Issue #72 featuring the Black Lips

#72 FREE

originalpenguin.com

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CONTENTS

VOLUME 9 NUMBER 3 ISSUE 72

FEATURES

20. Hans Brinker: You can’t wet the bed if it’s already wet.

34. Jess Baumung: Hey look! It’s the host of The Wedge!

42. Black Lip: C’mon. Whip it out.

DEPARTMENTS

CULTURE

MUSIC

24. Tokyo In The Raw: Post-near-apocalypse.

48. DJ Quik: Not related to the Los Angeles Kings’ goalie.

26. Tommy Wiseau: Have a drink every time he says "The Room". 52. Generationals: The last of the two-piece rock bands.

32. The Pale King: David Foster Wallace’s legacy.

54. Yuck: You can already tell it’ll sound like the nineties, just by the name.

54. Dave Nada: Nada bing Nada boom!

56. Album Reviews

54. Parallel Dance Ensemble: Also the name of your mum’s square dancing troupe.

57. SelectION I’m your puppet.

16. Of The Month: Booth boobs and seven inches.

58. ION the Web: Thought Catalog.

59. Horoscopes: Dr. Ian Super and his super friend, Skull Beard 60. Comics

REGULARS 12. Editor’s Letter: The Vengabus is leaving, and everybody’s grieving.

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ION MAGAZINE

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ION

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MAGAZINE

Publisher/Fashion Director Editor in Chief/Music Editor Creative Director Arts and Culture Editor Office Manager Fashion Stylist at Large

Vanessa Leigh vanessa@ionmagazine.ca Trevor Risk trevor@ionmagazine.ca Tyler Quarles tyler@ionmagazine.ca Douglas Haddow douglas@ionmagazine.ca Natasha Neale natasha@ionmagazine.ca Toyo Tsuchiya toyo@ionmagazine.ca

Design Intern Andrew Palmquist Writers RJ Basinillo, Skull Beard, JJ Brewis, Jay Brown, Chad Buchholz, Warren Haas, Betty Fikre Mariam, Peter Marrack, Patrick McGuire, Jules Moore, Kellen Powell, Bogue Roberts, Dr. Ian Super Photographers and Artists Neil Champagne, Fiona Garden, Warren Haas, Glen Han, Phil Knott, Milana Radojcic, Steven Snider, Jordan Todd, Jesse Williams, Martin Zahringer ION is printed 10 times a year by the ION Publishing Group. No parts of ION Magazine may be reproduced in any form by any means without prior written consent from the publisher. ION welcomes submissions but accepts no responsibility for the return of unsolicited materials.

All content Š Copyright ION Magazine 2011 Hey PR people, publicists, brand managers and label friends, send us stuff. Youtube album art teasers are making too much e-waste, time-waste, and brain-waste. We prefer getting actual stuff. Butter our biscuits with: band t-shirts, Zunes, the Criterion collection edition of Magnum Force, CDs, vinyl, Tim Thomas bobbleheads, smelly markers, Blu-Rays, video games, pie, and iPads can be sent to the address below. #303, 505 Hamilton Street. Vancouver, BC, Canada. V6B 2R1 Office 604.696.9466 Fax: 604.696.9411 feedback@ionmagazine.ca www.ionmagazine.ca | www.facebook.com/ionmagazine @ionmagazine | www.issuu.com/ionmagazine Advertising enquiries can be directed to sales@ionmagazine.ca COVER: Black Lips [shot exclusively for ION Magazine] Photography: Fiona Garden [fionagarden.com], Photo Assistant: Martin Zahringer

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@ionmagazine facebook.com/ionmagazine ionmagazine.tumblr.com issuu.com/ionmagazine

When you have a serious food allergy, birthday cake is just one more thing you can’t have. Visit anaphylaxis.ca

CONTRIBUTORS WRITER [betty fikre mariam]

PHOTOGRAPHER [Glen Han]

PHOTOGRAPHER [neil CHAMPAGNE]

WRITER [patrick mcguire]

Betty is based in Vancouver and Montreal.

Aside from writing about music (specifically the Yuck piece in this issue), Betty is a student at Concordia University. She likes taking witty lines from good rap songs and inserting them into conversation (in an unsubtle way). Betty spends a lot of time on the internet, aka the black hole of information. Her three favorite things right now are: "free earl" t-shirts, feeling weird and the band Light Asylum. In the future she hopes to read Roseanne Barr's book Roseannearchy and get inspired.

Glen Han (aka Glenjamn) is a Los Angeles native that likes to act like a ninja. He was kind enough to snap some shots of Dave Nada for us this issue. His weapons include a small video camera, a snap camera, and a good attitude. He has never been classically trained to be a videographer or a photographer, but since 2006 he has tried really hard and has a weird knack for being at the right place at the right time, ready to record the right moment.

He has the best friends a guy could ask for and he loves his mama. He hopes this guest spot will impress the girl he really likes.

Neil Champagne first broke into the film world shooting live concerts for Urbnet music, where he covered such artists as Classified and DL Incognito. Moving to New York and dozens of commercials later, Neil expanded his services between the commercial and feature community, working on spots for Microsoft, Bud Light, Snickers and the recent feature film The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Learning from the likes of Justin Warias and Jason Atienza, Neil built his photographic eye by night while hustling the film industry by day. Inspired by sprawling landscapes, the hip hop community and the urban bustle, Neil captures candid focal points that are the essence of his vision. Contributing his style partially to timing and his mentors, Neil has covered the likes of DJ Quik (as you will see in this issue), J.Cole, Wiz Khalifa and Big Sean.

Interviewer for this issue's Parallel Dance Ensemble piece, Patrick McGuire is a writer, DJ and owns the rights to @patrickmcguire.

He puts out a zine called the Wa, works at a magazine, did a poetry reading once, sometimes does stand-up comedy and knows things about online banner ads.

[iusedtoloveh-e-r.tumblr.com] [Glenjamn.com]

[Neilchampagne.com] @neilchampagne

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[thewamagazine.com]

CONTRIBUTORS

WRITER [Peter marrack]

ILLUSTRATOR [steven snider]

PHOTOGRAPHER [PHIL KNOTT]

Peter interviewed DJ Quik for this issue. He is a writer who likes to write, play tennis, drink, bike, skateboard, rap, and think about girls. He is currently covering hip hop shows, writing for tennis magazines, and trying not to whore himself out there to the big lights and glamour, but it is not always so simple. Peter spent four years between the University of WisconsinMadison and York University in Toronto, and has spent good time trying to simplify his time there.

He aspires to write the best book on hip hop ever.

Steven illustrated the Yuck feature for this issue. He lives in Vancouver but is originally from Arnprior, which is in Ontario. Being a twin, he had to find a way to distinguish himself and communicate in a way that was uniquely his. He drew a lot. Now he draws for living. Imagine that. He has recently completes the Illustration/Design program at Capilano University. Steven loves comic books, gory movies, Dolly Parton, impromptu shimmying, and all kinds of sweets.

Phil Knott shot Generationals for this issue.

British-bred but Brooklyn-based, Phil has been producing images for well over ten years. Rich in content and creativity, Knott presents a style that is beautiful, soulful and honest in its capacity to extract what is raw from his subjects, embodying this not only in portraiture, but also in the fusion of fashion, lifestyle and music.

[stevensnider.ca]

[philknott.com]

AWESOME [warren Hass]

Warren interviewed and shot Tommy Wiseau for this issue and is a writer and photographer living in Toronto. He was born and raised there, and after trying out Vancouver, Montreal and Edmonton, decided to come back home. He likes to ride his bike and wishes that people in Toronto knew how to ride theirs better. Having self-published a book of his photos, Warren continues to pursue his dream of being a full-time photographer by working full-time as a copywriter for an ad agency. warrenhaas.tumblr.com twitter.com/wadoha

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EDITOR’S LETTER

AS

per tradition, ION would like to present you with our annual music issue. Right now we’re sitting at one of those entertaining cruxes of music where both radio pop stars and subversive internet acts are saturated with electronic sounds which means soon we’ll be treated to some no doubt leather-clad chaps who sneer and make every Vengabus/Ace Of Base sounding radio jam obsolete. Music culture is cyclical like that. In about nine years, the pop tarts will all have Steve Lillywhite guitar sounds and underground parties will have some new genre that mashes Moombahton and Celtic psy-trance. It’s predicable but relieving.

Music is also revisionist. Bands like Yuck are reminding us of the days of Eric’s Trip, Dinosaur Jr. and other fuzzy bands from the nineties.

This again is predictable. A lot of people making songs today grew up in the nineties and are just following their childhood influences. However, the one thing I never expected to return to the world was trip hop. Call it “witch house” or “drag” or whatever chopped and screwed, 60 bpm, ketamine-drenched name you want;

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it’s still just what HMV used to tag as “trip hop”. Don’t believe me? Keep in mind that du jour act Weeknd is partly produced by Martin “Doc” McKinney who was the guy who made all of Esthero’s music. The only difference today is instead of black people, most of these acts are white people singing and screwing their voice to sound black.

The one genre that doesn’t ever seem to look in the rear view is rap. The thing that’s admirable about rap music is that it’s always evolving. There aren’t any derivative rap acts that take the tempo, production and flow from the days of Wild Style. I guess that’s what happens when your genre is made up of artists who don’t sing, play instruments, write their own music and who steal music. Shit, I would love to hear some 20 year old kid release a new jack record. It would make sense too. I mean, back in the days of new jack, you could be a hard ass rap master but dress in neon

pink and seriously manicure your manscape.

Is that too different from today? I live in a definitively gay neighbourhood, and ironically I regularly see guys with waxed chests and shirts emblazoned with unicorn sneezes and butterfly glitter yell homophobic things out of their Tiburons on my street, all while blasting music that sounds like that speed garage remix of Gabrielle’s “Dreams” which is actually COMING FROM THE FM DIAL. One thing I’m specifically going to be happy to get rid of is the idea that the current hard-house-soaked, top forty stars are somehow “pushing the envelope”. Lady Gaga isn’t avant-garde. It was avant-garde when Grace Jones and David Bowie did it. You know why? Because when Bowie and Jones and that crew were acting androgynous and showcasing their flesh in designer flare, it was basically illegal. Fanatics and fundamentalists actually wanted them

arrested or worse. It’s oddly safe to show up to galas and events surrounded by one-armed Icelandic children carrying you in an oversize guitar case made entirely of petroleum jelly. The last time it got this saturated I remember some heroin addict thrashing on a lefty Jag-Stang and making the act of shouting at the devil obselete.

Like romance, the best part of this is actually the anticipation. I can’t wait to see who snot rockets on the billboard top one hundred. I’m betting on Smith Westerns.

They’re young, crabby, dress like heartthrobs without trying, and they sound like T-Rex. Maybe white-hot Generationals or Adam Sabla will have something to say about it too. Whoever it is, they had better expect to get fat, do drugs and eventually kill themselves; a small sacrifice to finally be done with autotune and rising synth crescendos in my pop music… well for at least ten years or so.

-Trevor Risk Editor in Chief

OF THE MONTH

BALCONIES You want a power trio? You got it. The Balconies are a tighter three-way than the Miami Heat, which may have something to do with the fact that frontwoman, Jacquie, is siblings with one member, and the girlfriend of the other. The Balconies have recently finished their recording session with Jon Drew (Tokyo Police Club, Fucked Up) for their full length, but in the meantime they’ve tossed us a bone in the form of the Kill Count 7”. Classic telecaster sounds, fantastic backup singing, and a flare for reverb, Kill Count will get The Balconies’ fans through the summer without having to throw themselves off their… verandas.

DIAMONDS Following up with his bassline-driven remix of Matty C’s “Action” (a song that features a Poison sample!), Kutcorners smoothes out our wrinkles with a little Nu Shooz sounding tribute on his latest jam, “Diamond”. Featuring the earnest vocals of Curtis Santiago, “Diamond” is perfect for blasting at full volume while driving your Oldsmobile to a beach blanket break dance party. Available digitally on DJ Eleven’s 11 Inch label.

DJ DIVA Holland is like the reverse of Argentina; Dutch men are tall, strapping, hung dudes, and the ladies? Well, they aren’t quite the equivalent. To stop them from all turning gay, Dutch women are working in a sexual coalmine to get the Johanneses to notice them. Did you know that you can get served in Holland by a naked woman? You even get to write your order on her body somewhere. Now finally, we’ve got DJ Diva, the world’s first topless DJ! When the shitty trance tune finally hits that peak your ecstacy soaked guts have been waiting for… SPLASH! Out come those lip smackin’ yabbos. Well, that was worth the hundred dollar ticket. Let’s go hit a gabba club. [Djdiva.nl]

GOBARBRA.COM Probably the club song of the year, "Barbra Streisand" has been drilled deep into your head no doubt by now. It’s currently in its car commercial, hated-by-Howard-Stern, hanging-outwith-Ravi-Shankar, bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet phase. If you want one last silly gasp, head over to GoBarbra.com and plug in your own favourite (preferably four syllable) name and feel like Armand Van Helden for about ten seconds. Tip: the best one to use is “Jeffrey Dahmer”.

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OF THE MONTH

JIMMIE’S STILL JIMMIE/THAT’S NOT JOEL 7” Canada’s sometimes underappreciated heartthrob, Joel Plaskett shakes hands with Shotgun Jimmie on this whimsical new 7”. On one side, you’ve got Joel singing a song about Jimmie, and reflexively Jimmie does the same for Joel on the flip. Two maritime boys singing songs about each other being buddies; more maritime than that wrestling match between Rick White and six puffins drunk on screech.

NEW VILLAGER Ben Bromley and Ross Simonini’s New York City-based music and art collective, NewVillager, not only have one of the fanciest tunes going right now with “Lighthouse” but will also come together this June to present Temporary Culture at the Los Angeles art gallery Human Resources.

NewVillager will build a live installation, setting up a loop of nine rooms throughout the gallery, where band members will build shelters and live for nine days from June 13th to June 22nd. Over the course of nine days, the band will build for three nights and stage different hour and a half performances for the following six nights, including on-stage musical performances in the interest of creating a “temporary culture” over the duration of the exhibition. “NewVillager are setting up a new village? Then it’s not just a clever name.”

POP PHONE Tired of keeping up with the Bimbo Joneses and their “check out my flat black $1800 headphones made by Ducati” attitudes? With the POP Phone by Native Union, you can look like a secretary while playing “Secretary Song” by The Go! Team. If that’s not your bag you can be all “Hello? Batman? It’s DJ Commissioner Gordon Lightfoot. We need you to send us a 7" of Pigbag’s ‘Papa’s Got A Brand New Pigbag’. The party needs you!” Plus, with a retail price of $29.99, it won’t rip your heart out if you lose it drunk at the after party.

ION Exclusive Mix Series ION has begun a series of exclusive mixes and we couldn’t be luckier with the first installment. Rising producer and DJ Stopmakingme, has blended together a collection of songs by the legendary Black Devil Disco Club. Says Black Devil, “I’ve played live several times in London, and I believe I did play at Fabric for a ‘Kill ‘Em All’ party which he (Stopmakingme) organized. Furthermore his remixes are great so I asked him to do a remix of a track from my brand new album.” Featuring tracks by Austra and Gesaffelstein, it’s a mix that perfectly captures club music of the moment. Find it at [ionmagazine.ca]

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CULTURE

5

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HOTEL'S ICKS RARELY DO HOTELS INTENTIONALLY WORK TO ASSOCIATE THEMSELVES WITH FECES AND ILLNESS, BUT AMSTERDAM’S HANS BRINKER BUDGET HOTEL IS NO ORDINARY HOTEL. Words: Douglas Haddow

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CULTURE

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Billed as “The Worst Hotel In The World”, the Hans Brinker brand, developed for over 15 years by Dutch advertising agency KesselsKramer, is an exercise in counter-intuitive marketing.

As you know, the modus operandi of most advertising is to tell lies about the product being pitched. KesselsKramer wanted to try something different with Brinker, so they created their campaigns for the hotel under a doctrine of “extreme honesty”.

So what you see is what you get. And what you see is a hellhole that will chew you up and spit you out. Innocence will be lost, eyes will be blackened and there will be pubes.

The campaigns have been, to say the least, terribly successful. The Hans Brinker boasts an 80% room capacity even during the low season, and has gained global repute for being shit.

But is it really all that bad? Or is it just extraordinarily clever advertising? I recently had a two-day layover in Amsterdam and I wanted to know for myself, so I went and experienced it firsthand.

When I arrived I was admittedly naïve. I thought the staff’s piss-poor attitude was tounge-in-cheek, just another bit of the great Brinker pantomime.

After being told that there actually was no wi-fi, anywhere,

and no, it wasn’t a joke, I thought, "Okay, these guys are going the distance; I respect that." There really are no amenities, save for a beer machine, a pub and a “night-club”, which was essentially a basement painted black and lit with a few flashing coloured lights. But at least they had a couple computers in the common area I could use to check my email, right?

Wrong. The computers I was directed to had been broken for at least five years, in fact, they didn’t even look like real computers.

I poked my head in the night club and it was menacing, its only patrons were a lone group of eastern Europeans sitting in the corner glaring at each other. So I spent my first night in the hotel pub, drinking draft beer and failing to strike up a conversation with any of my fellow guests. After a few hours I stumbled back to my tiny room and went to sleep.

I can’t explain why, but I somehow managed to sleep through the entire day and when I awoke it was dark outside. Worst of all, I was damp, the bed was damp, and all my clothes were damp.

At first I thought I had pissed myself, but realized it was the hotel. The dampness of the Brinker had crept inside my room and walked all over me. Far from amusing, the novelty of the hotel’s in-joke now felt depraved.

On my second night I planned to go bar-hopping, but it was pouring rain outside and I was starting to catch a bit of a cold so I spent another night in the pub.

That night was a bit different. The pub was filled with 40 or so British art students who had come to the Brinker on a field trip for a design class. But it didn’t make it better, it made things worse. The Brinker had already infected me. I tried chatting up a few girls and they looked at me like I had been struck with a case of flash-leprosy.

I slept in again, and woke up damper than the day before. My camera stopped working and it looked as if one of the maids had come in and rifled through my belongings while I was asleep. I had an evening flight so I packed my belongings and spent the rest of my evening at the airport.

No, the Hans Brinker isn’t the worst hotel on Earth. It’s something far more dreadful and profound – a concept that verges on becoming an uncanny work of art. After returning home from my time in Amsterdam, wherein I experienced absolutely nothing that great city has to offer, there was a certain indistinct residue left by the experience, a stain that I’ve yet to scrub off.

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CULTURE TOMMY WISEAU

YOU'RE TEARING ME APART Words & Photography: Warren Haas

If you’ve ever seen The Room, a movie made back in 2003 yet still enjoying cult status to this day as one of the worst, or at least strangest movies ever made, you know that it’s kind of all over the place. Centered on the story of a love triangle in San Francisco, plot points are mentioned once and then dropped completely from the narrative, characters disappear mid-movie, and the apartment where much of the movie takes place is decorated with artistic spoon photography. That’s part of what makes it so strange; so nonsensical, so enjoyable. As I was trying to process the very surreal experience of having just interviewed the film’s director, writer, producer and star, Tommy Wiseau, a friend framed it for me this way: could anyone else have made The Room? And, after having just a twenty-minute conversation with him, I think it’s fair to say "no".

The movie was released to a brief initial theatrical run in 2003 and then on DVD in 2005. Since then, it’s been played in smaller theatres across the world. These screenings, often monthly events, involve full audience participation. People dress up, sing along to the soundtrack, make jokes, and throw spoons and footballs around. For the past two years, Tommy Wiseau has been touring with his film, making personal appearances and holding Q&A sessions with the audience before screenings of the movie. I met with him the night before he and Room co-star Greg Sestero did a series of Q&As at The Royal theatre in Toronto as part of their current “Love Is Blind” tour.

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What’s your favourite thing about touring with The Room?

It’s fun to meet the fans and have a groovy time, basically. [laughs] You meet a lot of people.

What do you like about having Q&A sessions?

I like to interact with people and have a groovy time as well, you know. People ask questions and each time it’s different, it’s not the same.

What do you hope your fans get out of it?

Well, anything they want to ask. Some people go overboard but that’s okay. I’m just like pro-freedom so they can ask whatever they want.

What do you get out of it?

I started [studying] psychology. I’m learning about human behaviour. I didn’t realize that The Room actually connects people. [It] is totally a different cookie cutter from Hollywood.

You can do whatever you want, you have no restrictions. I’ve said this many times. You can laugh, you can cry, you can express yourself but please don’t hurt your children.

What do you think it is about the movie that draws people out for midnight screenings?

It just happened. I don’t know if it’s coincidence or some kind of destiny. Maybe destiny, that’s the word that I want to use.

Midnight’s funny because you actually go out and you can see The Room, have a groovy time with friends, go to a bar, maybe have a couple drinks, whatever. You don’t have to see The Room with someone. You can go by yourself and maybe you meet

somebody. In Los Angeles it’s very common that people go to The Room by one or maybe even meet some friends or talk to people, whatever.

How do you feel about the fan interaction? People dressing up?

Does it excite you people get that into it?

I think it’s flattering. You create something from scratch like I did with The Room, and somebody dresses up, I think it’s complimentary. I have no issue with that except when people try to tamper with my project or try to use it as commercial value without telling us. That’s pretty unfair. But we have many fans that use it just for fun. I think I like that. It’s pretty cool.

How do you want people to view The Room in 10 years?

That’s a hard one. That’s a good question too. I like challenge.

I would say probably it will be bigger, and maybe more people will actually understand The Room, because there’s a misinterpretation of The Room with many different media or bloggers, whatever we have there. And then I think sometimes it’s really unfair, because I believe in research, like everything else. The Room is by design. I designed it a certain way. It must be a different thing. And plus it’s based on 600 pages of my novel, by me. So it had already been written and condensed to 99 minutes of script.

How would you like them to understand it, though?

Well, first of all, I want people to enjoy themselves. That’s number one. And forget about me, forget the world, just say whatever you want, you have no restriction. You don’t offend me when you say

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CULTURE “Oh I don’t like The Room, it’s boring” or whatever. I know it’s not boring. If I make you laugh a little bit, I think I’m doing a good job but it’s up to you. The more they laugh, the more fun they have, the better. [laughs] What do you want people to take out of The Room in the end?

I like people to be a better person. That’s my accomplishment.

And I think all filmmakers should entertain… this is my take, I cannot speak for someone else. If I strike you as a viewer and you say you can be a better person for another person, have a little better respect, I think I’m doing a good job. And that’s what I want people to remember, this is not fantasy, it’s a real thing that can happen to people. So if they be much more positive I would like that. I don’t know if I accomplished that but I got a lot of emails, thousands of emails, from across the world and it’s very positive. People say thank you.

I’ve read that you think there’s magnetism to The Room that attracts people to see it?

Absolutely.

Where do you think that magnetism comes from?

I think because it’s original number one and number two, I think it’s sincere. And I say this many times, you don’t have to like The Room, but if you’re sincere with your criticism, everybody would support this and embrace this, because it’s from your heart. But as soon as you try to bash somebody or be very disrespectful, that’s not right. My view about entertainment is the audience decides if they want to see your project. I’m just relaxed. Say whatever you want. You decide if you like it or not. But [we] have also a certain situation with The Room where people are spinning right or left but I say one thing. You know what?

Sometimes, I’m sorry, you don’t know what you’re talking about. See negative is good, but when you’re not sincere, it’s not right. That’s what I believe. I look at it like Shakespeare or Leonardo Di Vinci or Lincoln or other people through history; you can see that these people have been very sincere with their productions or creativity. And that’s what I am about.

Sincerity?

I think so, yeah. I don’t say I think so, I’m pretty sure I am. Because I want to be real, I don’t want to be phony. Like all plastic, you know?

I believe very strong if you share something like that, people will embrace.

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You mentioned before how you observe human behaviour and study psychology?

Yeah.

Do you consider yourself an observer of behaviour?

Good question, I commend you again. I did this study, before I shot The Room. I interviewed people on the street, and I asked them questions about relationships and I discover, wait a minute, I’m so blind. You go to school you read all these books but it’s different when you’re actually doing your own research. And I interview some people on the street and I say, “Wait a minute, it’s not me who has a problem.

We all have our problems.” And that’s why I say, The Room, you can compare it to, for example, the character of Lisa, you can compare Lisa to Cleopatra for example. I encourage people to see that.

Is that what The Room is about to you? Exploring human behaviour?

Absolutely. Again, how much you can love someone, directly, indirectly.

Is it for money, is it for feelings? You go to certain level of relationship, and it’s okay to be honest or dishonest. We as a human, generally speaking, we’re very greedy people, we rarely think objectively. So we want everything to go our way but then we may forget about the other, our environment, or whatever you have there.

Do you think The Room will be your legacy?

You said it, I didn’t. That’s a good statement. I accept it, if that’s what it will be.

So you’re okay with it?

Absolutely. I say to somebody also, I think last year, "I will always be connected to The Room". I’m proud of my project. This is the best project that I have, even though it’s my first project. [laughs] Actually, you know what, it’s the second project, because I did a sort of short movie for the school on super 8, and I did everything from scratch.

But, I’m proud of my project. I’m very proud that I was stubborn. I was very proud that I did not pitch in to big studio even though I had a great respect for them. I’m proud of this stuff, to be honest with you. It was a rollercoaster ride. It was difficult, extremely difficult. Actually, to be honest with you, difficult is not the word. Super extremely difficult.

Super extremely difficult?

Absolutely. That’s a good one.

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CULTURE

TOKYO IN THE RAW

RAW LIKE SUSHI Words: Bogue Roberts

Photography: Jordan Todd

Just hopped the red eye back from Tokyo town. The city is somehow more profoundly exciting than I remembered it, maybe because the typical tourist stock is missing in action. That phantom nuke paranoia still has the whole world shook, but fear not – there’s never been a better time to check out Godzilla’s old stomping grounds.

I was in Harajuku last week drinking a milkshake and didn’t

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see a single pervert out ogling schoolgirls. Bananas. Akihabara, electronics capital of the world, was vacant save for a few nerds trying to track down spare Sega CD parts. The cliché index in this city has hit rock bottom. Everybody thinks they’ll catch a case of radiation poisoning from a sketchy sushi roll - a little bit of disaster porn and we’re all Litvinenkos in waiting. Across the country, travel receipts have been cut in half or worse. Even

Okinawa has caught the bad juju. It’s a lamentable state of affairs for the Japanese economy, but a great opportunity for the casual grid tripper.

Beyond the bleating of a bloodthirsty news media, Tokyo is realer than ever, maybe even more real than it’s been in decades, if such a thing is possible. The cash registers are getting dusty, but the city’s throbbing neon glow always blots out the darkness.

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CULTURE

The tourist traps are deserted, as are the temples, but this absence of bustle works in the city’s favour. The last time I was there, four years ago, I went to pay my respects to the Shinto gods and found the swarms of bored travelers to be off-putting, even borderline offensive to the senses. Agitated teenagers walking past thousand year old artifacts with their DSLR’s on blast not even looking

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at anything in particular. Boredom is infectious. Your auto-immune system can’t help but react to the drool, and I’m not even a fan of history. But when it’s just me and a gang of stray cats, I can dig it.

Meanwhile, Tokyo by dark is persistently unfathomable. For the late-night prowler it’s an endless sea of bars, karaoke joints, discos, convenience stores and sex hotels, always in that order, and never the

same street twice. You lose yourself, then find yourself the next day sleeping face down on the street, a group of polite garbagemen gently prodding you with a stick. With less static jamming the experiential radar, the mystery and magic kicks in a lot quicker. No LSD necessary, but it’s just a Shibuya headshop away anyways.

I have a theory that the shittier the Japanese economy

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gets, the more dynamic its culture becomes. In the 80s, when Japan was in the midst of taking over the world with its invincible auto-electronic complex, Tokyo was where art went to die. When the bubble popped and things fell apart, new styles started to gurgle up from the proverbial ramen broth. And then in the oughts they straight up took over. From the gallery to the street, style oozed out of every manhole.

The quickest route to the city’s heart is a trip down Shinjuku’s “Golden Gai”, also known as “Piss Alley”. A series of tiny backstreets jam-packed with ramshackle bars and drunks of all stripes.

The night before my flight I spent all my remaining yen drinking saké with the weirdest of the weird and the straightest of the straight. Suffice to say, I got appropriately pissed.

I ended up going on an aerosol tear with an out-of-work

engineer and only made my flight in spite of myself and on account of an empty wallet.

Once the next disaster strikes, the tourists will set aside their paranoia and return in droves. But for the time being, it’s Tokyo in the raw.

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CULTURE DAVID FOSTER WALLACE

INFINITE STRESS Words: RJ Basinillo

Zadie Smith called him an “actual genius”, with no equal among living writers. George Saunders said he was “The first among us.

The most talented, most daring, most energetic and original, the funniest, the least inclined to rest on his laurels or believe all the praise.” Jonathan Franzen said he “wrote... as well as anyone who put words to paper.” His centrality to this latest generation of American letters was undeniable; his ceiling seemed to be the rarefied air of Melville or Joyce, the frontrunner to diagnose the ills of the present, and to heal or perhaps even save. However he was ill himself, once again stricken by the clinical depression that plagued him since college, the sickness that had him on medication that refused to work anymore. The sickness he once described in his fiction as “a kind of infinitely horrifying billowing black sail at the edge of perception.” And so it’s so unspeakably sad that, on a late mid-September afternoon nearly three years ago, with a nail and a belt, he would decide to hang himself from his porch. The world still mourns David Foster Wallace.

DFW (the affectionate shorthand preferred by Wallace acolytes) inspires the kind of unprecedented fandom, among peers and readers alike, that makes it difficult to, as a recent review in the New York Review of Books stated, “read him sensibly.” A writer of prodigious talent; owner of a hysterical imagination, nearly unparalleled verbosity (tempered by a strict grammarian’s ideals of structure; complicated by a deep background in philosophy: modal logic and mathematics), Wallace had the kind of skill more typically reserved less for bestsellers than committed avant-gardists. He still is, however, in some respect, the last in a line of great American postmodernists -- the Gaddis, Pynchon, DeLillo inheritance – and likewise

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reading DFW at times is entirely difficult work. It’s a wonder that The Pale King, the unfinished manuscript of a difficult, dead writer -- fragments of a novel concerned no less with the topics of boredom, drudgery and tax code -- be greeted with the kind of fervor reminiscent of the last Harry Potter release.

It’s something apart from the labyrinthine stories and sheer linguistic firepower, his technical brilliance, that drew readers en masse. Wallace -- who carried himself much like the reformed smart-ass he was -- tried desperately to write with affection and warmth, to fix the austere, alienating manner of his Pynchonian precursors, to tether the brainwork with actual emotional gravity.

A postmodernist with a heart. So far, this has been his legacy.

Even those unfamiliar with Wallace have probably felt his influence: Dave Eggers and his McSweeney’s school of writing can be seen as an extension of Wallace’s “deeply felt” sensibility and humour; Wallace sans prolixity. It’s to this end that current editor of The Paris Review and former Farrar, Strauss, and Giroux senior editor, Lorin Stein, once said, “David Foster Wallace changed the way we read and write.”

Up until the publication of The Pale King last month, Wallace had only two published novels to his name (the first, 1987’s The Broom of the System, a comic systems novel that was originally his college senior thesis in English) and three highly acclaimed short story collections; Girl With Curious Hair (1989), Brief Interviews with Hideous Men (1999) and Oblivion (2004).

Although regarding himself as a fiction writer foremost, where Wallace had really built his reputation was off of his nonfiction work, the essays and articles collected in A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again (1997) and Consider the Lobster

(2005). These heady non-fiction pieces, marked by his razorsharp observational wit, his unapologetic first-person presence, and breathless sentences that spilled out onto his trademark footnotes, and footnotes upon footnotes, elevated Wallace’s profile beyond his literary audience and invoked a journalistic style as unique and ground-shifting as maybe only Hunter S. Thompson and the New Journalists before him.

Regardless, at the very center of his oeuvre stands his 1996 blockbuster Infinite Jest: his supernova and apotheosis. A sprawling 980 pages in small type with an appended 96 pages of footnotes, Infinite Jest is best read as a meditation on addiction, and the role of entertainment in these complex, chemically and technologically troubled times (though, the actual plot of the novel revolves around a mysterious film [titled: Infinite Jest] that’s so entertaining it leaves it’s watchers powerless to do anything else and thus bound to death, and a conspiracy among a sect of wheelchair-bound Quebecois terrorist separatists who desire to unleash the film on the American masses, but most of the novel attends to tennis perfectionism, film theory, and alcoholic/narcotic rehab).

There is some speculation that Wallace started work on The Pale King -- which revolves around a curious set of tax accountants at an IRS branch in Peoria, IL in 1985 -- as early as 1996, enrolling in accounting classes for research, which would suggest he intended the work to act as a follow-up to the just-published Infinite Jest. Jokingly referring to this new project as “The Long Thing”, it seemed his intentions were to provide a panacea for the problems he would diagnose in Infinite Jest before, primarily those dealing with our relationship

CULTURE

with entertainment; the addictions it perpetuated, the pain it falsely eclipses, the problems that go unresolved in light of its distractions. In The Pale King, Wallace suggests that the answer is something like enhanced consciousness -- simple awareness – a greater control over our ability to choose what we pay attention to. And as Infinite Jest says that unrelenting pleasure through entertainment will wreak spiritual havoc, The Pale King suggests that a supreme awareness, through soul-crushing tedium and boredom, is the ultimate enlightenment. In Wallace’s own words: “Pay close attention to the most tedious thing you can find (tax returns, televised golf), and, in waves, a boredom like you’ve never known will wash over you and just about kill you.

Ride these out, and it’s like stepping out of black and white into color.

Like water after days in the desert. Constant bliss in every atom.”

It’s both impossible and unfair to read The Pale King as a finished work. It’s not. There are some reports that suggest he felt the work

to be, at most, halfway completed. And as a notorious reviser and editor, a self-proclaimed “5-draft man”, it’s most likely that there are rough bits in the published work that he would’ve polished to a shine. Michael Pietsch, Wallace’s long-time editor, was charged with the task of putting together something coherent from the 250 pages of neatly stacked manuscript that Wallace had prepped and illuminated with a lamp on his work table that September day, as well as work-in-progress fragments compiled from “hard drives, file folders, three-ring binders, spiral-bound notebooks, and floppy disks... sheaves of handwritten pages and notes.” But even with these circumstances in mind, The Pale King is a surprisingly coherent read, although not nearly finished-seeming, but affecting and satisfying in many of the ways his earlier work was.

This mostly has to do less with a sort of narrative harmony than with Wallace’s excellence on a sentence-by-sentence level (”An arrow of starlings fired from the windbreak’s thatch,” from the

very first page, looks to be an early critic’s favorite). Thematically The Pale King answers Infinite Jest stroke-for-stroke: boredom vs. entertainment, community vs. individualism, attention vs. distraction, oblivion vs. infinity. It’s a logical end, of sorts.

If anyone has taken up the position as the new spokesperson of difficult, high-concept writing, it’s England’s Tom McCarthy.

McCarthy’s review of The Pale King in the New York Times is of the highest praise, not so much an appreciation of Wallace’s intellect as it is an ode to Wallace’s heart; the courage to grapple with the big questions, the willingness to engage in the highwire act of the modernist literary tradition. McCarthy, and others, have been vocal about protecting this tradition, under threat of realism; the memoir boom; indifferent publishers; an indifferent audience; and an indifferent culture. It’s the tradition that David Foster Wallace died in the service of. The very least we can do is read him. We owe him much more.

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FOCUS JESS BAUMUNG

IONMAGAZINE.CA CHECK OUT MORE AT34[JESSBAUMUNG.COM]

A Manitoba to Toronto transplant, Jess Baumung is at the top of the photography game with a focus on music. A contributor to publications ranging from Mojo to The Globe and Mail, ION is lucky enough to finally feature Jess' work.

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MUSIC Photo Assistant: Martin Zahringer

BLACK LIPS

BAD BOYS GONE GOOD-ISH Words: Chad Buchholz

Photography: Fiona Garden

These days, it’s not as easy to write an article about the Black Lips as it once was. The bodily-function-drenched exhibitionism of their live shows is old news and the band has largely retired that shtick. To extol the virtues of the boys’ hedonistic tendencies and playful antagonism is fine, but as anyone with a local scene knows, hedonism and antagonism are in pretty ample supply for anyone interested in getting wet right now.

And any discussion of what may be the Lips’ most widely interesting and provocative habit – their willingness to play anywhere, at any time – essentially came to a head at the start of 2009 when the band was ‘chased’ out of India after showing a little dick on stage.

So, really, if there’s any real story here (aside from the actual release of Lips’ 7th LP, Arabia Mountain), it’s that the Black Lips – whether inspired by the success of other ‘lo-fi’/garage-y peers shorter in the game and wider in recognition, or by the simple desire to expand their sound and popular reach a dozen some-odd years into their career – are suddenly acting like professionals.

The band took a year and a half to record Arabia Mountain, which, for anyone counting, is something like 84 times longer than it took them to record last album 200 Million Thousand. And for the first time ever, they’ve enlisted the help of a producer, and not just any producer. The Lips went out and hired the help of premier UK board man Mark Ronson to smooth out, beef up, and make spacey-er their ramshackle brand of garage pop. They’ve grown up, for sure, and at this stage that growth seems to be for the better.

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On my first listen to Arabia Mountain I was having beers with a couple very musically in-the-know friends. One of them was talking about talking to the Lips’ new manager in New York recently, who had explained to him the promotional efforts being put into pushing the new album. From what my friend had heard, the Lips are spending the majority of their free time between shows, to the tune of several hours a day, keeping up with media requests and making face time with cameras.

“They’re going to be on the cover of SPIN,” my friend told me, with a slow head nod. And while that may not be quite the big to-do it once was, it’s still kind of incredible when you consider the road the band took to land there.

Perhaps the most critical observation of our little listening session came just after that assertion, from the other friend involved in the conversation (a noted musician himself). Halfway through recent single “Modern Art,” he interrupted our talk to say, “This sounds like it could be in a car commercial.”

And while my friend was wrong (the lyrics for the song are about doing ketamine and looking at surrealist art and I don’t even think Scion is trying to market their cars with that sort of imagery), he had the right idea. Big companies these days are looking for well-produced, up-tempo ‘indie’ music – and all the associated ideals of individualism, freedom, and youth that go along with it – to hitch their brands to these days. And whether it scores them a big contract with Ford or not, the Black Lips are

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MUSIC

now, more than ever before, making music that might fit in with the corporately constructed presentation of these ideals.

But please don’t let any of this insult your righteous sense of what’s acceptable from the band you once knew as the Black Lips. At the end of the day, Arabia Mountain is, really, the best thing the band has ever laid to tape. The Lips are still riotous, loose, and invigorating, and their “We fun” mantra is still intact. It’s just that now, finally, the music seems to be backed by a sense of purpose that may have been lacking before.

As for whether Arabia Mountain will be their "big break" or not remains to be seen, but judging by the size of venue the band will be playing on their current tour and the aforementioned press blitz being launched ahead of the album’s imminent release, I can’t see it going any other way.

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Below, is a concise conversation ION recently had with Black Lips’ bassist and singer Jared Swilley.

Obviously, one of the biggest talking points with the new album is going to be Mark Ronson's production contributions. How was it for you guys, being in the studio with a 'superproducer' when so much of what the Black Lips are is based on being uncaged and uncompromising?

Pretty natural actually. He didn’t do anything radically different than we’ve ever done before. I loved working with him.

What's Ronson like? I stumbled into a birthday party for one of the Klaxons at a pub in London a couple months ago and he was there. Seems like a chill dude.

He is very sweet, smart and funny. Super chill dude.

I know that, after the success of Good Bad Not Evil, the

reception for 200 Million Thousand was seen as something of a 'disappointment' (even if it was a successful broadening of the Black Lips palette). Was there any conscious decision with Arabia Mountain to return to the form of GBNE, is it a reconciliation of the best parts of those two albums, or do you guys see it as a new thing altogether?

It’s a new thing altogether. We did 200 Million really rushed.

I think it has its moments, but we could have done a much better job. We did it ourselves and didn’t really know what we were doing. I wasn’t happy with it. With this one we decided to keep recording until we had something we really liked. We might never have put out another record if we weren’t completely satisfied.

Do you feel like economic crash of 2008 and the feelings of panic and despair that followed it had any effect on how people

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felt about 200 Million? Does it seem like now there's a better stateside 'vibe' to release a Black Lips album into?

I’ve never really thought about that before. I think we just made a half assed record with 200 Million.

The new album has been a long time coming, considering there were rumors it would be available last summer. What's the cause of the delay(s)?

It wasn’t ready. Then we heard Ronson wanted to work with us.

I have to ask about the skull (seen on Arabia Mountain’s cover). Firstly, how does one go about getting their hands on a human skull? Secondly, how does one go about using that skull as an instrument? Thirdly, has there been any weird juju following that thing around? And fourthly, have you guys tried crossing the border with it?

Cole bought it at an occult store in New York. We use it as an echo chamber. Basically a plastic tube goes into its eyeball and the sound reverberates in his head. His name is Jeremiah Krinklefingers. We haven’t crossed any borders with it but we did take it on an airplane, which made me nervous.

"Modern Art" is pretty quickly becoming one of my favorite Lips' songs ever, maybe catchier than "O, Katrina!" and thematically hilarious. It's also a pretty good spin on some old hat for you guys, situating a good-time drug story in the Dali museum. Is that song an encapsulation of where you guys are as a band now, perhaps, standing somewhere between "perpetual party machine" and "high art"?

No. It was literally about when Cole and I took psychedelics at the Dali museum. True story.

You guys have been together as a band now in three different decades. Could you have predicted the longevity of the Black Lips when you first got together as a band? What's the secret to keeping together a machine that has always seemed like it could explode at any moment?

I never thought too much about the future and still don’t. I did know that I would be doing this for my adult life. It works for us because we all grew up together and have been through all the major events of our teenage and adult lives together. Everyone is completely dedicated and we get along very well. Everything is democratic and equal and we don’t have egos. And we all sing and write songs.

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MUSIC DJ QUIK

STIR UNTIL RICH AND THICK Words: Peter Marrack Photography: Neil Champagne

Rolling out of the Blue Leprechaun at 4:30 in the morning, I had only two things on my mind - the good girl beside me, and my soon-to-be second interview with west coast legend & recording artist, DJ Quik. Carmen and I had gotten a trifle slaughtered from Long Islands at the bar, and now she was telling me there were wolverine scratches on the passenger side of my ‘89 Cavalier.

There’s nothing like a strong mixture of vodka, gin, tequila, rum & cerebrospinal juices to get the prefrontal lobe misfiring. So by the time we reached the border in Port Huron, I truly believed I could muster enough votes to campaign for the mayoral election, and that I should dedicate my DJ Quik interview to the fine girl beside me. Clearly, my thoughts had not yet fully distilled. But when they do, oh man, will it ever be pretty. I just have be patient.

In the meantime, let’s have a peak at some of DJ Quik’s career stats. In 1991, Quik was signed to Profile Records, where he released his freshman album, Quik Is the Name. The LP eventually went platinum, and Quik followed it up with two more classics, Way 2 Fonky and Safe & Sound. By the late 1990’s, Quik had successfully honed his own brand, what he deemed as "Rhythm-al-ism". But as the millennium dawned over L.A., the deaths of two of his closest friends, as well as a run-in with

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the pigs, Quik was forced to reevaluate some of his longterm goals; that is, until now. As we race through 2011, Quik is back & stronger than ever, releasing his first album as a Hip Hop professor, The Book of David.

Congratulations, Quik, on the success of The Book of David. It’s another classic. Tell us a little about the album, and how it’s been received thus far?

Out here in Cali, in America pretty much, people like it. Like it’s a trip to see because people are so inundated with music right now. So it’s a trip to see that they will still come out and show their respect for a legend. People like me, we could put out records that don’t work, just because we need the money, but I’ve never done that. I’d rather kill myself than be a slave to celebrities from way-back-when, from celebrity-past. I don’t want to rally one up for the band again - Let’s strike up the band for old times sake. I’d never be that guy. But to see people follow me where I’m going now, in my future endeavors, it’s a wonderful thing.

Have your live performances & tours changed over the years?

The faces change but the energy is still there. People respond

to good music, and I guess I’m still doing good music. There were times when people were into other things, like when "snap music" came out and the south was running it. There were times when people seemed like they were more into that type of music, and our west coast music, funk music, wasn’t working. But it’s almost like there’s a resurgence, like everybody’s into the west coast movement again, and I love it. It couldn’t have happened to a better coast, because we’re the most mellow out of everybody.

Just to see people enthused about our music again is wonderful.

We deserve it.

But you still show love for good women, like to keep a nice pack by your side... [wild laughter] Hell yeah! Because you are who you associate yourself with. You hang around with five people. They define you. So, you know, I have beautiful women around me. They motivate me.

I see you in the Adidas Originals tracksuits. How would you describe your style?

I’m leisure. There were a couple of times I did shows in a threepiece suit, everything suit and tie, and people didn’t respond to it. Hip hop is still a sporty genre, because it’s young. Lil Wayne

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has done the rock 'n' roll thing so I can’t come out in the studded shirts and the Louis belt, with the chains attached to the back wallet. That’s not me. My style on-stage is leisure and sporty. It’s accessible. Adidas and Nike are just comfortable tracksuits to wear on-stage. You can really open up.

Well, I got the Originals track pants on right now. [laughs] Then you know what I’m talking about!

Do you still have the purple jacket from the “Tonite” video? If so, can you mail it to me? [more laughs] It was really like a fuchsia color, the jacket. I lost that a long time ago. I’ll tell you what happened. There was this cleaners in Compton called Rosecrans Avenue, that we used to all take our clothes to. Eazy E had turned me on to this store in the South Bay Galleria, the Guess store, so I started buying all Guess clothes. I did everything Eazy did, so my girl took all of my clothes to the cleaners and someone saw that shit going in there.

We’re talking about a few thousand dollars worth of clothes. So they broke into the cleaners and stole all of my shit, and the jacket was part of it. They got my jacket.

Last time we talked you compared yourself to Prince in the Purple Rain movie...

Yeah, and if you remember, Prince was living his life. He had his career. They had the club popping. He was number one on the throne, or the number two band. Then he started being a slave to his feelings. His music suffered because of his love for Apollonia, and the audience started to get skeptical. It took Prince a bit of soul-searching to reveal Apollonia’s true colors, like “Hey, I’m with the hottest guy, whoever’s the hottest guy, I’ll be there.” So Prince realized that that shit is fleeting, and he decided, “Hey, I’m going to do what got me here. I’m going to have a fucking ball. I don’t give a fuck about Apollonia. I’m moving on”. And that’s how I feel. I’ve been through the battle of the bands, and now I’m at

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the end of the movie. It’s time to hit them with the finale. That’s what we’re doing right now with my band, my producer for the show, and my boy Gift Reynolds. It’s the face of things to come.

Would you like to get in the studio with anyone?

I like Jay Electronica. I think he’s what hip hop really is. He’s quintessential hip hop. I want to get back in the studio with Jigga. I want to get in the studio with Snoop again, and Dre, even though they don’t need me. It’s always fun to go in there with them. I might want to get in there with T-Pain and Rick Ross. I think those would be cool collaborations. Right now though, it’s about me and my boys, Gift and KK. You had a bad experience with the Canadian press once...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was really shocked. I had lost my friends. I wasn’t caring about food. I was drinking and going hard, and somebody boldly asked me if I was doing crack. I was like, “Wow, really? Why would you think that? If I was in Canada I’d fuck you up. I’d push the microphone in your mouth. I’d bust your eyes or scratch you. I’d fuck you up.” That was just one reporter who said that, but it made me not so motivated to come running up there to perform. And I’ve had good shows in Canada too. They’ve been great, especially in B.C., but if that’s what people are feeling, they should look at my new video then ask me if I’m on illegal drugs or if I’m abusing myself, because a picture’s worth a thousand words. I was just really disappointed, you know. Like, homosexuality and cocaine use, to me, don’t go with hip hop. They don’t go with gangsta rap. They don’t go with where I’m from. These are things that are condemned, shunned. But you know, I have respect for all the cities I rock.

As a performing artist, you never want to leave your fans with a bitter taste in their mouth. But that was the ultimate insult. It made me think like, “Wow, crack. Well I might as well be gay too, and I might as well have AIDS. Let’s just put that in there

too. Give me all that shit, if that’s how ya’ll feel about me.” I was just really disappointed. I felt that that’s how everybody felt, so I figured whatever, I’ll stay here in America with my crackhead ass. [laughs] Well, I was shocked when you told me that.

Yeah, I fired my publicist for that!

What’s next for you, beyond The Book of David and the tour?

More albums coming out of my label hopefully. My distributor’s happy with me. I just want to build my brand, and give other cats the chance to be owners in this business, as opposed to artists who get robbed like we did back in the Profile Records days.

We sold all those records and didn’t get money from the label.

We pretty much relied on that money, like ancillary income. So I want all my artists to be able to eat from their sales, just like another Ruthless Records. I like the way Eazy did it. I want the Ruthless Records type of thing, and maybe getting into the film side too, doing film scores. I’m pretty proficient at that already, and who knows, maybe you’ll catch me directing. Because I’m not going to be on-stage all the time. It takes a lot of energy.

When you go on a long-ass tour, you’ve got to really have your endurance up. I’d rather see that my young artists are doing their shit. Maybe I’ll become a director. I can bring what I know about music and arrangement to film.

What does it mean for you to be a hip hop professor?

I don’t think it means anything. I think it’s just what I naturally became, like I stay true to what I do. I’m an historian. I don’t try to impress my will upon people. I’m not out here begging people to honor us because we’re legends. I’m just giving people good music. Hip hop is funny, you know. So we’re out here doing comedy, cracking people up and just having fun. I just believe the key to success is just being easy to work with.

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MUSIC GENERATIONALS

TALKING 'BOUT MY...

Words: JJ Brewis Photography: Phil Knott

For a band so rooted in decades bygone, New Orleans duo Generationals seem to not get too lost in calculating the components of their sound. On their most recent LP, 2011's ActorCaster, Ted Joyner and Grant Widmer seemed to have stripped down to an even more retro feel than the slightly sporadic take found on their debut. Widmer, on the phone from a break in the band's schedule, explains that many of the band's facets are uncalculated, yet he seems to have answers readily polished for questions. Perhaps it's just the capabilities of a band well-trained in the media. Or maybe some of the band's conventions are more strategic than he suggests.

Originally bandmates in a project titled The Eames Era which split in 2008, Widmer and Joyner decided to carry on as a twopiece. Of the switch, Widmer says "the recording process is almost exactly the same. The only difference is that we play almost all of the instruments between the two of us now." Creating a full

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band's sound with two people, he explains, is actually quite natural.

"We just kind of found the way we work as writers. It's the right situation for us to create the kind of record we want to."

In studio, Joyner and Widmer create a five-person sound using multi-track overdubs, playing all the instruments themselves. But live, the guys have three additional musicians to round out the sound created on the albums. Widmer explains that the flexibility to change, and work with different concepts, pays off. "It's definitely a tricky thing for a band like us, because we do use a lot of things in our records that are synthetic or driven by machines," he says.

"The live show definitely has a more human rock band feel. That's the approach we're taking with the band. The songs take on a more ragged sort of feel [live], and that turns out pretty well. We just prefer to play with people than a bunch of computers."

Though, he's not writing off the concept completely. "I don't think it's a dogmatic thing I'd say is wrong. There aren't very many

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hard line rules about what's wrong and right. It goes down to ‘do people want to watch it and buy a ticket to that show?’."

As easy of a decision it was to continue as a duo, the band's name also came quite naturally. "We spent a lot of 2008 recording our first record in Washington, DC, and we spent a lot of the summer watching coverage of the presidential election," Grant explains. "People would say a certain issue would break down the 'generational' lines. So, we kind of kept remembering that word." As far as words go, Grant also touches on the band's newest album title, Actor-Caster, by shrugging off any specific depth to it. "It's more just kind of a sound thing in that it doesn't mean anything," he says. "We liked the way it looked, the way it sounds. It's not a literal reference to anything."

Taking things literal seems to be a very weary ground in music these days. Bands like M83 have worked on the idea of ambiguity that lets the listener take a record where they want it mentally, rather than concrete lyrics telling a specific story.

"I do like the idea of going the opposite way with it," Widmer explains. "It's not about trying to invoke any specific imagery.

It's kind of playing around with the vague sense. I think we are just trying to take it really phonetically than be really specific about a reference."

On the other hand, a huge part of being in a band, Widmer explains, is backing up your material by "owning it." The cover of the guys' first album, 2009's Con Law, is a close up photograph of their two faces, released in a time when every indie band was looking for nondescript illustrative art to front their releases. The idea, maybe, is just as much about taking the road less-travelled

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as it was about ownership. "I remember seeing a lot of cartoon hand drawn art with some indie hand lettered title, sort of like the way music studios try to model a movie to an indie market in making it feel homemade," Grant explains. "Putting our pictures on it was our way of trying to do the opposite of hiding ourselves away like bands do when they put cartoons on the front. Step out front, put your face on it, own it, and let it be known that it's your best work." Grant sees this move similar to bygone eras, again invoking vintage records, specifically a record like Phil Collins' Face Value. "That album cover: just super close up, no make up. You can see all the little pores and imperfections in his skin.

There is kind of a therapeutic way to lay it there that it was his work, in a painfully invasive photo of his face. Just that idea was the opposite of what I thought was a really common trend a few years ago."

On both of their albums, Generationals have a sound reminiscent of 60s era radio when pop was still really fresh and smart, before vocoder and remixes ruined people's taste and attention span. But in staying vintage, the guys know they have to be careful not to be too kitschy. "There's a lot of ways you could do a cool band or show without doing something that's totally retro. Like Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, a very cool band not trying to be contemporary. People like Amy Winehouse or Adele are drawing from 60's and 70's motifs, showing vintage stuff is big now." Widmer explains the key to making a bygone era work in a contemporary setting is all about pulling it off in the live format, without overthinking it. "When you put a show together, you have to make it exist in a setlist. We didn't take a

hard mind about trying to eye down our band to any one thing, like a performance style."

Widmer adds, "When people hone in on one specific thing making a decision that you're trying to sound like one kind of form, well, we never had that conversation." This lack of directness created albums that have varied moods and feels, created with a plethora of diverse genres in tow. "When song ideas came up, they came in the best ways they'd be developed.

Sometimes that'll be electronic, sometimes it is more of a vintage sound. We follow the songs where we think the best direction it is to go without thinking about what the record or the band is supposed to sound like."

In a similar vein to contemporaries Peter Bjorn and John, many of Generationals' tunes stick to your consciousness whether you intend them to or not. And like any modern act aware of their catchy capabilities, the band has given rights for several of their tracks to be used in advertisements as well as film and television. But unlike the past, it's not seen as selling out, it's about being wise, Widmer explains. "I don't really hear anyone use the 'sell out' kind of attitude," he says. "Anyone using that should take a look at the economics of being in an independent band, unless you have an instance where a band is obviously changing something to get a big pay day."

Despite what Widmer describes "the motivation to hit a home run with every song," that some bands use in terms of hit-making and singles success, he finds that treating each song equally often unintentionally creates great tracks that people connect with. "With us, it's really an attention thing in that we

developed or have ideas for twice as many songs as we record," he says. "We only make it all the way through with a song we really like a lot, ones that we think are gonna be really good."

He sees this strategy as a natural vibe that advertisers connect with. "Advertising follows pop culture, and in this era, pop music isn't really as popular for advertising," adding that companies turn to lesser-known bands to connect people to their product.

But creating songs that sound nothing like most of their peers come with certain tags the guys aren't necessarily comfortable with. "I wouldn't say timeless," Widmer says of the band's era-hopping albums. "None of our reference points are epic or anything," he says. "It's hard to write something anyone would think is timeless. I wouldn't credit myself with that. We just don't pay a lot of attention to what format or style should be. It's about making the song as good as it should be."

With such avenues as marketing and online exposure, the media outlets act like extra opportunities for exposure.

Glee star Dianna Agron recently included the band's "When They Fight, They Fight" on her instalment of Celebrity Playlists. With plugs from Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Starbucks in the bag, their fan roster is becoming quite rounded. Thus, the opportunity for future releases must be looming. But Widmer explains that, like their previous releases, they don't have particular plans before going into the studio.

"If you're paying a lot of attention, it'll end up making you look really dated," he says. On the topic of invoking certain trends, he says "If you're not one of the first people to do something, when people look back on that song or record, it's not going to stand the test of time." The key, he says, is to blaze your own path, and start a new trend for other people to explore. "The only way I can figure to do it is to move in a direction you think is different than

what else is popular, and if you do a good enough job, that will be your own mini trend."

With two well-received releases in the bag, Generationals will be going for a hat trick with their next effort. But as Widmer explains, previous experience will ease the process, but not predict the result. He explains that with the experience of the first album done, the second one came easier. "We kind of walked in from day one knowing we could at least finish the record. Musically or thematically, I don't know that it was a huge departure." Continuing on then, will be interesting to see where the band takes it. "With the third one, whatever we record next, we don't really feel like we need to dive into a new genre or thematically change our approach," he says. "We've never consciously done that anyways. So we just write another batch, whatever we're feeling like when we're in there. By the time it happens, we could be really hard into metal and make a metal record."

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MUSIC DAVE NADA

IT'S A RAVE, DAVE. Words: Kellen Powell Photography: Glen Han

Over the past year, moombahton has exploded all over parties, nightclubs and blogs. The story of its creation has become like a well known DJ superhero origin story. Dave Nada, while DJing a highschool “skipping party” for his little cousin, didn’t want to disrupt the vibe established by the other DJs playing reggaeton with the kind of high tempo electronic dance music he was known for as one half of producing duo Nadastrom. His solution was use the pitch control on the CDJs to slow down Afrojack’s Dutch house track, “Moombah”. The result was a unique sound that tore the roof off the skipping party. Nada quickly realised he was onto something and “moombahton” caught the attention of his peers.

This Spring/Summer Nada teamed up with label Mad Decent, probably best known for Major Lazer, to release Blow Your Head Vol. 2, a collection of his favorite moombahton tracks from various artists. We got a chance to talk to Dave on the phone while he was (we think) driving around L.A. We were excited to speak with him because he has a reputation as being a really fun, nice, and easy going guy, a rarity among DJ/producers. On top of that, he’s also making some of the most interesting music out there right now.

I know the story of the skipping party has been told to death now by everyone that’s written about moombahton, but I have a few things I’m really curious about. Like, how old were your cousins?

Ha ha. Yeah that’s cool. Basically they were seniors, they were doing these cut parties or skipping parties in their junior and

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senior year, so that was kind of their last one they wanted to do.

To get in some trouble before they graduated.

Were you the only adult there?

Yeah...

Does your family know about it?

Yeah, which is why I try not to go into details because they got kind of, uhh, mad about it. I mean everyone in my family is really supportive of my career and my music. They just don’t want me getting in trouble with my younger cousins. They got over it.

Do they understand the significance of the event? That in that moment you were inspired to create this new sound, that’s taken your career in a new direction?

Yeah, they really do, they’re really supportive.

Cool, so what can you tell us about the compilation?

Mad Decent and Diplo approached me about wanting to collaborate. I’ve always been pretty much affiliated with Mad Decent and I haven’t done a lot of remixes and shows with them or what not, so this is finally the big project that they approached me about doing.

They were basically like, “You’re the quote unquote ‘inventor’ of moombahton and we want to see if you can put together, or curate, the ultimate moombahton compilation, and just basically introduce the world to it in a sense. You’re Dave Nada, you made this. We’d love to have you do volume 2 of Blow Your Head and pick out some of the best tracks that you’ve come across and that you’ve been into since the beginning....

Oh shit, I’m about to die.

What?

Sorry, I just almost got run over by a parking garage door.

Are you okay?

I’m alright, I’m alive. I made it. But yeah, I was a huge fan of Blow Your Head Volume 1 and what they did with dubstep, and they’re huge supporters of moombahton and they really believe in the sound.

Is this aimed at casual listeners, or are these tracks for DJs to play out?

Its definitely for casual listeners, not just your average clubgoer.

If you’re a DJ or someone involved in the nightlife you’ll probably be familiar with some of the songs but this is trying to reach a broader audience outside of the night club. That’s what we’re aiming for with the compilation; something that’s well rounded for everybody. We want to get it out to as many people as possible!

Who’s responded to moombahton the best so far? Is it fans coming to it from the reggaton side, or is it more fans of electronic dance music?

It’s interesting because it kind of varies on the region. Like in DC the crowd that comes out for "Massive" is a pretty mixed crowd.

That party usually sells out and a lot of Latinos come out but its really a big mix. You’d think it would be more kids from the electronic scene or the indie scene or fans of Nadastrom who are familiar with the more electronic stuff, but it varies.

For instance when I go to Canada, like Edmonton or Calgary, it’s kids that are coming out to hear electronic music. If they’re

coming out to see a Nadastrom show it’s definitely more of a rave crowd but whether we take people by surprise, or they’re expecting it, we usually hit em with it (moombahton) and it goes over really well.

You’re a self proclaimed “DJ first” and moombahton was born out of a kind of spontinaeity that was informed by a DJ first mentality - in that your primary concern was not disrupting the vibe of the party and keeping everything going, as opposed to say, showcasing your production work. Now that you’re becoming known for a specific sound are you missing the rush that comes with being a “DJ first?”

Well. I am a DJ first and foremost. Even as a producer I think I have a DJ first attitude, but moombahton has actually pushed it even further. With Nadastrom we were playing sets that were all 126 beats per minute, all the time. But I started as a club DJ playing hip hop, electro, indie, everything. I was moving around tempos and genres a lot, and with the moombahton thing that’s kind of coming back. We can do so much with it and bring in so many elements and so many different tempos, and it’s great for me because I’m a DJ fanatic. That’s the whole point of me saying I’m a DJ first.

I’m definitely more at home behind a pair of turntables than I am in the studio.

What’s the plan from this point?

I wanna push the Blow Your Head compilation as much as possible!

I wanna go on tour to help promote, I want to colaborate with other artists, Dillon Francis, Munchi, Sabo. I do a big event called "Moombatohn Madness" in Washingotn DC, I’m gonna start a weekly night out here in LA., and yeah, eventually hit the road and try to spread the whole moombahton sound with my affiliates from Mad Decent and some people that are featured on the comp as well.

I just wanna push this sound. A lot of people are wanting to hear it in the clubs and now that it’s starting to get a little bit bigger, I think the compilation is really going to be big.

What’s next for moombahton, how far are is this going to go?

As far as releases go me and my buddy Matt who I do Nadastrom with, we’re working on a bunch of original materials with some colaborations I can’t really talk about yet, but definitely a bunch of new music with original production and a lot of talented artists is going to be coming out in the next months.

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MUSIC PARALLEL DANCE ENSEMBLE

PDE EDP

Words: Patrick McGuire Photography: Milana Radojcic

ION asked me to interview Parallel Dance Ensemble and to be honest I wasn’t sure how to approach the situation. If you take a look at my iPod you’re gonna get a lot of DJ Khaled, Birdman, Pusha T & OFWGKTA. But I mean, I grew up with a lot of Italian kids that liked dance music and glowsticks And also, when I was nineteen I went to a few electro parties totally blacked out in hi-top Nike Dunks. I soon learned these were terrible points of reference and that I wasn’t wired properly to talk about music, per se, with these lovely people. So I relied on a few mainstays of human experience, like exotic bears and dance crazes.

How did the song “Shopping Cart” come about?

Coco Solid: It was part of a turbo recording session we did in New Zealand. It was fun…I don’t remember it being a particularly traumatic songwriting birth… it was 'inside the mind of a golddigger'. I think we both love 'inside the mind of' stuff.

Robin Hannibal Braun: Songs about gold diggers never get tiresome, especially if they are coming from the mouth of Coco Solid.

When was the last time you got ‘inside the mind’ of the Macarena?

C: December, with my grandmother in Samoa.

R: In the youth club, right after a cheek to cheek competition.

Which part of the Macarena was your favourite?

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C: When you put your fingertips on your elbows. It has I Dream of Genie elements.

R: What was there not to like? It was any man’s dream!

What's your favourite dance craze?

C: The hustle. Or the running man. I like grinding too.

R: The funky white man’s dance.

What's the weirdest place you've ever slept?

C: In a fireplace. It was kinda nice.

R: In a bed where someone was having sex.

Yeah, those are weird places. Would you rather lose your legs or your arms?

C: Legs! Losing my arms would ruin my independence, and ability to make and write music.

R: I'd learn to live with the loss of either. Life is life.

Would you rather have a hovercraft or a jetpack?

C: Jetpack. not sure why. Just sounds way more cool.

R: Hovercraft with a bomb stereo. I'd wanna be a total futuristic jerk. Jet-pack life would be zen but kinda lonely.

Would you rather have a panda or a talking panda?

C: I’m not going to be greedy, so ill go for a regular panda.

R: Can one ever really have a panda?

If you had a talking panda what would you talk to him or her about?

C: I would get some lessons in how to be one with the nature,

and how to be so good at taking it easy, and relaxing.

R: China, its diet, and its intense, drawn-out mating rituals. Also, the connotations of having a black eye in my species.

Would you tell anyone you had a talking panda or would you keep it secret?

C: I would tell my closest friends, but anymore than that would ruin it.

R: I'd ask the panda what he or she wanted.

Who was your harshest critic when you were first getting into music?

C: My sisters, the only criticism I find worth listening to.

R: Friends. They still are. Some of them are like ‘You still working on this and this record? You've been working on it for months now!’

Why did you decide to stick with it?

C: Music for me has been a free party mixed with a priceless education.

R: It’s the only thing that gives me that ants titties feeling.

Ants have titties now? Huh? What's better, chips or crackers?

C: Uh, chips!! Any sort.

R: In an apocalypse, crackers. Can double in both roles and even act as bread in emergencies.

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MUSIC YUCK

DINOSAUR YOUTH Words: Betty Fikre Mariam Illustration: Steven Snider

Yuck is a UK based band composed of Daniel Blumberg who sings, plays guitar and writes songs; Max Bloom on guitar; Japanese Mariko Doi on bass; and New Jersey’s Johnny Rogoff on drums. Fresh off a stint at SXSW, I talked to Blumberg and Bloom before their Vancouver gig. We discussed, among other things, band comparisons and the importance of visual aesthetics in music.

Typically, if you’re a new band on the blog and festival circuit, (and 21 like both Bloom and Blumberg), comparisons with alternative rock gods Dinosaur Jr. and Sonic Youth would seem like a lot of pressure. However, for Blumberg it’s simply a nice compliment, "We don’t mind being compared to them.

People make music and people talk about it. Your band will get comparisons to your music.” However, Bloom clearly defines the extent of their influences, "We didn’t listen to them when we were recording. Our music taste differs quickly. I really like Dinosaur Jr. but things change."

Yuck released their self-titled full length this past February on Fat Possum Records. The record is often described as 90s lo-fi grunge, and the band definitely embraces those aspects in terms of making good music without any gimmicks. Furthermore, Yuck released three seamless music videos for “Get Away”, “Rubber” and “Georgia”. Who is the genius behind these abstract visual

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concoctions, you ask? “A guy in L.A. actually. Two Michaels worked on it. The director’s name is Michael Reich” explains Blumberg. The band has also released three singles on vinyl.

“Yeah 3 out of 3. It’s nice to spend a lot of time on the artwork and having something we can listen to physically. We prefer, having a physical thing.” Bloom explains the importance of expressing themselves in all mediums: “We do everything ourselves for the most part, but we don’t have the ability to make videos. Michael came along to do the treatment, and it stood out as something that was funny and ambitious. He came back with the first video, and it was the first edit. He’s been making our videos ever since. It’s important to have someone really good like that to work with you. We really like what he does. He’s really talented. He gets our music.”

Being thrust into the limelight can be a difficult thing to get used to for a new band (let alone any band), especially while being heralded for revitalizing a not so forgotten era; the 90s.

“My dream was to play gigs” says Bloom. “I’m still sort of in disbelief. We’re supporting, but it’s still touring. I feel lucky to be on tour.” Although, embarking on a rigorous international tour can be just the antidote to stay focused. The sudden shift of lifestyle from playing music in your room to doing Rolling Stone interviews and four day music festivals in Spain can be

a big transition, but luckily Yuck are staying focused on their music. I asked them what the most memorable show has been so far, “They’ve all been pretty good, but the Fillmore one in San Francisco” says Bloom. “It’s a very historic venue. It’s nice playing big stages. That one sticks out.” Although this is a band that oozes the past (i.e. Doc Martens and My So Called Life reruns), Bloom says they are looking to the future.

“It’s been fun going to America and Canada. You can feel things happening. I feel like people are really cool and nice. I guess we’ve been touring a lot. I guess when we get back we’ll just write and record, compile some songs we have together.”

In the meantime you’re going to have to catch Yuck on tour, “Festivals in the summer. We’re doing the Pitchfork Festival in Chicago, Way Out West Festival in Sweden, Glastonbury Festival and stuff like that” explains Blumberg. Although they’ve gained some clout in the music industry, there are some relapses, “We usually listen to whatever our tour manager has on in the van. It’s good though. Right now it’s Mt.Erie. He’s driving so he listens to whatever he wants. We don’t DJ in America.” Catch Yuck in a city near you, and relive the 90s without having to fear the haunting images of floral scrunchies.

MUSIC REVIEWS 1

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[1] Atari Teenage Riot - Is This Hyperreal? “The streets smell of burned rubber and urine/The time for debate is over/It’s time to act/It’s time to fight through...” Ugh. Really guys? That shtick? Still? Something I’ve experienced, as I settle into adulthood, is surpassing musicians I grew up listening to in terms of maturity. I guess it’s good that Atari Teenage Riot are still out there screaming about blowing up computers and raging against the machine and everything, but man, I’m not 15 years old any more and when they talk about the holocaust, torture and capitalism, it makes me uncomfortable. I wish I could send this album back in time, to myself, through an IRC channel so I could listen to it and review it while I was 15. My teenage self would have just been like “Yeah, fuck bad stuff. Let’s be angry about it with techno!”, which leads me to the main question this album brought up for me: Do Atari Teenage Riot know that they’re adorable at this point? - Kellen Powell [2] Crystal Stilts - In Love With Oblivion Discovering Crystal Stilts at a show in a converted warehouse in Brooklyn in the fall of 2008 after just moving to NYC amid the turmoil of the economic collapse, and getting to spend that winter stalking the city’s concrete tundra with Alight of Night ringing out of my headphones and a tall can of Coors clutched in my hand, I romanticized my failures and sneered at the hopelessness of it all. For some eight months, the Stilts were my personal Jesuses, and I can’t think of that city without the clang of

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3

album standout “Departure” playing through my head.

With sophomore LP In Love With Oblivion the band have taken everything that made them such a perfect soundtrack for those dark streets and darker nights, built it up, and made it more nuanced. From the spaghetti-western twang of opener “Sycamore Tree” to the Stooges-like sleaze of closer “Prometheus At Large,” from 7-minute dirge “Alien Rivers” to Stilts’ career highlight “Shake the Shackles,” the band have again caught the lightning that is NYC in a bottle, creating something alternately menacing and beautiful, massive and detailed, and with just enough warmth this time around to fill the dark places of these short summer nights. - Chad Buchholz [3] Friendly Fires - Pala It was a hot and steamy night. I sensually slid Friendly Fires’ new album Pala into my eager, attentive, throbbing iTunes library. I gently teased the cursor onto the play button, unfurled my headphones cord, plunged it into the jack and vigorously began a deliciously decadent listening pleasure-gasm, and hell if the whole damn thing didn’t set a friendly fire to my ears and/or loins! Put on yer oven mitts kiddies cuz it’s HOT. If Tears For Fears made club jams they would probably sound a lot like the infectious “Live Those Days Tonight.” It’s epic, tribal, sometimes sweeping and guess what?! That’s just the first song! Warm production, hot beats, smoking sing-a-longs, Friendly Fires lit a torch under my ass with this one and actually ignited a long extinguished desire in

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me to burn the candle at both ends by listening to an album, repeatedly, from start to finish. And what a finish. I had to light a cigarette.

PS- I also write romance novels.

PPS- Fire metaphors are fun. - Jay Brown [4] Thurston Moore - Demolished Thoughts Pre-greased by the sweat of eager Sonic Youth fans, Thurston Moore’s new solo album, Demolished Thoughts shouldn’t have much trouble surviving in the “real world.” Just like the 71 Sonic Youth albums before it, (ok, 17), Demolished Thoughts has the freedom to be whatever it wants to whoever wants it. Fans who are listening for experimentalist radicalismo might be surprised to find Thurston’s gentle, pillow-close vocals combing over a nucleus of acoustic guitar, violin and harp. Lovers of his previous solo album, 2007’s Trees Outside The Academy will pee with glee.

Produced by Beck “Beck” Hansen, Demolished Thoughts picks up exactly where Trees left off: clean, acoustic minimalism with memorable hooks and little-to-no electric shockers. Benediction, Illuminine, Circulation... Each song bleeds seamlessly into the next, shuffling through a haze of bizarre imagery and protopunk poetry. “Milky semen light radiation boys/Breaking happy heart blood and liquid noise.” Thurston, I love you for never letting me down. Beck, I forgive you for all the times you did let me down and probably will again. -Jules Moore

Are you in a sweet band but are too shy/ugly/deformed to be in your videos? Don’t worry! You’ve just got to place a call to your local master of puppets and you’ve got yourself that video you’ve been dreaming of ever since Debbie Harry hosted The Muppet Show or when you first saw Take Part! and stole the lid off your mum’s margarine container. Here are our favourite talking-felt spots.

Illustration: Jesse Williams

SELECT[ION]

MUSIC

[1] Pansy Division – “Bad Boyfriend” Okay, so these aren’t exactly puppets as much as it’s people’s hands out of shot making a bunch of Gund bears dance back and forth in front of the band’s album. Cheapest video ever made? Probably. Did you wish you thought of it? Definitely.

[2] Humans – “Bike Home” Vancouver’s favourite buddy-core duo not only made this sweet tune but band member Peter Ricq has the added advantage of being employed as a children’s program genius and art director for the show The League Of Super Evil. The video stars two puppet cops (named after the band members) who try to bust up a party in East Vancouver but end up getting high, cranking up the music, and clubbing a party guest and sticking him in a trunk. The Shield meets “The Story of Bert’s Blanket”.

[3] Herman Dune – “Tell Me Something I Don’t Know” An adorable, blue puppet guy in a video with Jon Hamm (creator of Jon Hamm’s John Ham) will Chinese finger trap the reward pathways in your frontal lobe. Watch as Don Draper picks up a catatonic smurfy dude, sticks in him a convertible and takes him to the woods where Herman Dune and his band are blasting out tunes. The only thing that rivals the cuteness of the teeny, little blue guy is when Jon calls him “buddy”.

[4] Mr. Oizo – “Flat Beat” Flat Eric stars as a bad ass record exec who we’re pretty sure is playing this Mr. Oizo song over the rotary telephone to instruct Doctor Teeth and The Electric Mayhem on the direction they need to take their music. “You know that new sound you’re looking for? Well, listen to this!”

[5] Keaton Henson – “Charon” Keaton Henson's namesake might have something to do with his choice of music video style. “Charon” stars a suicidal, puppet lumberjack-y guy who is lamenting his life and has spilled his guts (yarn) as his last move in the cloth world. This video tugs on one’s heartstrings while the puppet literally tugs out his.

[6] Escort – “All Through The Night” Although this video is probably pissing all over licensing laws, “All Through The Night” is a fantastic example of video mashup talents, taking music clips from episodes of The Muppet Show and synching them to this contemporary disco jam. The song and video are so smile-inducing that even Waldorf and Statler would enjoy it.

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ION THE WEB THOUGHT CATALOG

T In an overcrowded market of forgotten blogs and uninspired online magazines, Thought Catalog has emerged as one of the most interesting, provocative and hilarious voices on the internet.

With a team of contributors larger than most country’s militaries, their output is unrelenting, but always imaginative. The future of journalism? Perhaps, but for the time being just be happy there’s websites out there like this that are putting the zeitgeist in a vice grip everyday of the week.

How did Thought Catalog come about?

Thought Catalog was a folder on Chris' computer where he stored his personal writing. Then he opened up. He wanted a community in which to share thoughts about and engage in the culture and figure out what it meant for him and for others. He looked at the options. LiveJournal was dead or abandoned, Tumblr wasn't inductive to mid-to-long form personal essays or journalism, blogs were dead—with the rise of Twitter—and preexisting venues, other magazines and online magazines, somehow seemed inadequate: too gossip-y, too slow, too newsy, too cloistered or unfocused. So we started Thought Catalog. We made what we wanted while figuring out what we wanted.

Where is TC based out of?

Thought Catalog is 100% virtual. Our office is a url: https://thoughtandexpressioncollc. campfirenow.com. We meet there every day from locations throughout America. The office is low-cost, accessible from anywhere in the world, and it never closes. We don't need janitors.

What does "avant-now" mean?

The movement in journalism and media is toward digitization, that's where things are headed for everyone, where everyone wants to go, and is going. Thought Catalog is already here, and we never were anywhere else. To others we're the future, but to us we're the present. We're both "avant" and "now."

Do you have a specific approach to, or theory on criticism?

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There is definitely a specific approach. It's important to us. But it's comprehensive and intuitive, so it's difficult to say what it is, except that when you navigate the site and read the articles you can quickly sense it's there. We don't define the approach, which allows us to fully express the approach. The actualization of the site is the approach.

Who reads TC? Primarily college students and post-grads, especially those interested in culture, journalism, media, and life—but also those simply interested in their own lives and what it means to be alive and how to live. In May 2011, 1,146,140 people in the United States; 103,896 in Canada; 72,5072 in the United Kingdom, 42,879 in Australia, 37,232 in Singapore, and so on.

TC seems to have carved out a rather meaty niche. Is there anything specific you credit the site's success to?

Hard work, attention to detail, a personal-driven excitement and passion in and a constant awareness of—and involvement in—what's happening in the culture. Most of all: amazing contributors who themselves work hard, are detail-oriented, involved, aware, and weirdly passionate.

How does TC factor into the future of journalism and in what way are you guys representative of the future?

We have never been a part of the "past" of journalism, so we're by default the future. We don't know anything but the future. But for us it's the present, and we're figuring it out every day.

What do you say to all the Luddites out there who prefer their written word on paper and refuse to read online magazines?

Thank you. We need more Luddites in the world. [thoughtcatalog.com]

HOROSCOPES THIS MONTH: DR. IAN SUPER + SKULL BEARD Combining on this month’s horoscopes we have a long forged friendship between ION mainstay Dr. Ian Super and his super friend Skull Beard. Skull Beard is an expert at tonal magic and compliments Dr. Super’s mystical powers in order to forecast the future... WITH STUNNING ACCURACY!!! Rest your terrors for they have glimpsed your future… or was it your past?

ARIES: Nesting is for twerps. It’s apparent that your love bunny (or whatever you call it) is a fun ticket, but standing in the shadows playing with your bits should be more of a timeout rather than a constant activity. You’ve got a lot to offer and we miss ya. Give us a call sometime, but first take a shower.

TAURUS: Gut Check! Hey! Don’t you dare give up on dotting the i’s or crossing the t’s. We’re not sure if this is a good thing, but your near future looks like a fully tinted Escalade on 40” rims. Have fun in Toronto. Seriously though, we’ll miss you in the Pacific.

AQUARIUS: We know that 2011 is your “Big Comeback” year, but you haven’t changed a thing.

Remember how Ma$e tried to make a comeback in ‘08? Neither does anybody else. Take note that the lease just came up on asshole, so everybody put your name forward.

GEMINI: You know how on the bus there is that one person that smells like ginch that has been worn forty times and then put in a grilled cheese?

Well... he thinks you stink. Forget your critics! You are a person whose talents are truly limitless! That said... I don’t take the bus.

CANCER: The fact that you came up with a porno that features the Crocodile Mile is amazing, but be careful she don’t barber-chair on ya and damage the talent. Forget watching out for the fucking croc, it’s that gawtdamn plastic hoop that will turn your feature from Wet’n’Wild’n’Whisky’n’Wide Asses 4 to Saw 7.

LEO: Are all of your facebook posts still about what the Christ you had for breakfast or how you are still single-y-complicated with your love life? Leave it be. You need to start reading something with fewer illustrations.

Text messages don’t count, nor does reading the bios of all those shitty jam bands you’re into.

LIBRA: Slow down on the poutine kick. Sure it’s delicious when smothered in ski-hill quality gravy but your arteries are hardening like a frozen garden hose. Maybe eat a

vegetable or try jogging. Basically ‘bra, tighten it up. Lastly, there’s no need to keep quoting The Chapelle Show. Everyone has seen it.

Unless it concerns that Ashy Larry character.

That’s still funny.

CAPRICORN: You’re on fire cappy! Party like it’s going out of style, and by that we mean hammer down a couple vodka-Cheetah Power Surges and double that hottie on your fixie to the Givers’ concert. You can’t lose. Bet seven or eight hundo on green. Do it now.

Then order another round of vodka-Cheetah Power Surges.

SCORPIO: Falling asleep in public is called “O-facing” and is acceptable. Drinking so much that your tongue hangs out of your mouth once you’ve passed out is called “Q-facing,” and is unacceptable. Eat plenty of pancakes before you go out and you’ll survive being repeatedly iced by your friends. Also, you’re getting a Dell.

PISCES: When you blank on the rent cheque Baby Jesus vomits orange goo on Jimi Hendrix, then God gets pissed and there’s a massive catastrophe in an underdeveloped country. Pay your bills on time. Maybe get one of those stupid spandex body suits and try busking or whatever it takes.

SAGITTARIUS: Wilfred Brimley won’t be the only one with diabetes if you don’t curb the craft root beer frenzy. Ya, it’s hip to be into crafty shit but do you remember uncle Doug? He was crafty as hell but ended up shaving his beard into a monkey tail. Shit got weird, but you don’t have to. Your lucky number is pi.

VIRGO: Major boner back there. Whose idea were the white pants and Zildjian drummer’s vests on stage? Fire everyone and everything around you and start fresh. If you fail to make the necessary changes it could be years before your life stops feeling like a low budget zombie flick.

OPHIUCHUS: You’re pregnant and the baby is going to be clammy, like all the time.

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