Up Portland January 2019

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JAN 2019

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Knowledge

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Processed Media By Randy Dankievitch — TV Critic / TVOvermind

The Best TV Shows of 2018 2018 was a strange year for television; the proliferation of original content from streaming networks, combined with the ever-present stream of new shows from traditional cable and broadcast networks, led to over 500 original shows airing over the course of the year. The dearth of original content meant there was no true cultural touchstone for 2018; no Game of Thrones season, no series finales of any major, influential series and no universally acclaimed newcomer able to capture the cultural zeitgeist, even for a moment (like American Vandal did last year). There was a lot of fantastic television in 2018, as you’ll see in the collection of shows below, but there was undeniably too much content in 2018, so many gems buried under the sheer volume of TV released this year. I’ve seen a lot more of it than I’d like to admit, and here are my five favourites of the year: Atlanta: Robbin’ Season (FX) – Atlanta’s growth in its second season can’t be understated; though the latter half of its freshman season certainly suggested the potential of a more surrealist, existential version of Atlanta, just how much the show embraces its darker, weirder tics in season two is an impressive feat. And boy, is it satisfying: Atlanta: Robbin’ Season is experimental, contemplative, and unnervingly honest, displaying a growth and maturity rarely seen in even the best sophomore offerings of prominent series. From musing on the state of modern music, to an episode where Paper Boi gets dragged around Atlanta with his barber, and another episode with a surprisingly deep guest performance from Katt Williams (I’m not joking), Atlanta’s versatility for both engaging storytelling and powerful societal reflections is unparalleled on television. Plus, it offered us “Teddy Perkins”, perhaps the single most unsettling, disturbing half-hour of television in 2018; a devastating reflection on the nature of celebrity, talent, and pain. Barry (HBO) – Bill Hader’s show about an assassin trying to reinvent himself as an actor is a deceptively genius series, a dark comedy with a penchant for bursts of violence, and even more explosive moments of self-reflection. Through its eight episode first season, Barry slowly transforms itself from Prestige Television Mad Libs into a story of depression and the fractured identity it causes a person. Of course, Barry’s titular character is a talented killer, a bad person whom the show holds no punches in challenging – but unlike something like Breaking Bad’s final season, understands there’s no reward in one-dimensionality. Barry might be a terrible person, but his attempts to contend with that gives Barry a subtle complexity that rewards viewers who remain engaged with the show’s lighter elements, which include some hilarious Chechan gangsters, and another strong supporting performance from Henry Winkler (who really has enjoyed quite the career revival since his run on Arrested Development). There were over 200 new shows that debuted in 2018; to be honest, there are few I’m more excited to see return In 2019 than Barry.

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Big Mouth (Netflix) – Big Mouth is my personal pick for the best show of 2018; Please Continue On The Next Page

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Processed Media By Randy Dankievitch — Continued From Page Three its second season is perhaps the greatest reflection on puberty ever seen on television, reaching the emotional heights of something like Freaks and Geeks with some of the most juvenile punchlines on television. Yes, Big Mouth is an endless series of creative boner jokes and constant references to bodily fluids; but it is also the most responsible, nuanced depiction of puberty I’ve ever watched --- not something you’d expect to hear from a show with hormone monsters and a Shame Wizard. Led by powerhouse vocal performances from Nick Kroll, Maya Rudolph, and John Mulaney, and Jessi Klein, Big Mouth’s second season tackles everything from sexuality to body positivity, to an entire episode dedicated to Planned Parenthood (which features the best usage of Dee-Lite’s Groove Is in the Heart you’ll ever hear) – there’s nothing too complex or audacious for Big Mouth to build a joke or story around, and it is truly something to experience. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (FOX/NBC) – Brooklyn Nine-Nine reached the coveted 100-episode plateau in 2018 during its 5th season; and unlike so many shows that have limped creatively to the century mark, continued to be television’s most consistently funny, heartwarming network comedy. Story lines like Rosa’s bisexuality, Holt’s campaign for police commissioner, and Charles’ attempts to

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become an entrepreneur proved B99 still had stories to tell, even if still took the time to indulge audiences with the central romance of Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago (a story that continues to work despite itself, in one of the most romantically satisfying arcs in recent memory). Equally funny and poignant, Brooklyn Nine Nine’s never-ending optimism was rewarded by the powers that be at FOX with an abrupt cancellation – itself a blessing in disguise, which allowed the series to move back to NBC, the network which approved the original pilot script for production back in 2013 (before surprisingly deciding not to pick it up). Not only does that ensure television’s most heartwarming show will live on in 2019, it also guarantees we’ll get to see how Dan Goor and the writers of Brooklyn unwind themselves from the daring cliffhanger they closed season five with. Killing Eve (BBC America) – It’s no surprise the latest creation from the creator and star of BBC’s Fleabag (my favourite series of 2016) makes my list this year. An adaptation of Luke Jennings’s Codename Villanelle series, Killing Eve is a fascinating bit of television: equal parts witty, brutal, and devastatingly human – and a fascinating female-led twist on spy dramas, a story of an assassin and a federal agent (played masterfully by Sandra Oh) hunting her become undeniably obsessed with the cat and mouse game being played between them. Unabashedly unique, and featuring a truly awesome narrative climax, Killing Eve fills the Hannibal-sized hole in my heart for shows about people who kill a lot of other people. Like Barry, the other show about moody assassins, I can’t wait to see where Killing Eve goes in its second season in 2019, and if it’s able to recapture the kinetic energy of these first eight episodes.

Honourable Mentions: The Americans, The Terror, American Vandal, GLOW, The Good Place and BoJack Horseman. Happy New Year!

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Hackin’ The Net By Ted Fleischaker / Publisher

phrase. Another uses a quote from Winston Churchill. Whatever you can remember and a hacker can’t or won’t discover will do just fine, thank you. One other word before I move on: Don’t lose that phrase or you will be up the proverbial creek. Write it down and stick it somewhere far, far away from your computer, but where you will know to look if you need to do so. Oh, and finally, do not use the same password or phrase on numerous accounts. If someone somehow does figure it out on say your bank account, they can also get your brokerage account, pharmacy records and more if you used the same thing. Trust me: hackers will stop at nothing!

There are a couple tunes from the just-ended holiday season that come to mind as I write this January computer column... Maybe Auld Lang Syne. Or perhaps That Most Wonderful Time of the Year. Why those? Because this is the time of year when a combination of a new calendar, together with a lot of folks trying to sort out the new gear they got for gifts, combines with a general sense of “OMG” and it all adds up to a picnic for those who are out to steal your identity, scam you or cheat you out of your gifts and money, so do read on. First off, that new calendar year. That’s when a lot of companies, banks and other organisations want you to let auld acquaintance be forgot in the form of your passwords. That means it’s time for the absolutely horrendous and arduous task (for most of us) of selecting new ones so we can, indeed, forget the old ones --- you know, the ones you have been using for months or maybe even longer (shame on you!) Yes, indeed. That dreaded pop-up will show when you log into your bank account, broker’s statement or myriad other things online any day now, if it has not already... that pop-up which either says you must update or change your log-in info or flatly that your password or log-in “has expired.” In either case, if you are like me, you grit your teeth, ask yourself why this has to happen and do all you can to avoid facing the certainty of doing what’s demanded.

OK, so next, let’s say congrats to those of you who got a new device under the tree or by the menorah. Whether it’s a phone, tablet or computer, you will need to master it and also, if you are replacing an old one, to get your data from the old to the new. That means I say what I always do in this position: Back up. You need to back up your data, either to another device (like to your computer from your phone if you got a new phone) or to the cloud. It does not matter to and from where, just so long as you do it. That will mean the final photo you ever took of Keith and Aunt Lucille won’t be lost if something goes wrong. Or that bank account will still work so you can get your balance.

I will admit right away that I do “get it” and understand the need to update passwords every so often. It’s because every day when you pick up the paper or watch the news, it seems that this or that entity you thought you could trust has somehow been hacked, revealing thousands (or millions) of folks’ information. And guess what? Those are not always “the other guy’s” details. I was recently shocked when one of my cards called to ask had I bought things ranging from a baby crib to a gun safe the day before. I was lucky the card keeps a “watch” on accounts so they caught the issue well before I could have known. Likely, I will never know what place I used the card (in real life or online) got hacked, but it’s clear someone did. And to make matters worse, while I got refunded for the stuff I did not buy, want nor get, somewhere, someone had to pay if it actually was delivered or picked up... and that “someone” is indirectly you or I when companies try to recover their losses to hackers. So, with that long prelude, what to do? In a word: Comply. Do change your password or your user name or both as directed. And use common sense. Much as you think they won’t, hackers troll social media so they can easily find your pet’s name since you posted a cute photo of him or her under the tree last month, didn’t you? And the obvious things like your birthday are also out there. It amazes us how many folks use the word “password” for their password or, if numbers are needed they add the year so “password2019”. Have I guessed your new password yet? So we consulted a few experts and what they told us is not to have a passWORD at all, but a passPHRASE. Sure, go on and add that $ or £ or 92 after or before it and cap a few letters to comply with the silly rules, but go with something you like, but which would be hard for anyone to guess. Example: one of our friends has a line from Gone With The Wind as his pass

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Second, a new device means a good time to house clean. Think of it as that fresh lined tablet mom bought you every year before school started. Or Spring cleaning. In any case, it’s a great time to get rid of “stuff” you never use and don’t know why is taking up storage space. If you have an app you used on a cruise ship in June that doesn’t work on dry land, delete it! Got five different radio apps which play the same stations you never listen to? They are outta here. Years old e-mails from jobs long past and flight numbers for planes you took in 2015? Gone! You get my drift. All those seemingly innocuous things (as I got, as the photo at left clearly shows!) use storage space and will carry on doing same if you allow them to be copied over. Look at what you use, need and want, then rid yourself of the remainder. To quote Hyacinth Bucket from the old BBC comedy Keeping Up Appearances, “It is so therapeutic!” It also will save space for new apps, games and photos, so jettison the baggage!


The other scheme (see the photo above) involves a faked e-mail from “App Store” claiming you have a gift card balance. Next, if the device you are moving to is either a different make or vastly updated model, consider a class or some instruction. There are a lot of folks out there who offer tech help and set-up assistance, so it might be good to call on one of them. If you are using Apple gear, then the Apple stores each have a “Today at Apple” programme (see above) you might want to try. Find out more at https:// support.apple.com where they will offer some online, phone and other support, as well as list of what classes are on what days and times at the local store. Best of all, every bit of it (including the classes) is free.

You don’t, of course, but if you follow their fake link, you will be giving crooks your Apple ID and password, which they can then use to take any funds you do have in your account, and steal from the credit card you used to set up the account in the first place. Just hit delete if you get one of these, and remember things which seem too good to be true always are just that.

Failing the above, check with your family “tech guru.” Every household we know of has one of these fine folks somewhere. Either Aunt Doris’ daughter Jen or Ivan next door or someone who seems to always have a line on what to do and how to make something work. You do have one somewhere you know of, don’t you? And finally on this topic, when you bid farewell to your old device --- be it a phone, computer or tablet --- recycle. No, don’t toss it in the bin out front... check with the maker and see what they will do or offer. A friend updated his iPad and Apple, using the serial number and info he gave them said if he’d send it in, they’d give him a “trade-in” gift card for $375, which was half what he needed for that watch he wanted. They even, after saying what they’d give, sent a box, a label and made sure he had packed and shipped it with periodic e-mails. If your device is another make, check with the maker or the shop which sells them. And remember, even if there’s no trade in value for something so old it’s grown hair, recycle it either thru a store or at the Portland recycling centre on Warren Avenue. Not only is there a lot of valuable “stuff” in there to be reclaimed, but tossing it in the trash sends those battery chemicals, heavy metals and worse into the landfill or water supply. And lastly, with the coming of a new year come (you guessed it) frauds. Two we recently heard of both involve Apple. In one case you are asked to “shop” the local Apple store by “corporate” to tell them about the service. You are sent a cheque for some amount, then told to buy Apple gift cards for a lesser amount, e-mail the numbers to “corporate” and cash the cheque, keeping the overage for your “trouble”. Trouble is there is no “corporate” doing this, so if you follow directions, they have (and cash in) the gift card numbers, and you have a worthless cheque you will get dinged for by your bank.

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Beyond The Forecast

By Jack Sillin / Weatherman & Meterology Student Hello everyone!

Forecast verification is a huge part of what we do as weather forecasters. Despite popular belief, we’re not “paid to be wrong half the time” and advances in technology make “six inches of partly cloudy” days extremely rare now. But no one can improve if they don’t get constructive criticism, so forecasters spend plenty of time looking in the rearview mirror to see how well we did, and if the mistakes we did make could be avoided in the future. Like most forecasters, my verification process is mostly behind the scenes. If you happen to follow me on twitter, you’ll see some glimpses of it from time to time, but it’s hard to carve out time to really dig deeply into past events and recreate them in a coherent way for a blog post to then compare to the forecast. Because verification is such an important, and often behind the scenes process, I want to take this month’s column to do a little retrospective work on one of my

forecasts you may have seen recently. Last month I took a look at the long range forecast, offering my thoughts on what to expect for the month of December. So how did I do? The accompanying graph shows the high and low temps for each day of the month at the Portland Jetport along with little boxes I added to show approximate precipitation types and amounts. Overall, the December forecast turned out pretty well! The short-range forecast of warmth and rain for the first three days of the month verified, with a high of 53 on the third and a little over three quarters of an inch of rain on the second. The medium-range forecast of colder temps for the 4th to the 10th verified as well with temps dipping below normal during that time. The cold did stick around a little longer than I thought though, with below normal temps ending on the 14th instead of my prediction of the 10th. As for the storms, I didn’t do so well. The storm on the 5th didn’t get going until it was well out to sea, and the storm on the 9th hit North Carolina with two feet of snow instead of us in Maine. Picking up on the development of a storm ten days out and being a few hundred miles off in its location actually is pretty good from a scientific standpoint, but of course isn’t so helpful to end users. Moving later into the month, the promised warmth was delayed, but it did come eventually, with a temperature of 50 on the 15th. The storm promised for that day was a little late, but did arrive on the 17th with .53” of liquid falling at the Jetport. Unfortunately for my forecast though, that precip fell in the form of snow during a time I was expecting rain. Oops! The mild weather relaxed briefly in the wake of that system, but returned in full force for the winter solstice. We got over an inch of rain on the 21st as temps soared into the mid 50’s. I had expected that system to arrive on the 22nd, so it ended up being a day early. Temps after that system cooled off a bit, remaining only slightly above normal through the 26th. I’m writing this on the 27th, so I don’t have the data for the last few days of December to verify the last part of my forecast, but here’s how it’s looking as of now. The storm promised for 12/28 will arrive right on schedule, but sadly won’t be of the large Nor’easter variety. An initial burst of snow looks to change over to an icy mix then rain along the coast. (It did! --- editor) Temps will again spike up above average, making it very unlikely that my forecast of a late-month return to cold will verify. Just like the arrival of the warmth was delayed a few days, it

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seems as though its departure will be as well. The storm I mentioned for the 30th looks to be a few days late, too, probably arriving New Year’s Day, and may feature either rain or snow, or a mix of both. All in all, the December outlook was decently successful. The large scale trends mostly materialised even if the details were slightly off. The same goes for storm threats, which mostly showed up --- even if a day or two early/late. That said, of course there’s always room for improvement in this business. Even the medium range storm threats for 12/5 and 12/9 were forecast pretty poorly, with the first system moving out to sea, and the second missing to the south. The four day delay in the onset of the mid-month warmth wasn’t ideal, but wasn’t terrible either. The weakest part of the forecast was definitely the late month reversion back to colder and stormier weather, which looks shaky at best. Such is the nature of long range forecasting, you can hope to get the large scale basics down, but specifics can sometimes become very tricky, very fast! Hopefully these past couple columns, both last month’s detailing of the forecast pattern and this month’s review of it help to show that weather forecasting is indeed fairly accurate (and trust me, there are plenty of folks who can do it way better than I can!), and large scale patterns can be picked out several weeks in advance. However, even with the latest in long-range advances, we still can’t give you specific storm forecasts past five to seven days out. Some of the systems I picked out as being rainy ended up snowy (the 17th) and some which I thought would be more wintry are looking more wet (the 28th). Those could have panned out much differently with a 100 mile shift in track one way or the other, but there’s no way of picking up on nuances like that more than a few days out.

Jack’s Weather Terms SSWE - Sudden Stratospheric Warming Event: At its most basic level, SSWE’s are fairly self-explanatory. They occur when the temperature of the stratosphere increases rapidly. However, these events are actually super complex and can be pretty extreme! In fact, one just occurred at the end of December as temps at around 100,000 feet warmed 150F in just four days. That’s a lot of energy! Some SSWE’s are so powerful that they reverse the jet stream at those altitudes, turning westerly winds into easterly winds. So what causes SSWE’s? There’s no definite answer to that question yet, but the basic idea is that some of the heat transported northward by strong storms in the troposphere (that’s the lowest layer of the atmosphere where our weather happens) gets deflected upwards in the form of Eddy Heat Fluxes. Under the right conditions, these fluxes can resonate constructively, eventually getting enough amplitude to burst into the stratosphere where they unleash their warmth. Sometimes when an SSWE is strong enough to reverse the stratospheric jet stream, the effects can propagate back downward into the troposphere. That process is not very well understood yet, but we know that the net result can be more high latitude high pressure systems, which tend to result in more cold and snow down here at the surface in Maine. The last time we had a major SSWE was February 2018. Remember what happened next? We had four consecutive major Nor’easters in March! All of those storms were exceptionally strong and slow moving due to high latitude blocking.

What could I have done better? That’s a really hard question to answer. I’m not entirely sure if there was something I could’ve picked up on back in November to signal that the mid-month cold would hang on a little longer, and the subsequent warmth would as well. I think I should’ve recognised the potential for a standing wave MJO event. The MJO is an area of enhanced upward motion that fuels extra thunderstorm activity. Usually it’s a wave that propagates eastward with time. It was forecast to move from the Indian Ocean to the Maritime Continent, bringing us the warmer weather for mid December. That did indeed happen, but I expected the wave to keep on moving into the Pacific after Christmas, which would favour a colder pattern. Instead, it got stuck in a standing wave configuration, which is probably the culprit for the warm weather sticking around a little longer. If I had seen that coming, I would’ve been able to avoid the only really weak part of the outlook, which was my call for a colder and stormier late December. Inertia in the MJO probably would also help to explain the delay in the onset of the warmth as the transition from phase three to phase five was delayed a few days. Let this be a lesson: A (cluster of tropical thunderstorms) at rest tends to stay at rest! I’ll be back next month with more weather! -Jack (EDITOR’S NOTE---This is Jack’s 36th column --- so three years --- for Up Portland. We are appreciative to have this wonderful writer be a part of the paper, almost since our start. We hope our readers agree!)

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Layne’s Wine Time

Layne V. Witherell / Up Portland Wine Critic

THE SUNDAY BRUNCH I am sure that all of you are familiar with that classic country song “I’m so hungover, I think I’m gonna die “ Sunday Brunch can either be a very low rent event with the hope of elevating you to something just a little better, or a glorious celebration of the fact that it is a day that you can do whatever you want. TOMASSO’S CANTEEN, 18 Hampshire St, Portland. This is the real deal locals bar in the age of gentrification. “Compact, down to earth neighbourhood bar”. After sliding up to the bar and sitting next to the old timers in their vintage Carharts and weathered watch caps, nursing Nasty Gansets and shot glasses filled with unidentifiable brown liquids, your Nor’easter of a hangover hopefully, is beginning to subside. Their hash is a golden grease-laden goo of life-saving comfort that you can accompany with a glass of Porta 6 red wine right out of the spigot from the three Litre box on the bar.

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At $5 for a large glass, this easy going red from Portugal is nectar, when consumed beside the hot, steaming hash. You could say “hey, this is a delightful blend of 50% Aragones, 40% Castelao and 10% Touriga National grapes”, but then it wouldn’t be Tomasso’s, now would it? Damn, it tastes just like a French Beaujolais. Could I get a coozy with that? CHAVAL, 58 Pine Street, Portland. For hungover Sunday, I enjoy their breakfast buns (or avocado toast for the hipster set). Their beverages of electricity are their superb selection of that forgotten beverage --- Spanish Sherry. They are a Spanish restaurant, after all. When was the last time you had a rare “Palo Cortado” (Gonzalez Byass), $7 a glass? “Nobody fully understands its origin” (Sherry Institute). The cellar masters must root through casks to find this rare and delicious sherry. Dry? Sweet? Unctuous? All at the same time. You can sit at their fancy bar, wearing your best flamenco hat, while transporting yourself in your mind to the Plaza de Toros in Sevilla. You could bring along that culinary masterpiece Adventures in Taste: The Wines and Folk Foods of Spain by D.E.Pohren, the 1972 edition. Required reading is the author’s preface, which states flatly: “I must confess that on occasion, one or another of my organs has had cause for open rebellion. Spokesman for the group is my liver, who familiarly calls me “boss” and who is not above the most outspoken criticism when it feels it is being abused.” Cool Sunday. PETITE JACQUELINE, 46 Market St., Old Port, Portland. This is where you go after you open your Saturday mail and discover that your 401K just took off in value. It isn’t an expensive place, unless you want it to be, after spending Saturday nite genuflecting over your newfound riches.

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Traitor’s Eggs (poached eggs, Maine lobster, Hollandaise sauce, spinach on English muffin) $24 is my idea for a dish to celebrate the event. Lobster over the top of perfect sauce and gooey eggs deserves special accompaniment. Time for the wine: this is one of the great small French wine list creations you are likely to encounter. It shows care, thought and precision. The hard part is to not get a terrific wine from this list. “The French didn’t invent wine, they just perfected it” (me). Since you are in a celebratory mood, we can bag the idea of wines by the glass and head directly to bottles (by the way, bring friends). Nicolas Potel Macon --- Villages (chardonnay), 2013, $38 bottle. Good introduction to the white wine of the Burgundy region. No oak, light, crisp with a bit of minerals in its flavour. Like a magician showing you a simple magic trick. Good with the dish. Albert Bichot Montagny (1st Cru) (chardonnay), 2014, $60. You have just moved a step up from Macon. The flavours are more defined, the vineyards are better placed. Better with the dish. Matrot Meursault (chardonnay), 2016, $90. Burgundy is defined by place name and producer --- paying attention to both won’t save you money (cummon, they are expensive), but if you do your Burgundian due diligence, you can get a much better bottle for the same bucks. The wine brings the flavours of almonds, apples, butter, citrus and hazelnuts, with your lobster and Hollandaise sauce crying all over the plate in a fit of glorious ecstasy. Give it another five years of bottle age and you won’t be able to crawl out of the restaurant due to your wine induced emotional fatigue. (NOTE: I do wish that they would put that astonishing Bourgogne Blanc by Matrot back as a glass pour. Best $11 bucks spent. Just saying.)

2019 Winter Lecture Series Jan. 26 - Herb Adams presents

Digging up the War of 1812

focusing on 21 POWs buried on the Eastern Prom Please join us -1:30 in Glickman Library 103 at the Cohen Center in the Osher Map Library next to USM Wishcamper Center. Use Wishcamper parking lot. More lectures coming up:

• Saturday, February 23 - An Employment for the Fingers: The Hair Work Craze of the Nineteenth Century with Elizabeth DeWolf. • Saturday, March 30 - The 1849 Augustus King Riots on Munjoy Hill with Tim Gillis. Sponsored by Spirits Alive at Eastern Cemetery - donations at the door More info at spiritsalive.org

If your guests want a bit less intense wine brunch experience, you can tone it down a notch. Eugene Meyer Pinot Blanc, Alsace, 2016, $35. Pinot blanc from Alsace is both dry and a little quieter than the Burgundies. They are crisp, delicate and soothing and act as a palate cleanser to both lobster and sauce since there is no Freudian obsession with the flavour of earth here as exists in Burgundy. Just in case someone wants a duck confit crepe ($13), there is the M. Chapoutier Cotes du Rhone by the glass at $9. It is mostly grenache grapes and is totally juicy, delicious, cool weather warming wine. The grenache is one of the most user-friendly grapes with duck confit. FYI: they have the iconic IPA Maine Beer Co. Lunch on tap continuously, for the beer geek in your life. Aside from our 401K thank you brunch, we have attended several of their special regional food and wine pairing dinners. They are awesome. (EDITORS NOTE: Layne is a professional in the wine business with over 30 years of experience. He can be reached at lvwitherell@gmail.com for talks and consulting. His website is http://winemaniacs.wordpress.com/. He will be doing wine events at Port City Blue 650 A Congress St. “Layne’s Wine Gig” is a tasting, rollicking standup beginning 8th February from 4.30 to 5.30 p.m. Every 2nd Friday of the month. There will be merch. Call them at 774-4111 for info.)

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Food For Thought... The holidays are past. The last of the days of running to and fro are done for another year. It’s the days my late mom used to call “buckle down time,” since any and every excuse we had in November and December not to get our school or other work done was now clearly visible in our rear view mirrors. In addition to a time to buckle down, this is also a time for comfort food. I know, I know... too many of you are wildly searching for a gym to go to, and for maybe a month you actually will. But let’s face it: Intentions aside, January in Maine is cold, snowy and a time to buckle down at work and (as a late friend in the Midwest used to say) to “get down” afterward. But what about in between? We’d recommend one of the real comfort food spots Portland seems to have hidden right in plain sight. These are often not those spots which the national magazines write up. They are, however, the places we locals go on cold days and dark, frigid nights. The warm, welcoming kind where you can almost feel the coziness and warmth coming out the door to greet you. We have a few we want to mention, after we say some of the big names are also cozy this time of year. We can think of few spots more so than Hot Suppa, with their warm dining room, great grits and hearty meals. And we have written many times about the Pat’s Pizza’s and Little Tap House’s French Onion Soups. There’s absolutely nothing as warming on a really frigid day as a nice bowl of this concoction... and in our view Pat’s and Tap House have two of the very best, but there are also great Onion Soups at the Broad Arrow Tavern at Harraseeket Inn in Freeport (Along with 23 fireplaces... how’s that for cozy?) and when it makes the specials, the Miss Portland Diner does a good one, too.

Above, Miss Portland’s Turkey Dinner & below, the D

I am not saying onion is the only soup, but for us, when it comes to Winter it tops our list, which includes tomato (served with a grilled cheese) and Vegetable (so long as they leave out the butter beans --- I never did have a taste for those monsters!) But what about a whole comfort food meal? They seem to come out of the woodwork this time of year, so make January the month you try one you have never eaten before. I mentioned Miss Portland, our historic 1949 Worcester diner down on Marginal Way. They are so into comfort foods that they have an entire area of their menu just devoted to them. It’s here you will find Baked Macaroni & Cheese, a Chicken Pot Pie (house-made with white meat chicken and vegetables and a puff pastry top), as well as a HouseRoasted Turkey Dinner (served with stuffing, mashed potato, vegetable, cranberry sauce and pan gravy). They also offer a Meatloaf Dinner, Pot Roast Dinner and a Steak Dinner. What could be more cozy and warming than one of those on a blustery Portland day? The other diners in town are also

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Diner in a snowstorm.

dens of coziness. Stop and have a hearty breakfast at SoPo’s Q Street (9 Q Street, where else?) or grab a meal at Free Street’s Marcy’s or the waterfront’s Becky’s. Not much can compare with a diner for good, hearty mid-Winter fare, but be sure you check ahead as they all have differing hours on different days and it’s not always easy to remember who is open when. Other cozy spots we like include Big Sky Bakery at 536 Deering Avenue, where the old firehouse (complete with a pole, though you can’t slide down it) serves some wonderful soups, and to go along is some of the best bread in Portland. There’s also a Turkey Club and a lot of traditional choices. It’s a wonderful spot to spend a few hours of a non-work day and has a neighbourhood vibe few places do. And let’s not forget one which always makes me feel cozy in any season (and one which always seems to get headlines from the “big guys” who review): Duckfat, over at Middle and India streets.

A treat from Two Fat Cats Bakery

We happen to enjoy their BGT panini sandwich a lot. Consisting of bacon, Fern Hill Farm goat cheese and fresh tomato, we don’t think there’s much better comfort food anywhere. But friends adore Duckfat’s take on the Canadian dish, Poutine (their Belgian fries topped with local cheese curd, duck gravy and fresh chives). They do also offer daily soups (including a Cream of Tomato Fennel topped with grilled cheese croutons) and to drink, while they are known for their shakes and they have a full beer and more menu, I love their traditional All Maine Tonic, which includes honey, Maine Maple Syrup and a great sparkling water topper. Try one! Some other suggestions for food this time of year... a lot of spots add traditional comfort dishes to their Winter menus. Ninety Nine (the Portland one is long gone, but they are not far on Maine Route 111 at 444 Alfred Street in Biddeford and north of us in Topsham Fair just off 295) has a Short Rib Pot Pie on their Winter specials, along with a New England Herb-seasoned scallops.

15 Middle Street - Portland Home Furnishings & Gifts

www.lemonzesthome.com @lemonzesthome

And Clayton’s Cafe on U.S. 1 in Yarmouth has some awesome (they change daily) soups, along with grilled sandwiches, including a Chesapeake Crab Cake one we are quite fond of. There’s also the Maine Diner in Wells, which serve up a fantastic Lobster Pie all year long... and this time of year Please Continue On The Next Page

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Be Sure To Tell Them You Saw


More Food For Thought... with the tourists away, we locals can even get in the door. And do not think seasonal has to be whole meals. Drop by at Two Fat Cats Bakery for a warm-from-the-oven pie or one of their Pot Pies. The meat is cooked in house and those include Pearl Onions in their veggie mix, which this reviewer adores about as much as he hates beans. Or visit Union Bagel on Cumberland Avenue for one of their breakfast sandwiches or to pick up a dozen of what this reviewer feels are to town’s best Everything Bagels. Take those home and toast them with butter and maybe a tomato soup as you watch the snow fall.

The Worcester Dining Car At Miss Portland

There is also C Salt, the relatively new (2014) gourmet market and bakery at 349 Ocean House Rd, Cape Elizabeth, we wrote about previously. Their website

Maine Jewish Museum

Opening Reception: Thursday, January 10, 2019 5pm-7pm (Snow Date: Sunday, January 13, 2019 2pm-4pm)

Exhibition: January 10, 2019 to March 1, 2019 First Friday Art Walk: February 1, 2019 & March 1, 2019 5pm-8pm

Habitats, Inhabitants Jane Banquer Fineberg Family Community Room

Extracts

Ilana Welch Third Floor Sanctuary

Oh, So It’s You Again Berri Kramer Spiegel Gallery

Maine Jewish Museum

267 Congress Street, Portland, ME 04101 (207) 773-2339 Monday - Friday 10am-4pm + Sundays 1pm - 5pm or by appointment mainejewishmuseum.org Nancy Davidson, Curator in Residence

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promises, “C Salt Gourmet Market is about making the most of life in this beautiful, coastal Maine town. Our baked goods are made in house, our sandwiches and salads are made to order, and our extensive selection of wines, beers, snack foods, candies and gifts make it easy to put together dinner, picnic or hostess gift on the go.” So far we have only had the English Muffins and they are indeed as wonderful as advertised. One of those toasted with some jam (maybe from Stonewall Kitchen?) and Cabot Butter (from their store on Commercial Street) and there’s no way you will be chilled, no matter how cold the breezes off Casco Bay. Finally, do not forget coffee. We are huge fans of not only the coffees at Coffee By Design, but they are back to offering those awesome Cinnamon Rolls from Baker’s Bench in Westbrook. You can also find those at the bakery itself and Pat’s Meat Market also has them, but arrive early as they fly out the door everywhere!

Duckfat’s BGT Sandwich

So there you have it. A few tips for eating and relaxing as we all take a deep breath after the holidays and prepare to buckle down. Just remember, there’s plenty of time for school or work, so make some for good food while the snow flies. You can always get a bike, kayak, do a stand-up paddleboard or go to that gym in the warmer months. Enjoy January!

The Counter @ SoPo’s Q Street Diner Up Portland 01.19 In Print * On The Web At: www.upportland.com * On Facebook Page 15


In Pursuit Of Evolution Jesse Herrick / Evolution Laser Studio (EDITOR’S NOTE---Since Up Portland began, we have had a column written by Portland gym owner Eric Hilton and his staff. Sadly, Eric announced a few weeks ago that he had closed his Optimal Self facility and is headed west for a new home and new challenges. Happily, our friend Jesse Herrick recently opened a new business in Maine and it took less than no persuasion to convince Jess to join us and provide our new outlook on life column. Welcome to this, his first column, and to Eric, all the best in your new challenge!)

constant change. This journey has been odd, with the ups and downs impressively violent and seemingly completely out of my hands at times. I am California born, Maine raised, have 15 years of seeing the world, and then full circle back to Maine again with my beautiful four-legged daughter Sadie (a nine-year-old pit bull mix) in tow. When I left California, I was accustomed to socialising in the “Wolf of Wall Street” circles. I saw the world in black and white. A selfish, capitalist mindset was standard, and self confidence had perhaps expanded too far into arrogance and being straight up cocky. Enter The Academy and the beginning of the recalibration. Never having been a frat boy, somewhere along the way I had morphed into something not far from the stereotypical version of such. Shameful. The Academy is a local Jiu Jitsu school where everyone checks their egos at the door - I dare you to get on the mat still holding onto one. In a matter of minutes I had found a spot where I could give my all and still get my ass handed to me, but respectfully and without degradation. Humbling. In a matter of days I had found a new way to get out pent up stresses only exercise and meditation are said to cure. Zen. In a matter of months I had begun to regain my footing in my new environment and see the people around me for who they were; a motley crew from all walks of life who I would never have met (or cared to meet) in any other life situation on my previous path. What a pretentious dick. In a matter of years, I had a new family. Those who I have met there, and never would have met otherwise, are some of my closest friends today. A group of individuals I could call on for anything without concern of denial or judgment (and have), and I would be there for them should the situation be reversed. I reconnected with one of my closest friends from childhood, and as a result he is now passing on this way of life at his school, Stonecoast Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for Kids. I wish I’d had this perspective, training and outlet earlier in life.

I am constantly evolving, or that’s what I tell myself, anyway, as I feel that’s at least vaguely representative of forward progress. From the outside looking in however, some may say my effort looks more like an attempt at drunkenly running up a water slide. Turns out evolution isn’t easy and life is hard. My name’s Jesse Herrick. I’ve worked for the most elite government engineering agencies, and I’ve been in a cage fight. I’ve raised over $1.5 billion for clean energy companies, yet been kicked out of bars. I’ve been published in Business Week and Forbes, but have quite literally bled all over a trading floor. I’ve been the CFO of a publicly traded company, and I’ve worked on docks salting fish. I’ve taught graduate-level engineering courses, yet thought it was a good idea to jump out of a perfectly good airplane. I was an actual rocket scientist, but covered it up with poor behaviour and tattoos. I’ve been married, and I’ve been divorced. I’ve had moments of complete purpose, and I’ve been king of the existential crisis. I’ve laughed so hard I cried, and I’ve cried so hard I’ve drooled. Curiosity, boredom, new challenges, striving for self-improvement, a few solid kicks in the teeth (literally and figuratively) and seeking purpose has driven

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Call it a plug if you will, but I call it sound advice from someone who has seen a lot and tried it all; if you or your children aren’t at The Academy or Stonecoast already, you or they should be. Such places of acceptance and recalibration should be societal requirements, just as grade school has become. Fast forward through a poisonous divorce, a few injuries that kept things rated G on the athletics front, and some lyme disease for good measure, it was time to pull a phoenix and start something new. It was time to build something with an evolved perspective. Evolution Laser Studio (formerly Evolution Tattoo Removal) was born on the premise of not being a dick. Aesthetics is a massive industry and without sugarcoating it, it is corrupt. Overcharging and playing off insecurities are commonplace. The more insecure, the bigger the bill can be. It was time for a paradigm shift. Ring up some top-notch lasers, undercut the competition by more than half, and off to the races. But that didn’t cut it. Before the lasers even arrived it was time to figure out how to use them for something besides the pursuit of pretty. Right out of the gates we went to work chipping away with our lasers at an iron cross, a stark symbol of white supremacy and bigotry. Black and white thinking made me almost deny the job. I didn’t want someone with those beliefs in my place of business. Then I reflected on the motley crew of individuals I had previously misjudged and had come to call my friends, and

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struggled forward begrudgingly open-minded(ish). When I opened the doors and we began the job, I met a man who was the opposite of what I had expected. Someone who had changed. Someone who had evolved. Someone who had no hate in him, just a sordid past and a desire to rise above. He was kind, compassionate and cared for those who touched his life. He is now a friendly face who stops by the shop to say hello and from time to time secretly pays for removal sessions for friends who are in the same position he was a few short months ago. This journey of opening my eyes and seeing the world through a different lens has perhaps taken longer than it should have, but it is in now in motion. Black and white thinking turned to navigating the grey, turned to optimism. I was hooked. Project Evolve was born.

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The Standard Reviewer

By Andrea Rouda / Up Portland’s Film & Theatre Reviewer

Let’s Stay Home, What’s On TV? The other day at the supermarket I overheard the stringy-haired checkout girl say to the bag girl with acne, “Kim Kardashian is my idol. I wish I could be her.” The bag girl answered, “Me too. Real life sucks.” That bag girl was right. We can all agree that these are trying times. Antidepressant use is surging, with a reported 15.5 million Americans on one or another of the medications. I personally don’t take any but it’s not because I don’t need them. Instead I rely on a giant, electronic upper that sits in the middle of my living room: my TV. Reruns of old sitcoms -- Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, Frasier, The King of Queens – always work to calm me down, lift my spirits and make me laugh.

sociopath assassin (Jodie Comer) who had a ball doing it, basically laughing all the way to the bank. In fact, seeing her cold-hearted reaction to murdering strangers for reasons completely unknown to her is even more disturbing than the very acts themselves. While I did not enjoy watching this scripted mayhem, all the reviews of the show promised I would. One critic called it “delicious fun,” while another said it was “an intelligent spy-thriller and captivating good time.” The fans love it, so now it’s on to Season 2. If insomnia is already a problem for you, I beg you to pass on this one. And if it isn’t, it will be after you watch a few of these. Homecoming --- It’s hard to remember back when the only thing you got from Amazon was books. Now it’s anything and everything, from Pepperidge Farm cookies to, well, to anything. One of those anythings is a 10-part TV series called Homecoming, which my husband and I devoured in two nights one weekend. We started it on a Friday night, thinking we would watch maybe two or three of the 30-minute episodes. We watched five, saving the rest for the next night. We could hardly wait. This offering from Amazon Prime Video (you have to be a member) is, in a word, great. It stars Julia Roberts who I normally find sickeningly-sweet, but here she is just right as a half-crazed psychotherapist named Heidi. Bobby Cannavale, who I have adored since he played Will’s boyfriend on the original Will & Grace, shines as her fully-crazed corporate boss.

Now more than ever the entertainment industry dominates our culture, offering distraction from the harsh reality of climate change, political infighting, destitute refugees and foreign wars. Add to that the fact that the brightest creative minds now work in TV instead of Hollywood, and the result is an explosion of viewing options suitable for binge-watching --- our latest national obsession. Let’s face it: these days, who doesn’t binge? Nobody.

It’s a scary thriller about some bad deeds done by our duplicitous government in the name of scientific advancement that might make you even more paranoid than you already are. It’s interesting to watch the famous Pretty Woman timetravel four years into the future, changing back and forth from her usual pretty self into a not-so-pretty frump. Sissy Spacek is fabulous as Heidi’s mother, as well as a few other seasoned actors you might recognize. To say more would spoil the fun. Just watch it, if you can figure out how.

I’ve certainly done my share. Repeated doses of Grace & Frankie, Curb Your Enthusiasm and VEEP prevent me from dwelling on the terrifying state of affairs we all face. But it’s not all just about laughs: Breaking Bad, wherein an ordinary high-school science teacher with terminal cancer turns to making and selling crystal meth as a way to stockpile cash for his family after his death grabbed us all by the throat from 2008 until 2013, earning 58 Emmy nominations and 16 wins and turning Bryan Cranston into a household name. Following is a brief look at some other options perfect for wiping the world off your brain in short segments:

Grace and Frankie --- With four seasons over and done and fans salivating for the fifth set to begin this January, this riotous series stars Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston as two couples who change partners after 30 or so years of marriage. Only it’s not wife-swapping, it’s husband-swapping as the men, law partners, admit to being gay and having an affair for the past 20 years. Suddenly the wives, the eponymous Grace (Fonda) and Frankie (Tomlin) who are as different as night and day and don’t like one another a bit, are thrown together when they each take up residence in their shared beach house to escape their cheating spouses.

Designated Survivor --- Kiefer Sutherland displays his genetic acting chops as the President of the United States, a job that literally falls in his lap after the rest of the government dies in an explosion at the Capitol during the State of the Union address. Thomas Kirkman, a former low-level cabinet member chosen to stay away that night, is suddenly living in the White House and answering to “Mr. President.” The first episode is literally a blast, with thrills creeping up on you slowly since you know ahead of time what’s going to happen but it hasn’t happened yet. When it does, it’s fun to watch -- in a sick and twisted sort of way.

Both women being in their 70s, they face the dilemma of starting over in the dating world while juggling the lives of their grown millennial children, all of whom are very funny in their own right and fraught with zany problems that smack of real life. While some of the story lines might sound sitcom silly on paper, outstanding acting by these seasoned pros more than compensates. Jane Fonda has never been better, and she’s 80! One thing the show gets right: there’s no glossing over the fact that the four leads are all slowing down and dealing with a variety of health issues. Finally aging is treated with respect, even in the bedroom. It’s quite refreshing. Also refreshing is the script’s colour-blindness: with several interracial relationships, marriages and adoptions, black and white ceases to matter at all.

After things quiet down, the plots focus on figuring out who was responsible for the bombing. There is the usual political backstabbing of those in power now elevated to more important jobs, but still jockeying for better ones. If you’re confused about our present real-life government, this show will help you to understand that all politicians are sneaky liars at heart. Except for President Kirkman (Sutherland), who is a saint. (Three seasons, about 22 episodes each.) Killing Eve --- Because I love Sandra Oh, the star of this BBC series, I decided to check out Killing Eve. I managed to sit through three of the 43-minute episodes in Season 1. This involved seeing people die in the following ways: a hairpin stuck into an eyeball, four slit throats, a stomach pumped full of bullets, and two poisonings by asphyxiation. Each murder was performed by a young female

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VEEP --- Starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus as the fictional, current-day Vice President of the United States, and a fabulous ensemble cast as her obsequious minions, this hit series won 17 Emmy awards and 59 nominations during its six-year run. A seventh season is set to begin in 2019, so stock up on popcorn and settle in for a good time. As V.P. Selena Myer, Louis-Dreyfus shines, finally blotting out her own past as Elaine on Seinfeld so many years ago. VEEP takes a darkly comic look at a subject everyone is obsessed with: the scheming, conniving, dishonest world of politics. Vice President Myer wants to be president, naturally, and will do just about anything to achieve her goal. That

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includes completely ignoring her only child, eschewing all attempts at normal friendships, having sex with various powerful men who might further her career, and generally being an all-around rhymes-with-witch. But she’s lovable anyway, and certainly laughable. Side stories involve her aides, a couple of whom have the hots for each other and another who has the hots for her. This show is really hard to turn off. Sadly, I sped right through it and then it was gone -- the only down side as I see it. Curb Your Enthusiasm --- Some say he’s an acquired taste, and if you’ve got it, you can’t do without it. Larry David is definitely habit-forming, and no matter what he says or does, it’s a scream. Truly unbelievable plot lines don’t seem to matter at all, you just tune in to see the crazy cast of characters he’s assembled, including comic Richard Lewis as his best, and most neurotic, friend. Larry plays himself, the fabulously wealthy former producer and writer of the 90s hit Seinfeld sitcom. He hangs out with his manager, played by Jeff Green, and starts out married but eventually divorces and plays the field, with little success. Now he dabbles in this and that, writes a TV show here and there, and goes to his office in downtown LA, but mostly he goes out to lunch with his friends. He also gets into fights with strangers on the street, or in a parking garage, or at the doctor’s office. Just about anyone can be a target for Larry’s ire. He insults everyone, says what he thinks without a filter, and doesn’t give a damn about anyone’s opinion but his own. He’s always obnoxious but also always right. Plus he’s so rich, who cares? His lean days are long gone, and finally he’s free to say what’s on his mind, but say it funny. The Sopranos --- Even though it ended in 2007, The Sopranos is still the Granddaddy of binge-watching. But the shocking truth is that I am still meeting people who never watched even one episode because it’s about Mafia crime. “It’s too violent,” they say. This is sad, since those 86 one-hour episodes spread over six seasons aired on HBO contained some of the most stunning visual images, haunting sound tracks and incredible acting ever to be seen on any screen, certainly a TV screen. Even the violence is beautiful, and for me that’s saying something since I usually cover my eyes at the slightest hint of onscreen conflict. Starring James Gandolfini (who died in 2013) and Edie Falco as an average married couple living in New Jersey and raising two precocious kids, the stories revolve around family life and Tony’s job as a Mafia boss. When he’s not visiting his nasty aging mother (Nancy Marchand) or cheating on his wife with some hot young babe, or hanging out at his strip club with his loyal underlings, Tony kills people, or has them killed. This troubles him, he being a sensitive type, and so he seeks the aid of a shrink (Lorraine Braco) to help him deal with his panic attacks. It’s during these sessions that we see a softer side of the big bad boss, and we fall in love with him. The Sopranos is and remains “must-see TV.” If you never watched it, begin doing so immediately.

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Up Portland Is A Proud Member of the

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Friday 1st February Papers On Street: Tuesday 5th February

Up Portland is edited in Portland and printed the last week of every month in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. We may be contacted at the e-mail or phone number below. While every effort is made to ensure accuracy and fairness, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors. Liability is limited to the cost of said ad. Ads not cancelled by published deadlines may be billed at agreed-upon price. Ads may be edited or rejected for content at the discretion of the publisher. All items appearing in Up Portland, as well as the name, logos and design are copyright 2019 by BBS, A division of High Speed Delivery Fork Ltd. & Ted Fleischaker and may not be reproduced in any form without prior written approval.

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Mark: My Words By Mark Gatti / Mark’s Hotdogs We just finished Christmas and New Year, but I could not let “the season” pass without a few final comments and memories, so please read on. The just-ended month is the time of year when parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles, other assorted family members, and, of course, Santa Claus, gather and wrap presents listed on the children’ wish lists . . . whether bought at stores, or made in Santa’s workshop. The gifts are of all shapes and sizes. Some cost a good sum of money, but whatever the price, the larger gifts are often placed in large cardboard boxes and wrapped with colourful paper --- usually with the proper seasonal motif depicting yuletide symbols. In a late Christmas Eve pinch, I have even wrapped gifts using newspaper in the time-honoured fashion of northern New England thriftiness. The day of Christmas brings everyone anticipation and excitement, which is finally released in the actual opening of gifts. Hopefully, all gifts unwrapped were just the right ones, and all younger members of the household have much joy and merriment playing with the new treasures. There is, however, a phenomenon that occurs with the younger group (not to mention many cats). It’s a phenomenon reaching as far back as I can recall. That is and was our ecstatic reaction to those gigantic cardboard boxes which contained those oftentimes expensive gifts. No matter how much we liked our gifts, our favourite “presents” were those massive cardboard boxes. We would construct mini-villages in any available household space and spend many more hours playing with our inexpensive cardboard boxes, than we would with the costly gifts themselves. I see this phenomenon repeating itself constantly in all generations following mine. The lesson here? We often strive to get the biggest, best or most expensive, latest thing when the real riches of life reveal themselves in the most humble, simple ways. If you don’t believe me, or your kids, ask anyone with a cat which part of the gift is the most important! That is, if you can find which box said cat is sleeping in. But there are other traditions... Christmas Eve and the Feast of Seven Fishes. This is a popular Italian tradition, but seven types of fish seem to be an overabundance to me. It turns out an Italian-American food critic of great reputation interviewed some great chefs and food history buffs in the old country to try to find out the origin of this. And guess what? It turns out it’s an ItalianAmerican creation! Not the eating of the fish itself, but the serving of fish and shellfish on Christmas Eve in Italy goes back to the early days of Christianity. Fish was and is the main part of the meal in Italy and in the old days was a much cheaper and humbler entrée, in keeping with the knowledge that Jesus was a man of rich soul but meager in materialistic worldly goods. Why the increase to seven types served in America? No one I’ve talked to knows exactly. Being part Italian-American myself and privy to huge family meals prepared by my

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great grandmother---the mantra was always “more is better.” Buono Appetito! Tree ornaments. Ornaments have a unique existence---pulled out of old containers stored in attics and basements and placed on a tree for a few weeks, then put back to sleep in those storage containers for eleven-plus months. Many have been passed down for generations and sometimes given by old family friends; all treasured heirlooms. If only they could talk, what fascinating stories of Christmases past they could share! Christmas traditions and how to celebrate this holiday vary world round. One of my sons reminded me how Boxing Day came about. Born in England and observed in other British Commonwealth countries, it’s the day after Christmas. It turns out all the working classes had to work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in the kitchens, dining rooms and other areas of castles and estates as the aristocracy would host huge, elaborate parties in the spirit of Christmas. The elite classes at some point decided it would be a good idea to give their overworked staffs the next day off and a big box of treats, or they would “box up” leftover gifts for giving to their staffs --- thus the name Boxing Day. I feel there’s always hope for mankind whenever the privileged treat those less fortunate with kindness. Christmas season can present itself in many stressful ways. It can be an emotionally tough time, depending on where we are in our lives and, of course, it can present financial hurdles. I’ve been lucky to never have been in a bad place either way here, but I’ve had a few times where the larder was a bit on the light side. A couple of decades ago when the kids were really young, Christmas Eve day broke sunny, windy, and very chilly. I had successfully completed all of my “big” tree present shopping, but I had no funds left for stocking gifts. One of my favourite parts of Christmas is to fill everyone’s stocking with fun little gifts. Off to work at the hot dog stand I went, not really needing to make that much dough to fill my stocking fund, but I was a bit short. As you may guess, the wind chills were too high, making the sunny, brilliant day too cold to attract hot dog customers. After selling a dozen hot dogs at most, I forlornly decided to head home an hour earlier than normal. I was frozen. Just as I was getting ready to shut off the steamer, a young dad out shopping with his kids strolled up and ordered three hot dogs. I thanked him as I started to make change from his $50 bill. He said, “No change needed, Merry Christmas!” The stockings were filled to the brim that year thanks to that nice young dad. I consider myself a fairly spiritual guy, but confess I am no expert on religion or scholar of the writings of the Bible, Torah, Koran, Buddhism or any other great books of spirituality. But I’ve always loved celebrating Jesus’ birthday. Whether it’s actually on December 25th or not is a moot point. My favourite story concerning Jesus is the time he approached a group of people preparing to stone a suspected prostitute. He said that those who have never sinned should cast the first stone. Everyone dropped their rocks. I am happy to celebrate someone’s birthday who stands up like this. In closing, I take a moment to remember all friends and family members who have passed on to the next dimension during the season of reflection. And getting back to the seven fishes on Christmas Eve --- I’ve eaten some sort of finned or shelled fish at this time since I’ve had memory. Many times I did not eat seven varieties, but I have come close and maybe achieved the number once or twice. Presently my wife, who is not Italian, lovingly prepares a delicious seafood chowder on Christmas --- filled to the brim with many types of fish and shellfish. My great grandmother would be very pleased. The “more is better” food tradition continues. Happy New Year! ---Mark

Up Portland 01.19 In Print * On The Web At: www.upportland.com * On Facebook


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Up Portland 01.19 In Print * On The Web At: www.upportland.com * On Facebook


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