Sleeping with the enemy

APARNA JACOB on her friendship with a person from ‘the other side’ hen I was at UNSW, a new guy showed up in my class during the second semester. He was fair skinned, had curly brown hair and very Persian features. Being a self-proclaimed loner and generally an unhelpful person, I decided to ignore him.

I found him the next day standing in the biscuit aisle at Woollies. It was too late to hide, so I introduced myself and we exchanged phone numbers. He was Pakistani and I was Indian.

Let’s be friends, he said. Imagine what a political statement that would be

I don’t have friends, I said because I had a reputation to maintain.

Okay, enemies then, he said smiling and holding his hand out.

We had a lot in common, we discovered in the first week. We both secretly played Bollywood music on our laptops; we had read the same books; we loved the same food, and when we got homesick, sneaked off to Fox Studios to watch a Bollywood film with Shah Rukh Khan in it.

You do know Bollywood is Indian and not Pakistani, I once commented, aware that I was starting something.

Okay, you can keep your Shah Rukh Khan, you know, he said. We have Salman Rushdie. He’s Pakistani.

What do you mean? He’s Indian, grew up in Bombay.

Australian citizen, Maratian Naidu Catholic, 6ft tall 31 years, born 22-05-78, never married, kind and loving nature. Seeking girl with good moral values, family oriented, kind, caring, honest and educated. Please contact # 0415 440 293.

Alliance invited for Australian citizen, 36 years, 5’10”, divorcee, Hindu male, from well established Sydney-based family. Working as Analyst in Sydney. Seeking good looking and qualified match from Australia or India, preferably Hindu with family values. Caste no bar. E-mail: madhurmilan@y7mail.com

Indian born Australian citizen, 31 years old, 5’5” working as a full time Government employer for the Railcorp in N.S.W non-smoker, non-drinker, never married, seeks bride 23 to 30 years old, with good cultural and family values. Only Muslims please, from any country. Please respond with details and photo to shafi_baig1977@yahoo.com.au

Well-settled Sikh family from Australia seeks beautiful, tall, slim, fair, educated match for their handsome, clean shaven, IT professional son; 29/6’2’’. Caste no bar. Send bio-data and photo to wahroongah@gmail.com

Sister seeks a suitable bride for her handsome Hindu Khatri brother, 28, 6’1” working as Service Manager, Sydney, and studying Masters of Accounting. Please respond with details and photo at

No, he didn’t.

Yes, he did...

No, he didn’t.

Do your research. He’s Indian.

Score India.

And another time he said, You say “really” like a real Indian. Reeaaally?

I am Indian, what’s your point? I said getting angry.

Just saying...

Score Pakistan.

But, he gave me God of Small Things when I told him I’d read it five times but had never owned a copy. Arundhati Roy’s Indian, I said immediately.

I know, he said. You’re always copying her style

At least I’m a better writer than you, I shot back.

People who haven’t read Dostoevsky, cannot claim to be good writers.

We always spoke, argued and fought in English, but sometimes I felt this intense itch to say something nice in Hindi.

Isn’t that strange, I once wondered aloud, that some emotions can only be expressed in a certain language?

If you’re talking about higher emotions, you are better off speaking in Urdu. It’s so much more refined than Hindi. This Bambia Hindi you speak is garbage.

Yes, it was a very tiresome relationship. But it was also fascinating. I wondered what my father would think of my Pakistani boyfriend. My father with his pictures of Indira Gandhi and Rajiv Gandhi on his office wall, next to the Indian flag and the photo of himself in the Indian navy uniform. My father who slept