The Meaning of Non Meaning

When I imagine that life is like that, that tomorrow will be the same as today, that next year will be identical to the last one, and in ten years time everything will be like now, something akin to panic starts to break out. But I can forget myself soon, as it’s already time for bed and tomorrow I have to work.

It’s fantastic. We could even go as far as to say that we have overcome suffering, as it doesn’t give a particular sign; only this boredom for the future—a dangerous word for this state of consciousness.

The world is not at all interesting because nothing is capable of taking me out of this state. I have little energy and I’m sleepy, but sufficiently active for inertia to be maintained.

I once read a book about someone who was living like this and every once in a while he experienced that things external to him had their own existence. They were existing outside of himself and this gave him a sensation of disgust a sort of nausea, as if he wanted to expel something from within.

It is a state that has the particularity that as it has no motivations, therefore there is no motivation to get out of it. Why should one get out of it if everything’s the same? Also where would one go? To what?

I can also have fun; there is always something with which to dull my consciousness to keep it entertained. I can watch television, watch the football, make love or play on the computer. I can work, do things with great concentration but nothing has meaning, is interesting or motivating. Only this little word “future” produces irritation in me and the suspicion that something isn’t going well.

But, how did I get to this point? Life wasn’t always this way!

2.-The Psychological Trap This state is a sort of psychological trap. I tell you that you got here through very profound contradictions that you were unable to resolve. You reached this state as a form of de-tensing, relaxing your tensions that were unbearable for your consciousness in one moment. You only wanted to flee from something, from a problem that was causing you a lot of pain, and you did something with your head, you falsified something in you so that it would stop being a problem. It no longer caused you more pain, but together with this, you started to lose interest and motivation for everything in existence.

No. It didn’t happen to you. You arrived at nonmeaning. You got here when you considered that your contradiction was not as serious as you were experiencing it, that in reality, “nothing mattered.” On deciding that “nothing mattered,” you dulled the pain but you also lost your motivation and interest for everything. It happened bit by bit. First you lost interest in those things, people or situations that had to do with what was causing you problems; then it extended to other contiguous situations until, finally, you became absolutely calm because here nothing mattered.

So, just like in “The Neverending Story” by Michael Ende, the Nothing was advancing,