Deferred Happiness

Happiness can be realised from within, without the necessity of material comforts that bring temporary contentment at a high personal cost

affluence one is able to gain, as well as the prestige in one’s occupation or profession.

BY SAROJA SRINIVASAN

I was intrigued by the phrase ‘deferred happiness’ when I came across it a few years ago. At a time when immediate gratification and the achievement of ‘instant nirvana’ are the main motivating factors for most individuals, who would be deferring their ‘happiness’? After all, the one emotion every one is chasing is ‘happiness’.

Dr. Clive Hamilton, director of the Australia Institute which produced the report that coined the term ‘deferred happiness syndrome’ defines it as “ ..the widespread propensity for people to persist stoically in unhappy and stressful occupations while convincing themselves that they will be in a position to live happily at some time later”. These are the people who may be neglecting their families and to an extent their societal responsibilities while increasing their bank balances. The debts they incur are not in terms of money but reflected in their relationships or lack of relationships altogether. They have high earnings and with that come the material

The kudos that comes from peers and admiration that accompanies it, becomes a sort of blinker that stops one from seeing the true value of such transient things.

Once these blinkers are on they are hard to remove, for the ‘reality’ that presents itself when the blinkers are off is far too threatening. So the blinkers are left on and happiness is deferred to a later date.

So what goads us on to continuing endlessly in less satisfying pursuits? Is it the promise of Utopia, the kingdom of heaven?

What is so powerful that we are willing to suffer enormous frustrations so that we may gain an elusive state of happiness in an uncertain future? Are the visible material gains and comforts enough to make us postpone enjoying the invisible, intangible feeling of happiness which in reality is our true nature? This true nature of bliss or total happiness has been veiled by layers of misconceptions about it. Society no doubt has a part to play, but alas the individual seems to have lost his/her capacity to critically evaluate what is being presented. In an effort to move away from negativity, there is now an endless chase after ‘happiness’ as the ultimate goal. This is based on several assumptions: firstly, that it is a tangible ‘thing’, that there is a definite lack of it at present and that it is ‘out there’ and that we need to make a ‘great amount of effort to reach it’. On the surface it appeals to many people to follow this line of argument. However, there are some fundamental flaws in this argument that need to be addressed. Happiness is an emotion as ethereal as love or sorrow. It is no more tangible by answering a set of questions than it is to describe one’s love for a loved one on a questionnaire. Secondly, that it is somehow always present only in the future begs the question as to how one long one needs to chase after it. Movable goal posts and attaining these as the end to the journey rests on precarious shifting grounds. Thirdly, efforts to reach goals set to achieve happiness become endless, thus keeping it beyond reach. No wonder despondency and desperation set in. The search for happiness now disintegrates into depression and hopelessness.

These are the people who may be neglecting their families and to an extent their societal responsibilities while increasing their bank balances

No, this deferred happiness is not for me. Happiness as our true nature can be experienced as long as we do not make its source external. The cultivation of contentment, a true evaluation of one’s goals and assessment of their relevance to remain happy has to be undertaken periodically to enable us to maintain a sustained state of equanimity which eventually leads us to true happiness. We need no longer defer happiness – it is there for us to enjoy every moment of every day.