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Consider some innovative products to help you age in place.
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Square dancing is a great way to exercise and meet friends.
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A crop of exciting new books expected for fall.
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Late-life romances curb loneliness, bring joy.
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For
For
Make brunch the most relaxing meal of the day.
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Phyllis Bex discusses all the applianes we need in life.
STORY BY jOYce lOng PHOTOS BY MARK FReelAnD
Whenever Judy Chatham walks into a bookstore or library, she heads straight to the biography section. Not only is Chatham fascinated by reading about people’s lives, but she enjoys writing about them as evidenced by the four published memoirs of people she didn’t know until interviewing them.
In 2020 Judy’s friend Linda Moreland, owner of Rumours Beauty Salon in Greenwood, told her, “Father wants to write his life story.” Chatham soon began interviewing Horst Otto Michaelis, who explained what the Von Trapp children depicted in “The Sound of Music” escaped and how he had lived in Austria.
Thinking they were fleeing danger, Horst’s mother and her two sons left Halberstadt, Germany, for towns south of Vienna, Austria, only to walk into more danger. At the end of World War II, they fled from the constant bombing and Nazi occupation by taking Red Cross-secured trains for Kiel, Germany, where they were reunited with his father and brother. Michaelis lived there until he was 18 years old.
In 1955 he arrived in America wearing a Nazi green wool coat with 16 cents in his pocket and lived with his uncle in Chicago. Soon he met and married Helga Schwinn, the great-great granddaughter of Ignaz Schwinn (1860-1948), who co-founded and eventually owned Schwinn bicycles.
His story, The Life and Adventures of Horst Otto Michaelis, published spring 2023, ends with details as to how his business, Indiana Architectural Plywood, began, grew and ended up in Trafalgar at 750 E. Park St.
“Working with Horst was a true delight because every day we covered a new adventure, told with a twinkle in his eye,” Chatham said. Books can be purchased at his office, 317-878-4322.
Chatham’s first experience writing memoirs came through sponsoring the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) Girls Club at Center Grove High School, where she taught English from 1976-1983. Through Central Indiana FCA activities, she became friends with Mildred Moore, her
counterpart at Westfield High School, who had heard Billie Cash, the wife of Johnny Cash’s nephew, speak in Memphis, Tennessee. Through Moore’s referral, Chatham secured her first opportunity to interview, write and edit a memoir, “Windows of Assurance” (2001).
Billie Cash then referred her friend, Betty Hendon, who described her drive out of Memphis the night fires illuminated the city after Martin Luther King’s assassination.
“The Bridge: Unexpected Help with Life’s Crossings” (2003) chronicles living life on a higher plane, a concept Chatham embraces as a Christian. Ironically, the next time Chatham had the opportunity to write about a person’s life came when she conducted a seminar about writing memoirs in a Carmel law office, where she met Dr. George H. Rawls and his wife, Lula. After talking with her, Dr. Rawls exclaimed, “You’re going to write my life story.” So, she did. Consequently, “Papa, I Want to Be a Surgeon” was published in 2003.
Chatham has written six other books including “A Whirlwind’s Breath” (1998); “The Amber Necklace” (2003); “Picnic on the Grounds” (2006); “Journal for Girls” (2007); “Swing Low” (2012); and “When Sunday Looks Like Tuesday” (2021), with the latter being the most autobiographical.
A prolific writer, Chatham began writing after the age of 55, but her early career involved literary pursuits, beginning with a master’s degree in English from Indiana University. She taught for two years in Cass County, then worked for Vincennes University for three years before moving to Greenwood. Her resume continues: Greenwood Public Library (1972-75); Center Grove High School (1976-83); and IUPUI’s Writing Program (1983-2003). In recent years, Chatham has evaluated Christian books for the Evangelical Christian Publishers Association, which is dedicated to networking, information and advocacy.
While aging is inevitable, it doesn’t mean you can’t do so with grace and style. For many seniors hoping to look and feel their best, there are plenty of options, from the clothing they wear to products they use every day. Choosing more ‘stylish’ safety accessories is one way to go.
To improve quality of life and inspire confidence, Medline, a leading provider of consumer medical products, teamed up with Martha Stewart to introduce the Martha Stewart Home Comfort Care Collection. The line of design-inspired safety and mobility products combines sophisticated design and dependability to help those who use them look and feel their best.
“We are excited to enter into this unique partnership,” said Dawn Freitag, Medline senior marketing manager.
“Martha Stewart’s signature style has always set the standard for better, more enjoyable living and this line of mobility and bath safety products is no exception. We believe these fashionable, modern designs along with our
top-rated quality and value pricing will help seniors live their happiest, healthiest lives with exceptional safety, security and style.”
Consider these supportive care products to maximize style and safety, and find the full collection by visiting athome.medline.com.
The right mobility aid can help you navigate your home. One option, the Adjustable Rolling Walker, combines a chic, sporty checked pattern with renowned functional features to help you easily stand and walk safely and independently. Its smooth-rolling, all-terrain wheels make it easy to get around in or outside of your home while push-down, locking brakes are ready for a rest stop at any time. Plus, it easily folds for travel and storage, and features under-seat storage and adjustable easy-grip handles for a custom fit and fashionable function.
The most essential purpose of bathroom safety aids is to prevent falls on wet, slippery surfaces. Beyond securely-attached bath mats and grab bars, the Martha Stewart Euro-Style Shower Chair allows you to sit while showering for extra peace of mind. With built-in handgrips and a backrest for comfort, the rust-resistant chair also features adjustable, push-button height settings to improve stability and built-in Microban protection to resist mold and mildew.
There are numerous products designed to maximize rest, relaxation and safety in and around your bed. To help you get in and out of bed, an Adjustable Bed Assist Bar slides around the side of the mattress — without floor legs that may pose a tripping hazard — to offer support. With a stylish faux woodgrain bag design and neutral color, the bar seamlessly blends in with bedding and linens to provide both function and flair.
Writing is also a vital part of Chatham’s legacy. When her grandmother died in 1971, her father felt led to continue his mother’s writings, which she began in 1935. “A year later, in 1972 after Dad died, I felt the need to continue recording family history,” she said.
Her private journal is half diary and half ideas for the next writing — “thoughts and things I’ve finally figured out about life.”
She has written about events, some traumatic, like her oldest son Steve’s leukemia and his brother Brian’s brain tumor. Chatham calls those years their family’s “dark night of the soul.” Her free verse poem, “A Party in Room 346,” personifies a small part of that.
Both sons recovered and now work for Healthcare Therapy Services, which was started by their father, Barry, in 1988 after he received his degree in speech and hearing. Steve oversees the operations of Senior Helpers, while Brian’s position involves recruiting therapists and nurses.
Chatham summarizes her writing career as “tremendously fulfilling through it all, like a roller coaster describing life.”
Well said. Well lived.
Saturday night in January, Room 346, not far from the nurse’s station, Two boys punch up pillows and pull back curtains; They have declared a time-out As the streets and rooftops fill up with snow. This is the first party for occupants of Room 346— These two having missed the scheduled social season. Popcorn in hand, Push-up pops waiting, Two fourteen-year-old boys, With pale faces and hollow, circled eyes, Call a shut down On test tubes, Vomit pans, injections, pills, drips, transfused blood, and IV poles,
For one brief moment, they laugh at Travel advisories that have caused their mothers to be cloistered into the teen unit too, And share a few stories of what they will do when they walk out
STORY AnD PHOTOS BY AMAnDA STevenSOn-HOlMeS
Legend had it that there was an Irish castle in my family’s history. And I was determined to find and visit it. My maternal grandfather is a Doyle, and he loves to spin tales of our Irish ancestry during our conversations and family gatherings.
“It used to be O’Doyle, you know?” he still asks. I nod yes.
“You know Doyle stands for dark foreigner?” he asks again.
I used to nod yes, but after my ancestry research, I offer additional details to him about how this refers to our darkhaired Danish ancestors ... the same Danish ancestors that my brother described as “berserker” Vikings who invaded Ireland in a family history report he wrote during high school. When he shared his findings with the family, we all nodded in agreement. We understood.
There was also this legend about a castle. A niece, cousin, on Great Uncle Morris’ side had found it, so it had to exist. Right?
Although I used the paid version of Ancestry.com for my family tree research, I later discovered free and local resources through any of the Johnson County Public Library branches and the Johnson County Genealogy and Local History Library at the Johnson County Museum of History. In addition to having staff who can help with your research, the museum offers free access to the Ancestry Library Edition, original county records, family histories, family files, obituaries, cemetery records, scrapbooks, yearbooks, phone directories, and much more.
The museum’s genealogy librarian, Linda Tally, started her own family research many years ago to help her sons know about their grandparents, her parents, who had passed at a young age.
“If there was anybody who was going to teach them about their grandparents or great grandparents, it had to be me,” Tally said.
Tally said there are many reasons why people get started in genealogy.
“Sometimes there’s a secret or someone disappeared and left the family, and others have medical reasons,” explained Tally.
And sometimes there’s a castle. She and I discussed how family research is like a real-life puzzle, a mystery or fill-in-the-blank to be solved.
For those wanting to fill in the blanks of your family history and have hands-on help with their research, Tally will host special workshops at the museum during October, which is National Genealogy Month. Located at 135 N. Main Street in Franklin, the museum is open Tuesday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Saturday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Learn more by calling 317-3464500 or visiting www.johnson countymuseum.org. Follow them on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @johnsoncomuseum.
During my quest for the castle and other historic family details, I learned the National Museum of Ireland and EPIC: The Irish Immigration Museum offer family research resources.
The National Museum of Ireland Archive, also known as NMIAS, is a designated place responsible for preserving and providing access to its historical papers, collections records and relevant collections of private archives. From the United States, you can email central archive inquiries to archive@museum.ie and you can learn more at www.museum.ie.
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In partnership with the National Museum of Ireland, the Irish Community Archive Network or iCAN is a free project developing digital community archives across Ireland. To date, iCAN has supported the creation and development of 33 online archives in counties Clare, Cork, Galway, Mayo and Wicklow. The project aims to support the development of at least 80 digital archives across Ireland by 2028. If you’re looking for family information from a specific county in Ireland, include www. ouririshheritage.org in your search.
Once you’re across the pond and at the EPIC museum, you can ask their resident genealogists for help in the Irish Family History Centre for a small fee. They encourage you to start with what you know and they’ll help you discover the rest. Consultations must be booked 24 hours in advance. If you would like to contact the museum with any queries or questions in
advance of making a booking, you can contact them by email at foh@irishfamilyhistorycentre.com. Learn more at www. epicchq.com.
When talking to retired Marketing Communications Assistant Pam Caito with the Johnson County Public Library, she inspired these six tips when researching your family history.
Ask your living relatives what they know – relatives’ names, birth years and places where they lived. They may be off a year or two but the information helps you get closer to the right answer.
Use a system, like the free Ancestry Library Edition, to track information. Or write information down in a journal or create a spreadsheet where you can easily organize new data and make updates as needed.
Play with names and go with what you know. If you’re not starting with a lot of information, piece it together one person at a time.
Check out www.newspapers.com through the Johnson County Genealogy and Local History Library at the Johnson County Museum of History. All the old newspapers of Johnson County have been digitized and are searchable through this platform. “It’s such a boost to our local research,” shared Caito.
Be patient with yourself as you learn to navigate the system and work to find new information. Your family tree wasn’t built in a day and neither will your genealogy research.
Question family legend, meaning don’t assume every story passed down through the years is true. Remember the game telephone? Family stories change or get updated, and your research will help you uncover the truth.
Through my Ancestry.com research, seven generations back, there she was — the castle. But not on the Doyle side of the family tree. Clues ran out on the Doyle — or Doyel — branch after five generations. Instead, the castle was on my great, great, great grandmother Nancy Estes’ side. Her maternal great grandfather and my sixth great grandfather was Sir Lawrence J. Butler of Dunboyne Castle, County Meath, Dublin, Ireland.
The castle no longer exists and has changed hands several times since the late 1700s. A hotel and spa now sit on the property, which I had the opportunity to visit and enjoy tea.
Looks like that niece, cousin, on Great Uncle Morris’ side was right after all, and this particular family legend is true.
Be patient with yourself as you learn to navigate the system and work to find new information. Your family tree wasn’t built in a day and neither will your genealogy research.
Perhaps you’ve tried pickleball. Or swimming. Or even Zumba. But have you considered square dancing for exercise?
Basically walking set to music, square dancing is a low-impact aerobic exercise that can be elevated into a “fairly good cardio activity depending on how you go about it,” according to Bill Garrison, president of the Greenwood Merry Mixers, a square dancing group that meets the third Saturday evening of each month from 7:30 to 10 p.m. at the Greenwood Presbyterian Church, 102 W. Main St., Greenwood.
“You can dance smoothly or jump around to get your heart rate up. An evening of square dancing can be the equivalent of a
5-mile walk in a two-hour dance,” he added. On average dancers take about 3,840 steps and burn 200 to 400 calories in 30 minutes.
Twirling through an evening may seem an obvious way to burn calories, but square dancing has other, more subtle benefits.
For instance, did you realize that square dancing improves memory recall? Garrison cited research that shows learning and executing the 68 basic movements — such as dosado, allemande left and promenade — can elevate memory retention. The constant brain activity increases mental capacity because the dancer must remember which step to take, when to turn and whom to swing.
“It uses both sides of the brain with its cross-lateral movements,” he noted.
Square dancing also increases dancers’ balance and coordination and improves listening skills, stated Paula Egenolf, publicity chair for the Greenwood Merry Mixers. As a weight-bearing activity, it’s also good for bone health.
Additionally, square dancing has a lot of social benefits. Square dancing requires four couples and it is said to relieve stress, enhance mental health, trigger laughter and promote teamwork, according to the website www.squaredanceindiana.org. It can even lead to travel opportunities as dancers visit other clubs or attend conventions. Developing friendships is a common outcome of square dancing, too. Garrison met his late wife while square dancing, he said.
But if you’re turned off by a vision of yourself in layers of petticoats or a western snap shirt, square dance clothing has become more casual, just as society has, Egenolf said.
“People can come in casual attire and tennis shoes. T-shirts and jeans are okay. You don’t have to buy expensive dance shoes either. You can buy little stockings that go over tennis shoes to create a smooth shoe surface for dancing.”
Square dancing is easier than line dancing for many. The caller and other dancers can provide help. And those who are embarrassed by their free-styling dance moves can take comfort in having a pattern to follow, according to the Ozone Squares website.
Dancers don’t need to have a partner to take lessons or to participate. Individuals are easily incorporated into this type of group dancing. It doesn’t require any special physical ability. Garrison said some clubs are even handi-capable.
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Square dancing also can be a family affair. There are no age limits; Garrison knows of dancers as young as five and as old as 103. Age 40 is about the youngest of the Merry Mixers’ dancers, Egenolf added.
“Square dancing used to be a family activity. But since the millennium, we can’t seem to get young people interested,” Garrison lamented. “We’d love to get more people of all ages involved.”
“Square dancing is an inexpensive night out,” Egenolf noted. People can come to watch the Merry Mixers at no charge. If they choose to join the club, the annual dues are $15, with the cover charge for participating in a dance at $6 for members and $7 for non-members to cover expenses. Snacks and drinks are a small extra cost. “It’s great socialization. Where else can you go out for that amount of money?” she said.
Square dancing doesn’t use just country and western music these days. “We use other genres, too. Pop is the main one,” Egenolf said.
The Greenwood Merry Mixers will be starting square dancing lessons Wednesday, Sept. 20 at the MJ Ballroom, 88 U.S. 31 S., Greenwood. Classes are held 7:30-9:30 p.m. September classes are free; after that it’s $3 per person.
Couples and singles are welcome.
Info: Bill Garrison, 317432-9236 or bgarrison27@ comcast.net.
Garrison added, “We need something with a good, steady beat to have something to move to. We also dance to oldies, classic rock, movie and show tunes and standards. We’ve even tried rap music.”
Not only is Garrison president, but he is also a square and round dance caller. He’s one of several callers who lead dances for the Merry Mixers. Doug Cline is another member who calls dances.
Currently there are 22 members of the Merry Mixers, including five original members from the club’s inception in November 2007. About 32 to 40 people typically attend a dance.
Square dancing lessons will start in September (International Square Dancing Month) at MJ Ballroom, 88 U.S. 31 S. Greenwood. There’s no charge for the first two lessons; then the cost will be $8 per lesson. During the 15-18 lessons, dancers learn the mainstream movements or calls to make them competent, Egenolf said.
If you’re ready to “live lively, square dance,” contact Bill Garrison at 317-432-9236 or bgarrison27@comcast.net.
STORY BY FAMilY FeATuReS
PHOTO BY unSPlASH
While almost all bird seed may look the same to you, it doesn’t to the birds you’re feeding. Knowing what kinds of seeds different birds like can help you attract a variety of fine feathered friends to your feeders.
Consider these popular seed types and the common backyard birds they attract:
Sunflower — Black sunflower seeds attract blue jays, goldfinches, woodpeckers, purple finches, chickadees, titmice and nuthatches. Striped sunflower seeds appeal to chickadees, doves, grosbeaks, northern cardinals, nuthatches, titmice and woodpeckers. Sunflower hearts (also known as “hulled sunflower” and “sunflower chips”) attract chickadees, common redpolls, juncos, doves, finches, goldfinches, grosbeaks, nuthatches, pine siskins, titmice and woodpeckers.
Nyjer — These lightweight, tiny seeds are a favorite of goldfinches. Put nyjer seeds in a hanging feeder with tiny holes so the small seeds won’t get blown away. Nyjer also attracts redpolls, juncos, doves, indigo bunting and pine siskin.
Safflower — These white seeds are slightly smaller than black sunflower
seeds. Because they are bitter, grackles, blue jays, starlings - and squirrels - don’t like them. However, they do attract doves, purple finches, chickadees, titmice and downy woodpeckers.
White millet — Good for scattering on the ground, white millet attracts ground feeders such as juncos, sparrows, indigo buntings, towhees and mourning doves.
Cracked corn — Popular with ground feeders, cracked corn appeals to doves, crows, jays, sparrows, juncos and towhees. Avoid getting finely cracked corn as it’s vulnerable to rot and can quickly turn to mush.
When choosing a bird seed mix, pay attention to the ingredients list on the package. Bird seed is required by law to list ingredients in order of content. Some cheaper mixes have filler seeds such as wheat, red milo, red millet or “assorted grain products.” Most backyard birds won’t eat those, and your seed mix could end up wasted on the ground.
Learn more about making your backyard an oasis for birds of all kinds at eLivingtoday.com.
Six generations of our family have supported and assisted this community during difficult times. Today, we continue to help those who need our services. As a local, family-owned funeral home, we are deeply committed to every family who walks through our doors. You can trust our expertise when the time comes. When
BY cHRiS HewiTT, STAR TRiBune PHOTO BY TnS
SScreen stars and literary stars will share the shelf space at bookstores in the coming weeks. With new books from Ann Patchett, Jamel Brinkley and others, late summer began with a bang but was then light on new titles. Think of it as the calm before the biblio-storm.
Some of the biggest names in publishing — and biggest names, period — will hit bookstores in the coming weeks. Fall is always a jam-packed season, es -
pecially for titles from our leading literary lights, but the next couple of months present so many superstars that this list of 12 didn’t have room for bestselling writers such as Alexander McCall Smith or Richard Osman, who have new entries in their beloved mystery series next month.
Here are the even dozen who made the cut in order of starry brightness. It all starts with a door-stopper that is destined to cause some pulled muscles.
The “Funny Girl’s” memoir, “My Name Is Barbra,” is big in every way you can think of. Its press run is 1 million copies, a huge number at a time when only a few books each year sell that many copies. It’s, gulp, 1,040 pages. And it’s priced at $47, gargantuan even considering inflation. The octogenarian EGOT, who said she’s been jotting down notes since 2009, officially announced her autobiography in 2015.
It was supposed to be published two years later, but people who need people to tell us the stories of their lives will finally get Streisand’s when “My Name” hits stores Nov. 7.
How many times would you guess “The Firm” author has been asked to write a sequel to that blockbuster debut? A zillion? Well, it’s finally here. Lawyer Mitch McDeere, who fled the country after exposing crooks he worked with in “The Firm,” is back to lawyering 15 years later in “The Exchange.” And back to sticking his nose in business that may again force him to escape to somewhere remote.
Coming Oct. 17.
If Streisand weren’t finally unleashing her life story, Washington’s “Thicker Than Water” would be the biggest Hollywood name on bookstore shelves. Instead, the “Scandal” star will settle for second as she spills the beans on that show, sexism/racism in Hollywood, activism and her marriage to NFL star Nnamdi Asomugha in this tell-all (or at least -some).
Coming Sept. 26.
With “Holly,” the horrormeister revisits the empath who starred in his “The Outsider” (as well as the HBO Max series of the same name, where Holly Gibney was played by Cynthia Erivo). Now the proprietor of a detective agency, she’s called in on a missing persons case that, like “The Outsider,” has an uncanny dimension. This time that dimension lives in the home of a seemingly kind elderly couple.
Coming Sept. 5
5. Kate DiCamillo
Jonesing for some new DiCamillo?
The Minneapolis writer published a picture book last Christmas, but it’s been two years since her last novel, “The Beatryce Prophecy.”
She’s been busy. “Puppets,” the first in a planned trilogy of illustrated fairy tales, hits stores Oct. 10 and next spring brings two more from the two-time Newbery Award winner, a middle-grade novel called “Ferris” and the first in a new chapter book series.
With “Roman Stories,” the Pulitzer Prize winner returns to the format that earned her that award for “Interpreter of Maladies”: short stories. Inspired by her move to Rome and efforts to learn Italian, “Roman Stories” comes with an unusual flex: The U.K. native wrote the stories in Italian and then translated them, with the help of Todd Portnowitz, into English.
Coming Oct. 10.
“Lincoln Lawyer” Mickey Haller and his half-brother, regular Connelly detective Harry Bosch, team up to spring a woman who’s in prison for the murder of her husband, a sheriff’s deputy. She says she didn’t do it.
As Haller and Bosch bump into roadblock after roadblock during their investigation in “Resurrection Walk,” they search for the real killer.
Coming Nov. 7.
The English writer has produced one international bestseller after another since her 1997 debut, “White Teeth.” Her latest is her first historical novel, set in the 1870s. Its narrator is Eliza, a housekeeper who becomes fascinated with a (true) court case in which, despite considerable evidence to the contrary, a man claimed to be the missing heir to a fortune and title. His unlikely assertion was supported by the claimant’s companion, an enslaved man whom Eliza befriends and who exerts a powerful pull on “The Fraud.”
Coming Sept. 5.
As freelancers reached out to the Star Tribune about the possibility of reviewing fall books, two titles were requested by virtually all of them: “The Fraud” and “The Vaster Wilds” from Groff, whose “Fates and Furies” — a marital portrait as thriller — was a ginormous hit.
Here, she crafts an adventure tale, set in America’s colonial years, about a servant woman on the run. It’s like “Robinson Crusoe” but with more worm-eating.
Coming Sept. 12.
The comedian and Duluth, Minnesota native’s “Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult” is subtitled “A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere.” Bamford has been vocal about her bipolar disorder and in “Cult,” she details the many, many groups she has joined (Overeaters Anonymous, Suzuki violin) in an attempt to figure out where she fits in.
Coming Sept. 5.
Writing with Joy Baker, the blogger Wetterling credits with helping solve the murder of her son Jacob, who was killed in 1989, one of Minnesota’s most beloved figures offers behind-the-scenes details of the case. But “Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope” is also about Wetterling’s efforts to help grieving parents and improve techniques used to investigate sex offenders.
The other octogenarian with a careerspanning autobiography coming out in the next few months is the veteran rocker, whose book is named for one of his most popular songs with the Family Stone: “Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin).” Back in the spotlight because of his electrifying appearance in the Oscar-winning “Summer of Soul” (whose director, Questlove, is publishing the book), Stone writes about success but also the many decades in which he has faded from public view.
Coming Oct. 17.
tThe 71-year-old star of the “Golden Bachelor” TV spinoff premiering this fall says “it’s never too late to fall in love again,” and he wants to share the “sunset years of life” with a woman who is “high energy.”
I might be able to help.
Lately, women of a certain age have been revealing intimate details of their lives to me. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, since I’ve been chronicling the burdens and blessings of aging for the last eight months, and readers have stepped up to shatter stereotypes.
Cathy, a 71-year-old Inland Empire resident, certainly sounds high energy, although the Golden Bachelor will have to wait in line, because she’s involved with an 81-year-old bon vivant.
“We see each other three to four times a week including lunches, dinners, shopping and regular, satisfying, extraordinary, wild monkey sex,” Cathy wrote in an email.
OK now.
Cathy explained by phone that she and her boyfriend are married to other people and intend to remain so, but one spouse had a stroke and the other is
institutionalized. For her and her paramour, being with each other is a welcome comfort, she said. As for the physical part, they each know what they want “and aren’t afraid to ask for it.”
“Age can indeed be a benefit,” said Cathy.
A Santa Monica resident named Mackay, 79, would agree.
“I have never been more in love,” she declared in an email, telling me she met an 81-year-old man on a dating app after a decade of caring for, and eventually losing her husband, to Alzheimer’s.
“I have never had better sex,” Mackay went on. “We both use canes for balance. And when we go out we often get comments from young people about how romantic and ‘cute’ we are together. We smile at each other and say to ourselves, ‘if they only knew what we do in bed.’”
Ordinarily a journalist wants as many details as possible, but there are exceptions.
As a public service announcement, I’d like to point out that being frisky can be risky, and I don’t know if Medicare covers treatment for everything that can go wrong. So be careful, as both the AARP and Good Housekeeping have
warned. Alarming spikes in sexually transmitted diseases have been reported among older adults in recent years, thanks in part to magic pills for men, dating apps and changing norms.
“Gone are the days when people got married and stayed married,” said Paul Nash, a USC gerontology professor who studies sexual behavior among older adults. Some of them naively think there’s no risk of STDs, he said, and neither they nor their doctors talk about it.
I headed out to Palm Springs for a bit of my own research and stopped into the Mizell senior center, where Annette Spina, 84, made a trenchant observation.
“I’ve noticed a lot of single elderly people ... playing pickleball and hooking up,” Spina said. “A lot of the relationships have turned into really good marriages.”
The Golden Bachelor, by the way, a widower, says he wants to meet someone who plays pickleball. If he lived in Palm Springs, perhaps he wouldn’t need a TV show to find a date.
Spina runs the senior center’s Mah Jongg class, which was attended by several gay men who gave me a quick primer on current romantic trends in the local gay community. They said throuples — a relationship involving three people — are a thing. And that open marriages are not at all uncommon.
David Salyer, 67, told me he’s in a monogamous relationship, but said he and his husband are not the norm in the desert.
“If you’re a man,” Salyer said, “you’re most likely going out to bars and going out on dates and hooking up with guys on Grindr.”
I guess love has always been complicated, which may be why not everyone at the senior center is looking for romance.
“I don’t want to find a guy and have to take care of him in a couple of years,” said Michele Dunphy, a widow.
I mentioned that I was heading to The Nest, an Indian Wells restaurant and nightclub where desert love birds have flocked for decades. This brought a nervous chuckle from Dunphy’s friend, Angela.
“I flew out of there,” said Angela, who told me she once danced with a man who was entirely too happy to see her, and she has not returned.
It was an off-season Tuesday night, but I found a lively scene at The Nest, where owner Dodi Henry said numerous couples
have gotten married after meeting there. She said she runs a classy and comfortable meeting place for people of all ages, not a pickup bar. There’s live music and dancing, and though she and her husband Kevin have split, his band was performing that night.
John Russo told me he was divorced and spent years dropping by The Nest and other places looking for a relationship. Five years ago, he met a widow named Wendy on a dating app and they decided to see a movie for their first date.
“When I walked into that theater and saw her, I knew she was the one,” said Russo, who sat with his wife of five years at the piano bar, waiting for the music to begin and for their friend Roz Walanka to join them.
I can’t say whether anyone on the dance floor was on the prowl for wild monkey sex. But if I had to bet, I’d say most were happy just to get out of the house and have a nice time with friends, or strangers, on a hot summer night. Loneliness among older adults has been called an epidemic, and these people are doing what they can to escape it.
An 86-year-old man named Bill danced every dance, as did a woman in a cowboy hat who told me she’s been there every night for 20 years. Brenda Olivares, who’s married, danced with her gal pals, including Helen Maricza, who said she wouldn’t mind meeting someone.
When Walanka arrived to hang out with her pals, the Russos, she told me she’s been single for many years and would like to find “a companion for my titanium years.”
But she doesn’t want to be a nurse or a purse, a phrase I heard more than once in the desert.
Walanka is 76, but “I want somebody younger because I have a lot of life in me and I want to go and do things and have fun with whatever time I have left … If you can make me laugh and you can dance halfway, you’re in.”
She said that at the urging of friends, she applied to be a contestant on “Golden Bachelor,” but hasn’t heard back. Her expectations are low.
“They’re not going to put a 76-year-old woman with a 71-year-old man,” Walanka said.
You never know. She looks younger than the Golden Bachelor, there’s plenty of pickleball in the desert, and for young or old, love works in mysterious ways.
Gathering friends and family doesn’t need to be fancy. With its prime positioning between breakfast and lunch, brunch is a more casual and lighter alternative to the typical dinner party.
When charged with hosting a midday gathering, a little pre-planning can go a long way toward ensuring your brunch get-together is as simple as it is scrumptious.
Get creative with decor. When prepping your tablescape, think outside the box. Opt for unexpected serving dishes such as tartlet tins and vases, and transfer syrups and jams from their everyday containers to glass bowls or creamers. Fresh flowers and produce can add natural pops of color to the table and a bowl of fruit can make for an eye-catching centerpiece.
Plan a variety of dishes. Make sure you have a mix of both sweet and savory dishes on the menu that can please a wide variety of palates. Earmarking some recipes that can be made ahead, like pastries and casseroles, can be a simple way to avoid waking up extra early to prepare. Save the morning of your event for dishes that are best served fresh, like this Herbed Spanish Omelet, which features potatoes; fresh, spring herbs; and red onions, and packs protein, B-vitamins and cancer-protective phytochemicals.
Serve it buffet-style. Setting your spread out on the counter and allowing guests to help themselves not only makes it easier for the host to mingle, but it allows guests to customize their meals as they wish and gives the gathering a more casual vibe. Try themed stations, such as a coffee or mimosa bar, parfait bar or bread bar, in addition to more traditional dishes to let guests take the customization to the next level.
Herbed Spanish Omelet
Reprinted with permission from the American Institute for Cancer Research Servings: 4
1 pound potatoes, peeled and diced or shredded
Water
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 cup diced red onion
2 cloves garlic, minced
4 large whole eggs, lightly beaten
2 egg whites, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh parsley
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh basil
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh chives
Salt, to taste (optional)
Fresh herb sprigs, for garnish (optional)
Place potatoes in large pan. Cover with water. Bring to boil and cook, uncovered, 3 minutes. Remove from heat. Cover and let stand about 10 minutes, or until potatoes are tender. Drain well.
In deep, 10-inch nonstick skillet over medium heat, heat oil. Add onion and garlic. Cook about 8 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add potatoes and cook 5 minutes.
Combine whole eggs and egg whites. Stir in parsley, basil and chives. Season with salt, to taste, if desired. Pour mixture over potatoes in hot skillet. Reduce heat and cook, uncovered, about 10 minutes, or until bottom of omelet is golden.
If desired, brown top under toaster oven. Garnish with fresh herb sprigs, if desired.
Nutritional information per serving: 260 calories; 12 g total fat (2 g saturated fat); 28 g carbohydrates; 11 g protein; 2 g dietary fiber; 106 mg sodium.
FFew things go together like the weekend and brunch. Whether that means gathering with family, friends or a combination of both, it’s the perfect time to slow down and bring your loved ones together for a lighthearted meal.
Catering to a variety of different palates requires a diverse menu of dishes ranging from fresh fruit and baked goods to proteins and more. A key ingredient to bring any spread together: Envy apples, which are a natural cross between Braeburn and Royal Gala apples.
Visit Culinary.net to find more simple summer recipes to share with loved ones. Catering to a variety of different palates requires a diverse menu of dishes ranging from fresh fruit and baked goods to proteins and more. A key ingredient to bring any spread together: Envy apples, which are a natural cross between Braeburn and Royal Gala apples.
With their beautifully balanced sweetness, uplifting fresh aroma, delightfully satisfying crunch and bright red skin that sometimes features a golden blush, they can be served fresh or paired with other brunch favorites in shareable dishes like the Brunch Board with a Twist. Plus, their naturally white flesh doesn’t brown as quickly as other apples, making them easy to savor while enjoying time with loved ones. Find sweet brunch recipe inspiration at EnvyApple.com.
Brunch Board with a Twist
2 Envy Apples, sliced
Boiled eggs, halved
Cooked bacon
Bananas, sliced Berries
Miniature pancakes
Edible flowers, for garnish
2-3 Envy Apples, for garnish
On breakfast platter, artfully arrange sliced apple, halved boiled eggs, bacon, bananas, berries and pancakes. Garnish with edible flowers and whole apples.
PPublisher’s Weekly recently reported that book sales for the first half of the year are down once again, continuing a trend that has accelerated since the pandemic.
As usual, I seem to be out of step. After a few years of joining the Kindle cult, I am back to my old bibliophile ways of buying more books than I will possibly have time to read. I do this not just out of compulsion, but aspiration (and, more practically, for research on various writing assignments). When I go to a great bookstore, which, to me, is like a cathedral, I feel the need to tithe. Some might call me a book hoarder.
I once read that buying books represents the illusion of buying the time needed to read them. That sounds about right. But these personal inclinations usually stem from a personal story. Here is mine. It takes a few turns.
I grew up around books, which is one of the few good things I can say about how I grew up. I remember opening my parents’ dusty hardcover of James Joyce’s “Finnegan’s Wake” and thinking: How do people read this? (OK, so I still think that about “Finnegan’s Wake.”) I remember my mom’s rows of paperback Dorothy Sayers mystery novels. Even then, I could sense the magic contained within two covers, and I carried that sense of magic into adulthood.
In a former life, in another city, I had hundreds of books in the house. They lined shelves, and they sat in unruly stacks. Then, suddenly, that old life ended. My
life partner, Kate, got sick and died. I lost my job, and, to some extent, my mind. I was sort of exiled to another city, Houston, with most of my old Dallas life, including the books, left in storage, where they remain. I started packing lightly and adhering to minimalism. Hence the Kindle, which I had sworn off for years as a not tangible enough reading experience. I fell into a rather spartan existence.
But something happened a few months back. I’m not exactly sure what it was, but I can trace the steps. I made my maiden voyage to Ikea, a story in itself, and I bought a bookcase, which had a strange domesticating effect on what I still think of as my temporary lodging in a friend’s townhouse. I figured I needed to fill that bookcase. And I slowly returned to the pleasure of holding a book, reading a book and, yes, buying a book.
Since my work is to write about books, I have some form of excuse. But there’s more to it than that. I remembered how much I love books as physical objects: their smell, their feel, the sensory reading experience they offer. I like getting them in the mail. I am interminably curious and unrealistically ambitious. It’s a dangerous combination.
I’ll be watching an Elia Kazan movie and suddenly I’ll remember that Richard Schickel wrote an acclaimed biography of the great director, whose legacy was tarnished when he named names during the Hollywood blacklist. I don’t own that biography. One thing leads to another. Again and again.
The books get in the way sometimes. They pile up on the arm of the chair where I sit to watch TV. They take up the space on my ottoman where my feet are supposed to go. The stacks of galleys I receive as a book reviewer have taken over a whole table, organized by publication month.
On the table, at the moment, is the Penguin Classics edition of Dickens’ “Bleak House,” which I’ve always wanted to read. There’s Haynes Johnson’s ’90s postmortem “Divided We Fall,” because I’ve been tinkering with the idea of writing a book about the decade. There’s Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin’s “American Prometheus: The Triumph and Tragedy of J. Robert Oppenheimer,” because the movie is coming out soon and I might write something about it. There’s Mel Watkins’ “On the Real Side: A History of African American Comedy From Slavery to Chris Rock,” because it’s a great overview of one of my favorite subjects.
In buying books, I’m feeding the delusion that I will get to them all. Because, from my cockeyed perspective, it’s the noble thing to do. And perhaps it takes me back to better times. Yes, book sales are down. But I’m once again doing my part to right the ship.
ChRIS VOGNAR IS A FREElANCE CultuRE WRItER hE WAS thE 2009 NIEMAN ARtS AND CultuRE FEllOW At hARVARD uNIVERSItY
“Appliances” is an interesting word with more than one meaning. First we find them in our kitchens, such as refrigerators and stoves. In my childhood kitchen, we only had an electric refrigerator and stove. Our only running water came from the kitchen sink. That was it. However, an electrical fire burned down our home. The next home only had a refrigerator and water from a kitchen pump. The wood burning cook stove didn’t exactly meet the requirements of an “appliance.”
Speaking of home appliances, my mom used a wringer washing machine in the basement. In fact, when I left home at 19, I don’t remember having any other washing machine except the wringer. That appliance saved a lot of time and muscle while washing the clothes. After hot water was poured in the tub, we plugged in the machine and turned on the agitator. It was not automatic, we had to turn it off when we felt the clothes were clean.
Normally we started with white clothes. Often more than one load was washed in the same water before draining the tub and filling it once again. Usually, we had to use a stick of some sort to get the clothes out of the hot water and start them through the wringer.
The wringer consisted of two rollers situated on a moveable arm above the washing tub. The electric driven rollers are about 14 inches in length and 2½ inches in diameter. Evidently the rollers are on springs because we fed the clothes through the rollers to squeeze the water out. It was important to keep your fingers and hands away from the rollers or you would be fed through the rollers. There was another large tub filled with rinse water, then we ran them through the wringer again. Now we were ready to hang clothes on the line outside. If it was brutally cold, we hung them on a line in the basement.
Do you remember when children got hurt and sometimes mom kissed the hurt and magically the hurt disappeared? As we age, wouldn’t we like our broken bodies to be kissed by someone to make them well again? However, injuries and diseases don’t work that way, do they. Due to the advancement of modern medicine and scientific research, we are living not only longer, but healthier and more active as we age. That is such good news.
Gone are the days of accepting pain and illness as punishments and becoming a vegetable at an early age. At age 65 we have Medicare insurance! Yay! What a day for rejoicing! Have you noticed how many 65 to 68-year-olds have surgeries for old parts that have been worn out for many years? They may have been using braces, canes, crutches, walkers, and other such devices (appliances) for locomotion. Sad but true. Many people wait until they are on Medicare. Hopefully, it isn’t too late to regain their abilities once they have been “fixed.”
You’ve seen the advertisement for electric wheelchairs touting, “Not one red cent?” I’m guessing that means you can obtain wheelchairs or scooters for free with Medicare. I just saw an ad saying they have the ‘world’s lightest mobility scooter’ with an old codger holding the scooter above his head. Most people I have seen using a mobility scooter do not look as if they could hold a loaf of bread over their head, much less a scooter. After all, they have infirmities.
I knew a lady who was well into her 80s who owned the ‘perfect lift chair.’ She lived in an apartment connected to her son’s home. This wonderful chair could lift her up when she wanted to stand, recline when she wanted and lay flat to sleep. Sounds good to me. One night she had it in the horizontal position as she often did. Unfortunately, a storm came through and knocked out the power.
When she awakened, nature was calling. The lift chair remote did not work because the power was off. Furthermore, her phone was on the side table but not close enough to reach. She lay there for a few minutes trying to decide what to do. The urge continued. The poor soul tried wiggling her way out, but she had neither the strength nor stamina to get herself up from of the chair. Minutes passed and the need to be relieved was imminent. Eventually she did what any wise lady would do — a small blanket became her rescuer. When her son came to check on her the next morning, he was able to raise her out of the “perfect lift chair.”
In today’s world, there is an appliance to fill about every need and everything in the home or for your health care. So, live well and choose wisely!
