Secrets of the gender pay gap

BY SUNIL GAUTAM

Does Wonder Woman get paid as much as Thor? NURY VITTACHI tries to find out

TWhis columnist, who is also a writer of books, was at a school as a Visiting Author when one of the children asked a question: “How much does Thor get paid?” hen you step out of your country, regardless of your background, it’s quite natural to feel a bit lonely. Yes, there are fellow-Indians all around you. Dabur Amla hair oil is available. Mukesh and Rafi nights are held regularly. But it’s hard to belong to a place unless the locals show a sign of acceptance. Now, this piece is not about the deeper issues of migration so please keep xenophobia out of the picture. Instead, let us look at some expressions in Australia that are used without a care by most people, but have a completely different effect on a FOB desi.

“Good question,” I said. “Superhero salaries are never revealed. However, they seem to do just fine. Definitely they get paid more than authors or teachers!” (Always good to get the academic staff on side.)

Then a teenage girl’s hand shot up. “I bet Thor and Iron Man get paid more than Wonder Woman,” she snarled.

How are you?

“Yeah,” the other girls growled - and so did the teachers. The atmosphere turned to ice. Teaching staff (all female except two) nodded sternly at this timely reminder of evil gender inequality.

insightful! Is my nose still leaking?

than this. My angel was a confident looking man who seemed to have a solution to all my problems. But after pulling me out of a queue at the bank, he started shaking all over and called his supervisor who called his manager and together they decided that I actually belonged back in the queue. After trudged back in line and overheard the same hotshot planning someone else’s ruin with

Now I know that “May I help you” actually means “I promise you nothing but your time of tissues used so that I can give an accurate answer, the questioner was bending to take a closer look at my car as well. warmly. fine, but wait till you hear about my night last night. parking ticket and moved on to enquire about someone else’s health. Another heart-breaker.

“In superhero land, boys and girls get paid exactly the same,” I said, trying to dodge the bullet.

The first time I heard this question, my heart melted and my eyes grew moist. It was my second day in Australia and no one so far had bothered to check how I was feeling about leaving my Sheela Mausi behind. When I heard the question, I took a quick five seconds to prepare my answer: “Well ...”, I began.

Well, I had to stop there, because the lady questioner offered me her hand, which I promptly accepted, until she made it clear that it was money she was after - she was actually the check-out girl at Woollies.

What I was thinking (but didn’t say) was this. Many male superheroes clearly have massive incomes (think Iron Man, Batman, Black Panther, Mr Fantastic, Nighthawk, Professor X, Green Arrow, etc). But Wonder Woman, if memory serves me, was a nurse! Probably earned peanuts!

Here is something that gives the kind of hope reality it’s just another spectator who saw you Unable to pick you up and unwilling to try, he merely asks, “You okay, mate?” That said, he bravely marches on, content in the knowledge that he showed compassion towards a fellow human being. As I stare at my outstretched hand that found no takers, I also contemplate whistling furiously to catch his attention. But answer, they’ll assume you’re doing fine and

Why was everyone in a bad mood about this? The previous month, a news report said that in the creative industries generally, male stars get paid more than female stars. Earlier that week, a study of the BBC showed that women presenters earned significantly less than men.

Here I was, thinking this kind salesperson wants to know all about me, but she seemed more concerned with how I was going to pay for my nostalgia-curing Patak’s curry paste. Worse, she was already handling someone’s tinnea-removing cream!

Sadder than before, I slunk back home and made a hash of the dinner that night.

The internet was filled with outrage at what they saw as horrendous sex discrimination, as were the three women in this columnist’s family.

Now I know that “How are you” actually means “I have asked you a question but don’t bother answering ‘cos I ain’t listening”. I am very well now.

How are you today?

Here’s something else I didn’t say. This writer has spent years in the creative industries (including working for the BBC), and knows full well that financial chiefs of these organisations are heartless automatons who see nothing but bottom

Now this is a little more focussed but equally inspiring question. My first encounter with this one was a bit of deja vu: how does this person know I was sick yesterday? How actually means “I have no interest in your past life and as a matter of fact, not in your current life either”. much concern that I wanted to hug her and say “I will, my dear, you be good too.” lines. They honestly don’t care if you are male, female, transgender, hermaphrodite or a googly-eyed alien from the planet Zorg.

So, I will be fine tomorrow as well.

See you around

To the friend-starved me, this random question was just the assurance I needed. So, I landed at the newsagent’s again the next day. His “How are you today” told me that he certainly remembered yesterday. Giving him a warm “It’s good to be back again, my old friend” smile, I settled down in a corner just like back home to chat the day away. But today he seemed quite different, showing no signs of familiarity.

So while it’s true that discrimination exists, that’s not the whole story.

Academic studies repeatedly show that women at certain stages earn less money by choice, because they have a superior attitude to work-life balance. Guys sign up for every promotion and burn out into early graves, while women make smart compromises and live happier, longer, healthier lives.

“I bought a newspaper yesterday,” I tried to jog his memory.

“So what do you want to buy today?” he

As I turned to express my emotions, I found myself looking straight into her bottom because she was picking up another bouquet for the next customer. I used that as a perfect escape and ran out before she could see a grown man cry into his tulips.

Researchers call this the “self-selected pay gap.” Journalists never write about this because outrage sells more newspapers and gets more clicks.

The gap between male and female pay at the BBC is much smaller than the UK average, indicating the organisation is unusually successful at finding ways to steer money into the hands of female staff.

Now I know that “Take care” actually means “I don’t want you dead, so stay alive and bring your business back to me again some time”.

At first I thought that is a really stupid question. I mean I was obviously walking. Now, I may have a funny walk but no one has the right to watch me walk and still wonder how I am going to the shops.

A friend was less lucky: he faced this question from the customs official at the airport.

“Wonder Woman is a nurse,” he said. I was about to tell him to shut up for his personal safety (female teachers were hovering nearby), when he added something that got me thinking, “She’s an army nurse with the rank of Major.”

Interesting. There is no gender pay gap in the military, and US army Majors earn a fortune, more than $100,000 a year.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “If Manjit comes to pick me up then it’s fine otherwise I’ll take a cab.”

Thor, being a minor Norse god, probably doesn’t get paid anything at all.

Needless to say the officer suddenly found other passengers more interesting.

Can I help you?

After my school talk, I was signing books when I was approached by a nerdy boy who was a fount of knowledge about superheroes.

If words could look like a rescue boat in stormy seas, you can’t find a better sentence

Oh well, Wonder Woman seems like a nice person - she can buy Thor a drink.

Now I know “How’re you going” is not a transport-related question.

In that case, I am going all right.