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MATRIMONIALS

SEEKING GROOMS SEEKING BRIDES

Seekinga professionallyqualified match,teetotaller,with a goodfamily background, preferablyAustralian citizen orPR holderforhighlyqualified career-oriented Brahmin girl 35, 5'2", vegetarian,with goodfamilybackground, workingandwellsettled in Sydney. Please contact Aussyd08@gmail.com

Professionallyqualified match required for '88-born 5"3" Hindu Punjabi girl, divorced (short marriage, issueless). Workingfull time in Sydney. Pref teetotaller. Must have Aus PR. Email: matrimonial.ml@gmail.com.

I IranianfilmmakerAbbas Kiarostami I madeClose-Up, abouta crazed 1 cinephilewhopassesoffasthe maestro Mohsen Makhmalbafand

I scamspeoplesayinghewill castthem. I

I InAKVsAKMotwaneusesthegenre I 1 specifics well,to craftanoriginalstory.

Sonam Kapoor'sappearanceis I boostedby anaccompanyingcameo I ofherbrotherHarshVarrdhan Kapoor.

1 Harsh's casting, in fact, isusedby director Motwaneto addcheeky I humour, takingthejokeonhimself.

I Buddingactor Harshisseentelling

I Kashyapatone pointofVikramaditya Motwane'sBhaveshJoshiSuperhero, I whichendedupaflop. Harshwants

I Kashyap,who wasa producerofthat I film,to makea sequel.

Thefunreallyliesinsavouring I thewaythese'real'charactersare I presented,evenasthefictional

Sydney-based 46-year-old, PR holder, down-to-earth,sweet natured, healthy,slim,attractive, cool-minded,welleducated, spiritual, issuelessdivorcee,vegetarian, North lndianKayastha Hindu man, workingin ITcompany, seeksa girlfrom India

/ Fiji/Australia/othercountriesformarriage. Haveawellpayingstablejob. Healthy habits:swimming, non-smoker. Have neverdrunkalcohol in life. Language, nationality,state, caste,food habit (vegornon-veg) no bar. Call 0415063 532.

Seekinga professional matchforHindu-AdDharmijRamdasia, 27-year-old engineer onTRvisa, doingcustomerservicejob in Sydney,with an educatedfamilybackground,family relatives professionallysettled inSydneyand Brisbane. Caste no bar. Pleasecontactwithdetailsand photoat hsruby 2000@yahoo.com/0401324862 suspenseunfolds. Motwane keeps thenarrativesuitablyfast-paced,with SwapnilSonawane'scinematography deliveringtheimpact.

Thecredibletech-specs complement smartscreenwritingthatdrawsfrom personalaspectsofthecelebritiesin question (AnuragKashyap's asthmatic fitsin real life,forinstance,arewoven intothestory), justasfeats and failuresoftheir professionallivesare tossedinto conversationsto render dramatothedialogues.

Good writingis also thereason theactors getto playthefieldas themselves.Theironyisyou never quite know in whichsceneaparticular castmemberisactually 'acting, andin whichthey arejustbeingthemselves. Thatsortofafluidityis Motwane's triumphasafilmmaker.

Vinayak Chakravorty

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I

1 COOLIE NO. 1

1 (Amazon Prime)

I STARRING:Varun Dhawan,SaraAli Khan, Paresh Rawal,JavedJaffrey, I Rajpal Yadav,JohnnyLever,SahilVaid, I ShikhaTalsania,VikasVerma, Manoj 1 Joshi,Anil Dhawan, BharatiAchrekar

45th film of DAVID DHAWA

I I

Well,Varun better stickto doing I a Varun - that'sthe wayhisfans likehim.AndSara doesn'tlookcool I withthe coolie.The gyration gig is

I I simply notfor her,she can give the 1 pelvis some rest. OnDhawansenior, someonetellhim whatyear thisis.

I Init"�lf,thefirst Coolie No. 1 was I nogreat comedy - noteven by David 1 Dhawan'sloony yardstick. Butat leastthe filmhadthe singular asset I thatmade itstand out- Govinda.

I Youshouldn'tgetintosuch ditsy 1 misadventure inthe name of comedy filmmaking unlessyouhave Govinda I tojustifythe chaos.

I The big problem aboutthe 1 recreated Coolie No. 1 is notthatit is utterly brainless (the 1995 original was nointelligententertainment either). Theproblem withthe remake 1 isit failstohold your attention from almostthetime itgetsgoing. Boring I and brainless can be a lethal combo I for a 'comedy'.

1 Owingtoany obviousintent tonarrate anything original,the I castisa one-on-onearray of I substitutes.Soif Varun does a 1 Govinda andSaratakes over the I naach-gaana duty from Karishma Kapoor, Paresh Rawal stepsinto

I I I

DIRECTION:DavidDhawan

1 KAAGAZ (ZeeS)

--I MonalGajjar,Amar Upadhyay,Satish Kaushik I DIRECTION:Satish Kaushik

I ThemeritsofPankajTripathi'snew outing aredwarfedbythe clichesthat I thefilmfailstoresist.Itissomething I thatprevents Kaagazfromlivingupto thepotentialitsstoryline had promised.

I Tripathi,one of Bollywood'smost I incrediblesuccessstoriesinrecent I years,continueswithhisgloriousrun asan actorintheOTT domain,this I timereturningwith astarringrole in I Satish Kaushik'snewdirectorial.Among I thefilm'sadvantagesisalsothefact thattheplotdrawsfromanintriguing I truestory.The factthatwriter-director I Kaushiktriesgivinghistaleof blatant I corruptionasatiricalspin wouldonly I seemtoaddtoitscredence.

NATIONAL EDITION I

The joke's on all ofthem really, realise asthe muddled messplays out. I

Rajpal Yadav doeshis ownversion

Varun Dhawantriestodoa Govinda I of the heroine's mama, whichShakti plays out.

Okay, notall of itis a rehash. Govinda was a coolie wearing a blue shirtata bus terminus.Varun is a coolie ina red shirtata railway station.Some originality, right?!

Screen writer RumiJafry re-hauls thestoryline ofthe 1995 original almostin entirety. David Dhawan callstheshotson a familiar chain ofeventsas attempted slapstick, overdone mimicry, some melodrama andthe mandatory fightscenes unfold.

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

The livid panditpicks up Raju the 1 coolie (Varun Dhawan) from the station, packageshim as a millionaire I and presentshim before Rosario as a loaded, prospective groom. Raju and Sara fallfor each other before you

I I can spell 1-o-v-e, and Rosariohappily marries off his daughtertothe 'super rich' Raju.

Ata convenientpointin the narrative, Rosariodiscovers Raju's reality, sothe guy invents a twin. Almosteverything thatfollowsis a blind repeatofthe 1995 screenplay.

As all of 134 minutesplay out,you wouldfrequently find asking yourself -whywasthisfilm made inthe first case?There is noevidenteffortto cater tocontemporary tastes.

-and a Mithun and a Bachchan and aNanaforgood measure.Sara Ali Khanhitsfranticmode with her pelvic

1 thrusts; she was outtoprove she can be darling ofthe masses,too.David

1 Dhawan comes outof some sortof a I timewarp thinkingthisis 1995.

Sahil Vaid for Harish asthehero's I buddy, and Javed Jaffrey forSadashiv

1 Kapoor playedinthe original. There's I

I Amrapurkar asthematchmaker

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I ----------------------------------� I - ...--- --- -- I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

I Kaagazstartsfailingearlyoninits efforttocreate anemotionaltugover I theprotagonist'splight,owingtoits I sheerlackofstorytellingdepth.

I TripathiplaystheLal Bihari,a bandwallahinavillage.Withworkflow I increasing,Lal Biharidecidestoexpand I hisbusiness,andforthishedecides I tosellaplotof landheowns.Except I I thatwhenhetriesto,herealisesthat conniving relativeshaveusurpedthe landbylegallyprovingheisdead.

I WhenLal Biharitriestosetthings I right,hediscovershemustwageafullonwarwithasystemthatiscorruptto I thecore.Thenarrativethatfollowsis I abouthisindefatigablestrugglethat I lastsforyears,toproveheisalive.

Amusinghow youtendto subconsciously recall Govinda in specificscenesas Varun tries repeating random antics. Thatcan surely be the biggestfailure for a remake.

I I

I I I I I

I Paas Hai, Mujhe Kucch Kehna Haior BadhaaiHo Badhaai). In Kaagaz,likehis I I morerecentreleases GangOfGhosts I or Karzzz, thebreakpointhappens I I muchbeforeinterval.Longbeforethe firsthourisover,thefilmstrugglesto I holdattention.Nosurprises,Kaushik's I turnasLalBihari'slawyerisfarmore I effectivethanhisfilmmaking. Thatissadactually,forthiscould I have beena relevantfilm.

JANUARY 2021 35 I I I I I I

I

January 2021 BY MINAL KHONA

MinaIKhona hasbeen readingtarot cardsfor thelasttwodecades. She uses herintuitionand connectwiththe cardsmostlyto helppeople.

Abalanced monthforArieswithouttoo many upsand downs. But, asa number5, it could lead tosome change or unresolved issues. An ex could returnand it may help youfind closure. Focus your energiescorrectly forfasterresolution ofproblems. Cruisingatworkdespitefrustrations no longer works, sowhenthingsget unbearable,the change youseekwill come.An old health conditioncould recurduetostress. Transformation on allfronts isforetold.

Youmayhavetaken onmorethan you can handlethismonth. Changesare predicted; youareinthemoodtotie up looseendsand startonsomething new.Additional responsibilities could bethrust upon you.Arelationship going nowhere isnotgoingto improve so let itgo. Take it easytoavoid fatigueand exhaustion.Allthis additionalflurryofactivitywill lead toa newlifestyle. Don'taccept less thanwhat youdeserve - inlove or profession.

I Thepractical Capricornappearsfor I youthis month, indicatinga more I realisticapproachto everythingfrom youmercurial Geminis. Youwantto I make moremoneybutthe road seems I blocked. A senseofbeing responsible in yourrelationshipwill leave you content I no matterwhichwaytherelationship I goes.Arockymarriage could end. I Express yourself or youcould end up withthroatand earrelated health I problems. Moneymaybeslowright now I but morewill come.

I You could have experiencesthis month I that leave youfeelingpowerless or confused. Theymayevenchange your I lifeinsomeways. Praiseat work makes I youfeel valued. Drive carefullyasan I accident could occur. Planstoset yourpaperwork in orderwill be I successful. Businessimprovesand I sodoreturns oninvestments.Your legs couldgive youtrouble,take some rest if I it is nota serious condition. Shed your I illusionsabout people youthink are on I your side.

Theten ofswordsindicatesa situation of extremestressand clearing out of dead energy. Ifa relationship hashit rock bottom, it can onlygetbetterfrom here on.Youare ona self-improvement drive inall aspects of your lifethis month.You might evenquit yourjob orgetfired. Dissatisfactionwith your current situation can causestress. Financesare onan upswing.An infatuationcouldalsoend. Don't lose hopeandacceptwhat is.

I Stayonguardagainst officepoliticsand deceitfromsomeoneyoutrust. While you I dohavethemental strengthtofightback,

I A slightlydifficutmonth; youspendasyou earnamidbusinesslosses.Everything

You could be in need of healingthis month, onvariousfronts.Anew romance maybeinthe offingbut itmaynot bethe one youwant.An engagement ora pregnancyinthe family isforetold. Health isgoodthis monthanddespitefinancial constraints youmaygoahead witha businessplan. Itwill helpadd to yourkitty.Atroubled relationship could improve. The more creative yourideas,the higher your chances of success.

I itisa wasteofresources.Plansregarding I thehomedon'tproceed smoothly.A I strokeofgood luckin yourlovelifeor I financesiscoming. Don'ttakeontoo

I problemispossiblethismonth.Trynotto I takeontoomuchthismonth.Stresscan causeachesandpains.Hanginthere, I positivechangesarecoming-thesecould I beduetoa changeinperspectiveorthe entryofsomeoneintoyourlife.

I seemsblocked; controllingyouremotions inadifficultsituationwillbehard.A problematworkwillgetsolvedifyouthink I differently.Surmountingofan emotional muchasit could leadtoillness.Letgoa I little; perfectioncanbe exhausting.Any I disputesatworkwillberesolved.Goslow I witheverythingand haveabalanced perspective.

Atimetoplanthe yearahead and I focusonareasin yourlifethatneed I improving.A promotionatwork or I expansioninbusiness keeps you motivated.Anestrangedfriend or I lovermaytrytowinyouback.Afamily I reconciliation could takeplace. Profits I in business increase.Eat more of highenergyfoods.You might lose out I onsomefunding ora projectbeing I cancelled. Trust yourinstinctswhen it comestoa newidea or offer.

I An excitingstarttothenewyearfor I Capricornastheycould haveintriguing I interactions,a newromance or even travel.In yourpersonal orprofessional I life, expecta dilemma withtwotempting I options;thinkbefore youchoose. A

I Therecouldbenewavenuesopening I up ontheworkfrontYouneeda break from homeandworktorecoup. Thenew I yearbringsapositiveoutlookandthe I qualityofworkimproves. Becareful of I what youeat; youcould end upwithfood poisoning.Moneyowedtoyoustilldoesn't I comethrough.Butitcomesinfrom other I I sourcessoyouwill haveenough.Success whirlwind romancecould comealong. Your careergetsafreshboost oflife.If I a relationship isrocky,anoccurrence

I Thequeenofwandsstandsforthe I zodiacsignofLeosothedreamy I Pisceanscouldfindthemselvesina gregariousand extrovertedframe of I mindthismonth. Theymighteven I meetsomeonewhoisa Leo.A sudden currentsetback isa blessingindisguise. I Moneycomesinthroughvarioussources. I Thereseemsto be noway outforthose trapped ina bad marriage.Aproblem henewyearishere, and the summerof2021 isunderway or isit?Asaninternationalstudent spendingmyfirstsummerin

I getsresolvedduetoa rightdecision you I makeorwiththehelp ofanother.

I comesfrom educationrelatedareas. Solveproblemsbyjustlettingthem be I sometimes.

I couldtakeittothepoint ofnoreturn.If undecidedaboutadilemma,theright I decision will cometo you.

Australiainsteadofrunningoffto Indiato enjoythatextendedvacation,I expected blisteringhotdays I waspro1nisedcool waves,endlessbeachdays,andsitcon1-esque su111n1eradventures. Instead,as1sitdownto writethis,acoldbottleofwaterwithinarm's length,it'scon1etomyattentionthatit'sbeen comparativelytin1idweather.

Sundaeshaveremainedintactuponexiting theicecreamparlourand theoccasionaJ jackethassnuckitswayoutofthecloseton anovercastday.The'bloodyhot' Sydney sumn1erhasn'tquitebareditsteeth.

Growingup in Bangalore, a cityknown forits n1oderatecli1nate and cold beer yearround, I've neverhadtoexperience particularlyhotweather.To me,anything above 22 degrees ishot- and anything above 30degreesis outrightburning. But, I was ready totest n1ymettleagainstthe Aussiesun.

Perhapsaboon ratherthan abane,this year's sun11nerhasstayed an1anageable affair,sparingn1efron1those a1nusing incidentsofchecking1nyseatfor sweat-stains orneedingtoduckintoa conveniencestore to takeshelterin the A/C. (Orair-con, to use thelingoofthe land). As Isoon came torealise, italso offered achance tosalvageunproductive days withtheseeminglynever-ending daylight. Is 8 PM toolateforaworkout? ls 9 PM toolatetorun errands? Surelynot, if youcan makehaywhile thesunshines, in itsmostliteralsense.

Evenasthedustsettlesonthelastlegof AUSvlND111atches, thepleasantweather hasalso111eantarelativelygoodsu1n1ner ofcricket. l'1nhardlythe1nostardent supporter,butit'saterriblemistaketo discounttheelectricstadiumatmosphere. Anyhomesicknessgetswipedawaysittingin thestandswhen,forabrief1noment,theloyal fanstransportustoWankhedeStadium, flags,chantsand all.Thistime,ofcourse, withthewelcomeoptionofamid-gamebeer. Still,themostamusinganecdoteshave con1efromconversationswithfamilyback in IndiaasI complainabouttherarehumid day beforeInotice theirjacketsandshawls, scarfsandhotteas, andremen1berthatwe are,ofcoui-se,inthesouthernhemisphere. Sumn1eractivitiesin Dece1nberandJanuary -itstilltakesasecondtowrapmyhead aroundit! (still#freshofftheboat,guiltyas charged.)

DiscoveringmyversionofOzsummer fashionhasbeenaninterestingaffair.What doesonewearforthoseswelteringhours inthesun? Jeansarebutanabomination, socksareanunwantednuisancebeneathour soles,andduringaheatwave,evenadress feelslikefartoomuchclothing.Thisyear,we havehadclothmaskstoaddtotheequation. Everydayas Ilatheronthesunscreen,l think ofnextseason'spotentialtrend-sporting strategictanlinesacrosshalfourfaces.

ButJcan'trea1lycomplain. Maybeit'sthe lingeringNewYearspirithangover,but 1 find thatit'salmostcomlortingtobe ableto enjoythissummer.Tosavourthedays.After all, frombushfiresandprotests, restrictions andallsortsofdistance,thepastyearwas achallengingone.As thevacations rolled aroundandwewereabletoventureoutdoors (stayingCOYID-safe,ofcourse),italmost feelslikeweweren'tbeinghandedanything wecouldn'thandle. hedayhasfinallyarrived. 1t isthe 1norningof19 Januaryand some well-armedguards aredragging aheftymanoutoftheexpansive White House,evenashekicks andscreams, "Iwantfourmoreyearsonthislease!"A huge crowdgathersoutsideonPennsylvania Avenue,watchingthisscenewithgreat amusement.Afewprotesters(ahem, rioters?)wavehand-n1adeplacards, allthewhilecribbingabouta 'robbed'election.

Will 1 becrackingeggson thepaven1entto seeiftheycookin theheat?Nah. Instead, almostlikeamantraforthe new year,youcan findmelookingoutforn1ore suntanandlesssunburn. (PS: Seriously, don'tforgetthesunscreenthough.)

Inside, the classicblack suitsofthe SecretService canbeseen clearingthe Oval Office. Theyexpect tofind agreatpile of sensitive documents. Instead, they're surprised tounearth an assortment ofunusualitems in the drawers ofthe

• mahogany desk.

Inthe topdraweraregolfballswiththe namesofVIPplayers inscribedonthem, alongwith preciousscorecardsofgames. (Theyallhaveoneleadscorer:Trump.)

In thenextdrawer, thereisa half-empty bottleofdisinfectant,presumablythesame treatmentthathelped dearDonaldrecover fromsuchashortspellofCOYJD.

Besidethat,there'sasaffroncolouredshawl.Youknow,the specialgiftfromtheHowdy TrumpgalawithNaMothat reads'Abkibarr,Trump sarkar'inDevanagari-esque cursive.Peekingoutfrom underneaththeshawl,hiddento theuntrainedeye,isahugepile ofpinkslipsusedtosackWhite Housestaff.Alas,noonefrom theSecretaryofStateto thelunchladywas immune.

LPAYER is a fiy on the wall as Trump exits the White House

Aspecial keyisexchanged betweenthe SecretServiceagents tounlockonelast goodyonthe table:thepersonalcomputer ofthe President,nowpadlockedbyTwitter, Facebookand more. With thegraceful turn ofa key, itfalls to theground,puttingan end toTrump'sreignofmisinformation.

Topreparethe houseforthe next occupant, maintenance menwash the walls,doors,anddoorhandleswithgallons ofsanitizer. Noonehas theheart toshare withpoorTrumpthatit's allimportedfrom - youguessedit - China.Asifcementing the man's nightmare,a newshingle isalso placedatthe maingate: 'J Biden'.

Evenasdozensofremovaltrucks move outwithloadsofdesignerfrocks,shoes and otheraccessories ofMelaniaTrun1p, alone truckpullsupwithdozens ofhot idlisspeciallycookedforKamalabyher chithi(mum'syoungersister) inChennai, speed-postedforherInaugurationDay breakfast.There's alsoa smallpacket often1ple 'prasad'sentbythepeopleof Tulasendrapuram, Kamala'sancestral village. (Butdotheyhearsomeofher pronouncementsarenot that India-friendly, accordingtothosein the know?)

Acrossthe pondat DowningStreet, BoJo isexpectingJoBitokeepupthe traditionof visitingBritainfirstas a markofrespecting Anglo-Americanbond. Meanwhile, infar offBeijing, thesphi11x-likeXi Jinpinghas alreadybegundraftinganinvitation to Joe Bidentovisitthe'ForBidenCity'. NewYear, newbeginnings,perhaps Cartoonists allovertheworld plan an onlinewake onZoom, one lastode to the manwhosecatchphrases andactionswere theirstaple dietforfourlongyears. 1, too, will 1nissTrump, havingwrittenmoreon him than anyoneelse. ButI've learntnotto counthimout, the manwho has 1nastered the artofthe comeback.

Fornow,though,we can allagreeto hopenotforthecomebackof2020.

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