Graphics by Rachel Greenberg ’22, Aidan Rodgers ’22 & Katie Simons ’22
OPINIONS
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The Customer is Always “Right” And other tips for surviving part-time jobs* Jared Leonard ’22 Opinions Editor
Madeline Michalowski ’22
Assistant Creative Director *HUMOR
A
s hell, oops, I mean school begins, you somehow thought a part time job at a boutique downtown would be a lovely
way to spend your afternoon. Ah, how naive. This must be your first job. You truly have no idea what you’ve actually gotten yourself into. Allow us, if we may, to offer some words of advice: Get out while you can. After two summers of working in customer service during high school, we, Jared and Madeline, are self-described experts. So, by following some of our advice
3:00 pm: Make sure you clock in right away because there’s no way in hell you’re working for free. Let’s be honest, you’re only here for the money and that’s okay. We get it.
4:30 pm:
You hear your stomach growl and lucki-
ly your “break” is here. Now, you’d think you would be able to sit down and refuel after hours of dealing with half of Fairfield County. Maybe you’d like to check your phone, answer your mom’s text or even eat your PB&J. You thought wrong. Inhale that sandwich like you’ve never eaten before because a rush just came in and some teenage girls want to know if you have that crop top in an extra small.
6:15pm:
and past experiences, we might be able to help prevent countless breakdowns, anxiety attacks and tear-filled bathroom breaks. To start off, if you plan to work weekends, make sure you set numerous alarms for the next morning and ensure that your ringer is on. Now, this may seem like a menial and obvious task, but trust us, you don’t want to wake up late and
3:30 pm:
might feel like you’ve earned a smoothie bowl or that shirt sitting in your online cart, but you’re playing a dangerous game. Continue down this path and just as quickly as you got paid, you’ll have spent your entire paycheck. Good job! You’ve made it through the day and if you think
that was bad, you’ve got a long year ahead. Hopefully, our advice has helped and you look back on your day with at least a
Your first customer arrives and she
may appear to be an understanding Westport mom, but her fast-paced walk up to the register makes it clear that she’s on the warpath. Get ready because she wants the manager. She purchased a dress from the store three years ago and as expected, the seam is starting to wear, but she demands her money back. You quickly make it clear that you’re new here so you’re still learning the ropes. Wrong move. Never show weakness. After 30 minutes of verbal abuse, she finally leaves and you just stand there, dumbfounded. Nevertheless, plaster on your fake smile and newly developed customer service voice. It’s just easier that way.
6:00 pm: After a long day of work, you
have to fabricate some ridiculous lie to your boss. However, if you do find yourself needing a quick lie that is guaranteed to work, some classics include having a flat tire, thinking you were on the schedule for later in the day or even having a family emergency. Remember, honesty isn’t the best policy here—if you want to keep your job, that is.
After serving 10 Karens, sever-
al obnoxious groups of teenage girls and a couple of clueless dads shopping for their daughters, you can finally close up for the day. You walk out to your car with messy hair, wrinkled clothes and a dwindling will to live. You check your phone and see that your friends have made plans for the night. Take it from us: your social battery is drained, so just go home.
small sense of pride, aside from your humiliation. We know it’s miserable, but if it really gets to the point where you can’t stand
it anymore, you can always quit in a blaze of glory. After all, a good quitting story could make a great college essay topic.
