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The ICCM Journal | Spring 2021 | V89 No. 1
it’s all a bit of a puzzle Sue Holden explains the complexities of the management of funerals. The world of death management and funerals is a bit like a jigsaw puzzle. There are some very distinct pieces and areas of the puzzle that make up the overall picture. For example, funeral directors and staff, coffin makers, crematorium managers and staff, clergy and of course funeral celebrants. But where are the pieces that make up the funeral celebrants? Lost? Discarded? Still in the box? Who knows? but it certainly seems that funeral celebrants are not in the jigsaw, leaving the final picture incomplete. This has become very evident to the Institute of Civil Funerals over this last Covid-19 year where the need for information, communication and the ability to work together with funeral directors and crematorium staff has been highlighted with the ever- changing rules and regulations around holding funerals. Celebrants have a large and vital role to play in the completion of the death process. They get the families to where they need to be, for the funeral service is often seen as the final point of closure or affirmation that a loved one has died. Of course, it is not in isolation which is why celebrants need to have good working relations with their funeral directors and crematorium staff as well as their families. Celebrants can quite quickly build close, trusting, supportive relationships with a family so helping everyone with the funeral process. They help families to create and have the type of service that is personal and meaningful, maybe one of celebration yet still dignified and respectful. They can help funeral directors and crematorium staff to convey information and to manage family expectations. The funeral service is a very public scene in the death process. It can be comforting, fitting and is likely to be the most remembered and yes, enjoyable act! Many people have come out of a service and said, “I really enjoyed that” and then caught themselves as they realised what they had said and where they were! Part of the jigsaw of a good funeral service are the pieces made with the crematorium staff. It is much appreciated by celebrants when crematoriums put them on the list of those to inform of not only national rulings but their own local ones. For example, changes in service times, numbers, singing or no singing. It has also been appreciated that some crematorium managers have been open to suggestions from celebrants into making the funeral experience more acceptable to the bereaved families during the pandemic. For example, some have agreed to install screens around the lectern or additional microphones for families to use or allowed the celebrant to control the closing of the curtain, (often a very distressing moment), at the end whilst still making sure that families cannot approach the coffin. Part of that ‘enjoyable’ experience is down to the crematoriums
and celebrants being able to work together. So, maybe the celebrant jigsaw pieces are still in the box waiting to be taken out? The Institute of Civil Funerals has contributed to the CMA report several times, has asked to be part of the FSCSR discussions and to contribute towards the thinking of DAMG, NAFD and SAIF. We are associate members of the last two groups yet are in no way represented by them and can only stand by to pick up relevant crumbs of information intended for their full members. It seems that from the Government down the vital and visible part that a celebrant plays is not often recognised. If there were no celebrants leading funeral services and helping to look after bereaved families, what would the funeral jigsaw picture look like? Equally, the Government needs, I feel, to proffer the funeral industry as a whole a bit more importance. At the moment it seems that those who are talking at Cabinet level are always having to ask and wait around for clarification as to what exactly new advice means and to whom exactly it applies. The pandemic story does not stop at the time of death. Throughout the pandemic, celebrants have continued to work alongside their funeral directors and crematoriums, allowing funerals to go ahead pretty much as normal. Although numbers and some timings at crematoriums have been reduced plus the implementation of social distancing controls, the actual content, meaning, and dignity of a service has not been lost. The final rite of passage has been completed. Celebrants have adapted to family meetings online, held virtual ceremonies and are available for further memorials when Covid-19 is under control. Many people still do not know about celebrants and the work we do. Perhaps we are not a big enough group and are not united under one umbrella? Maybe there is confusion as to who we belong to? Are we independent or employed by the funeral directors? When information is relevant and available how is it disseminated? Is it time for regulation? Until some of these questions are considered there will be no answers. My wish for the coming New Year is that within the funeral industry some of these questions are answered, that celebrants are given a voice and are recognised for the part played. We want to help everyone to give and to have the best possible funeral that there is, to be informed and to work with our funeral directors and crematoriums. Only then can we complete the fine jigsaw picture that the funeral industry is. Sue Holden
