the Independent
i n dy e a s t e n d . c o m
Rick’s Space
December 6
2017
Angelo Charles Siciliano was a pale, By Rick Murphy thin, picked-on youth. He truly was
position and, keeping your torso as upright as possible, squat down until the tops of your thighs are parallel to the floor or below. Variations include the box squat, front squat, hack squat, Jefferson squat, and the sissy squat.”
the “97-pound weakling” he would later describe himself to be in his advertising. The larger kids in grade school physically abused him.
RICK’S SPACE
by Rick Murphy
Bulking Up I always think of the “97-pound weakling,” an image so visual it still conjures up bullies kicking sand in my face on the beach and taking my bikini-clad girlfriend from me.
Having reached that certain age recently, I decided I needed to take better care of myself so I purchased my first set of weights and embarked on a vigorous workout schedule. It’s not because I need to look manlier -- I took care of that when I was 43 and I finally was able to grow a mustache. It only took a couple months, a tribute to the virile male animal inside of me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to look ripped, wanting to have a six-
pack to display while walking on the beach. Unfortunately, all those years we went to the beach I was carrying a Budweiser. Who knew? Initially, I didn’t understand the meaning of the word “squat.” The only time I hear it is when Kitty Merrill yells at me, “You don’t know squat!” “Squat who?” I wonder to myself.
Now I know squats are “the king of exercises” in lifting circles. Here is the definition according to The Dictionary of Weightlifting, Body Building, and Exercise Terms and Techniques which I consider to be my personal bible: “Squat: put a bar across your shoulders while you are in a standing
Masterpiece Cleaning Keeping homes sparkly-clean for over twenty years. Southampton to Montauk Residential | Commercial | Parties House Openings & Closings
OK, so maybe I started doing sissy squats, but now I’m doing fullfledged squats, sometimes as many as three or even, when I’m feeling frisky, four. Of course, I’m sore for days afterward. Naturally, the simple act of squatting is exercise in itself, so I don’t put any actual weights on the bar. I’ve found a broom works just as well.
All this makes me androgenic, which is “producing or accentuating male sexual characteristics like body hair, deepened voice, and male pattern baldness.” In other words, I can’t hit the high notes of “Walk Like A Man” by the Four Seasons and I have to comb the hair on my chest and back. Small prices to pay for a bod like mine. I recently purchased a couple of dumbbells. Do you know how they got their name? It used to be anyone who worked at a newspaper was a dumbbell . . . no, I made it up. Men would demonstrate their might by lifting up cast iron bells (like the Liberty Bell). A “dumb” bell was one with the clapper removed, so it wouldn’t ring during the lifting. This is just a one of many little tidbits of info we lifters know.
As it turns out, that 97-pound weakling wasn’t the imagination of some Madison Avenue guy. As a boy,
One day, while lying on the beach at Coney Island with his girlfriend, a bully walked up and kicked sand in his face. His girlfriend walked away after the attack and was never seen again. This incident was the catalyst that compelled the young man to search for a way to build up his thin body rapidly in the privacy of his room at home. It is said he observed the great cats at the zoo flexing their muscular bodies against the cage bars, thus keeping themselves strong with the resistance. Angelo developed his own system based on these observations. Oh yes, Angelo also changed his name -- to Charles Atlas. He became a symbol that surpassed mere bodybuilding -- he stood up against the bullies in life and ultimately triumphed through hard work and talent. He died in Long Beach 45 years ago this month. I can’t wait until next summer when I can start picking on weaklings at the beach. Rick Murphy is a six-time winner of the New York Press Association Best Column award as well as the winner of first place awards from the National Newspaper Association and the Suburban Newspaper Association of America and a two-time Pulitzer Prize nominee.
631.488.7180 masterpiececleaning.com
SINCE 1979
Masterpiece E’S CARTING C D O OR Cleaning
F Get 3 One Pound Bags of Coffee for $19.99 Dark Roast • Original • Decaf French Vanilla • Hazelnut 2044 Montauk Highway, Bridgehampton, NY 11932 • 631-537-0542 44
Keeping homes sparkly-clean for over twenty years.
Southampton to Montauk Residential | Commercial Parties | Openings & Closings 631.488.7180 (631) 324-8924 masterpiececleaning.com
.
• Self Load Dumpster Service • Household Cleanouts • Attic • Basement • Garage • Cleanups