APRIL 2018
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A Humorous (But Dead Serious) Look at the 2018 PMA Biennial By Andrea Rouda For Up Portland I am not a professional art critic, I am just a professional artist. I‘ve been one ever since studying Fine Art at New York University eons ago. I then embarked on a career as a painter, graphic designer and illustrator. My work has been included in three solo shows and countless group exhibitions in Washington, D.C., and San Francisco, as well as a few here in Portland where I moved nine years ago. I opened (and then closed) two art galleries where I sold paintings by other artists as well as my own. But enough about me, I just wanted to clarify that I’m not just some shmoe who walked off the street and into the current exhibition at the Portland Museum of Art. I believe my opinion has some merit, although many of you may disagree. I urge you to see for yourself as the show runs through 3rd June. Every two years since 1998 the PMA has presented the Biennial, a group exhibition by artists with a “meaningful connection to Maine.” Some live here, some work here, while others may have visited once. David Driskell, the 86-year-old nationally recognised painter who was born in Georgia, grew up in North Carolina and studied at Maine’s Skowhegan School of Painting and Sculpture back in 1953, lives in the Washington, D.C., 0area. Who knows if he ever got back to Maine? He is the only “big name” in this show, and a row of his abstract paintings done in encaustics are the first works one encounters. The Biennial is always a good time because it always includes some of the absolute ugliest art the museum’s director and curators can find, thus making it appear cutting-edge, like what you might see in New York or LA. This year is no exception and in fact hits a new low with 60 works by 25 artists, just a few of which you might actually ever want to see again.
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Things start off bad. Entering the exhibition, the unsuspecting visitor is virtually smacked in the face by two huge, and I mean huge, paintings by Angela Dufresne. Stretching from floor to ceiling, both are sloppily executed depictions of lesbians. We know this because the mannish-looking figure in one of the paintings wears a t-shirt emblazoned with the words “EAT P**** FOR MENTAL HEALTH”, which is also the title of the work. (Not necessarily true, by the way; but look at Donald Trump, who made “that word” the nasty of the election, however... I digress.) The other one just stares ahead, arms folded, and looks pissed-off. These two paintings got me in a sour mood fast, and it continued unabated for most of my time there, causing me to think that if this is “art” maybe I should look for another line of work.
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Nearby, a particularly non-artsy (and thus obnoxious) entry consists of a series of plain white sheets of paper with lines scrawled on them such as might be made with a BIC pen. They look like something for the shredder but are presented here as art. The person responsible placed these pages underneath the pages of a book she was reading and underlined certain passages really hard, causing the impressions of her underlining on the blank pages below. She then went over them with that BIC, allowing us to “see” the “action” of reading. Oh please. This one nearly had me screaming, but my husband talked me down. Don’t get me wrong, there are some lovely entries, but you have to look for them. Two handmade ash and dye baskets by Fred Tomah presented inside a glass case are worthy of close study. These are instantly recognizable as truly artistic offerings with mass appeal, unlike some of the other entries. For example, three large black and white photographs of a very buff African American man are certainly well-executed, but if you aren’t the man’s parents or lover or friend, they’re instantly forgettable. (There may have been four of them, or two.) For me, among the best works in the show is “Landfill No. 43: Cross Sections” by Jonathan Mess, shown at right. Ten sculptural pieces created from reclaimed ceramic materials that have been re-fired just sit there being beautiful. I wanted all of them. I also lusted after three large, semi-abstract “portraits” of faceless people done in beautiful, bright acrylics by Stephen Benenson. One in particular titled “Exhale” sticks in my mind. Hanging all in a row, you can’t miss them. Another favourite of mine is available for viewing without the price of admission --- just walk into the museum and there it is: a huge wall painting serving as the entrance to the show itself. Jenny McGee Dougherty’s “Debris” floods the main lobby with colourful, latex-painted hieroglyphics that are upbeat and fanciful, making me want to run home and paint a wall in my house, or maybe even all the walls in my house, the very same way.
with childlike drawings of figures done in oil and gouache. It’s almost impossible to fathom its meaning without reading the explanatory card posted next to it. Turns out it’s “a mythical barren landscape wherein female-bodied human figures wear hyena costumes, giving us pause to consider issues of gender definitions.” Really? I didn’t get that, possibly because I have never met a hyena in person. There’s more -- some of it better, a lot worse, and a few that defy description. I could go on but I won’t; you’ve simply got to see it to believe it.
Certainly, no art show that prides itself on diversity is complete without attention being paid to Native Americans and how they have been mistreated. To that end we have a full-sized, handmade birch-bark canoe set down smack in the middle of things, a combined effort by David Moses Bridges and Steve Cayard, reflecting the passing of Passamaquoddy culture. Nearby, five sizeable contemporary quilts by Gina Adams hang from rods like flags in the main gallery. Covered with hand-cut calico letters forming words rather than images, they record the many times the United States has broken treaties with Native Americans, including the Passamaquoddy tribe, which is surely something we all want to know. A 16-panel installation titled “The Republic of Hysteria” depicts something I had little desire to study, since it’s not all that attractive. Still, it’s large and unusual, thus an attention-grabber. Created by Anne Buckwalter, it consists of an image on paper that was cut into a dozen same-size rectangles pinned up in a big square, making it seem that much more impressive. They are covered
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Processed Media By Randy Dankievitch — TV Editor of Goomba Stomp
Is Fortnite The Future of Gaming? … Probably Not There was once a time when a video game going “mainstream” was a big deal. Super Mario World, Final Fantasy VII, World of Warcraft… these games transcended the natural niche of early gaming generations to become cultural touchstones, games revered as much for their quality as they are their influence on the video game industry and society writ large. In 2018, however, gaming is simply a “mainstream” industry; when 90-year old grandmas are playing iPhone games, and Twitch is gaining millions of views a day on behalf of their many, many, many independent streamers, the idea of a game taking the world by storm is not necessarily something special, or even iconic, anymore. The easiest examination of this comes between PlayerUnkonwn’s Battlegrounds (more commonly referred to by its awkward acronym PUBG), and Epic Games’ Fortnite: Battle Royale, two games that have quickly dominated the fledgling genre of “battle royale” shooter, where a large number of players are dropped, naked and weaponless, onto a map full of treasure and treachery, where the only goal is to be the last one standing. Both titles come from a certain place of prestige: PlayerUnknown had previously made “battle royale” mods for games like Arma, and Epic Games is the company behind the Unreal Engine, one of the most technically advanced proprietary game engines in the world (fun fact: Battlegrounds actually runs on Unreal Engine 4, something we’ll talk a bit more about in a minute).
move, Epic decided to piggybank off the success of Battlegrounds – a game built on Epic’s own Unreal Engine, no less – and release their own “original” battle royale game; one that traded in realistic bullet drop and barren landscapes for a lush, colourful, cartoonish vibe... one that is oddly (and pleasantly dissonant) from the bevy of animated violence and chaos that plays out in each match. This month, Fortnite took another step towards mainstream success, when your mom’s favourite rapper, Drake, went online to play a squad game with Ninja, one of Twitch’s extremely popular personalities – and until a controversy around him using racial slurs in his stream popped up a few days back, was a relatively tame persona compared to many others who’ve enjoyed popularity – or notoriety – on the platform. Drake appearing on stream coincided (quite neatly, I might add) with the release of Fortnite Mobile, dooming school teachers across America to be reduced to background noise, as millions of kids destroyed public Wi-Fi spots trying to claim the title of “Victory Royale” (a title that lasts for about two minutes, I might add, until you load into another game). It became meme-ified; there are Facebook videos of grandmas playing Fortnite, which is really when you know something has reached a new cultural plateau. So why won’t it last? Again, the case of PUBG is a model to examine for Fortnite. PUBG, what many consider to be the most influential video game of 2017, is but an afterthought three months into 2018; an influx of hackers using illegal mods, and an ill-received new map have erased the year of well wishes and fortune enjoyed by PUBG Corporation. What was once being considered “the next big thing” in gaming has been reduced to a punch line in many cases. Even the tournament scene slowly forming around PUBG has slowed to a crawl, as presenters and commentators find themselves struggling to fill 40 minutes of a match with enough engaging material to keep things moving in between the rare skirmish or occasional gun fire exchange.
Last year, PUBG arrived in the Steam Store as part of their “early access” programme, where gamers can purchase unfinished games, able to continuously download updates and play games as the developers are still working on them. Almost immediately, the game entered the Twitch zeitgeist, to become one of the most watched games on the platform – not to mention one of the best selling games of 2017, even though the game technically wasn’t “complete” on the PC until late December. Equal parts competitive shooter and tactical exploration, PUBG was a dream concoction of a rogue like and Call of Duty shoved together in one tight, endearingly glitchy $20 package. This astonishing, seemingly out of nowhere success, was soon followed by Fortnite – a game that originally had no similarities to PUBG. Fortnite’s original mode (Which is still available in the base game, itself still in paid beta form) was more of a traditional tower-defence cooperative game, with the flavour of zombie shooters like Call of Duty: Zombies or Left 4 Dead thrown in (that mode is now called Save the World, to distinguish itself from Battle Royale). While perfectly fine, Save the World didn’t receive the hype Epic probably hoped a game that had been in development for six years would – it wasn’t until they quietly announced, and quickly released, PUBG-clone mode Fortnite that everything changed for Epic Games. Until Fortnite: Battle Royale took the world by storm this Winter, Epic Games was company known for awesome technical savvy, and a series of increasingly underwhelming titles trying to chase the dragon of cultural relevance. A series of mobile games, a League of Legends clone that never took hold – since Gears of War, Epic’s game development division had struggled to keep up with the team building the company’s iconic engines. However, in what many might call an extremely shrewd
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Fortnite is quicker, more accessible (in visuals and gameplay design – not to mention Battle Royale is free to play), and infinitely more popular right now: a cultural cache some are placing hefty expectations on, with unintended complications and consequences. What happens in six months, when everyone gets tired of the superficial gameplay loop Fortnite offers? Is Epic preparing themselves for when this game inevitably hits a wall, either in terms of market share, or conversational cache? One day, Epic will release a patch that pisses off Fortnite players, or a hack will proliferate across the internet, infecting servers and pushing gamers away in droves. Or simply, someone will come along and clone Fortnite’s clone of PUBG; after all, the very nature of art is that is iterative, right? It may be those things, but it may be something much quicker and swifter: once Fortnite’s shallow gameplay loop wears off, what does that game have to offer? A tower defence mode that was abandoned six months ago, in favour of putting everyone at Epic on the Battle Royale team (killing multiple projects in development, and games with active servers alike)? Clones often can piggyback on the zeitgeist of their inspirations – and often outlive them – but in a world where every game is one update away from failure, one meme away from losing cultural relevance, Epic’s grand gamble on Fortnite’s multiplayer mode will prove to be an interesting case study in what is kind of a new age for gaming, one where mainstream, niche, cutting-edge, and affordable have all coalesced into one giant, virtual monster of industry, profit – and of course, murder by rocket launchers.
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Hackin’ The Net By Ted Fleischaker / Publisher When I was a kid growing up in Louisville, we had a place down on 3rd Street called Maury’s Fluorescent. I suppose they fixed lights there, too, but we never took in any. What we did was take everything in from the old percolator (Anybody remember those?) to the waffle iron to Grandpa Dave’s Norelco shaver and in a few days whatever we took in was fixed. Later, in Indianapolis, we had a similar place called the Brand Service Centre. That’s it below. Like Maury’s, the old guy behind the counter would do anything from selling you new blades for your shaver to stuff to clean the scale off your coffee pot and most things in between. He also fixed waffle irons, steam irons and hairdryers. They were both “fix-it” places... and every city and town had (and a few still have) one. But what’s that got to do with computers, high tech phones and tablets? Lately, it seems, a whole lot, because from the mall to a new spot about to open on the Peninsula, everywhere one looks there are a growing army of places which will fix electronics --from replacing laptop batteries to broken phone screens for a few bucks. They don’t do percolators or razors, but they are the Maury’s or the Brand Service Centres of today. But there is one huge difference: Coffee pots back in the day did not come with warranties. And the shavers (if they did) had a few months guarantee, after which you were on your own. Also, all of those old gadgets were pretty much mechanical: shavers had motors and coffee pots, waffle irons and hairdryers had heating elements. They either worked or they didn’t. And when they failed, fixing them was usually pretty cut-and-dried. From replacing frayed cords to shaver blades, it was all pretty easy for that brigade of old men who seemed to habitate the repair places to get done in a day or three and for $5 or $10. Nowadays, however, like life itself, things are not nearly so simple. Not only are half of the repair shops for computers, tablets and phones not certified by the manufacturers to do the work, but taking your device in to have something done will often result in a voided warranty. And, not only are the gadgets these days no longer $10 or $25 to replace, but their complexity makes getting something done, other than at a certified repair shop or your phone provider’s store, a real gamble. And if you lose, you can lose big-time, as today’s phones, tablets and computers often can cost four digits to replace. So what to do? First, unlike the old appliances, which were built like tanks, remember that iPhone, Android, laptop or tablet is not as sturdy. Dropping it face down in Franklin Street can, and very well will, result in a cracked or broken screen. Dropping a cup of coffee (percolator or Keurig or French press --- doesn’t matter) on that keyboard or laptop will usually ruin the innards. And what’s called
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“physical damage” is usually not covered by your warranty, either. Unlike the $10 to fix the shavers Grandpa Dave used to accidentally drop into the sink filled with water, today that “oops” is a whole lot more costly. So my point: Take care of that device. Get a good, solid case and a screen protector. Leave it home or get a special waterproof cover if you are going to the beach or kayaking. Don’t leave it in your back jeans pocket when you pull your pants down and risk a “toilet phone”. Extra care for extra expensive gear will go a long way since you won’t need repairs if you do not damage your gear in the first place. But what about when you do? We all have those moments we’d not like to think about. The ones where maple syrup lands in the keyboard while eating waffles on Maine Maple Sunday. Or the one where your cat knocks your phone onto a marble floor with screen-killing results. Accidents do happen. So what to do? First, and this is well before any accidents, buy an extended service plan if your device-maker or carrier offers one. And read it before buying. Some “insurance” deals will replace that phone or computer or tablet but with a remanufactured or refurbished one. That may mean it’ll work great. Or it may mean the original issue that got it sent in for a fix may resurface. Remanufactured is not the same as new. See what you will get if you need to use the insurance or care plan! Next, if at all possible, take the device into the store where you bought it or to the manufacturer. For Apple gear, the Genius Bar at the Apple Store is best, or failing that, Best Buy’s Geek Squad or one of the Apple certified repair stations. The folks at these have been trained in what to do, how to use authorised parts and can repair or replace your device with one guaranteed to be as good as new while saving your warranty. Microsoft, LG, Samsung and other makers also have authorised, certified dealers and repair stations. Start there. While it is true going back to the manufacturer may result in a delay on the repair, it’s worth the wait because short-cutting that repair may well result in a bad ending. Too many folks take their phones or tablets into one of the shops which today are like Maury’s, but unlike the days when an old man at a table could fix anything for a few bucks, nowadays those fixes are much more costly... and unlike back in the day, many items come with warranties which will be voided if you do not use a certified, approved repair location. And that goes well beyond what you might take the device in for. If you take in a phone with a cracked screen for a new screen and it’s not going to an approved facility, your warranty is toast. That means later, if the logic board should fail, or that “no name” screen malfunctions, the phone, laptop or tablet will be on you to pay for fixing... and that can run into hundreds or even more. While we have nothing against everyone making an honest living (and that includes those repair kiosks and shops) be aware that letting those cowboys open or repair your device will usually void your warranty. In addition, too often what they will be using for that budget “fix” is also substandard. Screens which fail to pass one of the “big guys” rigid approvals off the
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line in China often end up marked down and land in the hands of corner repair shops. Same with batteries, logic boards and more. If it’s a genuine Microsoft or Apple or LG or Samsung part, it has to pass the firm’s approval and it also usually ends up in the Apple Store, Best Buy or at a certified repair depot. Back in the day, nobody cared that Maury whipped together those coffee pot or toaster cords in the back room... The cords he sold for $3 when the old ones got frayed or broken. These days, a cable with improper voltage and / or certification usually won’t work with your device (as we have discussed previously) or, worse yet, it will work but some fine day catch fire or charge incorrectly, shorting out the phone or pad. What was that we said about life (and gadgets) being a lot more complicated these days? Finally, know that if you end-run the official repair station and later end up back there, they can tell what’s been going on and refuse you service if your device is compromised. Adding counterfeit or questionable parts will mean they likely won’t work on it...even for a totally different issue. Take it to one of the kiosks for a new screen and later if the keyboard fails, you may very well be out of luck. And that’s not meanness or profit talking. It’s a bit of safety, as nobody knows what’s inside a counterfeit battery or screen. And it’s a bit of prevention as that fake screen may look great, but what if it doesn’t draw the correct voltage and the battery burns up? Or it shorts out and shocks you? It may seem greedy, but in truth, unlike those $5 cords anybody anywhere could plug into 1955’s toasters, today those fixes are just as much a part of history. So our advice: Tempted as you may be, use repair services your provider or manufacturer offers. Find out when you purchase an extended warranty, like AppleCare or one from AT&T or Verizon, exactly what it gets, what’s covered and how a “whoops” will or will not be dealt with. And above all treat that modern gear with gentle respect. The old line “they just don’t build ‘em like they used to” has a lot of wisdom nowadays. Besides, it’s better not to need service in the first place than to be faced with a bad choice between possibly unethical repair people or big bucks at the brand name store to fix things so they work right again.
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NEIGHBORHOOD MEETING on upcoming
TAX REVALUATION Tuesday, April 10, 2018 Cloudport, 63 Federal Street Join the India Street Neighborhood Association for a discussion on the City’s upcoming property tax revaluation and other issues affecting our neighborhood. A city representative will be present to explain the revaluation process and answer questions about how this will affect you.
6:15 – Pre-meeting social 7:00 – Meeting begins 8:30 – Post-meeting discussion
ALL ARE WELCOME – FOOD AND DRINK PROVIDED ____________________________________________________________________________________ A BO UT TH E I ND I A ST R EE T N E IG HBO R HOO D AS SOC I AT ION The India Street Neighborhood Association brings members of the community together in a way that organizes, informs, and empowers residents, local businesses, social services and city representatives. Association membership is free and open to all residents and business owners within the neighborhood boundaries. For more information, visit www.indiastreet.org or contact info@indiastreet.org.
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Food For Thought... Ever since I arrived in Portland about three years ago, I have been wandering around the Peninsula eating wonderful meals at the plethora of restaurants which make us one of the country’s most foodie cities. But all that time, I have wondered if any of the chefs and restauranteurs had a car or the bus fare to open something a bit further afield. Of course, we are in love with some of the spots like the Maine Diner in Wells and Bob’s Clam Shack in Kittery (soon to open a Portland branch at Cumberland and Washington avenues) as well as the old-style places like Warren’s Lobster House in Kittery and spots in Freeport and beyond, but we always wondered why none of the chefs could find a spot in South Portland, and especially one close to the Maine Mall, where we go for shopping and visits to the Apple store. Sure, I love the clams at Friendly’s and until they closed, Linda Bean had a neat boat-shaped restaurant inside the mall, but the area is mainly fast food, shuttered spots like Weathervane’s Portland branch, Bugaboo Creek and places like the Tilted Kilt where the food has never been (in our opinion) front-andcentre. So with that windy preface, enter the folks from Yarmouth’s Royal River Grill House and Tuscan Bistro in Freeport with their new, and very good, entry in the mall area food race: Tuscan Table. What to say? Well, first that we will say that we shall be back, but before we are there again, we plan to ask some questions about stairs. Overall, the server was great, the food, too, BUT those damn steps! You see, the restaurant has a really neat layout, with a huge balcony overlooking the main floor. That means to get from the ground up there takes a bit of work. Yours truly has some issues with my back and the steps were a real challenge, but before I arrived half of the four in my group were seated, so rather than try and move my party, I struggled and made the steps, though uncomfortably. It would have been nice had either the restaurant or Open Table, where I reserved, asked if steps were an issue or let me know so I could have called, but neither did it that I recall....and the hostess looked shocked I even asked if there was an elevator! I also think that, plus the fact two of the four of us were there 10 minutes early and already seated caused a minor issue with service because the early arrivals got bread and dipping sauce, as well as water, but the other two of us did not,
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until we asked several times for someone to please go get us some. I view all of this as a stairs issue as the server was having to climb them for each request, just as we did. OK, so whining over, the food on the plates was wonderful, and Alex, our server, did a super smiling job getting his workout on the steps, so we tipped accordingly. He must have strong legs! As far as the food, I had a fantastic steak (at left) which was served on gorgonzola bruschetta and accompanied by rosemary fries and these carmelised delicious onions. For just the onion, I’d go back ‘cause it really was that good. The steak itself was also very nice and was served extra rare as ordered. Points for that! Those dining with me opted for various of the wood-fired pizzas and proclaimed them equally delicious. Same with a Caesar salad one added, so there was not much out there off Maine Mall and Gorham roads not to like. We will confess we were too full of pizza, steak and salad to even try the desserts, though this is one of the few Portland spots where my old fave, Profiteroles, even appear on the menu. Tuscan Table gets points for that, too, and I promise to try some next visit --- even if it means skipping the main course (long as they bring me the onion). So overall, what did this reviewer think? The pricing (about $129 for four, give or take a few cents, including a decent tip for the great work Alex did) was more than fair. But my suggestion: Get rid of the steps (like that could happen), OR more realistically, put a note on the reservation form asking if steps would be an issue and offering first floor seating if someone checks “yes”. It would have made my dinner more enjoyable for sure. I suppose I could have put it in the comments when I reserved but in 2018 in a modern building, unlike those on the Peninsula, who’d have thought I needed to? I’ll be back, but will bring along my climbing gear! Moving right along, and back downtown, I recently went to several spots where I have heard rumours about the French Onion Soup... and the rumours were good and factual. Of all the items on a menu, a steaming bowl of French Onion Soup, especially with good bread and cheese, can make up for a lot. In fact, it did just that at Petite Jacqueline at 46 Market Street, because while I did not find it to be the town’s best of the Onion Soup breed, it was good enough to “save” what I felt was an otherwise unremarkable, and downright so-so brunch on a recent cold Sunday.
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I think my biggest issue with Petite Jacqueline was that the portions were meager and the quality of what was served just a bare step above passable. For the money, it was not the best combination. But the Onion Soup (below) was delicious. Albeit too “bready” for my taste, it came out promptly and hot. It also had some wonderful Gruyere Cheese along with baguette crostini, but the bread soaked up so much of the wonderful broth, I found myself tempted to wring it out to get the final few drops. For $9 it was passable. Sadly, my Croque Madame (an open-faced sandwich of ham, gruyere, mornay, and fried egg on brioche - $12) was even less fantastic, featuring a slice of ham so thin I swear I could have seen through it, and such a skimpy portion of the mornay as to make me wonder why they’d bothered. The brioche was delightful, the egg just fine and the service more than good, but it was the soup which highlighted the so-so meal for me. My two dining companions both opted for crepes, which are a specialty of the house at Petite Jacqueline and one also got some fries while I had a side salad with my sandwich. Both of my friends said the crepes were “OK” and that they would maybe go back. This being a foodie city, I never find just “OK” to be much to write home about, especially as we have some truly wonderful crepes at Sip of Europe on Congress Street and Cafe Crepe on Monument Way in the old Market House. This reviewer’s advice is choose one of the above instead of Petite Jacqueline for crepes, but that’s just one man’s opinion. But back to the soup, and within ball-throwing and shouting distance of Petite Jacqueline is one of my top faves to go for a bowl. Shocking as it sounds, Pat’s Pizza at 30 Market Street does one of the town’s best French Onion Soups. Pair it with a salad or piece or two of pizza and it’s a sure winner, served in a less formal and more laid back atmosphere than what I found at Petite Jacqueline. I know a pizza place and soup do not sound like a made-in-heaven combo, but trust me on this one and stop by at Pat’s Pizza. Besides, their version of my fave soup is less than half the price of Petite Jacqueline’s at $4.15 ...and way better! So after that comment, where do I “always” go for French Onion Soup? The answer (above) is the Little Tap House at Spring and High streets. In fact, I go there so often for it that when I recently texted a photo of a steaming bowl to my sister in Central Florida she messaged back simply, “Little Tap House?” Maybe I am a creature of habit, but Little Tap House’s French Onion Soup ($8), with Swiss Cheese and Crostini is the town’s finest. There’s enough good bread in it to make the meal enjoyable, but not so much as to be overwhelming; the dish comes out so hot as to have given me a few seared fingers touching the bowl, and the presentation, with crostini and scallions on the plate next to the soup makes for a grand lunch. I tend to have heavy lunches, so I like a Tap House Burger ($15) with my soup here, but I honestly could make a complete light lunch from the soup alone. And when it comes to flavours, there’s also no comparison. Little Tap House’s chef does it 100% right; Pat’s is more than acceptable but sadly, Petite Jacqueline’s soup flavour left me less than excited about the prospect of a revisit. Maybe once they reinvigorate their pastry case I will head back for dessert, but first I’ll pop in at Tap House or Pat’s for my soup because, at least in my opinion, they both do it better! Mon dieu! BITS & BITES... A few more food notes... As we write these words, Two Fat Cats Bakery is within days of opening a second location on Broadway in South Portland. Owner Stacy Begin tells us the India Street original is not going anywhere so breathe easy fellow Peninsula dwellers, our pie heaven is staying right here. It’s just that the fat cats were getting too big for their current location, and needed additional baking space, so they bought the SoPo spot across from Easy Day and are branching out! Look for the 2nd location opening soon... Also opening in the next little while will be Bob’s Clam Hut’s Portland location. It’s gonna be at Washington and Cumberland avenues, where Three Buoys used to be. Major construction to transform the building is underway, so it’s going to be a bit before they get the doors open, but when they do come prepared to eat some great clams and more. If you can’t wait, try the original Bob’s, which is along Route One in Kittery!
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Sauntering With Mat
By Mat Robedee / Up Portland Commentator
Every year more people set out into the woods to enjoy the natural wonders of Maine. The future of the state’s wilderness camping, hikes and other outdoor recreation depends on more people adopting what’s known as Leave No Trace (LNT) principles. Just as when visiting your partner’s parents for the first time or dining at a fancy restaurant, there are codes of conduct we all tend to follow. LNT Principles are scientifically researched and supported ways to respect nature and other visitors, while still enjoying our time outdoors. Nobody wants to be “that guy” who is snapping at their waiter to get their attention or talking loudly on their phone in the checkout line. So before setting out into the woods this year, lets take a quick lesson in “How Not to be a Nature Jerk: 101”. Plan Ahead & Prepare · Poorly prepared people, tend to make poorly planned choices. This often relates to many aspects in life, but lets just stick to the outdoors for now…. When presented with unexpected situations, many resort to high-impact solutions that degrade the outdoors or put themselves and others at risk. Proper planning for all conditions leads to less impact. Additionally, know where you are going, bring a map and understand emergencies often happen, so have an emergency plan in place before you go. A life-flight is not just a fancy exit off the hiking trail... Travel and Camp on Durable Surfaces · Durable surfaces include established trails (as in the photo of yours truly above) and tent sites, rock, gravel, dry grass or snow. When camping near water, aim to be at least 200 feet away from lakes and streams. If there is not a site there already, don’t be “that person” who destroys an area that others could enjoy just because you wanted one night of sleep for yourself. It takes far more time and effort for nature to bounce back from your impact than it does for you to be considerate. Additionally, stay on trails; they bring you to amazing places. Trust me, if it’s worth seeing, there will already be a trail to bring you there! Dispose of Waste Properly · This is a “biggie.” Pack it in / Pack it out and avoid washing yourself or dirty dishes in water sources. If you do need a rinse, than pack smart, plus eco-friendly / biodegradable soap is just a few dollars more. Also Jerks litter. Nobody likes a jerk.
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Leave What You Find · Listen, I get it, truly I do - but some areas are better left examined than taken home. That rock or antler often looks waaaay cooler in the wild than it does collecting dust on a shelf at your house. If you discover a place with stunning beauty, leave it that way for others. I don’t walk into your house, make a mess and take what I want, do I? Minimise Campfire Impact · Campfire impact usually lasts longer than our own personal shelf life. When permitted, try to use established fire rings. You can still have an epic fire without having to go full on bonfire with your approach - those are best kept for keg parties and BBQs anyway... Also, please no breaking branches off living trees or ravaging high impact areas because you were too lazy to bring firewood. Its usually $5 a bundle and easy to find locally.
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Respect Wildlife · Avoid wildlife during sensitive times. Those are the same times that you also like to be left alone - such as mating, sleeping, raising young and during the Winter season. Remember, you are heading into their home, so let’s try to respect that. Also, If it smells good, it probably tastes good but if it doesn’t grow there, its likely harmful for wildlife. So feed only yourself and not our furry friends. Yes, Maine does have bears, and as unlikely as they are to cause harm to you, they could certainly pay your tent site a visit, unless you learn to manage you supplies appropriately. Be Considerate of Other Visitors · This I cannot stress enough so I said it once, but it needs saying again --- just don’t be a jerk. It’s quite simple actually. For instance, nature really, truly sounds very cool when you listen - unlike music blasting from a neighbour’s tent site on a beautiful Summer night. Just remember, as cool as you may be - people are not heading into the woods because they want to be around you.
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Beyond The Forecast
our first major Nor’easter, that heat energy has already been deposited into the middle of the atmosphere. Note that because that graphic displays the averaged anomaly of the entire hemisphere (all longitudes), the ridges and troughs (areas of warm and cool air) in the lower part of the atmosphere cancel each other out, resulting in a loss of the SSW signal in this plot and a net anomaly near zero.
By Jack Sillin / Weatherman & Meterology Student Hello everyone!
What the stretch of wild weather this past month has seen! I wrote last month about my experience chasing the first storm of the month, which brought coastal flooding to Portland and hurricane force winds to Cape Cod. That system was only the beginning of a train of five powerful coastal storms that developed over the course of the month off the East Coast. We only felt strong impacts from the first three of those storms, but number four missed to our south only by 150 miles or so, and number five brought yet another round of coastal flooding to Massachusetts via swell energy, even though not a single raindrop or snowflake fell. So what was behind this parade of atmospheric power? The answer to this question begins about 19 miles above the surface in early February, when the temperature in the part of the atmosphere known as the stratosphere warmed extremely dramatically, as shown by this graphic. At the beginning of February, stratospheric temperatures were near record lows. By the second week of the month, they were breaking record highs. The precise cause of this sudden stratospheric warming (SSW for short) is not yet known, though there’s some speculation a storm that brought feet of snow to Greenland and above freezing temperatures to the North Pole the first week of February may be to blame.
The third graphic, above, shows the result of all that heat energy downwelling into the middle troposphere (the part of the atmosphere where our weather happens). Notice the large ridge of high pressure (warm air) over Greenland on March 1st --- a direct result of the SSW. This ridge is doing to the tropospheric weather pattern what the SSW did to the stratosphere. At the beginning of March, the jet stream over the Atlantic reversed direction. Normally out of the west, winds all of the sudden began blowing from the east. Flights from Europe to the US had an abnormal tailwind, and arrived in some cases three hours ahead of schedule. Meanwhile at ground level, snow drifts as tall as houses were reported in parts of England and Ireland as the “Beast from the East” roared in causing ocean effect off the North Sea. The wild weather didn’t stop there. All across the Hemisphere change was in the air as the jet stream dramatically weakened and splintered into many different segments, or “branches”.
Whatever the cause, the effects were dramatic. Winds in the stratosphere, usually screaming westerlies, switched directions. The circulation that encloses the North Pole during the cold season, known as the Polar Vortex (yes, this is the actual definition of the term, not a cold front in January), broke down and split into two separate circulations. A tremendous amount of heat energy was suddenly and violently released into the upper atmosphere, and it didn’t take long for that process to begin to influence the weather closer to the surface. The graphic at left shows the vertical temperature anomaly profile of the air between 60 and 80 N from the ground to the top of the stratosphere between the beginning of February and now. The SSW event shows up very clearly as the area of 18 degree temperature anomalies around 10mb showing up the second week of February. Notice how as time goes on, those warm anomalies propagate downward through the atmosphere. By the time we get to March 1st, the day before
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This fragmentation of the jet is due to the heat energy released by the SSW. Jet stream winds derive their strength from the thermal gradient that always exists between the poles and the tropics. When that gradient is strong, the jet is strong. But when that gradient weakens, the jet weakens as well, and sometimes begins to break down. Because the tropics are always warm, changes in this gradient are modulated by Arctic temperatures. Warm Arctic temperatures (due to a SSW for example) result in a weaker gradient/jet, while the opposite is true for colder Arctic temperatures. When the jet slows down for the season in the Spring, a trend towards quieter weather can be expected as a weaker jet has less kinetic energy to help form storms. However, when the jet slows down temporarily in the Winter, it allows warm and cold air to mix as troughs and ridges amplify. This is exactly what happened in early March. The development of the Greenland block due to the SSW, and the subsequent weakening of the overall jet circulation drove amplification of troughs and ridges around the hemisphere. One of those troughs developed off the West Coast, which resulted in the amplification of ridging over the Rockies. As the ridge over the Rockies built northward into Canada, it dislodged Arctic cold air and disturbances, which proceeded to dive southeast across the Midwest. It didn’t take long for these disturbances to find their way to the East Coast, where they found the natural thermal gradient that exists between the warm Gulf Stream and the colder North American continent.
Jack’s Weather Terms
Stratosphere: The troposphere is where the weather that directly impacts us at the surface occurs. The troposphere contains lots of vertical motion, and it’s those currents of rising and sinking air that generate stormy and sunny conditions respectively. The troposphere generally cools with height, and typically extends about 10km (6.2 miles) above the surface. The stratosphere on the other hand is extremely stable, warming with height. There’s very little if any vertical motion of air in the stratosphere, though we’ve seen with some of the graphics here how heat and energy can propagate upwards and downwards through even very stable air. Stratospheric weather doesn’t directly impact us at the surface, though we’ve seen this month how its indirect impacts can at times be quite significant. The stratosphere extends from about 10km (6.2 miles) to about 50km (30 miles) above the surface. Ice Accretion: Ice accretion is the term given to ice that’s left behind on frozen objects during freezing rain. Why “accretion” as opposed to “accumulation” which is used for rain and snow? It’s because accumulation refers to the total amount of precipitation that falls. If 1” of rain falls, you can expect to measure 1” in your rain gauge. If 10” of snow falls, you can expect 10” on your driveway. However, if an inch of rain falls below freezing (freezing rain), you may only find 1/4” of ice on trees/ power lines, etc. That’s because not all of that rain can stick... some of it will drip off even if temps are below freezing. Because not all of the precipitation that falls during freezing rain events can be measured as ice, the term accretion is used to describe what’s left behind on surfaces, and is different from accumulation, which would be the total amount of rain/melted ice in your rain gauge.
I’ve written before about how the interaction between upper level disturbances and this gradient produces strong Nor’easters, and we saw that process play out on the highest level a number of times this month. As those storms rapidly intensified, they attempted to race northeast like all developing coastal storms. However, it didn’t take long for the systems to run into the easterly Atlantic jet I mentioned earlier. This reversed jet acted as the atmospheric version of a brick wall, and forced the storms to slow down. It was the slowing down of the storms, in addition to their intensity, that made them such high impact events. A 12-18 hour period of heavy snow can drop a foot more snow than a 6-12 hour period, which is common for our more fast moving systems. The slow storm motions also contributed to the severity of the coastal flooding. Easterly winds had days to pile water and waves up against the coastlines instead of hours, increasing the impact by orders of magnitude. There were also almost a dozen high tide cycles with coastal flooding, especially just to the south of Portland. It’s one thing to face a storm tide with fresh and fully armed defenses, it’s quite another once that surge threatens and your seawall/dunes/other barriers have already been severely damaged or destroyed by earlier tides. One of the things that has always amazed me about the atmosphere is its interconnectedness. Who would’ve thought the temperatures 19 miles above the North Pole could result in flooding on Marginal Way, towering waves at Portland Head Light and feet of snow in your driveway? While the atmosphere is already well on its way toward a more Spring-like state, if you’re interested in pushing the boundaries of long range forecasting next Winter, analysis of the stratosphere can be a valuable tool in doing just that. I’ll be back next month with more weather as we roll closer to thunderstorm season! ---Jack
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Eric’s Optimal Corner Lynette Spring Baker / Optimal Self Community Health and Wellness Center Three years ago, Sarah Brann was keeping a very tight schedule, working in the demanding field of social services while raising her then ten-year-old son. She made the time to run in the mornings and hit the gym when she could find an hour. It was here, at the gym, that someone said, “Sarah, you should consider competing in a show.” Sarah initially scoffed at the notion, “I thought they were beauty pageants! I had no idea what it meant to compete in a show. But I am competitive.” Ultimately, her competitive spirit caused her to jump into an unknown ring, “I became a competitive bodybuilder by accident.” “I did a lot of my own research. I decided to compete in November in the Women’s Bodybuilding Category and the show was in April, so I had about 20 weeks to prepare. I learned that it takes about 16 to 20 weeks to prepare for a show, so I was on track to begin. “I had never even been to a show before. I didn’t understand how a normal athlete prepared for this. I worked with a personal trainer to help me create a plan and stick to it. I watched YouTube videos to get a feel for what to expect. I had no idea that I needed a spray tan or how dark my spray tan was supposed to be. I had no idea what a ‘Pump Up Routine’ was. It’s a routine that you perform backstage to get your muscles pumped up prior to walking out on stage: crunches, resistance band curls, things like that.
friends. Your social life really becomes the gym community. It’s mentally challenging. It’s isolating. If no else in your life is prepping for a show, no one else can understand how much you second guess yourself: Is my body going to be ready? Is my diet correct? Have I put in enough work? Am I going to be good enough for the stage…good enough to win?” And yet, when prep season rolled around this past fall, Sarah Brann’s competitive side won out, again. Sarah Brann will be competing in the Women’s Figure category at the OCB (Organisation of Competitive Bodies) Bodybuilding Championship event on 14th April against bodybuilders from all over, not just Maine. A lot has changed for Sarah since she entered that first bodybuilding competition. For one, she is no longer the newcomer. She is more mentally prepared. Her body has changed, it is stronger. And what she has learned is valuable. “I wasn’t a lifter before all of this, I was an endurance runner, running 10Ks and half marathons. It takes A LOT of calories to run long distances and your muscles don’t really have a chance to build. Now, I am a bodybuilder who loves to run and I will always run. And I love my lifter’s body. I love how strong it is. I love how much food I can eat (when I am not preparing for a show). I love the shape it has taken over the last few years. I also fuel my body differently. I now know that chicken and broccoli is better for me than a slice of pizza, even though the calories may be the same. “One of the big things that I have learned in all of my preps is to be patient and to trust the process. It can be really challenging to trust that you are moving in the right direction. We live in a society that expects immediate results. And that is just not the way the body works. Immediate results do not happen. Muscle takes time to build, fat takes time to lose. If people are looking for a quick fix, they need to understand that a quick fix is not a permanent fix. Consistency and time will give you what you want.” If you ask Sarah how she is doing today, she will tell you: “I am really tired. I am really hungry. But it’s really worth it because I love it.” (EDITOR’S NOTE: Sarah is a trainer working in Portland. Feel free to drop her an e-mail at blankslatetraining@gmail.com and watch her compete at the OCB Bodybuilding Championships on the 14th at the Westbrook Performing Arts Centre. Info at www.facebook.com/events/1546984568705524/ Tickets are $25. Up Portland Is A Proud Member of the
“I didn’t have any expectations going into the actual competition, either. I just did what I was asked to do, posed how I was asked to pose, stood where I was asked to stand. When I came down from the stage, my trainer said, ‘They really liked you, they kept you in the middle.’ It was then that I learned that the judges and event coordinators keep the competitors who are scoring highly closer to the middle of the stage. And in the end, I won first place for Novice and 3rd place overall! I was surprised! I had no idea that I was truly a competitor. The pride that you feel when they call your name and you get your big trophy with everyone cheering; it’s such a great feeling! It validates all of your hard work.” Sarah would go on to compete five months later in her second show, where she competed in the Women’s Physique category, winning 1st Place Overall. She was more prepared for that show, compounding her efforts from her first. She then took the next 18 months to heal an injury. During that time, she also quit her job and became a National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM) Certified Personal Trainer. Even with her new career in the the fitness industry, she was unsure if she would compete again. “Prepping for a show can be really grueling; you follow a specific workout plan, including lifting and lots of cardio, so you have to manage time well. You eat a very specific and limited diet. Socially, your life takes a little bit of a dive because you cannot go out and eat with your friends and you cannot go out and drink with
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The Standard Reviewer
By Andrea Rouda / Up Portland’s Film & Theatre Reviewer
Bad Movies Are A Good Time Not all movies are award-winners; in fact, some are real dogs. The worst of them do everything wrong and are great fun to review... much more fun than a movie that does everything right. Following are quick takes on five old dogs with high entertainment value. See them however you can, not because they’re good but because they’re so very bad. NOAH (2014) Watching NOAH would be greatly enhanced by being either very drunk or very stoned, preferably both. (I was neither, for which I am to be pitied.) Still, it’s a must-see because it may be the worst movie ever made, and who wants to miss
w o N ! n e p O
that? Also, it features the earliest use of a home pregnancy test. Besides those perks, the music is horrible, the script pitiful, and the acting, except for an amusing cameo by Anthony Hopkins, middle-school-play quality. On the plus side, when it ends you feel happy because A, it is finally over, and B, you were not in it. You also feel sad for Russell Crowe (Noah), fallen so far since his Gladiator glory days, and for Jennifer Connelly (Noah’s Wife), about whom you ask, “Whatever happened to her and how come she stopped making movies?” Now you know. I’m no Bible scholar so don’t quote me, but I’m guessing there were no gigantic talking rocks mentioned, yet there are plenty of them in this movie. Called “The Watchers,” they are fallen angels who God punished by covering them in molten lava. Since then they live as rocks, but with hands and feet and strange faces lit from within; turns out it’s the lava talking. You won’t recognise him since all those talking rocks look alike, but their leader is played by Nick Nolte. The Great Flood is a major disappointment. It’s more like rough seas, but certainly nothing a Dramamine couldn’t handle. As for the Ark -- one minute there’s a dense forest and the next the Ark is completed, thanks to those talking rocks who turn out to be excellent boat-builders! Too bad they built it without the audience seeing as much as a hammer hitting a nail. I felt cheated. We do get to see the animals come on board, but they are so obviously computer-generated that a few hours at the local zoo is more thrilling.
Portland Pottery Café is excited to announce
the addition of evening hours Thursday – Sunday. Chef Brian Grossman has joined our team to offer a new evening endeavor known as Lena’s. This new venue will offer homemade, traditional Italian Comfort food with specialties to include lasagna, veal and eggplant parmigiana, risotto, hand made pasta, meatballs, cannoli and more! Wine and beer are now available and the food is fantastic. Hours Thursday through Saturday 5-9 pm Sunday 4-8 pm.
Portland Pottery Café continues with
its usual hours Monday – Sunday. Chef Chris Thurston has just introduced the Fall/Winter menu and there are new salads, sandwiches and small plates to be discovered. Some specials include roasted short ribs with mashed potato, butternut squash and sage risotto, beet salad and of course our continually changing variety of soups, frittatas, and desserts. All of our baked goods are made here in the café.
We hope to see you soon! Page 18
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Things get really crazy at the end. Noah loses his grip on reality and becomes a total environmental wacko, even worse than Al Gore, poised to murder his newborn grandchildren because humans must be stopped from ruining the planet. Clearly delusional, he frequently talks to God by shouting up into the clouds. Nights in Rodanthe (2008) A classic chick flick most men would never sit through, Nights in Rodanthe (2008) stars Richard Gere (Paul) the way God intended him: greying at the temples, white shirt and jeans, no bags under the eyes. His co-star, Diane Lane (Adrienne), is always fun to pretend to be, especially her hair. Set in an inn on the scenic Outer Banks of North Carolina, what’s not to love? Turns out plenty. Like, there’s a hurricane brewing and the Rickety Inn (not its real name) is already halfway in the ocean on a clear day. Literally, it’s up on stilts seemingly made of balsa wood, making you think a strong sneeze could bring it down. It takes a beating during the hurricane, but the next day there’s only a broken shutter and a skateboard flung onto the sand. (Oh, please.) Paul’s wife divorced him despite his being a brilliant surgeon because he’s
embroiled in a wrongful death lawsuit. Adrienne is trapped in a loveless marriage, her teenage daughter hates her and her nerdy 10-year-old son has asthma. Meeting in a romantic setting – she’s the innkeeper, he’s researching his case -they each drop their emotional baggage and fall in love. Instantly they’re having sex, the cinematic kind where you have to watch her unbutton his shirt, button by button, and watch him unzip her dress, etc., making you wonder what could possibly be on the cutting-room floor if not this scene. Adrienne leaves her husband because she has found her soulmate. Paul feels the same way, except first he has to patch things up with his estranged son who lives in South Africa but he’ll be right back so they can start their new life together. Their sappy love letters keep the flame burning, and Adrienne gets even prettier just reading them. Paul is forgiven by the son he mistreated as a kid, and guess what? Just as he’s getting ready to go home, Paul dies in a mudslide. Did not see that coming! (I sobbed for 15 minutes.) Arbitrage (2012) In recent years I have found that the worse the film, the more fun you have. Also, and this is no small thing considering ticket prices these days, if you choose carefully, many movies can be quite educational. I learned a ton watching Arbitrage. Not being wise in the ways of high finance, or even low finance, the very word “arbitrage” was unknown to me and I had to look it up in the dictionary. So before the movie even started I had learned something. Once it got going I learned that Susan Sarandon had a facelift, that Richard Gere’s (Robert) eyes are gradually disappearing, and most important, it’s never a good idea to drive when you are tired. (Spoiler alert for the faint of heart: Bad car crash.)
A Most Wanted Man (2014) Despite paying attention you likely will be clueless about what’s happening for the entire two hours of this film. I certainly was, which was odd since it’s entirely in English, my native tongue. It stars Phillip Seymour Hoffman, still a great actor despite being dead. In fact, this being one of his last films, it may be what led him to OD on heroin. The whole tone is dark, somber, and depressing. Hoffman plays Gunther, either a German spy or a double agent, we’re never quite sure. He spends much of his time smoking cigarettes and drinking whiskey -- on the rocks, in his coffee or out of a flask. That’s all we know for certain. With a German accent that comes and goes, Gunther is tracking down a Russian man who arrived in the city of Hamburg via container ship. Since Hamburg was where the 9/11 plotters did their plotting, the cops and all other peace keepers remain paranoid and look for anyone that smells like trouble. There’s a rich Arab who might be supplying money to jihadists. There’s a pretty American lawyer (Rachel McAdams) helping the Russian get asylum so he won’t be sent home and be tortured. Robin Wright plays the Head of Spying for someone, who knows who. She is memorable here for a shiny black wig that looks exactly like a giant Hitler mustache plastered onto her head. Willem Dafoe is scary-looking but turns out to be a nice guy. (Possibly.) There is no sex, no violence, or action of any type. Nobody ever fixes a meal or eats anything. It’s all quite confusing. In fact, if you find this review confusing, I have done my job; now you know what seeing this movie feels like. The ending is abrupt.
Robert suffers an injury and is bleeding internally, causing him intense facial grimacing and abdominal swelling. It’s really, really, really painful at first, and the next day it still hurts him a lot and he grimaces when nobody is looking but is simply too damn busy earning a living to seek medical care. By the third day the pain is totally gone and neither you nor he ever think about it again. Teachable moment: If you hurt yourself really badly, just ignore it. The Descendants (2011) Perfect for a pre-med student planning on specialising in critical care, this George Clooney movie leaves you begging for less: less Clooney, less coma, less narrative voice-over, and most of all, less Hawaiian music. The thin plot about a family selling the last bit of pristine land in all of Hawaii to evil developers for an obscene profit takes a backseat to mom in a coma, post-water-skiing accident. We see her clutching a washcloth in her bony hands quite often, and her yellowing sunken cheeks have so much screen time they probably had their own dressing room. Clooney plays the absent-until-now workaholic father to two daughters, one still a cute little girl and the other a wise-to-the world, foul-mouthed teenager. They both start out blatantly resentful of dad but end up as bosom buddies; the three of them snuggling on the couch and sharing ice cream out of one bowl with one spoon (gross) after mom is safely out to sea... and I do mean out to sea. Along the way we are treated to a few shots of beautiful Hawaii, but it’s always the exact same spot so don’t come expecting a travelogue. There’s also Beau Bridges as a long-haired hippie with a giant paunch offering comic relief from the comatose mother you wish would die already. Basically, The Descendants is a George Clooney-is-so-handsome star vehicle disguised as a meaningful statement about the value of family and the importance of posterity. There are some fine performances by the youngsters, and possibly one funny line since I remember laughing out loud, but that could have been for a dozen other reasons. A bonus for you fashionistas: there are lots and lots of Hawaiian shirts.
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Mark: My Words By Mark Gatti / Mark’s Hotdogs Like a spawning salmon returning to its tributary of hatch, so I returned to Tommy’s park the last Monday in March... to my world of hotdog selling and streetside counselling. Spending these past Winter months at Maine Medical Centre kept me warm, fit (15 miles of walking per shift) and in steady paycheques. It also afforded me the opportunity to meet many nice people there: patients and co-workers alike. The time spent away from my food business re – charged my batteries and served as a reminder to how much I enjoy being self – employed. Just like in past seasons when I was absent some Winter months, returning felt very familiar but also oddly brand-new. A creature of habit, all it takes for me is
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a few months off routine to feel a bit like a young hotdog apprentice again. In a few short hours this feeling of newness lifts like a coastal fog attacked by a ridge of high pressure from Canada, but it’s there from the start. Driving in on my first day back soon made me aware of how beaten up our Portland streets are. Potholes that have been around for awhile appear to be on a heavy dose of steroids and reminded me of moon craters. Numerous smaller potholes seem to have sprouted over the past few months, leaving not much level flat pavement to drive on. The holes were barely noticeable to me when driving without towing a trailer, but driving with a hotdog stand in tow has become a tactical exercise in street navigation. Not wanting to get a flat tyre or damage the undercarriage of either of my car or trailer, I take it slow and easy and dodge any huge potholes while trying to drive into on-coming traffic. Successfully navigating down to my site these first days has been challenging with the change in our quality of paved roads, but achieved with no damage. There have been a few changes at my work surroundings as well. Two restaurants have closed with brand-new ones taking their places. The nice manager of the nearby coffee shop is having a baby soon. The number of panhandlers in the area appears to be the same, but the faces are new. What happened to the panhandlers who were here last year? Steve, an old acquaintance and fixture in the Old Port sadly passed away while I
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was gone. I still have some bakery treats he gave me back in November. He gave me so many that I froze some. They remain in my freezer, for now in memory of this kind man. Another small change: one of the benches next my stand is somewhat damaged but still serviceable. Probably a close calamity caused by rowdy nocturnal creatures. Speaking of these recent changes at my place of work reminds me of what my immediate surroundings looked like back in 1983, my first year in business. Tommy’s park itself was flat and sodded with turfgrass. There was a magnificent pine tree right in the middle of the park. A bandstand stood in the far left-hand corner and great regional and local bands would play there at lunchtime during the Summer. The perimeter of the park was lined with log benches and there were a half dozen picnic tables on the lawn. The mural on the front-facing building depicted a street scene from the 1890s. Now it is a rendering of the Old Post office, which stood across the street, but was torn down years ago. The park that is directly across from Tommy’s, called Post Office Park, was a parking lot until 1993! Also missing now from our area is a magnificent ram weathervane that was perched atop the old Ram building on Middle Street. It mysteriously disappeared sometime in the 1990s, to my knowledge without any substantive clues. Thinking about all these physical changes to the area over the past 35 years gives me reason to believe that our little nook in the city will look much different again 35 years from now. What hasn’t changed are the great number of awesome people in the Tommy’s park area. Upon returning this year I was moved at how grateful everyone was to have me back again. A number of the folks are customers and friends who enrich me monetarily and otherwise. Those not customers, but still friends, enrich my soul in ways that money cannot measure. I am left with a feeling of love, warmth, and connection. An old local acquaintance of mine, Kirk, recently told me that once my food cart is gone an era will be over. This reminds me that my little business has been a comforting constant to many in an otherwise constantly changing world. One last thought of note this early springtime… There is another seagull couple taking up residence in the park… A fairly large male I have named King III and a petite female I call Queenie. Following in the tradition of the long-time original King and the wildly erratic and short-lived King Junior, already there have been a few thefts of hotdogs by this stealthy, but savvy, couple. I will keep up my guard as best I can and warn all customers when the opportunistic pair is lurking about. Until next month, I wish everyone a happy Spring and hopefully no April snowstorms. Cheers!
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