Volume 42 Issue 26 by The Communicator

Wednesday, April 11, 2011

www.ipfwcommunicator.org

Vol. 42 Issue 26

The Communicator | April 11, 2012

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news

Adaptive Sports Get Disabled Competing Again

Photo by Michael Deaton

It’s like any other sports practice. 70s rock plays in the sound system. Banners hang on the gym walls showing championship wins in volleyball, tennis and basketball. 10 men, sweating with exercise, chase a basketball up and down the court. But rather than the sound of tennis shoes hitting the gym floor, it’s the rolling of wheels. This is the practice of the Turnstone Bandits, Fort Wayne’s championship-winning wheelchair basketball team. They rank in Division III of the National Wheelchair Basketball Association. Each of the players has a disability that prevents them from playing regular sports and they come from all over the Fort Wayne area. Four of the athletes are current and former IPFW students. Wheelchair basketball and other games such as power soccer and sled hockey belong to adaptive sports. They keep all the rules but add a twist. For example, a player must dribble once for every two pushes of the chair or it is traveling. But apart from the addition of wheelchairs on the court, the game is the same—and just as competitive. It’s the competition that brought many of these athletes to play.

He eventually found an activity where he could compete and associate with other people with similar disabilities. Now, he competes in more sports than the average ablebodied person: basketball, powerlifting, shotput, tennis, power soccer and even cross country are all on his list. He has even taken home medals for his athletic ability. In August 2011, he took home a silver in shotput and a gold in powerlifting at the Valor Games, a sports championship event for wounded veterans. Now he’s in training to defend his title, still in good lifting form. “I always say that if it wasn’t for adaptive sports, I wouldn’t be in college,” said Leonard. “I probably wouldn’t be alive … when I say it saved my life, it saved my life.”

Even With Injury, Competition Exists

Good for the Body and the Mind

Jessica Geyer

Tim Leonard, an English major at IPFW, is one of these all out competitors. That mindset came from before his injury. “I was active, I was doing things,” said Leonard. “Just for fun, I went to a professional wrestling school … I was living a regular life.” He even went through police officer training and eventually joined the Army. “I was very fit when I was in the Army. I was a big guy,” said Leonard. His old pictures show a man with huge biceps, someone who certainly spent a lot of time in the gym. It was in the Army when Leonard was injured. “Then you have a doctor come in and tell you can’t walk, or there’s a very minimal chance you’ll be able to walk without a walker. It’s like a slap in the face,” he said. After Leonard was confined to a wheelchair, he stopped competing and stopped being active. He gained quite a bit of weight and lost his previous physique. “I would just sit at home and watch Maury, find out who the baby daddy is,” he said. He was not himself. “It wasn’t healthy.” Luckily, Leonard did not remain a homebody.

club or teams. “It’s not right on campus, it’s not that easy to get to,” said Gruss about Turnstone. And at IPFW, students in wheelchairs cannot participate in intramural sports. Leonard, for example, signed up for intramural basketball and was told he couldn’t play in games because it was a liability to the university. He can’t even be on the team roster. “I’m a ‘coach,’” said Leonard, accenting his words with finger quotations. “I have friends, I wasn’t to get on the court and play with them … It’s not the school’s fault, but there’s people who want to play, there’s people who want to compete. Why not give them that?”

“Then you have a doctor come in and tell you you can’t walk, or there’s a very minimal chance you’ll be able to walk without a walker. It’s like a slap in the face.” -Leonard

But is it Accessible?

Shelby Gruss, another IPFW athlete on the Turnstone Bandits, has a similar story. She played many sports before her injury, including basketball, cross country and softball. It was only recently that she began playing adaptive sports. “I was a very competitive person growing up,” said Gruss. What really got her back into sports after her injury was skiing. “It’s great to be back in the lull of things.” “We’re still human,” said Leonard. “We still have that competitive edge.” That’s why so many athletes show up to Turnstone, a not-for-profit that serves people with disabilities in terms of rehabilitation and recreation. The camaraderie and action of being on a sports team can also be mentally therapeutic to the athletes. “It’s a good self-esteem builder,” said Shane McVoy, a former student of IPFW. “To be able to sweat and play with these guys, it’s just a good feeling.” However, Turnstone is the closest place someone can play on an adaptive sports team in Fort Wayne. Currently, IPFW has no adaptive sports

Some Leave Fort Wayne Because it Lacks Teams

Not only do students have limited opportunities to play, but some adaptive sports athletes have moved out of state to continue competing in college because of IPFW’s lack of teams. Kevin Hughes, sports and recreation coordinator for Turnstone, said he could name 15 people off the top of his head that left the Fort Wayne area to compete. They traveled instead to places like the University of Illinois, Southwest Minnesota State University and Edinboro University of Pennsylvania. “These students … they went for peer competition,” said Hughes. “I know many kids do not want to move to University of Minnesota. They want to stay local.” “I think location-wise, regionally we’re in a very good position, especially when it comes to basketball,” Hughes added. “If you had a student or a child who lived within 45 minutes of IPFW and they can compete and go to school, why not?” said Leonard. ► Continued on pg. 10

The Communicator | April 11, 2012

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Voice from

Azerbaijan

Alan Tse is an international student at IPFW. His column is to be international student-related. The opinions reflected are his own and do not necessarily reflect those of The Communicator.

Campaigning is allowed only one month before the election, and every candidate gets 10 [minutes] per week on TV. That’s pretty much it. What do the protestors want? We just want fair elections. We want to be able to choose our government, so that the government will work for us. What role does religion play in politics? It’s hard to answer. Even though the majority of the population is Shia Muslims ... I’d say Jews and Christians affect the government more because of foreign influence from Israel and Russia. The Mossad [the “CIA” of Israel] fills our government with money. ... Some big nice churches were built Tse: What does the government look like in with government’s funding. But many mosques Azerbaijan? Is there an election at all? were shut down. Shukurh: On document there is ... but the Azerbaijan is a pretty secular country, certainly winner was pretty much known before the more secular than Turkey. The government even election. People never got the chance to choose banned wearing veils in some public places. It’s their president at all. The former president was pretty sad, considering that in most Western Heydar Aliyev, then he died, and his son became countries this is not banned. … Most people live the president. The current government is corrupt their religion in a modern way. … They are not and illegitimate. They were never elected; they just radical at all. declared power on their own. What makes you so passionate about In the parliamentary level, elections were never politics? fair. There are only like four or five opposition seats The main reason is that I grew up seeing a lot in the Parliament right now. The pro-government of messed up things in my country, like lots of party got the majority of the seats. So people never people being thrown into jail for no reason. I was get to vote. traumatized as a child, and I cried a lot. Lots of my In the past couple years, people just gave up family members ended up in jail just because my on elections. They wouldn’t watch the campaign— mom’s uncle was an opposition leader. Last name not that there is any “campaign” to speak of. plays a big role.

One of my uncles is a rich businessman. He didn’t care about politics at all, but still got arrested and put in jail for nine years. Every cousin of my mom has served some kind of time in the jail, so did all of her uncles. My dad served only minor amount of time. I guess I got lucky because lots of my cousins never saw their fathers for like a 10year span. I did not know my uncle until I was 14 because he was in jail. When he was thrown in jail I was only 5. When he got out of jail I didn’t remember him at all because I never got a chance to visit him. It’s not just my family. You can get in a cab, and in a five minute drive, the cab driver would tell you so many stories from his family that you just want to sit there and cry. What do you like most about the US after living here for two years? Definitely the freedom of speech. I love freedom of speech here: in classrooms, public places, political realm. … Here in the US, people can voice their opinion without being judge for their opinion; they are judged only for their actions. Whereas in my country you don’t get to say stuff. No one [asks] for your opinion. The government, the school administration ... they kind of decide for you ... and you’re just supposed to comply with that. And I don’t like that. After I moved to the US, I started associating Azerbaijan story continues on pg. 4 

Being a political dissident in an authoritarian country is no fun. Azerbaijan - the former soviet country of 9 million landlocked in the middle of Turkey, Iran and Russia - is no fun. Human Right Watch reported that in 2011, “the government cracked down on all forms of protest and imprisoned dozens of youth activists after sham trials.” This week, Tse spoke with Toghrul Shukurh, an international student from Azerbaijan. A selfdescribed patriot, political activist and moderate Muslim, Togh had a lot to say about politics in his country and the United States.

The Communicator | April 11, 2012

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news&politics

Student Senator Absences Cause Trouble for Senate A publication of Indiana-Purdue Student Newpapers, Inc.

EDITORIAL STAFF Editor-in-Chief Kristan Mensch Advertising Manager Amanda RICHMAN Managing Editor Laura Rosenbaum Graphic Designer Currently Hiring Production Assistant James Farr Sports Editor Currently Hiring A&E Editor Currently Hiring News Editor Jessica Geyer Web Editor Emily Westhoff Staff Writer Dennis Barbosa Publisher MATT McCLURE

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The only exposure most students get to the Student Senate is when they’re putting a funding request into student government. The Senate encourages these student organization representatives to attend the weekly Monday meetings, dress professionally and present their request in person. So most set aside the noontime from both work and academics to come. Three times this year, however, students weren’t able to present because the senators didn’t come. The problem comes with the IPSGA constitution, which requires a majority of senators to be present in order to make quorum. Without it, any business has to be postponed. Currently there are 16 senators, which means that nine must attend in order for the meeting to continue. “Attending is kind of important,” said vice president of legislation (VPL) Joe Magistri. He presides over the Senate and runs their meetings. “Quorum is a requirement for us to conduct business.” This semester, there has been a problem with getting the senators, who are there on a completely volunteer basis. Twice this semester and once last semester, the majority of student senators did not attend meetings. The first time it happened was during the very first session of Senate. “I thought it was a great Jessica Geyer

Azerbaijan t continued from pg. 3 with people and talk with them about things like politics and religion. I realized sometimes people don’t like me because I’m foreign, but they still respect my opinion no matter what my background is. And I am entitled freedom of speech. Even if some people don’t like to listen to me, the Constitution protects my freedom of speech. What do you think about the US political system? It is as good as it gets as a system, because each institution has a regulatory institution above

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start to the year,” Magistri said sarcastically. But after that, there were no more problems during the fall semester. This year, senators have shown up late or not at all enough so that it has become a problem for the legislative branch. “It really frustrates me,” said Magistri. “I spend my week preparing for the meeting.” Not only that, but it can be very inconvenient for students who need funding. “I think it is completely unprofessional,” said Magistri, when the Senate wants students to show up in person to request money, but can’t meet quorum. “It’s just not fair.” That’s why Magistri wants students to be able to present their funding requests to the present senators, even if a vote can’t be held. That way they have a chance to adequately represent their organization’s needs. Despite the voluntary basis upon which student senators attend meetings, there is an attendance policy. Each senator gets two unexcused absences before being eligible for removal from Senate. “I was a bit lenient on [the policy] which led to this issue,” said Magistri. During their meeting on April 2nd, two senators were removed because of attendance issues. One of them had never attended meetings. ►Continued online at ipfwcommunicator.org

it. All persons are entitled to have his opinion in the govt. It’s all about consensus in most cases. Trial by jury is probably the best thing that has ever happened to humanity. I don’t know why any other government is not trying to implement that. Is there something you don’t like about the system? I don’t like how businessmen get to be governors or congressman. I believe if you are in office, you should be a patriot, and you should have no personal gain in it whatsoever. ... People in higher government positions are just powerful rich businessman who went to law school. I don’t believe that’s right. Big businesses should not have so much influence in politics.

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EDITORIAL POLICY Editorials are the opinion of The Communicator. The opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of IPFW, its employees or its student body. A column is solely the opinion of its author. The Communicator welcomes responses. Letters to the Editor must be signed, dated and accompanied by a current address, telephone number and class standing/major or title (if applicable). Letters not meeting these requirements will not be considered for publication. All submissions made via e-mail will be verified by telephone or in person. Addresses and telephone numbers will not be published. Submissions must be typed and no more than 700 words. The editorial board of The Communicator reserves the right to edit all submissions for length, grammar, style, and clarity. Letters deemed potentially libelous by the editorial board will not be published under any circumstances.

The Communicator | April 11, 2012

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news&politics Student Candidate Forums Fail to Attract Audience

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

SINCERELY, Patrick Deady Senior Anthropology Major

And Candidates

Illustration by David Seman

Your editorial on the small pool of candidates leads one to channel John McEnroe who famously said “You can’t be serious!!” in a shocked tone. As a three year member of Student Activities Board as well as a Student Senator for one semester, I have two points to make regarding IPSGA that may be relevant and important to the issue. The first point involves the decisions of the people in charge of the Communicator itself to not cover the student government at all in any meaningful way. This not only extends to student government but to IPFW sports activities as well. Any issue of the Communicator in the past two semesters has had extremely limited coverage of events on IPFW’s campus while giving actions on Indiana and Purdue’s campuses extensive coverage. You can see this particularly well in the coverage of sports where IPFW’s teams received no coverage in the fall semester and very limited coverage in the spring semester. The sports events on the mother campuses especially Indiana actually received better coverage overall than the local teams. The lack of coverage of student government certainly helps to explain why there were so few candidates for student government positions even though those positions are part-time jobs earning $10 an hour for up to 20 hours per week for the executive officers. I have a difficult time understanding why you can have two pages of fake news in the Nugget a la the Daily Show but you can’t assign those same writers to actual events happening on campus. The second point involves the attitude of the Administration where they have systematically ignored student government when it comes to decisions that will impact the student body critically in important ways. The critical decisions involving the closing of the child care center, the freezing of the IPSGA budget and the imposition of the computer lab printing fee were all undertaken by fiat without any student government input. Another important point is that student government has zero control over the funds that they supposedly are given to proctor on student’s behalf. The Student Senate spends hours debating endlessly over whether this group or that individual will receive funding. In reality, this means that the Student Senate does nothing to actually represent students to the Administration when critical issues are involved that impact the total student body. In summary, the student government has become fairly irrelevant in the decision making process by the Administration in critical issues facing the total student body. This lack of information available on what the student government is doing [the Communicator aspect] as well as the Administration’s total ignorance of student government input on critical decisions [the Chancellor’s policy decision aspect] can only lead the vast majority of students to care less what is going on with IPSGA. For this situation to change, you have to have a change at the Communicator and a change in the Administration’s attitude toward student government.

Nothing gets students interested in school politics like free food. It was Fazoli’s and Buffalo Wild Wings that attracted the crowds to the Student Candidate Open Forums on April 4 and 5. The forums were the only two IPSGA student debates held before the Spring Fling elections. They were meant to introduce the candidates to the student body in a deeper way than the meet and greets in Walb Union. They would also allow a comparison between the candidates and a chance to pose questions and suggestions to each of them. But the free food wasn’t enough to attract the student government candidates to the forums. On both days, the seven chairs behind the podium were mostly empty. On the fourth, the only candidates present were Jacob Monroe, running for student body president, and Bradley Crow, running for vice president for legislation. The forum on the fifth had the same original turnout, but student body presidential candidate Matthew Bokhart attended later. The candidates were also pressed for questions. Larry Barnhart, the mediator for both forum days, was reduced to begging the audience to ask anything—largely to a silent response. The few students that did have questions were easily drowned out in the noise of side conversations held by the uninterested eaters. Most students attended the forum simply because of the lunch that was offered. On the first forum day, there was a large line waiting for the doors to open, but less than 20 actually stayed. That led the election board to ask students to stay while they ate on Thursday. However, as soon as the wings were gone, the students disappeared as well. When asked why Jessica Geyer

they attended the forum, psychology major Kaleigh Jones and business major Jessica Fairfield responded in tandem, “For food.” Fairfield also said that she was genuinely interested in the candidates: “It influences IPFW.” However, the lack of candidates in attendance was disappointing. “We still got to hear their opinions, but we didn’t get to compare them,” said Fairfield. “It isn’t really that fair to students to see only one or two candidates,” said Crowe. But the lack of student government hopefuls wasn’t necessarily because of lack of interest. Academic and work conflicts were involved. Even Monroe had to leave after he introduced himself on Thursday because of a class. ► Continues Online at ipfwcommunicator.org

Arts&Entertainme Music Movies

And

Men Of Monsters and Men seem to be everywhere these days. The Iceland based indiefolk group, currently on a successful U.S. Tour, has been featured on large media juggernauts including iTunes and have recently released their major label debut titled “Of Monsters and Men” on Universal Republic Records. Despite how painless it may be to write this group off as a flavor of the week folk-group, this group is something special. They might not be the most accessible in the current wave of popular indie-folk and they might not write the catchiest melodies, but they don't really need either to create something memorable. Their songs are flooded with emotion without spilling and becoming an obnoxious mess for some poor sap to clean up. It's heartfelt and will move the listener if they give it a fair chance. The stories that lyrically make up the songs give the lackluster band name meaning and drop the listener into a different place that is both similar and unlike anything ever seen before. For fans of Fanfarlo or The Decemberists “My Head is an Animal” is a must listen. John Small

Dennis Barbosa

Monsters

Theater

CS3toHostBikeand

“Despite states’ efforts, there is no county in the country where an individual can work 40 hours per week at the minimum wage and afford even a one-bedroom apartment at the local fair market rent,” according to Micah and Andrea Rapp’s blog. Micah and Andrea plan to ride their bikes 3,800 miles this summer in order to promote affordable housing across the country. Calhoun Street Soups, Salads, And Spirits (Cs3) will be hosting a concert, raffle and silent auction this Sunday to benefit their cause. Biking in one of eight cross country routes, Micah and Andrea will be building houses for low-income families

with a non-profit organization called B “The proceeds from our events wil attention around the affordable housin affordable housing projects executed according to Bike and Build’s brochure This Cs3 event will feature local ba “We’re going to have dozens of item businesses,” said Micah. A few of the businesses include Dining and New Republic Tattoo, w items such as gift cards for the raffle. “The silent auction is going to focu Micah.

ent

The Communicator | April 11, 2012

dBuildCharityEvent

Bike and Build. ll be used to gain media ng problem and to fund d by young adults…,” e. ands and artists. ms available from various

El Azteca, Chop’s Fine which have contributed

us more on artwork,” said

Some artists who will have their paintings and photography auctioned off include Donny Manco, Patty Eykholt and Mikenna White. Executive director Justin Berger.will be speaking for Habitat for Humanity Sunday, one of the charities Bike and Build contributes to. “Hearing about an opportunity to ride my bike across the country while helping out individuals in need just seemed like a natural thing to do,” said Micah. Home is Where the Music is, an all ages charity event, will take place from 5 to 10 p.m. at Cs3, 1915 S. Calhoun St.

6-7

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Spring Fling Sunday: Student Housing 5-8 p.m. - cook out, slip n' slide, food and free beach towels. Monday: Science Mall 11-2 p.m. - Chik Fil-A and free, colorful sunglasses. Tuesday: Fieldhouse 11-2 p.m. - Free T-shirts and pizza. Venderly Family Bridge 2-6 p.m. - Hog Roast, zipline and freebies. Wednesday: Majestic Grassy Knoll 11-2 p.m. - picnic and free bottle openers. Science Mall 10-4 p.m. - Blood Drive. Thursday: Science Mall 11-2 p.m. - Penn Station, free cups, hula hoops, music and more. Science Mall 10-4 p.m. - Blood Drive. Friday: Science Mall 11-2 p.m. Frisbee with Panda Express. Saturday: 9-12 p.m. - Weekend Breakfast Celebration.

Photo by Mikenna White

The Communicator | April 11, 2012

www.ipfwcommunicator.org

Dennis Barbosa

There is currently a nationwide movement to permit handguns on college campuses. Last year over 13 states proposed bills that would allow students and faculty to carry concealed firearms on campus. "And there are far more bills to allow guns than to prohibit them," said Brenda Bautsch, an education-policy analyst with the National Conference of State Legislatures. The question we should be asking ourselves is: why this is so, and could there be any prejudices against licensed gun holders that are standing in the way of these bills? "Almost every gun crime that's ever happened has occurred with people who aren't licensed," said Republican Sen. Jim Banks of Columbia City, author of bill 0181 which would have permitted guns on campus had it passed. This issue has been fiercely debated since mass school shootings such as those at Virginia Tech, Columbine High School and Northern Illinois University. According to a ruling by the Oregon Court of Appeals in September of last year, Western Oregon University’s decision to suspend a student for carrying a handgun was overturned. The court ruled that the university did not have the authority to prevent a student or faculty member to possess a firearm if they were licensed to do so. Utah is the only state so far which permits guns on state campuses. Opponents, such as Gunfreekids.org, overlook the fact that responsible licensed gun holders are not to blame for school shootings but people exhibiting strange behavior such as in the case of Jared Lee Loughner who was charged last year with shooting Arizona Representative Gabrielle Giffords in Tucson and killing six others. According to gunfreekids.org website, “… the National Rifle Association ‘NRA’ and the gun industry use vast sums of money to block passage of sensible gun legislation -- laws that are designed to reduce death and injury and create safer communities.” People such as Loughner and Seung Hui Cho, Virginia Tech shooter, are mentally ill and preventing guns on campus will not prevent such shooting sprees from happening but precautions which monitor strange student behavior. IPFW and St. Francis are taking such precautions, according to a story by News Channel 15. Could it be possible that the shooters are responsible for the deaths in school shootings and not the NRA? Perhaps the IPFW Behavioral Intervention Team (BIT) should change their Purpose Statement from monitoring “student behavior which seems strange, erratic, angry, troubled, or otherwise inappropriate or unusual” to reporting “licensed gun holders exercising their Second Amendment right.” "People who are licensed to carry guns in Oregon meet a certain criteria," said Kevin Starrett, executive director of the Oregon Firearms Educational Foundation. "They do not suddenly lose their minds when they step on a college campus." ►Dennis.barbosa@ ipfwcommunicator.org

Guns On

Campus?

Staff

Debates Proposed Once Shot Down

Bill

opinion

Laura Rosenbaum

Senator Jim Banks proposed a bill late in 2011 that would allow licensed gun holders to carry weapons on public college campuses. Private universities would be unaffected and left to follow their current policies. Because Banks’ bill did not pass, IPFW’s official policy on firearm possession remains “strictly forbidden.” However, a new version of the bill could be introduced in the next session of the Indiana congress. The second amendment, or the right of U.S. citizens to keep and bear arms, has been a contention point between those who believe that every American has the right to own a gun if they wish and those who think weapons in the hands of everyday citizens leads to unnecessary violence. Although the right to bear arms shouldn’t be removed from citizens, there are certain places where carrying a gun probably isn’t the best idea, college campuses in particular. Legislators who have tried to pass similar bills in other states have done so with the reasoning that if guns were allowed on campuses, students would be better able to defend themselves in situations where firearms might be necessary. While the intent might be noble, the reality is that most traditional college students are between the ages of 18 and 22, and putting weapons into their hands might not be the best decision. All individuals mature at different ages, but studies in neuroscience have shown that the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain in control of impulses and good judgment, doesn’t finish developing well into the 20s. Psychology professor Kenneth Bordens suggested it is not extremely likely that a permit holder would “pose a threat of harming others over trivial incidents on campus.” However, simply having the guns on campus could potentially lead to more injuries and deaths if those with access to them are involved in highly emotional confrontations with other students or faculty. Proponents of the various bills have stated that not allowing firearms to be carried on public college campuses is unconstitutional. Granted, U.S. citizens do have the right to carry guns, but they also have the choice not to exercise that right. The Purdue University Student Senate vetoed a measure in November that would have allowed guns to be carried on the campus. According to coverage by the Indy Channel, neither students nor officials felt that allowing guns would be the best way to ensure public safety at the university. Some students interviewed for the Indy Channel article believed that there are other forms of protection available, such as stun guns and mace. This makes sense when it is suggested by self-defense websites that carrying a weapon without proper training makes it easier for an assailant to turn the weapon against the victim. And there are no training requirements when it comes to getting a carrier’s license. If gun rights is to be an issue on campuses, it should come down to the students, as in the case with Purdue. Legislators, who are not in college and likely not recent college graduates, don’t understand the dynamic of a college campus. Therefore, whether or not guns should be permissible to carry should come down to a dialogue between students and university officials on each campus. ►Laura.rosenbaum@ ipfwcommunicator.org

The Communicator | April 11, 2012

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the nugget

New Hand Dryers Threaten to Make Student’s Pants Wet Two or three times a day, one can see math major Joey Goops making a trek from his haven in Kettler Hall to the student services center in Walb Union. Despite the five minutes it takes to get there and back, he only stays in Walb for a few minutes, emerging without food and generally empty handed. So why would someone take a whole half hour out of their day just for a quick stop across campus? "The new hand dryers are so cool," Goops explained to The Nugget. Goops first visited the new bathrooms after having to park in the Walb garage one busy Monday. "I drank about three cups of coffee, that morning, and it takes a good fifteen minutes to get here from my house," he said. "Of course I ran to the first restroom I saw." It was there Goops became amazed with the super-powered blowers. "They actually make the skin move on my hands," said Goops. "Why wouldn't I use them?" So from then on, Goops exclusively used the new restrooms, always leaving with extra dry hands and a grin on his face. But the fun doesn't come without its costs. "One of my bathroom breaks always happens around 1 or 1:15 p.m., but I have a class at 1:30," Jessica Geyer

Goops said. Because of this, he is often late. Daryl Doits, Goops's calculus professor, said the extended breaks are making the student's grades suffer. "Sometimes he leaves in the middle of class and comes back fifteen minutes later. Sometimes he's up to ten minutes late. If he would just a use a Kettler restroom, his attendance would be just fine," he said. Psycho-urologist Dr. Flo Engwater said that Goops's habit is a dangerous obsession. "The boy needs counseling," she said. "If he can't stop visiting the dryers, he may stop being able to use the bathroom in his own home." Engwater also said that Goops is an accident waiting to happen. "Imagine what happens if he drinks a lot of water and has to wait for one of his classes to end before going to the restroom. His bladder is already strained," Engwater said. "The five minutes it takes to walk to Walb could make it impossible to hold it in, and his bladder will leak or even burst. Not to mention it's bad for his kidneys." "I'm not worried about it," said Goops. "I'm great at holding it in. I haven't had an accident since I was potty trained." But Engwater sees a grim future for Goops. "It's just a matter of time before he needs a dryer for something other than his hands," she said. "I'm talking about his pants. He will wet his pants."

For IPFW Math major Stacy Mawm, she thought she had her entire life figured out. Go to IPFW, get a degree in Math Education, and go on to teach it wherever she could. Or maybe discover some new theorem that would shake the world. Either way, her passion was and would always be math. “My family always said that I was like a computer,” she said. “I would be able to do these complex equations in my head. I did my parents taxes for them faster than the person we paid to do them. I always won poker. I sometimes think they hated me,” she joked. However, with the recent release of the new game Draw Something, she found a brand new obsession and passion. “My parents were counting on me to do their taxes. I just wanted to draw,” she explained. “I now have over 1,000 coins,” she bragged. “I went out and bought a tablet to better help my skills.” “She makes such obscure drawings,” said a friend who had played with her and wished to remain anonymous. “Like, I heard she drew a cannibal and expected everyone to understand it was Ke$ha. Yes, there is a song called cannibal by her. But really! She’s not even that good!” Mawm now plans to switch her major from math to her new beloved, art. “I’ll go on to draw beautiful Picasso-esque muffled crying, as Laptonini laid in front of the pieces, ” she claimed, “and I’ll totally be famous. door. One witness, Clark Harpiloni, recalled that “the injury didn’t look too bad; just a tiny red I’m really good in Draw Something, so how hard mark. He was kind of a baby for somebody of his can real life be?” size.” In a press release outside of Parkview, Whiner looking for audience to hear Laptonini stated that he “was feeling better. But I antiquated and highly repetitive material. Old still can’t believe that stupid door wouldn’t open.” favorites include “Why Classes Suck,” “If I Were Laptonini was held an additional night at Parkview Running This Country” and “Nobody Ever Pays so doctors could monitor his recovery, and apply Attention to Me When I Talk.” more kisses and smiley-face bandages as needed. Surprisingly, this was not the first incident with Have you accepted the great Steamed Carrot into the infamous door, as just last month Becky Supini your life? Worship services held every saturday afternoon behind the campus greenhouse, stubbed her toe kicking the door in frustration. followed by fellowship and communal carrot steaming. Open to devout followers and searching students alike. Extra orange morph suits and green beanies are available at the door and required to be worn during services.

Student Tackles Door, Still Won’t Open John Laptonini, senior in Education, was hospitalized after receiving a booboo on his left shoulder after tackling a door in the Walb parking garage. Witnesses said they saw Laptonini struggling to open the door on the second floor of the parking complex, but he couldn’t. After 10 minutes of pushing and kicking, Laptonini eventually tackled the door, which still remained unmoved. Witnesses said after tackling the door, Laptonini immediately curled into the fetal position, clutching his shoulder. Those around Laptonini could soon hear what appeared to be Sean O’Leary

Student Believes She is “Drawesome”

The

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sports

► Continued from pg. 2

of classrooms and lecture halls, “and it sucks,” he said. That was one of the reasons Leonard, Gruss And although IPFW has been accommodatand others have decided to start an adaptive sports ing with electric doors, elevators and even dorm club on campus. Not only will it give students a rooms for people with wheelchairs and service chance to compete in their favorite sports, but it dogs like Leonard’s dog Ginger, it does still have is, they say, a good way to bring more students to its flaws. Recently, Leonard and a friend were in enroll in IPFW. the basement of Neff when the elevators stopped “It will give a reason for people who are dis- working. With the help of IPFW’s police and fire, abled to get together and have fun,” said Gruss. he had to get out of his chair and crawl up the “It’s just a good social gathering.” stairs because there was no other exit. Being able to associate with other people who have disabilities can mean a lot in a world that constantly reminds them the majority is able-bodied. “It’s a completely different world. We do things differently,” said Leonard. “You don’t get to see us a lot.” But one way the university can further help its students with disabilities is the adaptive sports club, tentatively called the Adaptodons. Currently, the constitution for the club has already been written, and all that is left is for IPSGA to pass it. And so that athletes like Leonard can play with their friends, the club will be open to disabled and able-bodied a like. Though IPFW is very friendly toward people “No matter what your disability is, there is a with wheelchairs, said Leonard, some places in sport for you,” said Leonard. “Not only is there Fort Wayne simply aren’t built with him in mind. a sport, it’s one you can succeed in … No matter Restaurant bathrooms that claim to be handicap- what your disability is, you can play.” accessible, for example, might not have enough “I think once the word gets out, people are goroom. “I’m a big guy, so a lot of the restaurants ing to respond,” he added. have not updated their handicap requirements to say the least,” he said. “It sucks. If I have to go to ► @IPFW_NewsBeat the bathroom, I have to hold it until I get home.” With his chair, he also has to sit in the back

Making a Name for Themselves

IPFW’s Handicap Friendly - But Has Flaws

April 11. • Softball @ Toledo, Ohio • VS. Toledo. 3 p.m. April 11. • Baseball @ Chicago, Ill. • VS. Chicago State. 4 p.m. April 11. • Softball @ Toledo, OH. • VS. Toledo. 5 p.m. April 11. • Menʼs Tennis @ West Lafayette, Ind. • VS. Purdue. 5 p.m. April 13. •Baseball @ Rochester, Mich. • VS. Oakland. 3 p.m. April 13. • Menʼs Tennis @ Fort Wayne, Ind.• VS. IUPUI. 3 p.m. April 13. • Softball @ Fort Wayne, Ind. • VS. Southern Utah. 3 p.m. April 13. • Softball @ Fort Wayne, Ind.• VS Southern Utah. 5 p.m. April 13. • Menʼs Volleyball @ Columbus, Ohio. VS. Ohio State. 7 p.m. April 13. • Womenʼs Track and Field @ Columbus, Ohio. VS Jesse Owens Track Classic.

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sports Fifth Straight Win for Women’s Tennis

The IPFW Women’s Tennis team played only one match over the weekend, and they played it well. Going up against the Dayton Flyers in Ohio, the Mastodons grabbed their fifth win in a row Kristan Mensch

with a 6-1 final score. 6-0, 6-0 and senior Frederique Sunstrum ended Taking all the doubles matches, the Dons went 6-3, 6-0. on to take five of the six singles matches as well. To check out men’s and women’s tennis full Over all, juniors Anita Henestrosa and Caterina scores, check the graph below. Kiefer got 6-1 and 6-2, senior Raquel Vescovi ► @TheDonsReport ended up with 6-0, 6-2, senior Alex Forsyth won

Next up, IPFW will play April 14 against Chicago State. It’ll be an away game, starting at 3 p.m.

IPFW Takes Down Ball State in Volleyball IPFW’s Men’s Volleyball team won their third contest in a row Saturday. Taking the overall record of 13-12, Ball State fell to 12-10 for the year. The two teams were tied up at 3-3 early on, but Kristan Mensch

IPFW was able to double its score quickly, leaving of the game, tying another couple times, IPFW Ball State in the dust at 6-3. They came back in pulled ahead to take the win at 3-1. the second set, however, and stole the lead 9-6 ► @TheDonsReport and then 14-12. The two tied up two more times in the set before IPFW finally pulled away 27-25. Basically trading points back and forth the rest

An away game is in the future for the Dons. April 13, they’ll head to Columbus, Ohio to take on Ohio State. Game starts at 7 p.m.

ThTennis IPFW's Men's e Wome T n’on e a s a m team started season off did gthe r e a t oDetroit n thei5-2 com low to over penote, r titiofalling E a ster n, the takweekend. ing all b ut otook the Women's ne oaf IPFW's Tennis team single m atNotre ches!Dame in 7-0 fall to No. 20 the 2012 season opener.

Singles 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Grant Fleming (UMKC) def. Roberto Cabrini (IPFW) 3-6, 7-5, 6-1 Tomas Patino (UMKC) def. Daniel Kang (IPFW) 6-3, 2-6, 6-4 Abdulrahman Alawadhi (UMKC) def. Andres Cobos (IPFW) 6-3, 6-4 Gustavo Guerin (UMKC) def. Connor Andrews (IPFW) 6-3, 6-0 Joao Freitas (IPFW) def. Cameron Schoenhofer (UMKC) 6-7 (3-7), 7-5, 7-6 (7-5) Martin Muadi (IPFW) def. Conner Edwards (UMKC) 6-2, 7-6 (9-7)

Doubles 1. 2. 3.

Roberto Cabrini/Connor Andrews (IPFW) def. Tim Akhmedov/Grant Fleming (UMKC), 8-5 Gustavo Guerin/Abdulrahman Alawadhi (UMKC) def. Daniel Kang/Joao Freitas (IPFW), 8-4 Connor Edwards/Tomas Patino (UMKC) def. Andres Cobos/Junya Saruta (IPFW), 8-6

Singles 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Anita Henestrosa (IPFW) def. Claire McNulty (UD) 6-1, 6-2 Raquel Vescovi (IPFW) def. Maureen Stevens (UD) 6-0, 6-2 Sami Horbarger (UD) def. Marcy Huck (IPFW) 4-6, 7-6 (7-4), 15-13 Caterina Kiefer (IPFW) def. Erin Filbrandt (UD) 6-1, 6-2 Alex Forsyth (IPFW) def. Victoria Marchant (UD) 6-0, 6-0 Frederique Sunstrum (IPFW) def. Georgia Lammers (UD) 6-3, 6-0

Doubles 1. 2. 3.

Marcy Huck/Caterina Kiefer (IPFW) def. Maureen Stevens/Claire McNulty (UD), 8-3 Alex Forsyth/Anita Henestrosa (IPFW) def. Sami Horbarger/Victoria Marchant (UD), 8-2 Frederique Sunstrum/Raquel Vescovi (IPFW) def. Erin Filbrandt/Georgia Lammers (UD), 8-1

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