What is your favorite Pro Sports Team? Cowboys

Dear Dan,

Dear Dan, How did you become a slot machine whisperer? From: I Suck at Gambling LUCK! Dan the Gambling Man

Dear Dan What is the proper handling techniques of snakes in the warehouse? Gently pick-up a shovel and firmly, with conviction, chop its head off! Dan the Snake Handling Man

Dear Dan, When physically impossible, how can DG produce Olympic sprinters such as Tyrone? You use a loud noise, for example, blow-up an electrical transformer next to him.

Dear Dan, How long is a piece of string? As long as you want it to be. How many are a bunch of nickels? Ask Jonathan! How far is it down the road apiece? About 0.621371 miles… If you cross a cow and a buffalo do you get a Cattalo or a Bow? You get a Beefalo!

Dear Dan, How would you cope with your favorite team missing big in the draft? For example, say your favorite team passed over Patrick Mahomes, and took Mitchell Trubisky instead –how would you deal with that? -Guy Who Misses Football The draft is a crap shoot. Chicago got the crap! Mahomes was only better in 42 categories out of 65 over Trubisky from 2017 thru 2019.

Dear Dan, I get really hungry every other Friday…where are those hot dogs at? At Sam’s Club!

Dear Dan, Do you have a mustache because Mike Ditka has a mustache? He has one because I have one. I am the true Ditka!

Dear Dan, While in a book store, does asking where the self-help books are defeat the purpose? Signed, The Wanderer Who still goes to a book store? Help yourself by downloading the book and saving yourself a trip!

Dear Dan, No question for me, just wanted to say, glad you’re back. I knew the cops had the wrong guy! You was with me down at Skinny’s when it happened. Signed, Cellmates for life LOL…thanks, glad to be back!