Up portland september 2017

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SEPT 2017

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Through The Years... Micucci’s Has Been They say that India Street was the first street in Portland, and if one looks carefully on the restored Gorham Savings Building at India & Commercial streets, there’s a plaque memorialising Fort Loyal, which was supposedly that first settlement, though it ended in a tragic massacre. But things did eventually get re-started and India Street became the city’s earlyday hub. The area was settled by Jews, Italians and Irish. And all built stores, religious buildings and more as the city expanded. At one point, Munjoy Hill had so many Jewish people it was dubbed “the Jerusalem of the North” while at the bottom of the hill, a thriving Italian community was growing in the shadow of St. Peter’s Church on Federal Street. As times changed, each community developed in a different way. Much of the Jewish population headed for the “suburbs” after World War II, but the Italian community has hung on strong to this day. And at its centre is, and for decades has been, what we now know as the Micucci Grocery Company at India and Middle Streets. Spending an hour talking with the store’s matriarch, Iris Micucci, who turns 89 this Fall, recently revealed a lot about not only the neighbourhood, but the changes it and she have seen --- both good and bad. The area, she noted, went from the centre of a thriving Italian community to one where folks were scared to walk after dark and now to one of the most gentrified and desired areas to visit and live in Portland. And thru it all, the Italian specialty store has stood, adapted and served its regulars, as well as visitors by the thousands. Long gone are places like the Pen & Pencil Club (an after-hours spot which stood about where Nine Stones Spa does now at Fore and India). And the Commercial Fruit Company owned by the Colello Family which occupied the space where Lois’ Natural is these days. A gas station on India Street was later bought by Port City Glass and the lot is now becoming condos as The Mason Block. And, of course, the lamented Village Cafe sat where part of the Bay House Condos are now along Middle Street.

building became available at Middle & India streets in 1966. The structure (the one we still know today) had been part of the rather imposing Florence Hotel (We didn’t mention there was ever an Italian Hotel at India and Middle streets, did we?). The hotel had burned in 1930 and the Cartonio family removed the badly-damaged top floors and restored the bottom ones into a store with a small lunch counter. It was that which Leo and Iris bought in 1966 to find what’s become the permanent home for Micucci Grocery Company.

Along the way, Mrs. Micucci noted the neighbourhood had a barber shop (where Ribollita and Duckfat are these days) as well as several Kosher butcher shops down where Eventide is, and a drugstore in the building now housing Hugo’s. There were other, more contemporary spots, too. Bruno’s (now out Forest Avenue) started in part of the space now occupied by Micucci’s and Sangiello’s, which later occupied the building on Hampshire Street where Tomasso’s is now, was right there as well. Micucci’s itself traces their roots to 1950 and a father, Leo Micucci, who was a boxer of note in this area and as such travelled around to matches and events in the ring. Each time he’d go --- especially to fight in Boston, which has and always has had a large Italian community --- friends would ask him to pick up cheeses, pasta and other Italian food items not available in Maine. That gave him the idea to start a store and sell those items in Portland. For years, the shop had no permanent home, renting spots in the Old Port and nearby, until a

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But there’s a bit more to the story. Leo ran the place, but his love was also on the second floor, where what’s now a room used for community meetings, like the India Street Neighbourhood Association, served as a training gym for him and other aspiring boxers.

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At The Centre Of Life Along India Street But while Micucci’s might have been the heart of the thriving Italian neighbourhood, its soul has always remained St. Peter’s Church (below left during this year’s festival) a few blocks up India Street, where the annual Italian Fest still brings in the crowds every August.

Eventually the grocery business became so successful that he bought a truck, hung up his boxing gloves and expanded his business, selling olives at the store from barrels and cheese, which hung from the ceiling on ropes, which Mrs. Micucci said she remembers well for the aroma and the fact that on hot Summer days, the oil would drip from the fresh romano, parmesan and other cheeses. The cheese was never pre-packaged and always was cut, she recalled, by hand when a customer would come in.

In between the church and store, a lot of businesses existed and still do. “What’s now Coffee By Design was the first bakery for Amato’s. The original of that was across the street (where the garden is now at Newbury and India streets). We knew the area was starting to come back when restaurants started opening in the Old Port, too. Dick DiFranco’s Gaslight Restaurant was on Exchange Street and DiMillo’s original was on Commercial Street,” Mrs. Micucci recalled with a smile.

“Of course, these days the health department would never stand for that... and the same for the open containers of olives and other items, but back then nobody thought a thing about it and it all contributed to the feel and smell of the store,” she noted. As the store continued to grow, other things were added. There was a garden out back when they started (thus the steps between levels of the store today) and folks could grab a sandwich from Bruno’s or the deli and eat outside. The old second floor gym (above as it looks today) became a men’s hangout called The Banana Club, where folks with nicknames like “Half Man” gathered to pass the time playing cards and smoking cigars. So many of those cigars were dropped out of the 2nd floor windows that holes were burnt in the awning below and eventually the Banana Club was shut down. But other firsts and changes were happening all around, too. A rail line ran down the centre of Commercial Street --- the path still visible by the centre lane’s different colour pavement. Down there, at a warehouse that’s long-gone at Commercial and Fore, railcars would arrive and Rick Micucci, now the store’s owner, and his brothers would go down with hand carts and the store’s infamous green truck to haul up cases of sauces, tomatoes and other supplies. Included among them was the very first load of pizza sauce to ever arrive by rail in Portland.

There was also a huge foundry which ran night and day, leaving many in the area going to sleep to the thump and bang of the old metal presses. That foundry took up a large chunk of the area just north of the grocery. “And back then Hancock Street was not even a street between Middle and Fore,” Mrs. Micucci recalled, remembering that the foundry’s many buildings included some that took the space of what’s now the roadway which connects to the waterfront at Ocean Gate. More of the foundry was where the Residence Inn is now and the remaining parts (the only ones still standing) are what’s now Shipyard Brewing on Hancock Street. Meanwhile, Micucci’s stayed and thrived. The barrels from the 60’s gave way to packaged olives, oils and gourmet items. And the family, seeing that the store was being overrun with stock, opened a wholesale division in the Riverside neighbourhood which serves customers across the Northeast. That allowed space for the grocery to expand their shelves and bakery, make more of their famous pizza, sandwiches and become a restaurant once again. What’s that adage about the more things change, the more they stay the same? Please Continue On The Next Page

Taken Years Apart: Leo & Iris Micucci pose on the same staircase in the store on India Street. Up Portland 09.17 In Print * On The Web At: www.upportland.com * On Facebook Page 3


Continued From Page Three These days, the area has become trendy once again, too. Visitors get off cruise ships and walk by for pizza. A counter was added this Summer and some outside seating to go along with what’s indoors. The inside of Micucci’s, according to Rick, is about to undergo another change as well with the store’s retail area pushing back into what’s been warehouse space because the demand for everything from olive oil and salami to English Tea (did we mention Mrs. Micucci’s husband may have been Italian, but she is a native of Wales?) continues to increase. So the question most asked of Rick and the rest of the staff these days: Is the store staying on India Street when condos, restaurants and spas are going up on every side? Rick’s reply is a definite “Yes, and as long as it’s fun and I enjoy coming to work, as I do now, we will be here. I get calls all the time offering to buy the building, but we aren’t going anywhere.” It needs mentioning, too, that Rick has children who help out at the store on school holidays, and Mrs. Micucci sometimes comes in to see her old friends and help out a bit too, so for now there’s not only a long reach back into history, but a look forward that pretty much guarantees there’s going to be a Micucci Grocery Company on India Street for a long time to come. Stop by and check it out, but remember one other tradition continues to live on: Micucci’s is closed Sundays because, just as Rick’s mom and dad did, everybody needs a day off to rest, relax and recharge.

Maine Jewish Museum

Opening Reception: September 14, 2017 5pm-7pm Exhibitions: September 14 - November 5, 2017 Holocaust Heroes: Fierce Females Linda Stein

Renewing the Act of Creation Every Day Rabbi David Sandmel

Spiegel Gallery and Fineberg Community Room

Third Floor Sanctuary

Art Talk with Linda Stein: Tuesday, October 3, 6-8 pm & Talk with Anna Wrobel: Sunday, October 15, 2-4 pm Page 4

Maine Jewish Museum

267 Congress Street, Portland, ME 04101 (207) 773-2339

Monday - Friday 10am-4pm + Sundays 1pm - 5pm or by appointment

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When Autumn Leaves Start To Fall... Welcome to Up Portland’s monthly crossword. And this time, we pay tribute to the close of the Summer season for another year, the arrival of chillier weather, colourful leaves and everything which make up the lovely Autumns we have here in Northern New England. You’ll find a lot of familiar (and maybe a few not-so) words here, all having to do with the upcoming Fall season. Be sure you put on that thinking cap, since while some are as easy as raking the yard, others are a bit more difficult to wrap your brain around. Sharpen your pen or pencil and as always, comments are welcome at ted@upportland.com and the solution (no peeking) is on Page 20. Oh, and the photos are some “leafy hints” to a few of the answers... Good luck!

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Food For Thought... This is a tough review for me to write as a relative newcomer from away to Maine. The reason is that Maine Harvest, the up-scale dining room at Harraseeket Inn in Freeport has made what I have been told are a number of changes to try and appeal to a younger audience because, simply put, so many of us old folks are not able to come in much anymore or, in the worstcase, baby boomers who have made this a “go to” spot for fine food and special occasions for decades are dying off --- and the millennials, Xers and Zers and all the rest either do not want quite the formality my generation did or does. That’s left the fine folks in the management office at Harraseeket Inn in a quandary of what to do, so for now they have kept and improved upon some of the area’s best food, but made their dining room a lot more welcoming and way less formal than in the past. If you are of the era where they, and a number of other spots here, required certain dress codes, especially for dinner, you will be happy (as this reviewer is) to discover those days are done in the Maine Harvest dining room. Take several other area spots including (but not limited to) Black Point Inn, whose website says: “Business Casual (No Jeans, shorts or flip-flops. Collared shirts are required for gentlemen)...” in their fine dining room, The Point, for dinner. Or Migis Lodge on Sebago Lake, where I have thus far avoided visiting (despite good comments from friends about the food) due to what this reviewer feels is a overly-draconian dress code for 2017: “Beginning at 5.30 p.m. our dress code applies in the Main Lodge, on the Porch and Terraces, in the Dining Room and Family Dining Room: --Gentlemen aged 13 and older are required to wear jackets --Gentlemen of all ages are required to wear a collared shirt and we would prefer that traditional khaki or other dress pants are chosen --Ladies may choose dress pants or capris, skirts, dresses, blouses, dressier tops and sweaters. --Please no T-shirts, athletic wear or baseball cap --Dress is casual for Breakfast, Lunch and any outdoor meals. Thank you for your adherence to and support of our dress code.” This writer certainly does not support such a dress code, especially for a lakeside resort, despite the fact it’s apparently been in place for generations and we are told the food is good and the regulars (who come back year after year) love things as they are. Maybe it’s the rebellious side of me, or maybe that I swore I’d not adhere to a dress code after I left corporate America and started my own business. I do not know. But I do know that at Harraseeket Inn’s Maine Harvest, the food is wonderful and I was quite welcome in my jeans, New Balance (made in Maine) shoes and American Eagle shirt. To each his or her own, but this is a review and that means opinion --- and ours is we loved it that not a single diner (or the host) on our recent visit had a tie on or looked uncomfortable. Bravo!

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OK, so to get the more important part: What’s on the plate as opposed to what’s on the diners’ backs. And with that we found not a single thing to whine about at Maine Harvest either. The menu has been changed totally for the better. The tables have been sent out for a re-do and now are absent the old tablecloths, though what’s served on them has been improved under the watchful eyes of Executive Chef Troy Mains, with the support of the Harraseeket General Manager Chip Gray and restaurant boss Robyn Persson. It all adds up to a real go-to for us at our house, where we constantly seem to try and balance a “fancy” night out at those often crowded and over-promoted restaurants in the Old Port with going too informal and not making the night special. It appears that same balance has been struck already at Maine Harvest with some people in the area as a young guy was celebrating his birthday with family a couple tables away when we ate recently, and others from the hotel and area were seated at the bar and nearby enjoying their time out. The room, despite the physical changes, still retains an air of coziness (above) that’s hard to beat anywhere. Of course the 23 fireplaces scattered thruout the inn do not hurt at all in achieving that special home-like feeling in any season. But back to the plates: A great menu choice offering vegetarian, seafood, beef and poultry, with a lot of fun and delicious twists, plus a salute to tradition still present. Included in the appetisers is a Lobster Crepe and also something called the “Taste of Maine” which is Oysters Rockefeller, Smoked Maine Shrimp, a Grilled Lobster Tail with Herb Butter and Crab Salad in Endive.” I’d say that makes our state pretty tasty though at $36 not cheap. There are also traditional items, from a wonderful Caesar Salad I enjoyed ($10, with a white anchovy!) to Lobster Stew and Cream of Aspara-

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gus Soup. My dining partner enjoyed his Tomato and Citrus Salad (right, $12, with Endive, Pistachio, Spiced Goat Cheese, Tangerine Balsamic) and with a tip of the hat to our friend Peggy, they did also have an Arugula Salad (includes Strawberries, Feta, Almonds, Radishes with Blueberry Vinaigrette) as she’s a huge fan of the greens. Moving to the mains, things are equally balanced. There was a vegetarian Ravioli, and of course (this being Maine) Steamed Lobster. But along with those there were some very tasty and interesting choices, which is our way to say we plan a revisit soon to try more than the couple we got to this first go-round. I was feeling in a beefy mood the night we visited so opted for the Grilled Rib Eye (Right, $26, with Herbed Duck Fat Potatoes, Green Beans, Tarragon Butter) and which our smiling server brought out perfectly extra rare as ordered. Partner Ivan, who is more into his seafood than beef, opted for the Salmon (Next page, $26, served with Asparagus, Wild Mushrooms, Lime and Dill Scented Yogurt) and proclaimed it excellent. Coming from him, that’s more than a passing compliment as Salmon is one of those things that can end up over-cooked and dry. Maine Harvest got it right, and it was delicious. Please Continue On The Next Page

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More Food For Thought... Continued From The Previous Page

gamble pay off? Only time will tell, but we recommend you head up to Harraseeket Inn and give it a try yourself. To find out more (including the complete menu) visit www.harraseeketinn. com/dining and do book a table in Maine Harvest. They are open Sunday, Monday and Thursday: 5.30 till 9 p.m., Friday and Saturday: from 5.30 till 9.30. The hard-working staff gets time to relax Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Finally, before I move on, I need to say that probably the Maine Harvest’s biggest and toughest competitor is right down the hall: Harraseeket Inn’s Broad Arrow Tavern, which we have written and raved about here many times. If you are reading this and have some time for a nice meal, either will work and both have their strong points, but to keep the choice and to retain the full service and great atmosphere at the inn, there has to be a niche for both rooms... which is our way to say try both, or if you have been to the tavern, book in the Maine Harvest next time for a pleasant (and, we’ll say once more, informal) change! Bits & Bites... More on the food front... ---Big Sky is more than bread. If you were unaware of that, then now would be a great time to head over to their main location in the former Engine House Number Eight at 536 Deering Avenue in Woodfords Corner, where we had a grand lunch recently while watching their bakers going full throttle baking, making and slicing.

Looking down the new menu, we spotted, amongst the vegetarian and contemporary items, at least a couple traditional favourites we plan to try on future trips. Those are two dishes rarely seen on menus these days and lamented by some of us older folks: Chateaubriand and Rack of Lamb. Both of these are priced ($90) and served for two and come with appropriate vegetables and sides, including a sherry and mint sauce (Please, please, not jelly!) for the lamb. Looking round the dining room we spotted a wide variety of the ample menu’s items on tables, meaning that it’s not only finding a niche, but the informality is helping along a bit, too. We’d say that it’s great also, to see a restaurant --- and especially one connected to an inn --- try to keep up with the times, while not leaving its traditionalists in the dust. And it’s a hard and finely tuned balancing act. We were in Sturbridge, Massachusetts a few months back and had a wonderful dinner at The Publick House Historic Inn. While they had great food (best lobster pie anywhere we’ve visited) the average age of the diners the night we were there was somewhere north of 60. A similar situation was evident when we headed to Scarborough and did lunch at the Black Point Inn awhile back. Again, great food and again well-dressed diners, but again leaving this reviewer wondering whose butts will be in those seats in five, ten or 20 years as my generation vanishes. So will Maine Harvest succeed? Will Chip and Robyn and Chef Mains

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They also have a location on the ground floor of the Public Market House at 28 Monument Square. We have dropped by that spot many times to grab a loaf of bread (love the Challah on Fridays) but we did not know what we were missing until one recent day when we found ourselves wanting lunch on Forest Avenue and recalling some friends telling us to try Big Sky. Our only sadness is that we waited so long to go for it, as the food was wonderful, the atmosphere (while a bit cramped with a brief wait for tables) was fun in the middle of the working bakery and the overall experience quite reasonable for a nice informal meal. Hours for lunch, by the way, vary, but at the main location, the bakery’s open weekdays from 7 a.m. until 6 p.m., Saturdays 7 till 5 and Sundays 8 till 4, but the lunch hours are weekdays 11 till 5, Saturdays till 4 and Sundays till 3. The menu is extensive and be warned: Come hungry, prepare to take some food home or share. We opted for a Panini (next page), which the menu says is on grilled French Bread. We chose the Italian Panini (Smoked ham, genoa salami, red onion, red pepper, tomato, provolone, mayo & hot oil, $7.50) and really struggled to finish despite going in hungry and the food being served really hot and wonderful. Everything we spotted on other tables looked just as huge and also just as good so as my late dad used to tell us when we were kids: “Order something and if you are still hungry order more... you do not have to order it all at once!” Good advice still. There are all sorts of choices from breads, cookies, half sandwiches and soups as well as salads (from Garden to Chef, which too few places still offer) and everything in between. While you are at Big Sky, don’t forget to marvel at the old building. Not only do you eat where the fire trucks used to park, but if you look carefully right by the shelves and list of what’s being baked “today” you can even spot the brass fire pole from the building’s past.

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To find out more, check the menus and see some awesome photos of the place when the fire trucks ran (and even a pic of the fire dog “Booster” taken atop an engine in the late 1950’s) visit www.mainebread.com Please do not follow in this reviewer’s footsteps in this case and keep driving right by the Big Sky Bread Company’s main location and bakery. It’s well worth a stop! ---Finally, we never cease to understand some of the business practices we see at Portland’s restaurants which may explain why failures seem to run so rampant (and why we write about, but do not own, a restaurant). One spot which delivers to other eateries in the Old Port daily has a boss who demands that if somewhere orders from them, they must do the same order every day, not change it on days when there’s more or less demand for their excellent product. This is despite their delivery passing on the streets every day. Can we say lost business? I bet most spots would love the extra sales and not the all-or-nothing deal demanded by a stubborn business person I’ll leave nameless here! Another spot we shall also leave nameless keeps monkeying with their menu. We were in recently and surprised there was none of their awesome salad next to our sandwich. We were even more shocked to find out it’s been “discontinued until Fall.” When we commented that was not a good change, management responded “yeah we have been hearing that a lot, too!” Our comment: Listen to your customers because while change is sometimes good, other times it’s not and we fickle diners are known for voting --- with our feet!

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Up Portland Is A Proud Member of the

October Edition Deadline

Friday 22nd September Papers On Street: Tuesday 26th September

Up Portland is edited in Portland and printed the last week of every month in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. We may be contacted at the e-mail or phone number below. While every effort is made to ensure accuracy and fairness, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors. Liability is limited to the cost of said ad. Ads not cancelled by published deadlines may be billed at agreed-upon price. Ads may be edited or rejected for content at the discretion of the publisher. All items appearing in Up Portland, as well as the name, logos and design are copyright 2017 by BBS, A division of High Speed Delivery Fork Ltd. & Ted Fleischaker and may not be reproduced in any form without prior written approval.

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Sauntering With Mat

By Mat Robedee / Up Portland Commentator

aimed to provide an experience rather than cram a ton of people into one area for increased profit. The yurts themselves are built with impressive craftsmanship and it is obvious that great attention and care were put into every detail. Each yurt includes a beautiful deck, outdoor shower, fire pit and top-notch outhouse (yes, it is possible). In addition to this, I believe firewood is also provided for each site (but I would ask about this upon booking). The yurt interiors are simple yet they have everything a person needs for a relaxed stay: comfortable beds, gas stove and kitchenette. For me, what really sealed the deal though was the ability to park directly on site. I love camping but having to haul everything back and forth along trails can be a hassle. Also, in case you are wondering, yes there is electricity on site. While staying with Maine Forest Yurts I was also pleasantly surprised to discover that the yurts themselves were not the only attraction. The pond is only a very short walk from each dwelling and campers are allowed free use of their kayaks, canoes and paddling gear. Runaround Pond itself is roughly two miles long and surrounded by wilderness. Before dinner on my first night’s stay, my roommates and I went for a sunset paddle along the pond to scout wildlife. That evening, in addition to the numerous fish jumping, we were able to see ospreys, kingfishers, herons, frogs and turtles. Of course I crossed my fingers in hopes of seeing a moose but sadly had no luck…perhaps next time.

If you are looking for an outdoor getaway but the idea of camping makes you cringe or perhaps you just need a break from your traditional tent, you my friend, are in luck. Roughly 35 minutes north of Portland in the town of Durham you will find Maine Forest Yurts. Located on Runaround Pond, this must-see campground encompasses over 100 acres of wilderness and truly is a “must-do” item on your Maine adventures list. I was fortunate to spend a night in one of their yurts this Summer and it truly did not disappoint. What exactly is a yurt you may ask? Well for starters they have been in continuous use throughout regions of Central Asia for thousands of years. Often seen as architectural wonders, yurts are round, semi-permanent tents that often have some different features in their design that adapt them to different climates and uses. The appealing circular shape creates an energy efficient and unique living space. Throughout the United States and Canada, yurts are commonly made using strong contemporary materials and are built for extreme weather conditions. Maine Forest Yurts is an ideal pond-side retreat for those seeking an overnight adventure away from the city - without having to part with modern living conveniences. There are a total of three yurts available to rent. The low number available is also one of the campground’s greatest perks. If you are fortunate enough to stay in a yurt for a night or even a weekend – it truly feels as if you have the entire campground to yourself. It is easy to see that Maine Forest Yurts is a business

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In addition to a yurt adventure in the warmer weather just ending, Maine Forest Yurts offer rentals year round. That means if you missed your chance this Summer, consider a get-away this Winter. Make use of this land by exploring it via cross-country skis, ice-skates or snowshoes. Maine Forest Yurts are owned and operated by the Crowley Family, who developed their property to share the love they have for the Maine outdoors with others. If the family name sounds familiar, it may be because you have heard of Bob Crowley. In 2008, Bob was selected to compete on the reality TV show Survivor and after 39 days in Gabon, he was voted the oldest winner in the show’s history. The Facts: Maine Forest Yurts are open year-round. Cost: $140 per night; $15 per night each additional person for groups of three or more, but children and dogs are FREE. A two night minimum stay is required on weekends and holidays. Location: 430 Auburn-Pownal Road, Durham, Maine 04222. Contact: Phone: 207/400.5956 or on the web at https://maineforestyurts.com/

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Downtown’s Most Up-To

3 1

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To-Date Map & Directory

4 9 2 6 7

Top Stops By The Numbers

10 8 5

The Observatory

1

Coastal Pharmacy

2

Rite Aid Pharmacy

3

Hannaford (Grocery)

4

Whole Foods

5

CVS Pharmacy

6

Two Fat Cats Bakery

7

Ocean Gate Terminal

8 1

Maine State Pier

Maine Jewish Museum & Etz Chaim Synagogue 10 Longfellow House 9 1

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Hackin’ The Net By Ted Fleischaker / Publisher It seems no matter how hard I try, this column gets deluged with topics leaving me little choice but to try and address several each issue. That’s the case this month, after I say thank you for the many kind words about previous columns, including one from a friend who says he is “very non-tech” but that the columns are spell-binding. My reply (aside from thank you) is I hope you are getting something you can use out of them! ---Let’s talk a second about that old saw that something too good to be true is... and add that this is especially so on your phone, pad or computer. It’s even more so when someone you know sends an offer of something and asks for information they either have or do not need. Now, part two of the advice: No matter how tempting, do not click on e-mails and attachments from folks you do not know, send info to or phone anyone who just “happens” to as to get in touch. Logic needs to come into play, but recently one of my closest friends got snookered by an e-mail attachment asking for some personal information, which he naively gave them. And ya know what? By end of the day that unknown “friend” who’d asked for the info had tried to get his broker to wire $17,000 from my pal’s account. And ten more of his friends got e-mails (including me, whose system blocked it, upper right) asking for their info --- and on and on. Three days later, the same friend got an “official” notice supposedly from Apple claiming they’d locked his services and demanding (Guess what?) his user names and passwords again! We have said this before almost to the point of nausea, but we shall risk it again: ANYTHING which pops up or anyone who e-mails asking you to hand out personal info online is a fraud. Unless you talk (as in via phone) to the person or firm making the request after you call them, NEVER give out any info. Even then, give the bank or whomever what’s needed on the phone (after you call them back at their listed main number!) or drop by a branch. Never respond if they call you: FRAUD! Let’s use logic. Your

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bank wouldn’t want or need your account or Social Security number because they have it. Same with your driver’s license numbers and other IDs. Same is true of your broker, your internet service provider, phone service company, Apple and about anything or anyone else whose identities are faked by criminals who send out thousands of e-mails and make thousands of calls a day hoping that even one half of one percent of the people getting those messages will let their guard down. Just don’t do it! If you really do think the IRS needs to speak with you... or your bank... or the Social Security folks, then simply look up their number and call them or go by and see them at the local office. I will give you a 100% chance that they did not e-mail or put a pop-up screen on your computer wanting to chat after you give them some personal info. 100%. Add to that, if you do get hit with one of the fraudulent e-mails or requests, take a deep breath and look carefully at what you were sent. The one my pal got supposedly from Apple (at left) is full of typos, bad grammar and screams fake from every line. Don’t you think one of the largest firms in the world would proof what they send out? Fortunately our friend caught on pretty quickly on the second try and his bank called after the first to ask if he really wanted to transfer 17 grand so they were on the job, too. By day’s end he had new passwords, user names and was again safe from the criminals, but it had been a close call. Easy solution: Think first...use logic and keep that private info private! More about that below. ---We seem to write about it way, way too often but just as I was working on this column’s comments above I got word of yet a new outbreak of ransomware --- and this one is affecting Macs, not just pc computers. In case you been away at the beach or camp all Summer with no communications, ransomware is a nasty little bit of a file someone can send as an e-mail attachment or even imbed in an innocent-looking photo of say a cute cat or dog that can end up on your computer. Wikipedia says: “Ransomware is a type of malicious software from cryptovirology that threatens to publish the victim’s data or perpetually block access to it unless a ransom is paid. While some simple ransomware may lock the system in a way which is not difficult for a knowledgeable person to reverse, more advanced malware uses a technique called cryptoviral extortion, in which it encrypts the victim’s files, making them inaccessible, and demands a ransom payment to decrypt them...” In other words, you can get locked out of your own device. This bout of ransomware has been shutting down transport systems, hospitals and even all of the British National Health all Summer and Spring, and the latest round appears to not only affect pcs, but Macs which have mostly heretofore been exempt from the code the crooks used. That means its time for me, and my fellow Mac users to skip the attitude and protect ourselves along with our pc friends.

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In truth, while the rice trick might get your phone working again for a bit, the moisture continues inside to do its nasty deeds. Things will corrode (not might) and rust once they have been wet. If you should be lucky and get that phone to work, understand it’s for a hot second and the rust, corrosion and damage won’t stop. Sooner or later (likely the former) your device will fail permanently. There’s also the issue of trying to “fake it” to the tech at the Genius Bar, Geek Squad or other repair facility. They, too, have a dirty little secret. OK, maybe not as dirty as that water in your phone if it landed in the “pot” but dirty: There are sensors inside phones, computers and tablets which change colour when they detect moisture ---- even for a second. Dry the phone, use the rice if you must, but when it fails the tech will know that somewhere, somehow it got wet as those sensors stay “on” and will tell on you. And THAT, my friends, means your warranty is over. My best tip? Prevent liquid damage! If you are home, put your device down before you head into the kitchen, bathroom or anywhere with water. If you are out, give the phone to a friend for their pocket or purse while you use the loo. If you are solo, take it out of the back jeans pocket and put it in your coat (on the hook on the stall door) or at least drop your pants and pull em up (for the guys) as far as you can in the stall from the toilet so if it should fall it will hit the floor, not the drink. A friend who’s a tech sent a text to me about this which said, “So, ransomware is rampant on Macs right now. It might be a good thing to turn on two step for your Apple ID... We have had three computers today. We have to do Applecare chats to get the hard drive firmware unlocked and then erase the machine. You can use a back-up to restore but if it were to happen during a busy work week you could be without your machine for a whole day and that could suck...”

This sounds sorta like kindergarten advice, but if you talk to the techs, you’ll quickly find out that a lotta phones, pads and even laptops take dives. Oh, and at the beach, it might be good to get special protection or leave the device locked in your trunk as at the shore not only can that salt water do damage fast, but there’s sand and all manner of other things those devices are not meant to be exposed to.

What’s he talking about? Well Macs do have the ability for a fix by talking to Applecare techs, and then you re-establishing your hard drive from your back-up. You did read what we wrote last time about back-ups, yes? If not, visit www. upportland.com and check out the August column.

How big is the protection biz for phones and more? Check out http://www.idownloadblog.com/2013/06/29/iphone-cases-beach/ or go visit places like Amazon or LL Bean as they all have covers and cases meant to keep the sand and water out. Remember that old line about an ounce of prevention, and know that less than an ounce of liquid will wreck your device. And almost every time the cost to fix or replace it will be on you --- not the phone’s maker or your carrier since negligence is usually not covered by any of the policies offered.

Meanwhile, what is two-step verification? I can tell readers it’s not a dance, but it gives an extra layer of protection to your various accounts. The Apple support site says: “Two-step verification is a security feature for Apple ID that’s designed to prevent anyone else from accessing or using your account, even if they know your password. It requires you to verify your identity using one of your devices or another approved method before you can sign in to your Apple ID account page.”

So save the rice to go with a nice dinner. Don’t waste it on a phone “rescue” that’s not gonna work. Instead keep your device out of water’s way and celebrate a bit of time unplugged at the beach, the pool or in your kayak.

In other words, while nothing can be 100% sure, this can help slow down or almost stop folks like the ones who got my friend’s info and tried to steal that $17,000. Or the ones who locked down the hospitals in the UK demanding $800 per computer in Bitcoin to unlock them. This is a better safe than sorry scenario, so do some research, check your passwords and security and just as mom told you about taking candy or rides when you were a kid, do not click on anything from strangers.... ---Finally this month, pay attention when you use a device to text, talk or surf and really use common sense. I do not know how many times my techie friends have told me horror stories about what they politely call a “toilet phone”. That’s one which has been in the bowl --- the toilet bowl. Clean or “dirty” water, one thing does not matter: That phone will be toast and good for nothing. Liquid damage cannot (despite the urban legend which circulates all the time online) be reversed by placing your phone in rice or doing anything else. The theory goes that putting the phone in rice will cause the dry rice (not cooked rice, oh NO!) to “draw out” any moisture in the phone, dry it out and make it good as new.

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Beyond The Forecast

By Jack Sillin / Weatherman & Meterology Student Hello everyone!

We’re now rapidly approaching Summer’s conclusion here in Maine. The sun is rising later and setting earlier as we slowly move towards Fall. As the air slowly but surely gets cooler, the question on everyone’s mind will turn to the upcoming Winter. Are we going to have a harsh Winter or is it going to be mild? My forecast will be the topic of November’s column as I like to get a good look at the Fall’s weather pattern before I try to predict the Winter’s. This month, I’d like to talk a little about seasonal forecasting in general. Are seasonal forecasts any good? How do they work? What are some of the methods meteorologists use to predict weather patterns weeks or even months ahead of time? I want to start out with what I feel is one questionable example of seasonal forecasting. The Farmer’s Almanac, which is published in Lewiston, claims to produce accurate seasonal forecasts using a “secret recipe” of methods. The Lewiston Sun Journal featured them in a page one story a few days ago and their website virtually screams out that they have the info. In reality, I feel they’re no better than flipping a coin that usually lands the same way: cold and snowy for the Northeast. Last year, they issued that forecast and despite some cold temperatures and a bit of snow (both of which happen during the Winter here in Maine, but you didn’t need me to tell you that), we actually ended up slightly above normal temperature wise as well as with above average snowfall that totalled nearly 100”. And let’s not single The Farmer’s Almanac out, either. Others claim looking at “signs” as diverse as woolly worms, the skies in July and acorns on and off the trees, as well as other “secret” methods let them have the inside track. And those forecasts abound --- from local writers to The Old Farmer’s Almanac (published in New Hampshire, as differentiated from the Maine-based Farmers Almanac) and uniformly the best of these “ancient formulas” and “secret methods” are little better than flipping that proverbial coin. Now that we’ve established that secret formulas of ancient magic aren’t very good at predicting weather patterns months in advance, we can explore some of the techniques that are good predictors of seasonal patterns. By the end of the next couple paragraphs, you’re going to have a pretty good idea of why seasonal forecasting is so hard, no matter how many acorns or worms you count. One of the biggest influences on seasonal weather patterns is the El-Nino Southern Oscillation or ENSO for short. Basically, ENSO is a pattern that reverses every couple years across the equatorial East Pacific. In warm El Nino years, trade winds reverse across the region and westerly winds blow warm water towards the coast of Peru. In cold La Nina years, the opposite happens. While Peru may seem like a distant place, ENSO changes cascade through the entire global climate system. ENSO changes can be responsible for wildfires in Alaska, floods in India, droughts in Africa, hurricanes in Japan and, yes, even Nor’easters off the coast of Maine. If ENSO was the only thing influencing seasonal weather patterns,

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predicting them would be easy. However, there are many other factors that compete to drive these patterns. One of the big things meteorologists look for when doing forecasts for the winter is how snow cover in Siberia evolves during September and October. Generally speaking, the more snow there is in Siberia in October, the more snow there is in Maine in February. Ocean temperature patterns across the world play a role too. If there’s warm water in the North Pacific near British Columbia, chances are there’s going to be colder than normal weather in Maine. However, if there’s warm water in Hudson Bay, those cold air masses can modify and lose some of their punch. Warm waters off the East Coast are a double edge sword. They can help fuel powerful Nor’easters that bring us wicked snow and wind, but they can also lead to incursions of warm air and rain. Radiation from the sun can have an impact. The sun has cycles where it puts out more radiation or less radiation. Generally these cycles are about 12 years long. During solar minimums, there’s less radiation coming in from the sun, which means there’s less for the earth to absorb which generally means colder temperatures. Patterns of tropical thunderstorm activity can play a part too. If it’s abnormally stormy over Indonesia, chances for cold weather go up in Maine, but if those storms take a trip to India, we can miss out. Did you catch all that? If I were to attempt to list every possible impact on Maine’s Winter weather patterns, we’d be just getting started. I want to pause here though because I think I’ve made my point --- hopefully without boring you. That point is that there are a LOT of factors that can influence Maine’s winter weather in one way or another. If all of those vectors are pulling in the same direction, the forecast is a slam dunk. Let’s quickly review what would need to happen for me to be extremely confident in a cold and snowy Winter. There would need to be warm-ish waters off of Peru, but not too warm. It would have to snow a lot in Siberia. Water temperatures would have to be warm near Alaska, cold in Hudson Bay, and warm, but not too warm, off North Carolina. Cold waters near Greenland would also help. The sun would have to be in a solar minimum, and there would ideally be thunderstorms over Indonesia. How likely is it that all of that is going to happen at the same time? Pretty unlikely. A seasonal forecaster’s job would then be to try to figure out which factors will have the biggest impact in any given month or year. Is there going to be constructive or destructive interference if it’s warm near Peru but cold by Alaska? What happens if it snows a lot in Siberia but it’s stormy in India? The list of competing influences could go on forever. Sometimes, competing influences will cancel each other out and you’ll end up with a pretty average winter. Other times, like last year, competing influences will enhance one another leading to wild swings between extreme warmth and extreme cold. The bottom line is that seasonal forecasting is incredibly hard. The earth’s atmosphere is an infinitely complex system and those of you familiar with chaos theory know that predicting the future behaviour of an infinitely complex system is impossible. That’s why I don’t know if it’s going to rain on your event three months from next Tuesday. That being said, the atmosphere does give us some clues as to what it’s going to do in the future. If you look closely enough and have a good enough understanding of the atmosphere and the patterns that drive its behaviour, you can make a half-decent estimation of what the general pattern will be like in the months

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ahead. Just don’t be surprised if the forecast doesn’t exactly turn out as planned. I’ll be back next month with more weather as we begin to gear up for Winter, but meantime take all those almanacs and soothsayers for what they are: entertainment! -Jack

Jack’s Weather Terms Each month I define a couple terms to help expand your weather vocabulary. In honour of Hurricane Harvey’s landfall in Texas, this month’s terms have a tropical theme. Perhaps they’ll come in handy here in Maine as we approach the peak of hurricane season. It’s not unheard of for us to get tropical activity every now and again. Eyewall: the eyewall of a hurricane is a rapidly rotating cluster of thunderstorms that contains the hurricane’s most vicious rain and wind. Wind speeds in the eyewall range from 75 miles an hour in weak hurricanes to 180 miles an hour in the strongest systems. The eyewall forms a ring around the calm centre of the storm, known as the eye, which often features clear skies and little to no wind at all. Occasionally the storms in the eyewall can spin so fast they fall apart. When this happens, a secondary eyewall forms and takes over. This process is known as an eyewall replacement cycle, and can temporarily result in weakening of a system as the inner core sorts itself out. Spiral band: outside of the eyewall, thunderstorms are organised in features known as spiral bands. Spiral bands can be hundreds of miles long and often contain individual cells that produce severe weather, including tornadoes. Winds in the spiral bands are not as intense as in the eyewall and the weather often takes on a squally appearance with bursts of heavy rain and wind punctuated by calmer conditions and even sunshine. Spiral bands and their impacts can extend hundreds of miles from the centre of the storm.

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Eric’s Optimal Corner Mike Courts / Optimal Self Community Health and Wellness Center One of the great benefits of living in a city like Portland is the ability to walk to most every place you want to go. I spend a significant amount of time walking around the West End and downtown. Walking so much is not only good for my health, it gives me a great chance to observe people going about their daily lives. I am saddened that many of them are smoking. But it is not unique to Portland. I have been blessed to travel widely in the U.S. and abroad, and smoking -- unfortunately -- is everywhere. People from all walks of life – young and old, men and women, people walking and people in vehicles, people working and people playing – great numbers of them are smoking. In addition to the harm smoking does to the smoker, it also causes significant damage to others and the environment. A visual indication of this is the number of cigarette butts on sidewalks, walking paths, streets and in gutters. I try not to think about what those millions of discarded NON-biodegradable filters are doing to our environment as they get swept into Casco Bay.

How are others impacted by secondhand smoke and the environmental damage left behind by smokers? According to the CDC, secondhand smoke (the combination of smoke from the end of a cigarette and exhaled smoke) contains more than 7,000 chemicals. Hundreds are toxic and about 70 can cause cancer. Since the 1964 Surgeon General’s Report, 2.5 million adults who were nonsmokers died because they breathed secondhand smoke. There is no risk-free level of exposure to secondhand smoke.

Secondhand smoke causes numerous health problems in infants and children, including more frequent and severe asthma attacks, respiratory infections, ear infections and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).

Smoking during pregnancy results in more than 1,000 infant deaths yearly.

Some of the health conditions caused by secondhand smoke in adults include coronary heart disease, stroke and lung cancer.

In addition, non-smokers have to deal with the constant assault by secondhand smoke while walking down the street, enjoying the park, entering buildings, dining outside and even in their own homes when windows are open. As deadly as smoking is to people, it is also very dangerous to the planet. According to WHO, “Tobacco smoking leads directly to the emission of 2.6 million tons of carbon dioxide and about 5.2 million tons of methane. Deforestation is the second largest anthropogenic source of carbon dioxide to the atmosphere (approximately 20%), after fossil fuel combustion. One estimate of the impact of deforestation in tobacco agriculture and curing is that it causes almost 5% of global greenhouse gas production. And that doesn’t include the environmental impact of lighters, matches, cigarette butts, and packaging.

They are the most prevalent trash item on earth. Globally, over 4 trillion (with a “T”) butts are discarded each year. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), more than a billion people smoke globally and over five million die each year from tobacco related illnesses. As a life-long health and fitness advocate, my hope is that the number of cigarettes manufactured and consumed drops to zero! The cost to the health and well-being of smokers is significant. According to the Centres for Disease Control (CDC), the following is a high level summary of the health impacts caused by the consumption of tobacco products and smoking: � Cigarette smoking harms nearly every organ of the body, causes many diseases (including many cancers, heart disease and lung disorders), and reduces the health of smokers in general. � Cigarette smoking is the leading cause of preventable death in the United States and causes more than 480,000 deaths each year in the United States. Over 15 million more suffer from tobacco related illness. � Smoking causes more deaths each year than HIV / AIDS, illegal drug and alcohol use, Motor vehicle injuries and firearm-related incidents combined! � Smoking causes about 90% (or 9 out of 10) of all lung cancer deaths. � Smoking causes diminished overall health, increased absenteeism from work, and increased health care utilisation and cost.

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What about the cost to your bank account? According to Motley Fool, the cost of a packet of cigarettes in Maine averages $7.37. If a person smokes a pack a day, the annual cost to purchase cigarettes is $2,690. If you invested that money annually at a rate of 4% over a 20-year period, you could accumulate over $80,000. Smoking has many detrimental impacts on your health, the health of others and the environment. The only benefit is the enrichment of the corporations who make and sell tobacco products. Think about the dangers to yourself, other people and the environment. Please stop smoking and get started on the road to better health – now! The first step is up to you. One of the many resources you can explore is www. thequitlink.com Good luck and best wishes for a long, healthy and active life. (EDITOR’S NOTE – Mike Courts is a certified personal trainer working with the people at Eric Hilton’s Optimal Self Community Health & Wellness Center here in Portland. Mike is a lifelong health and fitness advocate with a passion for educating family, friends and clients about the dangers and impacts of smoking. Mike can be reached at mrcourts14@gmail.com).

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Processed Media By Randy Dankievitch — TV Editor of Goomba Stomp With Sonic Mania, Sega Redefines the Nostalgic Remake Remake, reboot, remix, “reimagining”, remaster… regardless of what buzzword is attached to it, there have been a LOT of old games seeing re-releases on major consoles. From Final Fantasy VII all the way down to obscure fighting and puzzle games from the Neo Geo, nostalgia for the eras of gaming past have combined with the utter lack of creativity at the AAA level for a generation of games that feel backward-thinking, rather than forward-moving. The eight trillion re-releases of Skyrim, the terrible mobile ports Sega released on iOS this year, the surprisingly awesome Mega Man Legacy and Saturday Afternoon Classics collection, the handful of “remastered” and “definitive” editions of games being released on current consoles… it seems every other game released for consoles these days is either a sequel, a high-definition remaster, or a straight port of a game previously enjoyed on older systems.

It’s been a long time since there was a “good” core Sonic game; past games like Colours, Generations and Sonic The Hedgehog 4 tried to cash in on nostalgia by transforming what we knew about Sonic into something completely anthetical to what makes Sonic great. Sonic Mania does the exact opposite; it leans into the elements that made Sonic memorable – great soundtrack, awesome sense of speed, intricate level design, clever and unique platforming mechanics – and doubles down on them, which is the digital equivalent of perfecting the wheel, rather than trying to reinvent it. Sonic Mania proves a point about retro gaming that’s been dying to be made by the industry for years: empty nostalgia is a short-term emotional fix for a glaring creative flaw. Re-releasing old games just means subjecting gamers to archaic mechanics and technology for the sake of capturing a lost emotion; that kind of gesture is an empty one, asking the gamer to monetarily invest in something that the developer itself invested no creative thought on. Titles like Sonic Mania offer something much more; an opportunity to use modern technology to expand on what made older games so great, observing their technical and creative mastery, and using that reverence to further explore the space of possibility offered by these iconic titles. Again, imitation will only get you cold, inert nostalgia; when a game like Sonic Mania is able to forge a new connection with gamers by wowing them once again, it feels like a memory of a game come to life, the unexplored potential forever locked in our imaginations suddenly released into the world again.

This is all fine and well, of course; our ability to continuously preserve bits of gaming history through generational technological turnover is an essential part of gaming culture -- from Nintendo’s Virtual Console to the PSone Classics available on Sony’s various platforms. However, these re-releases and re-definitions of games have felt a bit empty; a direct translation of gameplay from one year to another does not equate the same pleasure, and many games have failed to reflect that change. Some may be content to try and play on the emotions players experienced years ago, but those attempts almost always fall short: after all, imitating the experience does not imitate the emotion, and many thoughtless remasters and ports fail to capitalise on the opportunity to re-engage with the gamer. Sonic Mania, the new 16-bit esque platformer developed by popular (and official) Sega emulator professionals, offers a different take on its own history, presenting the many familiar elements of the original 2D Sonic games with the reverence and care one would expect, but with a fearless edge that tries to expand – and in some cases, reinvent – what the Sonic experience was for a gamer. The sense of speed and intricate platforming of the originals remain -- as does much of the original game’s first few levels – but what Sonic Mania does so masterfully is play on that sense of nostalgia, and deliver an entirely new experience with it. The visual and audio design is the foundation for this; built in the image of old Sonic games, this 2D offering recreates many of the tile sets from old, iconic Sonic levels, and presents them almost untouched in the first act (re: level) of each zone (re: world). Green Hill Zone 1, despite having some new pathways and hidden secrets, is built almost identically to the stage in the original game; however, Green Hill Zone 2 takes those familiar elements, and flips them on their head. Forget that each stage has new bosses (which include one of the deepest nostalgic cuts former Game Gear owners will love); each stage has new visuals and mechanics, which turn a familiar experience into something completely new and refreshing, challenging players to engage with their nostalgia on a completely different level, transforming the core experience of “playing Sonic” in an exciting way.

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Financial Focus By Bryce Kronk & Jeremy Urquhart — Edward Jones

International Investing Can Expand Your Horizons

Difficulty in obtaining information – Financial information about specific companies in emerging markets can be hard to obtain, which is why it may be better to invest using professional managers. Given these factors, if you are going to invest internationally, it’s probably a good idea to do so with the help of a financial professional – someone with the resources and experience to help you avoid potential pitfalls. But don't ignore the opportunities available internationally. The exact amount depends on your risk tolerance, goals and time horizon. Remember that the world is a big place – investing an appropriate portion of your portfolio in international investments could help broaden your investment horizons.

If you don’t mind slow trips, you can go around the world in 80 days. But it takes almost no time to become a global investor. So, should you look abroad for good investments? You may not have thought about it. And that may not be all that surprising, because when Americans check market updates, they typically see data for the Dow Jones Industrial Average, the Standard & Poor’s 500 Index and the NASDAQ Composite, all of which provide information for essentially one asset class: large-capitalisation domestic stocks. Yet, U.S. equities actually only represent slightly more than one third of world equities, according to Bloomberg, a financial news service – so if you’re confining yourself to the U.S., you may be missing out on an opportunity. By investing internationally, you can gain at least two significant benefits: Growth potential – U.S. stocks have achieved good returns for long stretches of time. Yet, in any given year, markets in other countries can outperform the U.S. – and they have done just that, though you should always, always remember that past performance is not a guarantee of future market performance. By looking beyond our borders, however, you can invest in regions with different prospects for economic growth. In mature economies, such as those found in Western Europe, you can find investment possibilities in companies that produce high-quality, well-known products. Like many of the best American businesses, these foreign companies are likely to remain competitive far into the future – which means they can be attractive to serious, long-term investors.

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Diversification – If you invest entirely in domestic investments, and the U.S. financial markets suffered a downturn, your portfolio would likely take a big hit. But if you spread your investment dollars between both U.S. and international investments, you could lessen the impact of the U.S.-based volatility. The U.S. financial markets do not always move in tandem with global markets, so, when we’re down, they might be up. (Keep in mind, though, that diversification, by itself, can’t guarantee profit or prevent losses.)

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While investing internationally offers some advantages, it also carries some specific risks. Here are a few to consider: Political or economic instability – A quick glance at the headlines can tell you that different parts of the world may be undergoing political or economic turmoil – or both at the same time. This instability can obviously affect the investment outlook within these regions. Fluctuating exchange rates – The exchange rate between U.S. and foreign currencies fluctuates all the time. This movement can decrease or increase the dollar value of your investment even if its actual price remains unchanged.

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Mark: My Words By Mark Gatti / Mark’s Hotdogs Now that I have been in circulation so long, I am always warmed and honoured for things many people would take for granted. For instance, recently a nice lady customer from South Portland stopped by for a fine rolled tube steak. While chatting me up, she shared with me how much her now departed parents enjoyed driving over the bridge from South Portland to have lunch at the stand several times a month. She was greatly heartened when I recounted how much I enjoyed their friendly patronage, and she was especially pleased when I recalled with fondness the particular toppings they enjoyed on their respective “red-snapper” hot dogs. As she was leaving, I thanked her so much for bringing up the memory of her parents’ visits. She left with a tear and a warm smile. Similar meetings just like this happen time and again at the stand and I am reminded how much a food stand, barber shop or local pub serve as ties that bind our communities together. It is a unique and very humbling aspect of this type of job --- and a highlight to me in the knowledge that what I am doing is helping glue together our community in times when there are countless forces trying to tear us apart.

times have I worked in windy rainstorms, snowstorms or sub-freezing days in the last two decades? Hundreds of times! People’s reactions? They may think me as unstable of mind (yes), tough and heroic (liking that), but I always seem to take comfort that the stand is open. Our weather forecasters do as good a job as they can trying to forecast our north Atlantic weather, but when the forecast proves inaccurate, I find myself in almost laughable weather conditions. For example, last Friday’s forecast indicated numerous, but off-and-on, showers in the daytime, with heavy rain overnight, thus a working day for me. Sadly, no sooner had I arrived for work than the rain commenced. And it wasn’t the forecast off-and-on showers, either. By two O’clock it was raining sheets. I wanted to leave at three O’clock but was held hostage under my umbrellas in monsoon conditions. Finally, it abated about 4.30 and I got my waterlogged self home. I have been nicknamed “popsicle Mark” by friends and customers on those cold Canadian air Winter days and learned the meaning of “sympathy sales”. The sympathy food sale on terrible weather days is directly attributed to the kind and sympathetic nature of the myriad of customers from all walks of life who come by the stand. When they see me working on days like this they take mercy on my clearly irrational work decisions and reward me with a purchase and a much-appreciated, albeit quick, conversation. More on happenings at the cart to come next time --- rain or shine. Meanwhile, drop by and see me while the sun still shines, the birds still sing and what’s hopefully shaping up to be a great Fall embraces downtown Portland.

Let’s also talk about the weather. “Weather” or not to work? Even as a youngster, long before a rainy day meant little or no money to be made, I had a more than average interest in the daily weather forecast. Once ensconced in an out- ofdoors food serving business, obviously it became even more important to keep a close weather eye. How little, and conversely how much, I work in inclement weather evolved over time and can be directly correlated to my stage of life. For example, in my early years, before marriage , mortgage and children, if there was even a hint of a passing shower...a stay at the apartment day it was. Or, more correctly, a pub or beach day. In my first three or so years in business I must have missed 15 or 20 stellar Summer days a season with this very ineffective weather observing approach. Throw in a few “old port flu” episodes (always contracted after spending long nights with friends at favourite drinking establishments downtown) and it is easy to see why my savings account wasn’t as burly and bulked up come Winter! Luckily, as I reached my late 20’s, I gained some level of maturity and took a more proactive approach to work. It was great for the bank account working those busy, sunny days I had previously blown off on account of even the slightest potential of a rain cloud on the horizon. Now I have evolved even further in weather deciding to work or not. With the advent of marriage, children, pet bills and college tuition expenses, I little resemble the young character who had a rather cavalier attitude regarding weather days off from work! In all honesty, these days my more aggressive approach to maximising working days in the calendar year has gone too far in the other direction. How many

Up Portland 09.17 In Print * On The Web At: www.upportland.com * On Facebook Page 27


The Standard Reviewer

By Bill Elliott / Up Portland’s Film & Theatre Reviewer

Since his debut as the scene-stealing, failed assassin Mustafa, in Mike Myers’ Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997), Will Ferrell has developed into one of Hollywood’s genuine A-List comic actors, with close to 50 (mostly highly successful) films under his belt. The former Saturday Night Live writer-comedian has become a screen icon, gently poking fun at Middle American values, mores, and social behaviours, turning “normality” into something strangely surreal and absurd. As one interviewer observed in a 2010 article in The Guardian, his characters are “regular guys . . . around whom all [kinds of] craziness happens . . . [Ferrell has] always seen the comic potential of that threatened all-American way of life, of Norman Rockwell idealism, and its proximity to more anarchic urges.” Ferrell’s characters are easily-identifiable Middle American Everymen, and the America they inhabit is a land of lost innocence, where men struggle to grow up, stuck in a perennial high school-like milieu, where popularity and jockeying for position and recognition are the key motivators in life. It is an America that should, perhaps, make many of us feel uncomfortable. Ferrell’s characters straddle an awkward mixture of dim-witted ignorance and alpha male competitiveness. On the one hand, there is a childlike quality to

Ferrell and the characters he inhabits that makes films like Elf popular with children. But there is also something much more menacingly adult behind the sophomoric humour and the blundering incompetence. Ferrell’s characters are often driven by competition and a desire to win. Because the competitive impulse in these characters is so outlandish, they are often pushed into failure and humiliation as a result. From the perspective of psycho-geometrics, a theory and technique of psychological measurement through identification with geometrical shapes, Ferrell’s characters would probably score highly as triangles and squiggles, with a good measure of rectangle thrown in. Triangles are confident alpha males, always wanting to win at any cost. Squiggles are often creative in a childlike way, unpredictable, easily bored, with little sense of responsibility. Rectangles are often confused, curiously questioning, with low self-esteem. While some people score strongly as a single trait, most people are a mixture of different behavioural characteristics. Ferrell’s characters may appear ordinary, or even simple, on the surface. But, bubbling below are many selves struggling for dominance. Ferrell’s characters exhibit many of the qualities of Laurel and Hardy, perhaps the greatest archetypes of the “man-child” in cinema history (they slept in the same bed with no hint of homosexual tendencies; and when they were married to women in films, there was always the sense that they never quite understood adult relationships and the adult world). Even when playing “adult” characters like Ron Burgundy, the accident and gaffe-prone TV news announcer in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004), Ferrell digs deep into his childhood psyche and reverts to type, acting like a spoiled child who is used to getting his own way much of the time. There is a competitiveness to Ferrell’s characters that is also very childlike. Children are conditioned from an early age to compete with their peers in sports, in their academic pursuits, and as part of peer groups. Ferrell’s characters are highly competitive. They want to be perceived as the best, the brightest, and the strongest; as number one in everything. In Blades of Glory (2007), Ferrell plays Chazz Michael Michaels, a talented but testosterone-driven figure skater (and notorious sex addict) who ties for a gold medal at the 2002 World Winter Sport Games with Jimmy MacElroy (Jon Heder), an equally talented but more elegant skater. On the awards podium waiting to receive their medals, the two argue and eventually engage in a fist fight, resulting in both being stripped of their medals and banned from competing in men’s singles skating competitions for life. In Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006), Ferrell plays Bobby, a man who grows up wanting to drive fast and become a famous NASCAR driver. He quickly rises from pit crew member to lead team driver: “I’ve never seen a driver who wants to win more than this guy,” an announcer proclaims during one race. Skidding in the infield dirt, Bobby writes out “I’m # 1” in tire tracks! In Semi-Pro (2008), Ferrell’s character, Jackie Moon, is a former singer who uses the money he made from his only hit record to buy a basketball team, the Flint Tropics. Moon becomes not only the owner, but the team’s head coach, and starting forward. (Interestingly both Talladega Nights and Semi-Pro won ESPY Awards for Best Sports Movie in 2007 and 2008, no mean feat for comedy films).

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In many of Ferrell’s films, his characters live with parents or a single parent, often doing menial jobs to support themselves. Unable (or afraid) to grow up, Ferrell’s characters rely on parents (or parental figures) to guide them through life — or simply pick up after them. After a series of setbacks in Talladega Nights, Ricky moves in with his mom, taking a job as a pizza delivery man. In Step Brothers, Ferrell’s character, Brennan Huff, lives with his divorced mother, Nancy, who dotes on him even though she is concerned about his inability to hold a job or get his life together, despite being 39-years-old.

Audiences may view Ferrell as a purely slapstick comedian, like Chevy Chase (another former cast member of Saturday Night Live), but he is a far more cerebral comedian, closer to Gene Wilder, Steve Martin and Woody Allen, than Chevy Chase. Ferrell may appear to be a nebbish dimwit like many of Woody Allen’s characters, overcoming the odds, pulling one over his rivals, and succeeding, even if more by accident than design. And like Woody Allen, there is always a hint of intellectual absurdity in Ferrell’s humour. In Step Brothers, Brennan’s therapist gives him a list of reasons she finds him personally repulsive and professionally why she can’t date him. He responds, “Is that a line from a poem? Is it James Joyce?” In Talladega Nights, Bobby’s main rival, Jean Girard (Sacha Baron Cohen), an openly gay French Formula One, is seen reading a copy of Albert Camus’s existentialist classic L’Etranger, while driving at 150 miles per hour. Girard’s dream, by the way, is to move to Stockholm and design a currency for use by dogs and cats. Such titbits makes no sense in the context of the films but indicate Ferrell’s Monty Pythonish penchant for using non-sequiturs, absurdist ideas, and intellectual humour in his films.

50 Miles for Milestone 50 years of helping Mainers on the road to recovery

September 9, 2017 A ride to benefit Milestone’s addiction and homeless services

As evidence of Ferrell’s more highbrow and nuanced approach to comedy, witness some of the accolades bestowed on him, such as the James Joyce Award which Dublin’s University College bestowed in 2008 in recognition of “excelling in his field.” (Previous recipients include Noam Chomsky, Harry Potter author J. K. Rowling, the Beatles’ producer George Martin, Monty Python member Michael Palin, and writer Salman Rushdie). Ferrell also received the Mark Twain Prize for American Humour in 2011, which has been awarded by the John F. Kennedy Centre for the Performing Arts annually since 1998. And yet, Ferrell’s films seem to resonate with all audiences, with children and teenagers as much as adults. As an actor and a comedian, he and his films have been nominated for, and won, several Teen Choice Awards and Kids Choice Awards. Ferrell is perhaps the pre-eminent satirist of Middle America—his characters inhabiting many of its dreams, shortcomings, and anxieties. One of his greatest past creations was his nuanced impersonation of George W. Bush. In the current political climate, which has already proven fertile ground for numerous comedians, one wonders what Ferrell might be tempted to contribute.

For more information: www.MilestoneFoundation.org 207-775-4790

While it’s only been a short journey for me as a contributor to Up Portland, my relationship with its publisher, Ted Fleischaker, dates back more than 25 years. I started writing a theatre and movie column (“The Standard Reviewer”) for his Indianapolis papers The Word and UpDowntown in 1992. Ted and I quickly became friends and despite both of us changing geographical locations over the years, our working relationship and friendship has remained a very strong and treasured bond. Some of you may have noticed — how could you not? — that Ted has a preference for British spelling in his publications. That came easily for me as I was born in England! Ted and I share an interest in afternoon tea, as well as a variety of British foodstuffs and British television (the “telly” as they say across the pond).

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Alas, all good things must come to an end and after a quarter of a century of writing for Ted’s various publications — which has been personally enjoyable and professionally enriching — it is time to hang up my pen (or rather, computer keyboard). My friendship will Ted and his husband, Ivan, will continue, of course. And who knows, he may persuade me to write a guest column from time to time, but for now I will say cheerio — and thanks for reading!

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