program (PRP) Attorney: The Public Defender or the Parents Representation Program Attorney is your lawyer. Your lawyer represents you and nobody else. Besides appearing with you in court, your lawyer will help you understand your legal rights, and assist you in working with your social worker. If there are problems, your lawyer can negotiate a solution with the state or bring it to the attention of the Judge or Commissioner. Assistant Attorney General (AAG): This attorney represents CPS and CWS social workers in your case. The AAG/Prosecutor cannot talk to you directly without permission from your attorney. This attorney appears in all court hearings and gives legal advice to the CPS and CWS social workers. Parents Representation Program (PRP) Social Worker: Your lawyer may assign a PRP Social Worker to help out if your lawyer feels that it can help with your case. This social worker does not work for CPS or CWS. This social worker can help you access services, advocate for you, advise your lawyer on whether the CPS/CWS social worker is following policy or procedure, and give a second social work opinion on your case. Child Protective Services (CPS) and Child Welfare Services (CWS): These are two programs in the Division of Children and Family Services most involved in your dependency case. Both have social workers responsible for working on your case. l Child Protective Services (CPS) Social Worker: The Parents Representation Program Attorney is The CPS social worker is responsible for providing services to parents prior to court involvement and investigating allegations of child abuse and/or neglect that meet statutory (state law) definitions. Generally, the definitions cover physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, or maltreatment under circumstances which indicate that the child’s health, welfare, or safety are harmed. CPS is part of the Division of Children and Family Services (DCFS). DCFS is a division of the Department of Social and Health Services (DSHS). l Child Welfare Services (CWS) Social Worker: The Parents Representation Program Attorney is When the court becomes involved the case transfers to a CWS social worker. This social worker works with the family and others to identify barriers to healthy parenting and offers for services to correct the parental deficiencies. The CWS Social Worker reports to the court on the compliance and progress of the parent with their court ordered services. CWS is part of the Division of Children and Family Services (DCFS). DCFS is a division of the Department of Social and Health Services (DSHS). Guardian Ad Litem / Court Appointed Special Advocate (GAL/CASA): The A Guardian ad Litem (GAL) is appointed by the court to represent your child during the dependency proceedings. GAL investigates and evaluates the situation based on your child’s needs and makes recommendations to the court that are in your child’s best interest. In some courts the GAL may have large caseloads and might instead appoint a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) to fill this function. In some jurisdictions the CASA are called Voluntary Guardian ad Litem (VGAL). Service Providers: You will likely be ordered to attend services which the court determines will help your parental deficiencies. Depending on your case, service providers may include such professionals as chemical dependency counselors, mental health counselors, parenting class teachers, and visitation supervisors. Page 4
Puzzling out the Process CPS and/or Police receive a report about possible abuse or neglect of your child
Every case is different this a general description of the dependency process. For specific about your case contact your social worker or attorney.
Permanency Planning Hearing: The status of your child’s custody is decided. Occurs at the end of your case.
If your case meets criteria for inspection, then...
The Court:
cy nen take a m d • After 9 to 12 months of reviews, the court may er oul in P c ith w ! n decide the final custody of your child. Pla place onths This may include: m 12 - Dismissal. Returning your child home. - Guardianship. A relative or foster parent is appointed to care for your child, but your parental rights are not terminated. - Permanent Custody Order. Your child’s caretaker - relative or foster parent - files a petition to care for your child. - Long Term Foster Care. Your child may be near 18 or have medical needs and placed in care outside your home. - Termination. Your rights are cut off and your child is free to be adopted. Only in cases with serious abuse or neglect. - Independent Living. Your child becomes emancipated and no longer has to live with a parent or guardian.
CPS does a family assessment Police conduct a criminal investigation If it appears your child is in danger of being harmed, or is already seriously abused or neglected, then...
Your child is picked up by CPS or the Police and placed into protective custody By law, a child can be kept in protective custody for no more than 72 hours, excluding weekends and legal holidays. If your child is not returned, then...
Shelter Care Hearings:
Fi Ca She rst re lter wit Hea Bu hin 72 ring Ho siness urs !
Your child’s temporary placement status is decided by Juvenile Court at a 72-Hour and a 30-Day Hearing
The Court:
Review Hearings:
Your case progress is evaluated. Occurs every 3-6 months until your case is closed.
• Decides if there is danger to your child - only needs probable cause - then issues a removal order for your child from your care. • Determines if visitations are appropriate. • Reviews any changes in the situation after 30 days. If needed, places your child in a safe, temporary home for 75 days. • Placement options: at home with you, with one of your family relatives, or in a foster care home.
The Court:
Professionals:
• Evaluates case in the following areas: - Your progress in services - Ways to transition your child home, including in-home visits - Reasons to dismiss your case - Continuing safety/health concerns - Need for Permanency Planning Hearing
Parents:
• Reports on your progress are submitted by service provider(s), attorney, and CPS.
• Offer services to your family to prevent the need for removal of your child - except for emergency situations.
Professionals: Parents:
• Contact the Office of Public Defense, apply for a public defender, or hire an attorney. • Attend all scheduled CPS visitations. • Enroll in any ordered or requested services.
• At review hearings you must show you are complying with court ordered/requested services and attending visits with your child. • Within 9 to 12 months, you need to show progress in correcting problems presented by CPS, i.e. safety and health concerns.
Fact Finding Hearing:
The facts about your case are decided. Often coincides with Disposition Hearing.
The Court:
Disposition Hearing:
• Decides what facts and truths presented will be entered into the court record. • Decides your case is either an: 1) In-Home Dependency or 2) Out-of-Home Dependency
Transfers your child to caretaker while case is open. Often coincides with Fact Finding Hearing.
The Court:
May...
Disposition Hearing ...coincide.
1st Review Hearing
3-6 months
Fact Finding
90 days
Shelter Care Review
Judge may continue protective custody
14 days
75 days
1st Shelter Care Hearing
30 days
Your child placed in protective custody!
72 hours
START
• Agree with facts and cooperate with the ISSP plan. • Comprise with court and CPS on facts and plan • Disagree with facts and ISSP plan, and go to trial. • Comply with court ordered and requested services.
Parents:
• Agree and cooperate with the placement plan • Comprise with court and CPS on placement plan. • Disagree with the placement plan and go to trial. • Comply with court ordered evaluations and requested services as soon as possible.
Review Hearings
These are ongoing while you are showing progress in your services and family plan.
Permanency Planning Hearing You can lose your parental rights, if you haven’t complied with court orders!
END
Parents:
Professionals:
• Your attorney argues to ensure sure you are able to comply and succeed with the presented plan. • CPS’s attorney argues to ensure the placement and ISSP plans are accepted.
9-12 months
Professionals:
• Your attorney argues for your facts and statement of truth to ing ind ithin be entered into the court record. F t w c Fa aring siness • CPS’s attorney (Assistant Attorney General) argues for facts u e reported/discovered by CPS or Police during the investigation H 75 B ays! D to go on record. • A Social Worker puts together and presents an Individual Service and Safety Plan (ISSP) to the court. This is the plan designed to get your child back home with you!
• Reviews placement options, see Shelter Care Hearing. • Primary and alternate plans must be identified. • Creates a visitation schedule for you and child.
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FTDM Roles
and Goals
Purpose of a Family Team Decision Meeting (FTDM) l A FTDM including birth parents and youth, is held for ALL decisions involving child removal, change of placement, and reunification/other permanency plan. l The FTDM is held BEFORE the child’s move occurs, or in cases of imminent risk, within 24-72 hours of placement, and always before the initial court hearing in cases of removal. l Neighborhood-based community representatives are invited by Children’s Administration to participate in all FTDMs, especially those regarding possible child removal. l The FTDM is led by a facilitator (FTDM Manager).
Goal: To involve birth families and community-members, along with resource families, service providers, and agency staff, in all placement decisions, to ensure a network of support for the child and the adults who care for them. What Initiates a Meeting (Why and When Each Meeting is Requested/Held) l Emergency or Considered Removal: Scheduled when SW assesses child at high risk for abuse/neglect or within 24-72 hours after emergency removal/placement of child. FTDM team determines whether agency should file for custody and facilitate placement; or child can return safely home with services; or voluntary placement by parents with provision of services and safety plan, etc. l Placement Preservation/Change of Placement: Requested before a child is moved from one placement to another. Meeting scheduled when potential disruption of placement is recognized, safety issues exist or move from current placement is believed necessary to benefit child. l Permanency Planning ¡ Reunification - scheduled when risk level reduced and parental progress in ability to protect and provide safety for child is recognized. Team determines if a child can safely return to own family, and is held before overnight visits begin. ¡ Other Permanent Plan (permanent custody/adoption/guardianship) meeting scheduled when lack of progress by parents in reducing risk suggests need for permanent placement plan/legal filing. Who Participates and Roles Each participant is present either because they were invited or their participation was agreed to by the birth parent(s), or because they are involved with the agency team serving the family.
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l Birth Parents: Recognized as the expert on their family’s needs and strengths. Presence and involvement integral to meeting, however with exception of FTDM for reunification, absence or non-participation would not preclude or postpone scheduled FTDM.
l Child: Children 12 and older should be provided the opportunity to participate in the FTDMs whether in its entirety or in part. Decisions on their level of participation should be made on a case by case basis and in conjunction with the parents. l Extended Family and Non-Relative Supports: Invited by parents as support / to assist / be resource l Current Caregivers - Kin/Foster: Key team member; assists in providing information regarding a child’s adjustment, progress, needs; and in developing ideas and reaching decision. l Caseworker/Supervisor: Convener of meeting; content expert; with facilitator, leads discussion. Responsible for making decision if absence of consensus. l Service Providers: Currently or previously involved with family. l Other Public Agency Staff: May include family preservation staff, or others able to provide expertise/information. As agency personnel, they share responsibility for high quality decisions; and may seek review of caseworker’s decision in situations where consensus not reached, if unable to support the decision due to the belief that it puts child at risk of serious harm or violates law or policy. l Facilitator: Trained Facilitator (FTDM Manager) works with caseworker to lead group through solution-focused process. A full team member, who like other agency personnel, is responsible for high quality decisions, and expected to seek review of caseworker’s decision in situations where consensus not reached, if unable to support the decision due to belief that it puts child at risk of serious harm or violates law or policy. Provides summary report to participants outlining decision and action steps. Consensus The goal is a consensus decision by team regarding placement, that protects a child and preserves or reunifies family; however, Children’s Administration maintains legal responsibility to make decision if agreement by full team cannot be achieved. Confidentiality The strict confidentiality of information shared at the FTDM is not guaranteed. Privacy and respect are emphasized, but parents are informed that information from the meeting may be used by agency personnel for case planning, in subsequent court proceedings if necessary, and in the investigation of a new allegation of abuse or neglect should such information arise. Some Benefits of FTDM l Improves quality of decisions - more information, more ideas. l Increases consistency and accountable practices when placement is being considered, helping to assure that only children who must be placed are placed and reasonable efforts to prevent placement are made in every case. l Shares responsibility and supports caseworker for critical placement decisions. l Involves and gives a voice to families, caregivers, providers and the community in our work. l Develops understanding, improves engagement, builds relationships, and provides opportunity for empowerment. l Provides development of a specific, individualized intervention plan that has increased ownership, commitment and support. l Assists in efficient service delivery. l Improves cooperation, communication and teamwork. l Demonstrates agency’s values of protecting child and partnering to support family. l Encourages creativity and energizes. l Permits data collection to track outcomes related to child safety, child placement, and kin involvement. Page 7
Finding Resources and Services
There are a number of child welfare service providers in the Spokane area that can assist you with your case. Some of these providers may have given information on their programs to the SPAN and these are available at the information table after class. If you are asked by your social worker or ordered by the court to participate in an evaluation or service, you need to look and sign up for an appropriate program as soon as possible. Ask your social worker or attorney for a list of providers. If they cannot help you, then ask others for help, and do some research, until you find what you need. You may be asked to do many different services; the sooner you start engaging in services the better. Communicate! If you have any problems with your services talk to your attorney and social worker immediately. In Spokane, the most current and best source of information on programs is the Directory of Congregations and Community Resources, published by the The Fig Tree This directory is available at a number of public assistance offices. If you cannot find a directory, go to a local library and look up: www.thefigtree.org/connections-resources.html. Also, the following offices may have information on programs you need: Division of Children & Family Services 1313 N Atlantic St - Spokane, WA 99201 P 509.363.3500 Office of Public Defense Parent Representation Program Brett Ballew - Brett.Ballew@opd.wa.gov P 360.586.3164 x125 - opd.wa.gov/PRP-home.htm Spokane County Public Defender 1033 W Gardner Ave - Spokane, WA 99260 P 509.477.4246 - spokanecounty.org/ pubdefender Spokane County Bar Association 1116 W Broadway Ave - Spokane, WA 99260 4th Floor Annex, County Courthouse P 509.477.6032 - spokanebar.org DSHS Community Services Offices (CSO) Spokane 1313 N Maple St Spokane, WA 99201 Spokane Valley 8517 E Trent Ave Spokane Valley, WA 99212 Customer Service Center 877.501.2233 Spokane Regional Health District 1101 W College Ave - Spokane, WA 99201 P 509.324.1500 - srhd.org Page 8
American Indian Community Center 801 E 2nd Ave - Spokane, WA 99202 P 509.535.0886 - aiccinc.org Arc of Spokane Community Center 320 E 2nd Ave - Spokane, WA 99202 P 509.328.6326 - arc-spokane.org East Central Community Center 605 S Lee St - Spokane, WA 99202 P 509.279.6316 - ecccspokane.org Northeast Central Community Center 4001 N Cook St - Spokane, WA 99207 P 509.487.1603 - necca.myspokane.net Salvation Army Community Center 222 E Indiana Ave - Spokane WA 99207 P 509.325.6810 - salvationarmyspokane.org West Central Community Center 1603 N Belt St - Spokane WA 99205 P 509.326.9540 - wccc.myspokane.net Spokane Neighborhood Action Programs SNAP Downtown Office 12 S Wall St - Spokane, WA 99201 P 509.456.7174 - snapwa.org Spokane Valley Partners 10814 E Broadway Ave - Spokane, WA 99206 P 509.927.1153 - svpart.org
The Path to Success Know your schedule. You need to keep track of information. Put all documents concerning your case in a secure place like a file folder or briefcase. It helps to keep a schedule of events as they happen. Use a calendar to keep track of your court dates, visitations or appointments. Take a few minutes everyday to record down your thoughts and concerns in a private journal, it may help you remember things. Attend appointments. You need to go to all of your meetings, hearings, court ordered services, and visits with your child. If you cannot be there, call your attorney, social worker, or service provider immediately and let them know. Stay connected. If you have problems or concerns, talk to your social worker, attorney, or service provider. Ask your social worker or children’s caregivers if there are ways you can be more involved with your children’s life. Build relationships. Whether you are having difficulties with a partner or connecting with your children’s other caregivers, stay positive and ask for help when you need it. Try to work together to find agreeable solutions. Focus on your needs. Don’t worry about stuff you cannot control, especially what people say about you. Pay attention to your issues or problems. Get to know your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t be afraid to be open about your feelings. Learn to nurture. Try to see the situation from your child’s viewpoint and keep their well-being in mind. Show others that you care for your children, by asking questions and talking about your struggles as a parent. You are still a parent. It can be very hard when someone else is caring for your child, especially if your child calls them mommy or daddy. Whether it is your child’s other parent, relative, or foster parent; this person is responsible for caring for your child while you are getting the help you need. If you cannot have regular, meaningful contact with your child, then set aside some things for your child; write letters, save family pictures, and save some keepsakes for your child.
Communication, communication, COMMUNICATION!
You are not in this alone. Keeping in contact with people involved in your child dependency and talking about your concerns is vital. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help when you need it. Find a mentor or service provider that you trust and can discuss your feelings with.
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Great Visitations
Visitations are a parental right...not a privilege. l Attend all visits with your child. As simple as this may sound, this is very important. l If you are unable to attend a visit due to an appointment, let the providing agency know as soon as possible. Also, let your Social Worker know as well. Sometimes a makeup visit can be scheduled. l Most agencies will allow you to bring your child’s favorite toys, books, etc., for the visits. Agencies may not allow you to keep your belongings on site. Bring fun things that your child may like to play with. However, they should allow you to bring them in. A familiar toy from home might be very comforting. l Help your child with their homework or pre-school activities. This shows to them the importance and fun of education and that they are supported by you. l Communicate with your child’s foster parent. Communication about your child’s care includes: nap times, meal/feeding times, favorite activities, behavior, etc. A notebook is a good way to do this. l Ask the providing agency what activities, toys, resources, etc., they have available for visits and plan ahead accordingly. l Visits are a time to enjoy quality and bonding time with your child. Do not vent your frustrations about the case, Social Worker or providers, just enjoy your parenting time with your child. l If you do have questions or concerns, please ask visitation staff before, after or at a different time other than your visit. l Remember, visitations are a right, not a privilege, but rules still need to be followed. This is your time to shine with your child, so make the best of it and do ask questions when setting up your visitations. l Be in the moment with your child; follow your child’s need. If you child wants to play, take this time enjoy a game or two with them. If you child wants to be close to you, read them a book or do another quiet activity of his or her choosing. If Children often feel responsible for what happens. your child is angry, crying or upset, sit down with Let them know they are not blame for your mistakes. them and talk about his or her feelings. Page 10
, A Parent s Rights and Responsibilities As a parent affected by the child welfare system.
I have the right to not lose my child because I’m poor.
I have a responsibility to provide my child with the best opportunities I can find.
I have the right to services that will support me in raising my child at home. I have a responsibility to engage with these services to the best of my ability.
I have the right to not lose my child to foster care because my child has a disability or mental health need.
I have a responsibility to care for my child’s special needs and seek help when needed.
I have the right to speak for myself and be respectfully heard at every step of the child protective service process. I have a responsibility to listen, learn, and honor other people’s thoughts and feelings.
I have the right to be informed of my rights.
I have a responsibility to understand my rights and my child’s rights.
I have the right to a meaningful and fair hearing before my parental rights are limited.
I have a responsibility to show the system that I am concerned about my child’s safety and well-being.
I have the right to competent legal representation.
I have a responsibility to communicate with my attorney and social worker if there is a problem.
I have the right to support from someone who has been in my shoes. I have a responsibility to learn how to advocate for my own needs.
I have the right to have my child expeditiously placed with a family member or family friend. I have a responsibility to ensure my family and friends understand my needs and my child’s needs.
I have the right to frequent, meaningful contact with my child.
I have a responsibility to be emotionally and mentally present during visits with my child.
I have the right to privacy.
I have a responsibility to seek help when I needed it.
I have the right to have my culture, language and religion respected.
I have a responsibility to respect others and be open to a diversity of people, ideas, and things.
I have the right to services that will support me in reunifying with my child. I have a responsibility to ensure my child’s safety and well-being comes first.
I have the right to offer my child a lifelong relationship.
I have a responsibility to be there whenever my child needs me.
I have the right to meaningful participation in developing the child welfare policies and practices that affect my family and community. I have a responsibility to give back to the system and community that supported my family.
The Bill of Rights for Parents Affected by the Child Welfare System was developed by Rise Magazine www.risemagazine.org and by the National Coalition for Parent Advocacy in Child Protective Services. Its purpose is to unite parents and parent advocacy around a common set of goals. Most parents do not yet have these rights in child welfare proceedings. This bill of rights represents a commitment to working in our communities and nationwide to make these rights a reality. SPAN added responsibilities to this list of rights to underscore the devotion it takes to be a parent. In order to find a safe, permanent home for your child - reunited with you, in a guardianship or through adoption - you need to understand how to be a dependable and nurturing parent. When your family entered into the child welfare process, you started on a challenging road to earn the right to stay connected with your child and reunite as a family. Some of the keys to success are change, communication and commitment.
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By Charles Swindoll The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our “Attitudes” is excerpted from Strengthening Your Grip on Attitudes (SYG7A) by Chuck Swindoll. Copyright © 1981 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. The complete audio can be heard on-line at www.insight.org.
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Anger and Denial: After your child is taken.
You are at a crossroads; this is when you need make a choice whether your focus is to get your child home, and take the steps to change; or you’re going to fight the system and waste time and energy doing so. This process is all about choices. Working to get your child home or your case resolved is in everyone’s best interest, including your child. Please take a few breaths and decide what your goal is? And what you are going to do to get it? After your child is removed there are cycles of loss you will go through. This is normal. You may experience all the stages of grief and loss or only some of them. You may be angry or sad. It could feel crazy because you can bounce around through the stages and even go back to one you have already gone through. The goal is to get a level of acceptance and work through the anger and denial. The process can look like this:
Denial: This can be either denial that there was a reason to remove the child, or denial that you need any help. This can be a time many people choose to isolate themselves and the consequences of being alone, or feeling alone, are damaging. It is ok to ask for help, and be in need of it. Begin finding a support system that works for you. It could be Alcoholics Anonymous, NA, a church or a group that applies to your needs.
Anger: This too is a natural process of grieving. Anger can be good when handled appropriately. Ways to handle it well are to talk about it, processing it with a sponsor, or other person you have in your support network. Anger can have consequences when you stay in it too long, or you deny it and let fester inside of you.
Bargaining: This is a stage when you may think that there is some way to take the pain away, if only you could have done something else instead. That’s living in a world of “woulda, shoulda, coulda,” and the fact is we are where we are and now it’s about going forward, because we cannot go back and change anything. Or, if only they gave your child back, everything would be fine. It takes a lot of work to get them home, and work through all the emotions, for both you and your child. It is worth it though.
Depression: This stage can make you feel numb, alone and really sad. This is when it is good to find things to be involved in and have a support network to turn to. It’s ok to be sad and hurt. Sometimes if this lasts too long you may want seek help and talk to a professional.
Acceptance: This is where you get to a place of accepting that your child was removed, and now it is time to work on yourself, and work on having your child returned or decide on other options that may fit for you. Page 13
Veteran Parent Journeys
We felt...confused, sad, scared, and angry after our child was taken too! If you are a birth parent, you were invited to this class because it is you likely had a child removed from your care. You are not alone. This class was organized by birth parents who are “veterans” of the child dependency system. We have been in your shoes. We know what it’s like to ask ourselves, “why me?” When our cases were opened we wondered what would happen next. At times, we thought we didn’t belong involved with CPS and the system was wrong. We felt isolated and uncertain. We were told our children were in danger or were harmed. We were charged with abuse and/or neglect; and the things we were accused of were horrible and devastating. We stood in front of the court and were told our children were not going home; so we know firsthand the We were hurt & angry! heartache of having a child taken away. So how did we endure? What did we do to get to a safe place for ourselves, our children, and our families? Why would we want to help you? Like an AA or NA sponsors; we are parent advocates who lead by example; by taking responsibility for our actions and sharing our personal experiences and stories, our goal is to give others hope. Our guidance may help you choose on what path to take. However, it is up to you to stand up, and decide what direction, your journey through the child welfare system, will take you and your children. The earlier you start on your path the better; your children cannot wait. You must connect with the court, your social workers, and your attorney to find out what services you need most, and starting doing them as soon as possible. We felt sad & lost! Our wisdom may provide you with an understanding of how to cope with the challenges you now face. Being involved with child welfare can be nightmare, but we took it one day at a time, and we learned what it takes to make it through. We found people who helped us and provided the services we needed. However, simply being in services going to a provider just because you have to; won’t cut it. You must want to do it. You must make the commitment to change for yourself and learn to nurture your children. We did it and you can too!
People Change ~ Families Reunite
Regardless of how you feel or what brought you here; you are likely in this class because something went wrong. This a chance for you to start on the right path to change your life, to ensure the safety and well-being of your child and possibly reunite with your family. Page 14
Important Contacts for Your Case See page 4 for Role of Professionals
TITLE
NAME
CONTACT INFORMATION
Judge or Commissioner
Your Attorney
AAG Your PRP Social Worker CPS Worker
CWS Worker
CASA Coordinator Guardian Ad Litem
Service Providers & Others
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NOTES: Page 16
NOTES:
Please remember to complete your “After Survey” Page 17