Smart, Savvy, Sensible and Successful

Sydney’s breed of single Indian women is a unique genre - upbeat, trendy and ready to face challenges with the conviction to succeed, say

Smart, savvy, sensible and successful. An apt description indeed, of the young women in Sydney’s Indian community. They are so much more than pretty young things – intelligent, confident and with a surprising sense of maturity. Some of them have adopted Sydney as their home, coming here as students and getting entrenched into the Australian way of life, which they feel suits them admirably. Others are Indian-origin Australians who came here as young children and are now an integral part of Australia’s society. But the one thing all these young ladies share in common is that they are all high achievers and have a great balance between their

PRIYANKA RAO and SHERYL DIXIT

professional, social and family lives. They are open, honest and completely in tune with their backgrounds and bellybuttons. What more could the world want? They are the Gen W – feisty, poised and ready for action.

We delved into their lives from different perspectives. The relatively new arrivals talk to PRIYANKA RAO about the experience of discovering Australia and the challenges they face. The ones who’ve lived here have a quirky, yet individual characteristic to their personalities, which they share with SHERYL DIXIT. So let’s take a peek into the lives of these young women, their fundas and their futures.

“I like the crunchy rasp of a kiwi and the juicy relish of a strawberry. It tastes like freedom. I like Lindt, hot chocolate, donuts and cappuccino. It smells like the air in Uni. I love shopping, the glimmer of night life, working out at the gym and making money. It feels like Sydney. On a serious note, I have a lot to do in my life, I have a dream and yes, I am in a relationship too!” This is the common sentiment of Sydney’s single woman, who arrived off a plane from the subcontinent a while ago and is still savouring the city’s myriad offerings.

How do you categorise these single Indian women? Well, they’re the ones you see mostly in trains, on buses and in shopping centres, working late nights and partying with friends and colleagues. They’ve come to Sydney all by themselves and have earned a post-graduate or a Bachelor’s degree; they’ve either already made a mark in this big, bad world or are on their way to do so. A lot of young Indian woman aged between 20 to 24 come to Australia as students, hailing from all over India, from Assam to Tamil Nadu, from Gujarat to Hyderabad. And like their sisterhood who have lived their lives here, they have a common goal: to succeed in whatever they’ve embarked upon. These young ladies are quite well-balanced despite the oddities that keep them on their toes in their journey towards success. The best part about coming to Sydney, according to most of these women, is that one learns a lot when on your own. Life takes an about-turn and you start from scratch at building an identity, career, friends circle, indeed, your whole life!

There’s a lot to experience in this great city from its variety of cuisine, eateries, harbour sides, clubs, temples, hang-out cafes, which represent the city life. Experiencing outdoor fascinations like zoos, theme parks, beaches, sporting arenas and adventure sports is another zesty facet of living in Sydney. “When I first arrived in Sydney, it was all about visiting new places and simply observing what was going on around me. I was thoroughly fascinated by the beautiful beaches, well-planned housing areas, parks and people’s open attitudes,” says Ramya, who came here as an engineering student.

Gradually the fascination phase softens out and the walk into reality seems a bit perturbing for most of them. Working part-time, fulfilling financial obligations, doing assignments, cooking, living in a house full of flat mates who are not easy to gel with and managing time well; it all seems a mishmash of events and is surely a task of immense effort. One look beyond the zealous life of an international student and you know what it is like to come here as a single woman. “You start to realise that 24 hours are not enough. The one thing that comes back to memory all the time is that during my early years of education back in India, my parents were there for me. I think I lose precious time because even now, if I want to do certain things, there is just not enough time!” says Anna, a working professional in the Sydney CBD. For most of them, pursuing hobbies as active interests becomes a task of effort due to time constraints. However, it is slightly different for those who are settled and can spare some time for non-academic interests that make life more meaningful.

Whilst these women have a common goal to succeed in whatever they’ve embarked upon, they are quite wellbalanced despite the oddities that keep them on their toes in their journey towards success

Part-time jobs are plenty; as students, Indian girls work in places like Coles, call centres, Subway restaurant chains, Indian grocery stores and retail stores like Myers etc. They usually share a house or a unit. While some love to decorate their houses with scented candles and lavender lilies, others don’t mind leaving it filthy enough to scare even devils away. “Housemates are great for parties but surely not to stay with,” says Pooja, who had a cramped experience in her one bedroom apartment. But mostly it does take a little time for people to find a good place and settle down. Sharing house is

Continued on page 20

Cocktail creator

She keeps it a secret, because it’s the kind of profession that would raise a few eyebrows within the community. But although N isn’t really concerned about what people think of her, she is very sensitive about her parents. “People will come down on my parents really hard and make life tough for them,” she says. “We have a lot of busybodies who act like the moral police in the community, and for them no job is respectable unless it’s that of a doctor or lawyer!” N is a cocktail waitress, a job she’s been doing for the past year, and one that she admits to really enjoying. “I work at an upmarket bar in the city and we rarely get a rowdy crowd. I earn well and sometimes get a few hefty tips, which is always welcome extra cash,” she says candidly.

N and her family moved to Australia when she was 8, but life wasn’t easy for them. Her father fell ill soon after they arrived and could not work full time. The family struggled and although they lived a good life, there was never any spare cash. “I did well at school and was very keen to go to Uni, but we just didn’t have the money,” says N. She opted instead for a short-term course in restaurant management and landed this job which pays well and is a safer profession than is generally believed. N works four days a week and weekends, which are usually very busy. She has become an expert cocktail mixer and her boss encourages her to try out different combinations. She also does a little routine behind the bar, flipping bottles and making exotic drinks. “It’s not a breeze and as staff, we are very disciplined. I can’t drink on the job nor accept a drink from the patrons, which suits me fine because I’m not a big drinker. So you see, it’s the people who come to the bar who have the most fun,” she says with a smile.

Her parents were initially annoyed at N’s choice of job, but now they realise that it’s not as bad as they imagined. “The staff and management are courteous and friendly, and very protective. I am always dropped home after work, they don’t even let me take a cab,” she reveals. N’s contribution to the family income has made life easier and she’s still applying for scholarships to Uni, to pursue her dream of a degree in Marketing Communications. “My boss has been very helpful and insists that I put away a bit of my salary each month into a term deposit,” she says, admitting that this form of saving wouldn’t have occurred to her if not for his advice.

N enjoys a sedate social life when she’s not working, “simply because I’ve seen it all – from the idiots who drink themselves silly and get into brawls to the ones who lay sprawled in the loo, unable to even get up.” She does have an Aussie boyfriend who is very supportive of her work and ambitions, but she hasn’t had the nerve to tell her parents yet. “I have brought him home and I think they suspect, but they’re waiting for me to say something,” she admits sheepishly. “We are quite serious about each other, but living in an Indian-centric neighbourhood makes me worry about what the neighbours will think… isn’t that stupid?” she says with charming mystification.

N’s feisty attitude and candidness impressed me, and in all honesty, I wouldn’t mind sampling one of her cocktail combos. I’m sure it will be as cheerful, colourful and exotic as her.

Trendy, but traditional

Susmita Bhattacharya is the ideal child any parents could want! Halfway through studying to be an Anaesthetist, this young lady has always been a shining star. With a UAI of 99.95 in Year 12, she was among the top 5% of students to achieve this in New South Wales. And her yen for academics took her to the field of medicine. “I was always of a mathematical/scientific frame of mind, so the decision to pursue medicine came to me quite naturally,” she confides.

Susmita admits that her family is probably slightly more traditional than those of her Indian peers, and this influence to a significant extent, continues to be a part of her life. But certainly not in a way that has been even the least repressive. “My family is traditional, but not conservative. They have been open and accepting of the Australian way of life, and at the same time, have a high sense of tradition and values. It’s a great balance and works well for us,” she says. Susmita is very comfortable with her Indian avatar, and feels no sense of disconnection with her roots. The family observes religious and other Indian festivals and she enjoys being a part of them.

“Celebrating these festivals brings me a better understanding of the Indian culture and tradition, and its something I am proud of,” she says.

Susmita is now a Registrar at a hospital, a training position that is a challenge in itself as she has to work on a roster system which doesn’t leave much time for leisure. But in her spare moments, she still takes time to chill out with friends and family. While maintaining a balance between working and studying, Susmita still sneaks in the occasional movie, dinner or just an evening relaxing with friends.

Commenting on relationships, Susmita feels that as long as both partners have mutual respect for each other’s traditions and cultures, a relationship can blossom. But currently, her focus is on completing her studies and doing well at her job. “Perhaps in time,” says this sensible young woman, “I will find someone of the same background and values with whom I can share my life.”

At the risk of seeming to promote matrimony, I have to say that Susmita could well be any lucky young man’s ideal wife too!

Devotee of Drama

Rimmika Shankar’s first name means ‘musical notes’, but she decidedly admits that she’s not musical. Acting is her forte and her passion, and she dedicates a good bit of her leisure time in pursuit of this activity.

“I have to keep doing something all the time,” says this effervescent 21 year old Uni student, who has studied Bharatnatyam and who participated in the Spring Cycle event, riding her bike over 40 kms through Sydney’s streets. In her final year studying for a Business degree in HR Management, Rimmika’s not sure if the course will signal the end of Uni. “I haven’t decided what to do next, but I may consider a degree in Law, because it interests me,” she says.

Rimmika’s family moved to Australia when she was 11, and signified a slight lull in her otherwise busy life. “In India I was good at academics, acting, debating…I was pretty much an all-rounder,” she says. She was outgoing and popular, but coming to Australia meant a different environment and as readjusting took a while, she became quieter. But not for long. Rimmika soon got back into acting and debating, and even singing in the school choir.

Being at Uni has been a revealing experience for this cheerful young lady. She met lots of people from different backgrounds and has enjoyed interacting with varied cultures which often seem to mirror her own traditional values. She enjoys going to concerts and gigs with her bunch of friends, and her parents haven’t been restrictive in any way probably, she feels, because they trust her.

Rimmika also finds that she’s rediscovering her Indian roots, not just through trips to India but also through her acting. She is a part of a drama group at Uni, and they are currently deeply involved in putting up a play on the life of Swami Chinmayananda, founder of the Chinmaya Mission. “I love acting and getting into the role of the character,” says Rimmika. “Weekends are now spent in rehearsals which are strenuous, but also a lot of fun.”

And what else does she enjoy? Well, shopping of course, but her taste in attire and accessories is certainly unique. Rimmika enjoys buying vintage clothing and trawls around Newtown in search of unusual styles which reflect her personality. She also loves kurtis and their traditional-yet-modern styles.

For Rimmika, life’s a stage with ever-changing backdrops, and it’s unlikely that this ebullient young lady would ever have it any other way. Her cheerful enthusiasm is infectious and after our chat, I felt an inclination to sing in the shower. But I guess I’ll just leave that to the way more talented Rimmika!

Rimmika Shankar

all about discipline and cooperation, which is hard to find unless one discovers a compatible share mate. But there is another side to the ordeal. “You learn to be with each other. Some of the things I learnt when I used to share a room with two other girls was to have fun, to forgive and forget and to handle finances. My room-mate was really pesky about keeping the room clean while I was not. We struck a deal that she would clean and I would cook, which worked out well for the both of us” says Mandira, a Supervisor at a telecommunications company.

Other than the usual aspect of having to think of paying tuition fees, bills and house rentals, safety and transport is also a concern for many students. International students don’t have travel concessions nor do they have scholarship options, unlike some other countries. Financially it’s definitely not a very comfortable situation unless you’ve got a little help coming from back home. Radha, who returns home late due to work timings, related a familiar incident “I got robbed when I was walking home from the station in Strathfield. Two unknown men came towards me, one held me tight and relieved me of my bag. Unfortunately I was carrying $700 cash in my bag that night. I generally avoid carrying money, but that night a friend had returned some cash to me and the incident followed. Well, I would have been broke that month, had my friends not helped me out financially,” she says ruefully. Many say it is important to have a strong circle of friends and some trusted contacts, which is the only cure for torn purses and a broken will in a foreign land.

The transition from the life of a student to a working girl is not always smooth. Hordes of bright and young women find it difficult to get the right job. Many leave out of vexation, and the ones who stay back compromise on their career for financial reasons. The hourly income for most of them is $12 -$20 per hour and depending on that, the average monthly income is approximately $1500 - $2500 per month as a maximum.

Jaya who is an Advertising gold medallist back in India says, “I think jobs in the field of Arts are plenty, but unless you are a permanent resident or a citizen, it is hard to find exactly what you really want to do. I can go back home but I am just staying back for some more time as I have my educational loan to repay.” As a student it is almost impossible to save unless you have a relative or family who can help you settle down in the initial years. But once full time work begins, there is some scope to save. “It depends on the person really; I am not the ‘save money for a rainy day’ sort of a person. Instead, I do send a reasonable chunk of my income back to my family in India, the rest I use for my living and leisure here,” reveals Jaya. There are people who spend money on extensive shopping, styling and on social life and parties, and there are also some others who like to keep a low profile. In saying that it is true that some people feel that living in a blended society like Sydney, one has to be a little social to enjoy life fully. Many feel the need to communicate with the larger community and not just on Indian turf.

The career scene for Indian women has largely changed with immigration to western countries. Many careeroriented women find Australia a paradise for working life. It’s more the case of living life on your own terms, no one to dig at you for not conforming to certain ways. Moving to a different country changes the way a person views the world in many aspects. When you are a struggling single in a new country, it is but natural to find a romantic companion and that’s what happens to many Indian women as well. Indian parents sitting on the other side of globe have little idea of the squabbling involved in day-to-day single

Living la vida loca

“That means living the crazy life – I guess that’s what my life currently is all about!” says S, a feisty young lady with very decided opinions about life. She works for a media/publicity company, and makes no bones that she works, studies and parties hard, and in equal proportions.

S comes from a fairly traditional background, and still lives in an Indian-centric neighbourhood in Sydney, which seemed like a home away from home for the young 6-year-old newly arrived in Australia. She grew up on Indian food; her best friends were Indians, and naturally, the family’s social circle was Indian too. S finished Year 12 with good grades and was thinking about Uni, when a friend’s mum suggested she apply for a part-time job. It was a temporary position, which soon became permanent as her employees liked her.

“I guess I have a flair for PR because I like meeting people and could interact very well with the company’s clients. I am now working on small independent portfolios and learning a lot,” she claims. But with the job came an unexpected challenge, that of social interaction of a wider variety than A had ever known and she found that her presence at client dinners or late-night drinks, were a necessity in the job description.

“The job opened up avenues to a social life I had never even imagined I would ever have,” she says. Predictably her parents weren’t too happy

Dancing Queen

Annie Pathania is a modest young lady. In fact, too modest, as we discovered. After speaking to her, a few hints from community members in the know helped us find out more about this talented and vivacious young lady.

Annie can dance. She admits to loving dancing and has taught herself various routines, some styled on Madhuri Dixit’s raunchy repertoires. She has had no formal training in the art and her hipshaking, tummy-jiggling moves are a blend of Bollywood and Indian fusion.

Annie also takes time out to informally teach people in her friends/family circle how to shake their booty and all else. She has performed at cultural events at Uni and various community events, so it’s no wonder that she enjoys the reputation of being an excellent and talented performer.

Bollywood has and remains an integral part of Annie’s life and has helped her stay connected with the changing culture back home. She enjoys Hindi movies when time permits, but even if it doesn’t, she likes to keep in touch with whatever’s recent. And of course, I’m sure the ever-innovating dance moves are an incentive to watch too.

Annie’s family moved to Australia when she was just a toddler and although her parents are traditional, they are “cool” life here, and many Indian parents detest the idea of live-in relationships. “I found someone here but unfortunately he doesn’t belong to the same caste as I do, and my parents are creating a ruckus over it. They want me to get married to someone they choose,” says Simone, who has been working at Coles for the past three years.

It is a sociological problem in that most parents do not realise that sending their children abroad also means sending them to experience a different culture. Single women living in Sydney develop a mind of their own, just like any other independent person would and their lives change when they come here. It seems a bit paradoxical when the same parents who sent them abroad expect them to behave like adolescents in their care who cannot make their own decisions; but the fact is that they are now in a different country altogether, making their toughest decisions all by themselves. Some girls even choose to change their lifestyles completely in tune with Western culture and have no qualms about having a relationship with an Aussie man, for that matter. While this works out well for them as there is no more confusion as to which culture they belong to or would like to adopt, it creates multiple issues in some families about inter-racial marriages and family ties. While it is important for parents to correct their children when they feel they are going in the right direction, a greater understanding of single life abroad is also with the hours, but they were supportive and realised that she had good prospects in the company.

S has so much fun in her life and at her job, that she finds it fulfilling after her sedate teen years. Her boss encouraged her to do a part-time PR diploma in Uni, so she studies as well. However, S admits that initially, because she never had so much freedom to go out and enjoy herself, she used to drink too much and started smoking. “But after getting wasted a couple of times, I learned my lesson. Now I know how to drink in moderation, and I try to restrict my smoking only to official social events,” she laughs.

S has been to most of Sydney’s trendiest pubs and nightclubs, and she enjoy the lively atmosphere of these hotspots. At 26 she still lives with her parents, but is thinking of moving closer to the city and sharing a unit with a couple of workmates. She hasn’t summoned up the nerve to discuss this with her parents yet, but she feels that they will support her, despite how they feel. “I am enjoying my independence, and I think I can be more responsible and feel less guilty if I’m on my own,” she says.

S is not too keen on marriage, but her parents are beginning to worry as most of her friends of the same age are either married or engaged. But she’s out to experience more of this life and enjoy a career with the knowledge that in a few years she’ll be ready to settle down. “I don’t want to have any regrets about what I couldn’t do. So for me, its live life to its fullest, and good luck for the future,” she concludes too, choosing to trust her completely. This 24-year old marketing professional has a challenging job which keeps her busy through the week, but also helps indulge her creativity. However, she still finds the time to catch up with friends often and weekends are filled with social activities like going to the movies, dinner at trendy restaurants or the group catching up at a friend’s home. “Pubbing and going to nightclubs are not my scene,” admits Annie, “I’m still quite shy, really!” But if there’s one recreation that gets her up and pumping, it’s shopping. Like a lot of her generation, Annie enjoys buying clothes, shoes, make up and accessories, “something that looks nice, suits me and is tasteful,” she says enthusiastically. She also has quite a yen for Indian clothes and keeps in touch with what’s trendy on the Indian fashion scene, which is where Bollywood comes in handy once again. Her shoes are the despair of the family and the envy of her peers, and I certainly feel a tinge too, at the thought of “perhaps 80 pairs…?” required by the parents. “Parental support is very important in leading a single life here, my parents were always there in whatever I did and they always trusted me, which helped me confide in them and get good guidance,” says Mithika, an IT consultant in a telecommunications company.

“I must sound so flighty,” laughs Annie, but I can’t agree. Her honesty is refreshingly charming and above all, genuine. And after all, a dancer can be forgiven for indulging in footwear. So keep those feet flying and toes tapping, young Annie!

“It takes about four years to breathe normally in a new country.” This is one of my favourite lines from my aunt who is settled here since almost 11 years. There are some who miss their family and life back home more than others, and come here only to realise that their first priority was in actuality, an Indian lifestyle. “I still feel living in India was much better for me in terms of living standards. I have been here for four years now and am still unable to match my living standard to what it was in India; but I guess most of it is associated with the rental property market here,” says Shanta, a writer for an Indian magazine. Many of them stick around either for work experience, partner’s preference or financial autonomy. Kamini, a radio presenter, says “There are days when I am utterly confused about what I am doing here with a post graduate degree, not working in only due to financial reasons. Had my family been better off I would have packed my bags long ago.” Many of them look up to someone who has been able to crack the nut, as a source of inspiration and hope. This hope keeps them going in their battle of life and personal goals.

Coming to a foreign country and settling down is a milestone in anybody’s life. But, as a matter of fact, it is not easy to sustain a single life even when one has a tenacious will and support from family. The age-old adage ‘smooth waters do not make skilful sailors’ aptly illuminates life in a foreign country. Marching on one’s way towards a career, maintaining smooth ties with family back home, plus allowing room for reflecting on oneself and still dreaming of a family of one’s own might seem like a task when living on your own. However, when you start enjoying the new place, its culture and take on life as a challenge, these complicated worries fade out to give way to an existence so remarkable that it holds the intensity to change the very definition of life. Kudos to Sydney’s single Indian women!