Biggest Balle!

It doesn’t matter if the desire for bigger and better somewhat stereotypes the normal Punjabi,

Undeterred by ramping up a huge mortgage, the idea often is to build/ own the most contemporary home, a notch better than the one that our other Punjabi ‘friend’ owns down the street.

BY SANAM SHARMA

Punjabi migrants like me, often referred to as desi’, are a unique breed. ‘Work hard and party harder’ aptly sums up our motto in life. And most of us take pride in the ownership (and display) of top-of-the range possessions, and the bragging rights that come with them. A flash home, a luxurious car, latest gadgets, branded attire, there is nothing modest about us.

If the great Aussie dream is to own a home, the great Punjabi migrant dream is to own a grand palatial mansion. Undeterred by ramping up a huge mortgage, the idea often is to build/ own the most contemporary home, a notch better than the one that our other Punjabi ‘friend’ owns down the street.

Once the house is built, the next feat is to throw out a lavish house-warming. The idea here is to take every guest around our new pad and ensure that we rub in every piece of detail about the joint. Size of the block, the estate or the suburb (and how it is more Toorak-ish than the other person’s), the builder who built it with details of special bargains extracted from him, and the fittings and appliances within, are all poured out to every single guest at the housewarming. The more skilled of us will even occasionally drop in, “We went the extra yard because we did not want our home to be the same like all the other Indians, you see”.

A Punjabi house-warming is a fascinating affair in itself – you have the proud (rather immodest) hosts who had waited a lifetime to unleash their supremacy on their captive audience, and you have the friends or guests who compliment the hosts and smile, while noting down every detail in the house to critique on their drive back home after the party. And in between all of this, there is Scotch with tandoori chicken, samosas with gulab jamun (all being served in the garage), bhangra music (for all kinds of dances), drunk men and sober women, designated drivers to take their drunk hubbies home.

Once the party warms up, the discussions inadvertently turn from house-warming to a raging debate about the political, economic, and social conditions back home in India. The participants range from hard core India bashers, to the loyalists (who have recently found some reason and glory out of the likes of Anna Hazare), and the outright indifferent individuals. Scotch often does not help the cause and decorum of these discussions.

Lately, we have taken our indulgences to the very next level. Any Punjabi get together or house-warming is now a global event as it is floated across Facebook in no time by its attendees, who also proudly tag their coattendees to cheese off the ones who missed out on an invite. And to really rub in the point, a set of photos are posted to validate the fun we are all having at the party. The photos are usually of people saying “Cheers!” while raising ‘pegs’ or making ‘V’ signs, and let’s not forget the stock standard bhangra pose while yelling out, “Bruaaaa!”

Our appetite for luxury and imposing that luxury does not end with a house-warming. Often, the next event is the purchase of a car. The first thing to appear on a desi’s car is a personalized number plate – your own name (that will be me), or the name of your offspring, or for the more creative ones - Punjab, Jatt, desi or even surnames spelt out in clever ways, and occasionally, an abbreviated version of a religious symbol/word.

Once again, the size of a personal loan and the repayments will never refrain us from buying a car that will outshine the one owned by most of the people we know in our community. I was once politely reminded by a close relative at the purchase of my first ever car, which happened to be a second hand Camry, that all Indians buy a Camry. So for the next few days, we make sure we meet up with all our friends as we take them through the list of specifications in the new car, validated against a brochure. And the more skilled of us will also drop in, “This feature is not available in your car you see, as yours is a 2010 model”.

Punjabis are often branded as a fun-loving, loud lot of people and we indeed, enjoy every moment that life offers us. And the best trait as I see is that we are human at our very core – we yearn to be just that one step ahead of others, and we have no qualms in accepting that. We are proud of what we have, and we love to wear it on our sleeves. And if you reckon I have exaggerated anything, feel free to check out my Facebook profile. If you still remain unconvinced, I will be hosting a house warming early next year, so you can be a fly on the wall!

Any Punjabi get together or house-warming is now a global event as it is floated across Facebook in no time by its attendees, who also proudly tag their coattendees to cheese off the ones who missed out on an invite