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Spring is in the air, blooming with the flowers, and if you are a hay fever sufferer probably streaming out of your nose and eyes. Spring is the Emilio Estevez of the seasons. If you can’t quite place that name, Emilio was the jock in The Breakfast Club and popped up in a bunch of other 80’s John Hughes movies. However, even more remarkable than the 80’s teen rom-com career is the fact that he is the lesser-known and slightly more stable brother to Charlie Sheen (formerly Carlos Estevez.) While Charlie is the wild and fun summer; father Martin Sheen is the comfortable winter; Emilio is the underappreciated spring. We love us some Emilio Estevez. In Queensland we get cheated out of a proper springtime. We feign enjoyment of summer months, wearing denim cut offs and posing in bikinis, when deep down we know—oh we know—we are far too Anglo-Saxon for this sort of behaviour. We reluctantly pull off our beach cover-ups hoping that the sun’s reflection from our pasty skin doesn’t blind a driver and cause a traffic accident. Then winter comes along quietly, creeping up behind us until one morning we wake up and it is 12 degrees. Too late we realise all our jumpers smell like mothballs so we
panic layer and end up looking like The Ultimate Hipster. We think we spend all of our time eating hearty meals and snuggling up with a pet/significant other/Mac Book Pro but in reality we spend it microwaving our underwear and psyching ourselves to step out of the shower. Ahh spring: what a happy medium. If your winter was anything like mine there is a good chance you are one or all of three things: poor, fat, and sick of your boring as shit life. After failing to find the aforementioned significant other did you attempt to fill the void in your life with pizza, vodka and an onesie you bought online? If your answer was yes then do not fear! Vacuum pack that onesie away and thank the universe that you have a three month grace period to get back to your former slightlydisappointing-but-generally-acceptable self! I guarantee that by the end of spring you will be back to pretending to be the person you want everyone to think you are. Step One: Culture-ify Yourself. Pretending to have “hobbies” and “creative outlets” is the pass time of the 21st century Australian middle class. Lucky for us spring begins with the month long Brisbane Festival starting September 8. If you