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SEEKING GROOMS

Seeking a suitable match for a 33-year-old girl, 5’6”, Melbourne based CPA working as a consultant. The boy should be well qualified professional, settled in Australia with a minimum height of 5’9”. Contact n.bhandari085@gmail.com or + 61 433 391 881.

Suitable match for an Australian citizen Hindu girl, highly qualified IT professional. Parents highly educated and well settled in Sydney. Should be well qualified and working professional, Australian citizen or permanent resident. Please respond to rukrghrmn@gmail.com

Looking for a match for professionally qualified, 25-year-old, 5’10”,Sikh girl from Melbourneworking in education. Seeking Sikh groom, well-educated professional, settled in Australia. Contact pklkaur18@ gmail.com

Christian parents looking for Christian groom, fair/wheatish, height 5’8”to 6’, good looking, well settled, IT professional/ banker/engineer for their daughter, 1987 born, fair, 5’4”, working as a psychologist in Sydney. Please contact 0450 513 263 or email bournmum@gmail.com

SEEKING BRIDES

Seeking 25-30-year-old Hindu/Punjabi girl from Australia for our 32-year-old specialist doctor son, 5'9", born and brought up in Sydney. Please respond: gupta_rsr@hotmail. com or ph 0414 282 510 Alliance invited for well educated, divorced, 5' 9", 1975-born Sikh Khatri boy. Working and self-employed, earning 100k per year. Looking for compatible Sikh girl from Australia. Early marriage. Phone: 0422 102 242 or email: ghai07@yahoo.com

Australian Melbourne resident (born South Africa/Hindi) 32-year-old professional, outgoing and well-travelled man seeking Indian or Sri Lankan lady with similar interests for marriage. Please e-mail details with photo to father ranjitha@slingshot.co.nz

Australian citizen, male, professional, working for Government department, owns house in Sydney, huge assets. Seeking suitable match for marriage. Contact sydneyboy293@yahoo. com or 0438 029 833

DEAR

Auntyji

I recently went to the US to visit a cousin, and I was introduced to her daughter and her American husband. Now Peter is white as white can be, he grew up in the Midwest, and he works in IT, but Auntyji, he spoke shuddh Hindi to me. When I made him a cup of tea, he said, shukriya, aapki daya ki koi seema nahi. Auntyji, after I picked myself off the floor, I asked him where he learnt to speak like that. He replied that when he met Nandita five years ago, he made an effort to learn to speak Hindi. And then, when we went to our sister's wedding anniversary, he went around speaking Hindi while everyone just marvelled at him. Now Auntyji, my daughter too is married to a gora, but the only Hindi words he knows are biryani and raita. I wish Mike would learn to speak Hindi like Peter so that all my relatives can be impressed. When I mentioned this to my daughter, she went pffft in my face, as though I had suggested she grow a seeng mathhe par. How can I convince Mike to learn Hindi, Auntyji? Any guidance offered will be gratefully accepted.

Auntyji Says

Look at you, ek gora Hindi kya uguldiya, you are all impressed. So what if he learnt the language and walks around seeking validation from desi log in order to get over the vanilla of his whiteness. He grew up in the Midwest and is in IT – could he possibly get any blander? So Peter realised this, and he probably decided, while he was under the effect of curry fever, that he would become more interesting if he learnt the language and then spouted it like a typical firangi who has nothing interesting about them but their affectations. Well, good for him and his bland self. But the real problem is with you. Why do you find this impressive? You probably speak three languages, do you want people to comment on how well you speak English? Please leave poor Mike be. At least he doesn't try to be something he is not, and he does not seek validation from anyone. Sharam karo, ashikshit behen, that you even thought about changing another human being to make yourself look good. Yet another kalankani you are.

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