ASK AUNTYJI Culture Shock

Dear Auntyji

To say I am livid is an understatement. My husband and I have been married for 17 years and sometimes, with the pressures of work and running a household, things can get stressy. But I try to be nice to my family: I cook them hot meals every day and look after their needs. Anyway, last week, I made aloo bhaigan. Because I always try to look for ways to improve, I asked my husband during dinner, Shamu, what can I do next time to make the aloo bhaigan tastier? And you know what the shaitaan said? He said, how about a dash of compassion and chamach full of kindness? Auntyji, I literally choked on my puri. What a nasty thing to say! I stopped talking to him immediately, and not one word has passed my lips since. Shamu has been trying to apologise, but I don't want to hear anything from him. My feelings are hurt and I want to punish him. My kids tell me that I should move on and not worry about this so much. How not to worry, Auntyji, unhone hamara dil jo tod diya. What to do, Auntyji, pleaseadvise?

Auntyji Says

OMG, you truly are the manifestation of Kaali if you were able to punish your husband by not speaking to him for over a week. See, normally I would say your husband is a badmaash, a zalim, but in this instance, based on your behaviour, I reckon you are the kalankani. So your husband made a flippant comment. Judging by your reaction, there must have been some truth to this, because anyone else would have laughed because it was funny. But clearly you have the bitterness of a karela with how you treat your husband. You like to punish him - and you are doing this now with your zaherila silent treatment. Arrenagin, sambhalja. Do you want your children's future spouses treating them the way you are treating your pati? You should do some reflection. Are you a nice person at home? Do you speak with love in your voice or is everything like poison dripping from your gala? And as for your husband, he is the father of your children. Show him love and affection, because he too has a choice in how he treats you: you’re lucky he is not a jaahil like you.