OPINIONS

Stalking professors and other advice for getting into your dream college

Editor-in-Chief

ollege application season Cis a stressful time for high school seniors, but luckily for you, I have chosen to share my extensive knowledge in this internet research and word of mouth. Here are some handy tips for how to craft the most successful college application.

The most important part of the college process is going out of your way to show “demonstrated interest” to prove to colleges that you might want to go there because— as we all know— the process of actually applying to the college, writing several supplementary essays (often including one on why you want to go there) and something we do just for kicks. Start by following the colleges you’re applying to on all of your social media accounts, then tracking down and following admissions staff, all the professors in your intended major and at least half of all attending students. If you end up getting a couple re you know you’ve done well because your demonstrated interest is now legally documented. The most direct form of demonstrated interest, however, are your emails to admissions of as often as you like. Remember hear about your personality and unique passions, so tell them about the burrito you ate for lunch or your plot predictions for the new season of Outer Banks. When colleges reach out to you through mass emails, never ignore them. Show them how honored you feel through a simple response like, “Thank you so much for thinking of me and sending me this mass email: it really made my day.” If the mailing address includes the words “do-not-reply,” remember that this is simply a trap and it is all the more essential for you to respond, thus distinguishing yourself among the most dedicated applicants.

We all know that admissions to your essay no earlier than midnight and spend no more than 10 seconds reading it, so the most important part is the hook. A single all-caps word of onomatopoeia, the craziest unrelated fun fact, or even a nice long keyboard smash should have the desired will wipe down his spectacles ure out what is wrong with you. For the rest of your essay, the goal is to evoke some strong emotion from the reader. People usually go for the obvious— making them laugh or cry— but there is a world of lesser-used emotions at your disposal. Make the ad sonally attacking them, or make them cringe with disgust by describing how sick you got when you ate that moldy Ritz cracker from your backpack pocket. And remem ber— they only have a few seconds to read your essay, so this is the time to use your years of practice in texting abbreviations, and nothing better conveys personality than properly placed emojis.

Get the Activities List done as early as possible. We all know you might not col lect trash at the beach once a month because you’re this great climate advocate, and you might not harbor a long-lived passion for the club you joined two weeks ago, and that’s okay. What matters more is describing those activities in the most overcomplicated language possible to make them sound super impressive. Wrong! You single-handedly administered and facilitated the zero-cost market distribution of your self-designed, consumer-centric advertising model. As you scroll through col answers like family member information or additional test scores. The word counts on these are often way more than you ac half of that essay you had to cut down and paste it in there. And remember, even a single extra unused word on any question sends a clear signal to colleges that you don’t care enough to put forth your best effort. After all, brevity is never a skill you’d need post-high-school. As for the rest of these tips (alas, I’ve reached my word count), you tered throughout my web articles, the end of my staff bio and the last page of my math home work.

Demonstrated Interest

If you end up getting a couple restraining orders filed against you, you know you’ve done well. The Essays Graphic by Madeline Michalowski ’22

The Common App