Vegetarian visions

The travails of travelling vegetarians are as numerous as they are diverse, but there’s hope at the end of the tunnel

BY MALLI IYER

How good are you at negotiating your way through a maze?

Here is an example of a phone conversation between an airline booking agent and a traveller seeking a vegetarian meal.

Traveller: Hello, I am looking to request a vegetarian meal when I travel with you next week to San Francisco – can you help?

Airline agent: I am sure I can, but what sort of vegetarian meal did you have in mind?

T: I don’t eat meat or fish.

A: Does that exclude other animal products such eggs, dairy and milk?

I know several vegetarian friends of mine who pretend that they are Buddhists and get more respectful treatment from these and other East Asian food establishments

T: Milk and dairy items like cheese, ice-cream and yogurt are okay. I could eat eggs if push came to shove.

A: In that case, I shall request a VLML for you, which is called a lacto-ovo vegetarian meal.

T: Hold on a minute, what options are available in vegetarian meals served in-flight?

A: Sir, please pay attention and take notes if necessary – you could order an AVML (Hindu vegetarian meal), VJML (vegetarian meal for Jains), or a VGML (non-dairy products vegetarian meal), or a DBML (a diabetic meal with no sugar or glucose), or a GFML (a gluten-free meal), or a LSML (a lowsodium, salt-free meal). I have other meal choices, but you have to be more specific about your dietary needs. Would you think about it and call me back, please?

Everyone knows or has heard of unpalatable food served on flights, but the confusion created in the minds of customers (and cabin crew) is caused by what is on offer as opposed to individual meal preferences, which vary from one end of the spectrum to the other. While a North Indian might settle easily for a ‘dal-bhath/roti’ routine, a South Indian will yearn for a bowl of ‘thayir saadam’ (yogurt rice) as their minimum need.

Flight kitchens across the world are slowly waking up to this reality because of the continuous bickering of ‘fussy vegetarians’. Well, they better, in view of the rapidly increasing numbers of globetrotters of Indian origin. Our ‘desi’ travellers will be happiest when airline caterers realise that the correct route to their hearts is via their bellies.

You can see that there is an element of truth in the old cliché, “One man’s food is another man’s poison”.

Most readers of this piece will have their own unique horror stories of meals that have been served by airlines and hotels/restaurants, varying from cold, frozen rice pilaf (unthawed, straight from the freezer), small pieces of bone in their dish of gravy, rubbery rotis or naans, bland boiled vegetables or just stray pieces of fruit, as no special meals have been supplied for them.

In addition, they may have experienced extensive delays in service, no offer of pre-dinner drinks or coffee/tea with their meals. Airline cabin staff appear to have low tolerance for any out-of-the-ordinary requests. They are known to thrust the foil wrapped plastic tray under your nose with a ‘Veg Meal’ label stuck on it and rush back to the galley to worry about meals for the remaining majority. Add travel weariness to this equation and we can see that the passenger’s frustration only increases.

Vegetarians undergo a disguised form of social ostracism at conferences and conventions held in prestigious hotels, as by and large, these are catered for a Western, European or Continental audience, and a vegetarian menu is provided (if any) only as an afterthought. It is never as substantial or lavish as those for a meat loving clientele. The same holds true of restaurants and hotel chains who find it