Where’s my Mr. Darcy?

Bollywood, Disney, and Jane Austen have given myself and most girls I know unrealistic expectations on love and men. It’s a fact. We are still on the lookout for a tall brooding young gentleman of forty thousand pounds a year in want of a wife who flies in on a magic carpet, turns his nose up at me at our first meeting, and thinks dancing is for savages!

If love was really a three hour rollercoaster ride in which I could sing five songs, give long soliloquies about love and life, listen to my hero liken my eyes to the moon, the sun or the stars and cry out distressfully while he fights ten men with his bare hands, I would definitely pick that over reality. Because in reality, love isn’t over in three hours…, in reality, love is just a big, fat, long, agonising wait.

Why don’t films show the long wait women have to endure while a man makes up his mind to call, why don’t they show the extremely stupid things women do and say? And the unresponsive blank stares men have perfected over the ages that both crush and infuriate women? Bridget Jones’s Diary was the only movie “brave” enough to expose the fragile desperation that makes women act immaturely and kiss many a frog before one transforms into their true love.

Films have a long and unrelinquished hold on the female imagination. From slumber parties to girls nights, bonding to break ups – women have always turned to romantic cinema to uplift their spirits and restore their faith in men. But have we ever wondered why these on-screen impeccable actors are called “the man of my dreams” or “McDreamy”? Because that’s exactly what they are! A figment of someone’s imagination!

A carefully constructed personality of all the traits women find endearing, adorable and lovable, secured in attractive packaging. Lucky are the rare women who find a James Dean lookalike with the affable nature of Mr Bingley. And that’s just Hollywood!

When Shah Rukh Khan played a slightly stupid, arrogant young NRI who chases his love back to India and wins over not only her but her whole extended family, who would have thought that the movie would immortalise forever the character of ‘Raj’ as one that all women want to marry and all men want to emulate? Raj – naam to suna hoga? Is now the most widely recognised character in Indian cinema… not to mention the long-lasting fan following the role afforded SRK.

Characters like Raj linger in the hearts of women long after the end credits. His features, his personality and witty dialogue are sought in men we meet in our daily lives. Bollywood is responsible for making me anticipate meeting the guy of my dreams when I board a plane or train. Bollywood is responsible for making me think that a man can be rude and endearing at the same time (in reality they are just plain rude, nothing endearing about arrogance). Bollywood is responsible for making women hope a man can have eyes for no one but us. And this is a myth we develop at a very early age, thanks to Disney and its fairytales.

Disney is responsible for making me think women can make boys into better men. Jasmine changes Aladdin for the better, Pocahontas wooed John into becoming the saviour of her people – so what is stopping women from falling for the ‘bad boys’ and expecting that they will magically transform into men you can proudly present to your parents (be they Sultan or chief).

Jane Austen is responsible for the dreams of millions of women around the world. For making only movie “brave” enough to expose the fragile desperation that makes women act immaturely and kiss many a frog before one transforms into their true love. passionate empathy and a wicked, yet sweet sense of romance. Sigh! Who am I kidding? I love the airy-fairy dreams Bollywood, Disney and Austen have created and sustained over the years. I love the warm, gooey, melting chocolate feeling the endings give me, and I love swooning over the handsome, yet sweet and sensitive heroes. There are real men out there who are warm, funny and loving – the stuff fairy tales are made of. And till one makes his way to me, it’s another Bollywood romance. Bring it on!