Perfectly imperfect

BY MADHUCHANDA DAS

OMG…it’s wrap up time already! The end of another year and the brink of another decade’s hurtling towards us at a crazy pace once again. Not fair! It happened even before we could get our act together to act on the previous New Year’s resolutions. Well…I had resolutely resolved to shed my extra baggage, to finally forsake my middle-aged status and give those anorexic gals a run for their money. But here I am…at the same crossroads again with the very same stubborn, sagging baggage for company. Yikes!

And so we thanked heavens for path-breaking technology that airbrushed our images, and also boosted our forever fragile spirits.

Wasn’t it just yesterday that we ushered in the new decade, 2000? Such unprecedented flurry was created over our journey into an unknown territory and an unpredictable decade. We had expected colossal changes to sweep us, changes that would unleash watershed transformations and alter our lives forever. And happen it did! From the busting of the dot com bubble to the social networking marvel, from 9/11 to 26/11, from the global financial crisis to climate change, from the introduction of a single currency for Europe to the introduction of high definition TV, cameras, smart phones and the Wii, from an outsourcing haven called India to an odyssey into space by India’s first woman astronaut, from Black Saturday to a now black-now white Commonwealth Games. Whew! What a rollercoaster ride it’s been. But presumably, isn’t this exactly what life in the present era’s meant to be…. weird ‘n’ whacky, on the edge ‘n’ fluky, impassive ‘n’ techie, hasty ‘n’ (you will hate me for this!) so very greedy. Retrospectively speaking, we outgrew the greed for fancy cars and sprawling mansions to a persistent penchant for self narcissism aka, seeking prominence and perfection. Our swelling heads and self-absorbed lives were being progressively unfolded and dramatized publicly, courtesy our increasing existence in the digital universe. We were compelled, as billion others also were, to upload flashy, flamboyant images of our blemish-free lives onto our online portfolios. Anything below that was sacrilegious. And so we thanked heavens for path-breaking technology that airbrushed our images, and also boosted our forever fragile spirits. After all, our social standing was largely dependent on not what we possessed, but on what we portrayed.

We were marked and measured by other people’s yardsticks rather than our personal prudence. As the reality show progressed to discern whether we had the X factor or not, we ranted and raved to present our best feet and selves. Our best selves could resort to anything from botox to silicone, from age-defying to agedenying, since it was only the outcome that mattered.

The decade progressed and yet another, laugh line, aching joint and grey hair tiptoed into our lives. “You can aspire for precision… but sorry, we’re imperfect!” they all yelled in unwavering unison. And as we persisted to squash them under umpteen layers of make up and makeovers, they rebelled with double determination. Our physical prowess triumphed, but only for a bit. And one fine morning, we found ourselves standing face-to-face with ourselves in front of the mirror.

Hmmm… we’re nearing the end of a defining decade…a turning point that upturned our lives. It was remarkable in the sense that it bestowed us with some gimcrack gizmos and made us believe we could be God….we could attain perfection and beat time and tide. But, alas, our wrinkleridden reflection today speaks otherwise, and belies it all.

Yes…we’re at the crossroads again…..with choices galore. The quick-witted me - I managed to recognize the voice of my calling, to break free from this cycle of vexation.

Wabi Sabi - that’s what it is for me, for now and forever. Something from the annals of ancient wisdom to sustain me if the blitz of the next decade strikes real hard or when my time limousine eventually pulls into the driveway. And if you just happened to wonder what Wabi Sabi stands for, it’s an ancient Japanese concept that recognizes the flaws and impermanence of life. It doesn’t mean settling for anything less than you deserve or that one shouldn’t work to improve one’s situation. It’s about balance and contentment, rather than chasing the unattainable.

And so, at the crossroads, I’m into resolution mode again. But this time, it’s unique. I will endeavour to discover life afresh with all its imperfections and flaws. I will endeavour to spot the crack on the pottery, the blot on the painting as also the freshest wrinkle on my face and the stinging arthritic pain in my knees. I will embrace them all tightly with unflinching warmth and love as they define me. I will navigate through the undulating trek of life with my imperfect self, my imperfect family in an imperfect world. I will refuse to pursue illusions, but will rather celebrate grounded life with all its myriad hues - be it in the form of my girl’s rapturous karaoke singing or the hubby’s thunderous snoring. And as I sign out for this year, here are a couple of lines that I found on the way and would like to share with you:

I will refuse to pursue illusions, but will rather celebrate grounded life with all its myriad hues - be it in the form of my girl’s rapturous karaoke singing or the hubby’s thunderous snoring.

“I wish for you an imperfect life, and all the wonder that living can bring… the wealth that comes from knowing loss, the tears that find their way to laughter, the joy that grows after the rain, and the love, felt deepest, by those who have been carved by pain.

I hope that you can value this imperfection, hold on to it, so it gives you such comfort that you will dare embrace the beauty of all the imperfect lives that surround you.

And then you will be perfectly free to step to the beat of your own imperfect heart, and you will have truly lived.”

Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year!