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The University of Waterloo Student Newsp

MPRI CDN. Pub. Mail Products Agreement no. 554677

Friday, April 3,1998 - Volume 20, Number 33

Budget cuts?

Happy Birthday! ~

Tuition hike not enough by Owen Imprint

Gregory st&


espite repeatedly hitting students with tuition hikes, the University of Waterloo will require a budget cut of 2.1 per cent to balance next year’s budget. The 10 per cent tuition hike next year will increase the amount of money the University receives in tuition fees to $59.3 million, bring its total income to an estimated $183 million. The IJniversity’s estimated expenditures are $185.8 million, resulting in a $2.8 million shortfall. Though the Ontario government has committed to freezing its expenditure on posc-secondary education next year, the University’s expenditures are csrimated to increase. Salaries, the university’s largest expense, are expected to increase to $128.6 million, up from the $124.5 million spent this year. In addition to this, benefit costs will increase due to higher rates for health insurance, dental insurance and the Canada Pension Plan. The university is required to allocate a share of tuition fee revenues into bursary funds. For this reason, scholarships andother student assistance funds will rise to $5.3 million from this year’s $3.9 million expense. Budgets for nonsalary expenses are being frozen at the current levels. One exception is the library materials fund, which will increase by six per cent. The simplest solution to the budget shortfall, a general budget cut, is an option that the University wants to avoid. At a meeting of the Finance Committee, University President James Downey said that, “Whatever combination of factors it takes” should be tried instead of a general budget cut. Concern was expressed by John Thompson, the Dean of Science, who said, “We’re getting, frankly, to the point where we don’t have a quality institution in many areas.” Thompson

Free across campus

cautioned that the situation would get worse if budgets were cut further. Jim Kalbfleisch, the Vice President Academic and Provost, outlined some the scenarios the university is considering in order to make up the budget shortfall. If more first year students were accepted, extra revenue could be generated: 300additional first year students would provide the university with an extra $1 million in tuition. Another option is to “stretch out the amortization period on the debt.” The early retirement package offered to professors in 1996 resulted in a $6 million debt, currently budgeted to be paid off at $3 million a year. Kalbfleisch said that the University is not interested in an arrangement with a soft drink company similar to the much publicized deal that McMaster University signed with Coca Cola. The deal gives the giant corporation a monopoly on campus in exchange for a cash payment. Kalbfleisch said, “It is really a way to raise money from students.” The alternative committee members responded most positively to was the possibility of reducing the amount the University puts into the pension fund. By law, a pension fund cannot have a surplus of more than 10 per cent of its total value. Despite a SO per cent reduction in premiums introduced last year, the University’s pension fund will almost certainly generate a surplus greater than 10 per cent next time it files a financial report. The growth of the pension plan could be checked by reducing premiums, and have the fortuitous effect of saving the university money+ The university is currently budgeted to contribute $3.9 million co the fund in 199899. If the university could reduce it’s contribution to the pension plan by$2.8 million, the projected budget shortfall could be accounted for.

Imprint celebrates ~ 20th anniversary ’


And the students said, “Let there be Imprint,” and they saw that it was good.

ublication of this issue marks Imprint’s twentieth year on campus. Imprint was born on March 31, 1978, and has been the voice of the University of Waterloo student community ever since. Imprint’s unusual beginings are rooted in &e cdmron’s tumultuous end. The campus newspaper from 1966 to 1976, t&&evron was eventually closed by the Federation of Students, who feared that communists had taken over the newspaper. During a heated, months long battle between the Feds and t,!& c&wron staff, several referrenda were held to determine tlrecdewron’s fate. Two years after the debacle began, students voted ro withdraw financial support from the chevron. Imprint was recognized as UW’s official student newspaper shortly thereafter.

UW salaries increase Recordnumber of pro& getting six figures by Tara Markides special to Imprint


ff‘icial disclosure of University of Waterloo salary information for 1997 was made earlier this week. Under the Public Service SaIary Disclosure Act, all universities, hospitals and government agencies across the province are obligated to issue an annual list of those employees earning more than $100,000 per year. UW has 22,220 full a;d parttime students, as well as 2,250 full-time employees, making it the fourth largest university in Ontario and the biggest source of jobs in the Waterloo Region. It has a total annual operating ex-

penditure of approximately $20 million. In 1995, the total number of staff and faculty earning over $100,000 per year was 54; it dropped to 49 in 1996. This number has almost doubled since that time. This year, an all-time high of 90 UW staff and faculty have hit the $100,000 mark. This includes rhe University President, two Associate Provosts, 83 professors, the University Librarian, one director, St. Jerome’s University President, and one researcher. When asked, Vice-President Jim Kalbfleisch stated that the increase was not actually a big jump. He attributed the almost doubling of the numbers to the

positioning in the range of salaries. Those salaries which were situated at just under $100,000 in 1996 may have gone up slightly over the last year, which would account for their being over $100,000 this year. Given the 10 per cent increase in tuition last year as well as the ones planned for both this year and next year, the money paid in salaries by the University is confusing to students, many ofwhom are faced with growing debt loads and are being forced to find part time jobs. More information on salaries at ‘IJW, including list of the highest paid employees, is available at 1998/mar/31 tuhtml.

In Print Tuition


The return


. . . .3

of socialism+ . + + . . . . .4

It was fun while

it lasted . + . . . .




Misprint. And


out of Lef l



the Totzke



. c . . .8


year in review.

. . . . . . . .ll

. . . . . . . . *. Ml

no music festival,


goes to. + q . + JO


on the skids. . .I 9



. + . + . . + + + .18




3, 1998



Tuition hikes demvstified University big wigs explain budget woes in tuition forum by Debbra McClintock Imprint staff


n Thursday, March 26, the Federation of Students held an open forum in the Student Life Centre Great Hall to discuss the impending issues of tuition hikes and deregulation. Invited to present the institutional concerns were University President James Downey and Vice President Academic and Provost Jim Kalbfleisch. In an attempt to provide the gathering students with insight into the struggles everyone is currently facing, Downey noted that ‘LNew challenges, technology and change.. .has meant considerable stress [on professors],” and that the administrators have also felt hardships as they “respond to challenges of advocacy.” On that note, Downey ensures that progress will be seen in other areas affecting students in the next one to two years. The federal government has been striving to increase research funds and access to professors “on the cutting edge,” both of which our university will “compete well for.” Likewise, the federal government is making developments in the areaof student assistance. The upcoming Canada Opportunities Strategy will be distributing approximately 100,000 scholarships of up to $3,000 each to students across Canada. Canada student loans will also have longer payback periods and lessened remissions, among other improvements. With the progress putting us “almost at the state of support that students needed,” Downey emphasized the decline of operating grants available for the University. While no part of Canada has been given increases in direct support from any Provincial Government, Ontario’s support has been reduced the most, by 15.3 per cent. Fighting to persuade

the Government of Canada to assist the University more in it’s operating costs, Downey noted, “It’s not fair to ask students to pay more withour a commensurate commitment from the Government of Canada. . .that’s the argument they’re fighting for.” Again, Kalbfleisch stressed the lack of provincial support, insisting that the only option, for now, is to raise student tuition. Despite a 25 per cent reduction in aid from the provincial government over the past five years, tuition has increased from $41 to $59 million. Likewise, he notes, the operating budget for the university is $10 million less than it was five years ago and faculty and staff have faced reductions, In an attempt to lessen the impact, incoming frosh will receive a book detailing how to put together a budget, predict living and schooling costs, and where to get funds. There is also a task force currently addressing questions such as: What can we promise to new students about tuition and aid? Is it feasible to set tuition fees by program instead of by year? What criteria should be used in setting differential tuition fees for deregulated programs? One student pointed out that, students in the U.S. are presently getting out of debr sonner than their Canadian counterparts, making UW less attractive than American schools. When asked how the University can justify what the student called almost uncontrolled tuition increases in light of this, Downey pointed out that the quality of the credentials students can take frome Waterloo will not diminish. Caught between reduced public support and increased service demands, the only choice is to raise tuition. Downey continued to defend that there is nothing wrong with the University setting its own tuition fees, as other universities are already doing. “We can be as responsible to our students as the

Schreiter speaksout VP1has “no patienceleft for council” by Natalie Imprint


Gillis staff

ederation of Students Vice-President Internal Kurt Schreiter told Student’s Council this week that he has “absolutely no paitence left for council this year,” and that he would not be attending this Sunday’s last council meeting by way of protest. Schreiter later retracted his statement and decided to attend the meeting. “Not coming to council would be hypocritical,” he said, adding that he hadn’t explained the reasons for his protest clearly enough in the VP1 report.

“This is about conduct within council meetings and the conduct of counsellors and some of the [Federation] executives.” “AS counsellors and executives, we have a moral obligation. . .to stand up for things.” Schreiter also spoke of “finding solutions that will stand the test of time and not just need to be fixed in a year or two.” According to Schreiter, council hasn’t done this effectively over the last year. Many counsellors, he said, “haven’t taken on the full responsibilities of the job.” Schreiter declined further comment, urging students to attend the council meeting this Sunday, April 5, at noon in the

government in setting fees. If you’re going to deregulate, do so completely. Give freedom inscitution by institution, not program by program.” In response to other questions, the President and VicePresident stressed that they embrace tuition hikes only if they occur over time, in order to maintain quality and to ensure that the culture of the school will not be corrupted by the institution setting fees. In fact, President Downey assured, universities would see greater differentiation across institutions, as schools would specialize in their strengths, much like UW already does. He concluded that, “Over time, fees will increase no matter who does it. Unless the government puts more money into operating grants, I’d just as soon see the institutions take control.” When asked if there is any way to find money other than through increases, tuition Kalbfleisch stressed, “I don’t know any other resource that couldcompensate for the$6.5 million. I’ve looked, but there’s nothing.” Noting also that they’ve looked into offering programs not supported by the government, it has been decided that their focus will remain on education and research. “TO offer unrelated businesses would be the wrong thing to do.” In response to concerns regarding the deregulation of the

Co-op program and the impact that will have on fees, Kalbfleisch said he doesn’t know yet which programs will be deregulated. Programs like Accounting, Engineering and Optometry will most likely be, but the fate of programs with no direct business connection, such as Computer Science, is not yet clear. Kalbfleisch guessed that Co-op will not likely

not be deregulated, but the programs will. On a final note regarding the accounrahiliry of the University to its students, Kalbfleisch remarked, “the setting of fees makes the University more directly accountable to students. . .it puts the responsibility squarely on the University. That’s why I don’t object to deregulation.”

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NEWS Imprint


Friday, April 3, 1998

The return of socialism


Taking our Twister board and going home

Federal NDP leader speaks on the new fad by Kieran Imprint

Green sttif

omparing Ontario Premier Mike Harris to Saddam Hussein, Alexa McDonough began her lecture to a packed room. Over 350 people filled St. Jerome’s University’s Siegfried Hall on Friday, March 27, to hear the leader of the federal NDP speak on the future of social democracy. After an introduction by Dr. Terrence Downey of the UW Political Science Department, McDonough launched into a semi-humorous criticism of Ontario’s conservative government. “We are inMike Harris’ Ontario,” she said, and was answered by boos from the audience. McDonough devoted the first part of the 45minute lecture to the history of Canadian socialism and the fortunes and failures of socialist democracy in the past few decades. She blamed former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher for the waning of socialist idealism in the 1980s and ’40s. “Two-tier health care is coming, and education is being eroded,” she stated. Despite the apparent “rise of the right,” McDonough cited a list of recent political developments to prove her assertion that democratic socialism is coming back into style: the socialist government in France, the election of the Labour Party in Britain, the return of the federal NDP to official party status in the last election, and the major gains of the Nova Scotia NDP in the recent election there, McDonough heaped criticism on bond marketeers and multinational corporations. Calling them rhe “enemies” of society, she asserted that they possess greater wealth than many countries, and use their power to determine the social and environmental conditions in those countries. Liberal Finance Minister Paul Martin was also targeted for slashing programs to lower the deficit rather than raising taxes on the weal thy. In the latter part of the lecture, McDonough focused on different strategies for dealing with changing times, and the direction in which North American socialist democrats should be moving. McDonough typified the two popular approaches to change as the “sink or swim” approach versus the “hold the fort” model. Sink or swim, she noted, is the ideal of neo-conservatives, who believe change should be embraced with no questions asked. On the other side, the hold the fort approach seeks to preserve rethe status quo. McDonough jected this model as well. “Any party that thinks we can go back to the way things were is dooming itself to irrelevancy.” McDonough promoted a third approach for North Ameri-



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“Any party that thinks we can go back to the way things were is dooming itself to irrelevancy.” Dhoto bv Kieran Green

can democratic socialism: follow the Europeans. Comparing the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) unfavourably to the European IJnion (EU), she pointed out that, while NAFTA is purely an economic agreement, the EU tackles social and cultural issues. McDonough held up HoIland in particular as a model for Canada to follow. In Holland, she said, all stakeholders -government, employers and unions - decided to work together. The unions agreed to limit wage demands in return for job security and guaranteed working conditions. She also ci ted a conversation with Dutch bank executives, who were appalled to learn that some Canadian bank executives earned salaries 270 times bigger than those of the front-line bank clerks. Three elements of the Dutch model were isolated and promoted by McDonough: commitment to training and work adjustment (the federal employment insurance fund has a $19 billion surplus which could be used), commitment to youth employment, and a balance between employment flexibility and security. After the lecture the floor was opened to questions from the audience. McDonough was questioned on such issues as education, the NDP’s status in Canada, job sharing and the Multilateral Agreement on Investment (MAI). During the reception that followed the questions, Imprint had the opportunity to speak with McDonough. Asked to respond to Harris’ recent comment on the irrelevancy of a liberal arts education, she responded, “That makes people dangerous because they might actually think and actually learn something about what’s going on in the rest of the world. Good heavens, they might make other choices.” Imprintquestioned McDonough on her reaction to the latest federal budget, and she ridiculed the idea that the budget is education-friendly. “The total bill of

goods, any student who is struggling with the average debt load of $25,000 or is contemplating further education, knows what nonsense it is to say that this is an ‘education budget,‘when there is not one new cent for education.” Spec,ific criticism was directed toward the Liberal Millennium Fund. “No student is going to be eligible for anything from the Millennium Fund for at least two more years, and when it kicks in, 93 per cent of students won’t be eligible for a cent from that fund. Not a cent,” she argued. “And so far, the indication is, the maximum dollars which anyone will be eligible for will be $3000. That won’t even begin to make a dent in what students are paying for their education.” . McDonough labeled the Millennium Fund “a public relations exercise,” and stated that it is doomed to fail because it does not meet the needs of students. MacDonough also said that the federal government had “thumbed its nose at provincial governments who are reeling from hits to post-secondary education because of unilateral cuts in transfer payments.” With increasing pressure from the government on universities to seek sponsorship from the private sector, and growing protest against corporate membership on university governing bodies, Imprint asked McDonough what she sees as the best balance in supporting the cost of education, between government, industry, and students. McDonough replied that she believes industryshould support the more of the cost of education by paying more taxes, She also indicated her support for tuition-free edlicarion. “We’ve got 17 of the major industrialized countries that have tuition-free education. Is it less important in Canada to do that? I’m not suggesting rhat you could introduce a tuition-free system overnight, but we’ve got to move in that direction.” .

NiWVSIN BRIEF by Jenny Imprint

Gilbert staff

Profs strike at Dalhousie Picket lines formed on Halifax’s Spring Garden Road on Wednesday morning, as professors and librarians at Dalhousie University went on strike. Dalhousie’s Faculty Association argues that Dalhousie professors are paid far less than their counterparts at Canadian universities of similar size, and want a 13 per cent raise over 32 months. Dal professors currently make an average of about $65,000 per year. The association also wants guarantees that the university will replace faculty members who leave. Dal has lost 113 faculty positions in the last 10 years. The walkout comes with two weeks feft in Dalhousie’s winter term. University management responded to the strike be declaring a lockout and announcing that no faculty members are allowed on university property during the strike. Negotiations started on Tuesday and are expected to continue until a resolution is found.



The Faculty Association of UW has announced that Fred McCourt of the Chemistry Department will head the FAUW for another year. McCourt was acclaimed for re-election when nominations closed in the association’s annual elections. McCourt became president of the Faculty Association a year ago, having previously been the Association’s salary chair. Salary issues continue to be important to the association, even though a two-year agreement reached last summer means there won’t be salary negotiations going on this year. The association also works in areas that range from policy development to academic freedom and tenure, equal rights and pensions and benefits. McCourt is a member of UW’s Senate and Board of Governors, where he often comments on budgets and administrative issues from a faculty point of view. The FAUW”s annual meeting is scheduled for Wednesday, April 8, at 2:30 p.m. in Physics room 145.


salary disputes

Four actors who provide voices for the Fox network series The simpsom are seeking to resolve contract negotiations with News Corporation’s 20fh Century Fox Television, offering to sign for three more seasons in exchange for “further compensation at a later date.” Banding together to negotiate a new contract, the actors initially asked for salary increases to $150,000 per episode, at least five times what most of th e: actors have been making. Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, came to terms se Flarately for about a third of the

asked salary - a deai still worth more than $1 million per year. Meanwhile, holdouts Dan Castellaneta (Homer), Yeardley Smith (Lisa), Hank Azaria (Moe), and Harry Shearer (Montgomery Burns, Smithers) have reportedly indicated that they would be willing to sign new contracts for next season with options for two addi-

tional years,


two children, were attacked by

While preparing to enjoy a barbecue under last Sunday’s unusually warm and sunny skies, 1 I Kitchener residents, in&ding

three men carrying an axe, a pool cue and a steel bar. Two of the three men have been charged by police, while a third assailant is still at large. One of the arrested is under 17 and has been released. The other is an adult now in custody and facing a charge of assault with


provided payments.

Group attacked barbecue



a weapon, police said. The barbecuers were gathered around a picnic table outside a Kitchener apartment complex when they say two of the building’s residents left the premises, returning a half hour later to attack the group of neighbours and friends. Luckily, the assault resulted in only minor injuries for three of the attacked.

Weasel Hunting Made Easy by Peter Lenardon

- Editor

in Chief

Fun while it lasted


or the last 20 years, hundreds of student volunteers at Imprint have provided the university community with informative, funny, and irreverent journalism of varying grades. When I thought about volunteering for Imprint, I was somewhat intimidated, thinking that everyone who writes there must be a serious journalist who would have no time for an amateur like me. Ha ha, ho ho, and hee hee. The veterans then at Imprint were, indeed, serious about their work, but little else. A year later, I’d written dozens of news articles, interviewed cabinet ministers and rock bands, and had my eyes opened. The greatest thing I’ve learned at Imprint was that I could do it. I had been an Imprint reader, but I could also be on the other side, communicating my ideas. One hung-over morning as News Editor, I found myself at a politico-business lunch with Premier Mike Harris and Ericsson Communications. After a couple of soothing gin and tonics, and a tasty salmon steak with hollandaise sauce (complimentary for members of the media), I ended up in a media strum with print, radio, and television reporters and Harris standing right next to me (He actually smelled pretty good, as I remember). I asked a few questions and got some standard answers. Near the end, as most of the reporters were lowering their microphones, I piped up with a question about privatization of Ontario universities. Instantly, Harris started to answer and the press carp perked up. The answer to my question got a whole column in the Globe and Mail the next day. Apparently, it was the first eime Harris had really gone on record about his openness to the privatization of Ontario universities. At the time, I looked around at the professional journalists and thought, “I could do your job.” Friends and family were asking for weeks after whether or not it was me they saw on the news that day, standing next to Harris. My approximately eight seconds on Global made me think about the way we regard public figures in general. I’ve watched politicians being interviewed on television a thousand times, but now I was on the other side of the glass. I looked somehow differenctu myselfwith my suit and tie and tape recorder. People who appear on television or whose names appear in print are in some ways helpless against the consumer’s perceptions of theA. My own low level of celebrity as Editor suddenly made. me a target for any crackpot armed with a word processor. I began to see how bizarre people’s perceptions of me as Editor were, not to mention how inaccurate. First, someone wrote a letter accusing me of self aggrandizement because my column had ‘Editor-in-Chief,’ not ‘Editor’ next to my name. The same writer pointed out our empty masthead and implied that I was going to do the whole paper myself because I was some sort of control freak. The masthead was empty because we had not yet elected our editorial board. I was taken aback the time I got an “Imprint used to be so good, but now it is crap.. .you suck. , *it’s all your fault” letter. I asked a couple of past Imprint editors if they had ever received the same sort of letter, and they said they had. It seems that every year someone decides to take a nonspecific personal shot at the editor. I was also accused of abuse of editorial power because the entire text of a letter to the editor was not printed. Abuse of power. . .I wish! I picture myself the head of a huge media empire, yeaing and naying stories as they come across my desk, manufacturing consent, not reporting on yet another U.S. invasion of a third world nation with strategic potential, advocating legislated anarchy, fomenting apathy, and maintaining the status quo. “Run the Radiohead picture on page one, or you’ll be on the street !” I’d yell. After an unsuccessful run for public office, I would retire to my mansion and do crazy rich-guy things like dancing naked in my Dom Perignon fountain and washing my hands exactly 666 times each lunar cycle. Then the fantasy is over, and I’m back to running pretty much anything students submit., so they can become an active part of the media like I’ve been. Student journalism is about as pure a form of journalism as can exist: a few members of the community writing for the rest, with complete freedom. Anyone can be on the other side of the story. Sure, after over 150 weeks of pizza on Wednesdays, I cannot eat take-out pizza anymore, The smell of cooked pig products, cheese and sweaty card board was an intoxicating aroma for me when I started university, but now I run from it. In my time here, I also learned more about things like the Federation of Students election policies than I ever really wanted to, but all in all, it was a very cool ride. I. thank all the Imprint volunteers who came before me and everyone I ever met while I was here myself. Here’s to the next 20 years.

The forum




of the University

of Waterloo community to present their views on various pieces. The opinions expressed in columns, comment pieces, of the authors, not of Imprint.

through letters to the editor and longer comment and other


are strictly




The University of Waterloo Student Newspaper Friday, April 3, 1998 - Volume 20, Number 33 Student Life Centre, Room 1116, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L Ph: 519-888-4048 - Fax: 519-884-7800 - e-maik www:

Editorial Editor in Chief Assistant Editor Forum Editor News Editor News Assistant Arts Editor Arts Assistant Sports Editor Sports Assistant Human Editor Human Assistant Science Editor Photo Editor Photo Assistant WWW Page Editor WWW Page Assistant Systems Administrator Graphic Editor Proofreaders



Peter Lenardon Kieran


Matt Feldman Natalie Gillis Owen Gregory Jonathan Evans Rachel E. Beattie Greg Picken Mark Besz .s Ali Smith Laurie Bulchak Jessica Kwik Niels Jensen Wendy Vnoucek Justin Kominar Peter Dxnm Graham Dunn Darryl Hodgins James Daouphors Kimberly Ellig Marissa Fread Jenny Gilbert Lisa



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Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Impht is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Imprint is published every Friday during fail and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit, and refuse advertising. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Mail should be addressed to Imprint, Student Life Centre, Room 1116, University of Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G1.


The Besz Dispenser by Mark Besz

The Revolution

of 1998


ell, Bouchard is at it again - what a shock. Recently, he has stated that he won’t hold a referendum until he’s sure that he can win it. Yeah, I think that winning the referendum is kinda important I guess. The unfortunate part of this is that he’s gotta fool the people of Quebec into hating its country so the entire province will side with him. Then he’ll cut the strings and float off into the Atlantic Ocean. However, something tells me that he doesn’t see that if he does ship off, he’ll sink, not swim. It’ll be Tktanlc 2 early. I’m so sick and tired of this debate. I fmd it mildly amusing that in America, this is regarded for treason, which I believe is still an offence punishable by death. Bouchard would be dead right now. But low and behold, the country of Canada is too kind to kill off those who wish to destroy it, so we’ll let some pompus judges decide the matter in a court of law. I suppose that is better than a revolution, but it is not exactly a solution to the problem. What I’d like to know is this -what does it expect to do once it goes? Bouchard cannot expect his newfound “country” to have much backing from other countries, especially ours; most of its revenue is from english-speaking businesses who would leave at the first sign of separation, and the natives are drooling over the territory like they’ve watchedBrm&eafione too many times, repeating “It’s my island,” over and over. Can a new country survive under all that? The States did it, but that was a few centuries ago. This is not something that happens nowadays, except in the, territories once known as Yugoslavia. And they’re doing just fine, So, what is the solution? Well, surprise surprise, I don’t know. But I say we say Quebec is no longer a country, then the exact same second, give it all to” the Native Americans on all the reserves in Canada. They were here first, and they are truly the most distinct society in the country. All’s fair in love and war. And in revolution.


Irreverence by Andrew Krywaniuk

Send me the money!


k, so I can’t count. Having said my farewells, let me resurrect my column for one more week in order to discuss a topic that is currently in the news. A topic that scares me, because it reminds me how powerless I am in the face of state-instituted fairness allocation systems. The topic is gay alimony. Now I’m all for giving equal rights to homosexuals, but I don’t even agree with the concept of alimony for heterosexuals. Child support is another matter-we have this “you made it, so you pay for it” principle. But alimony, it’s just another example of a system that is founded on outdated axioms. As a future rich playboy who intends to go through wives like a hot knife goes through butter, this situation concerns me. You see, while our society has gone to great lengths to eliminate employment and status barriers for women, we have not yet examined the flip side of the coin. Like it or not, alimony as a concept is based on a world where men are the breadwinners and women stay home and make babies. Implicit in this arrangement is the idea that marriage involves compromise and the woman is getting -the short end of the stick (with child-rearing activities hampering her future earning potential and, more cynically, her ability to marry a richer suitor). The reason why alimony is so difficult to enforce is that it is unfair. It used to be the same way with child support payments, before the advent of joint custody. Then someone discovered the problem: divorced men felt bitter about contributing to the upkeep of children with whom they had very little contact.



Friday, April 3, 1998

In these days of Affirmative Action, further reverse discrimination seems cruel and unusual, but it still happens. Consider the engagement ring, which is essentially just a modern form of dowry. But it’s more than that - it represents the biological need for females to receive gifts from males. This is a normal evolutionary phenomenon, and it is apparent in species other than ours, which highlights my point: that despite our notion of the patriarchal society, we have rules for marriage, and, being conceived in the dark ages of human thought, they are very often now biased towards the woman. Marriage is a female victory in the commitment vs. freedom battle of the sexes. But sexual liberation has not brought any solace to the male gender. Even common-law marriages are a just a euphemism for a contract that does not exist. Why we would want to take these crazy rules and apply them to circumstances that have no historic or moral basis is a mystery to me. The standard modern justification for alimony is that it is needed to allow the estranged partner to “continue living in the manner to which he or she has become accustomed.” Should we also begin taxing the poor in order to keep rich people rolling in the wealth to which they have become accustomed?



by Lauren Stephen

ndings are often times of reflection, and this last installment of O&age will be just that. I decided last summer that I wanted to write a gay-issues column. I had ‘come out’ the year before and felt it was not only a strong personal statement, but a strong sociopolitical one as well. I wanted a forum to explore the social and political significance of homosexuality. The first thing I needed was a title for my column. This actually proved very difficult, so I asked for help from several of my friends, who were unfortunately both drunk and straight at the time. Here are the most memorable of their suggestions:’ (Ho)monologtie, Rainbow Cht, R&bow Rage, Goodhy Ydlow BrickRoad, Viperand Cobra (my friend, Chris, bizarrely only suggested names with snake themes). In the end, of course, I went with the rather unimaginative ‘out’ pun. (I later learned OutRage is also thename of a British gay rights organization). After I had the name, I started some preliminary thinking and writing. At first, I had so many ideas, I foolishly thought I would never run out. Fast-forward to 1998, when a typical Tuesday night involved me staring blankly at a blank computer screen, trying to think of something to write about, and drawing a blank. Because I couldn’t expect to be brilliant for eatery article, I set some minimum standards for myself. My goal was to write half of the articles really well, articles that, if 1were to give them letter grades, would receive ‘A’s. The other half would be at least satisfactory, ‘B’-range writing. I’m very proud of several of my articles, but the one I’m most pleased with was my response to a letter to Imprint’s Editor asking me not to compare racism to homophobia because gays have never experienced a Holocaust. It just so happene.d that I was already writing on the experience of gays in The Holocaust that week. I’m least happy with my article on how gay “ghettos” prevent urban decay. An urban planning student wrote to Imprint very rightly pointing out my weak understanding of the subject. Although I wanted to, I never got around to writing about the homoeroticism of team sports and fraternities. As well, I considered writing about racism and lesbian marginalization within the gay community, but felt that as a white male I was probably unqualified to do it. Being a Laurier student, I never received much feedback about OutRage. Anyone who wants to comment on it can reach me via e-mail ( Constructive criticism will be kept confidential; anything blatantly homophobic, however, will be shown to my friends and mercilessly ridiculed.


WPIRC W;UEiiLOO PUBLIC IkiEREiT RESEARCH CROUP Student life G&s Room 2139 Ext. 2578 or 888-4882 evpirghdsenfl, chttp:i/w&srrvl

RecycleCycles- On the RoadAgain


ecycle Cycles is a volunteer-driven community bike project located at 322 King Street East in Kitchener(at Kingand Cedar). Initiated by WPIRG volunteers, Recycle Cycles has been operating in Kitchener-Waterloo since 1993 and has refurbished over 300 bikes, which were donated to the project by community members. The objectives of Recycle Cycles are to raise awareness of cycling issues, promote a healthy, nonpolluting mode of transportation which is affordable to all members of the community, and to keep old bikes out of landfill sites. At the shop, volunteers work on bikes which are then sold, generally for under $40, or given away. The shop also provides the tools for community members to fix their own bikes. This service costs $3 per hour (PIUS parts) or a commitment of one volunteer hour (to work on our bikes) for each hour you spend working on your own bike. Our volunteers are available to answer your bike repair questions and help you w& your bike, but as we are not a bike shop, our volunteers wilt not fix your bike.& you. Recycle Cycles provides an opportunity for all community members to learn about bike repair or pass their knowledge on to others in a friendly atmosphere. We are looking for people interested in volunteering at the shop. And if you’re a bit shy at first, come to the shop to look around, meet people and just get a feel for Recycle Cycles. We don’t require that you turn an old junker into a smoothriding beauty on your first visit! Our current shop hours are on Saturdays and Sundays from 2 p.m. unti1 5 p.m. each day. One thing you should know before coming to the shop is that you will probably leave a whole lot dirtier than you were upon arrival. Bikes are 50 times more energy efficient than even the most efficient car. Cycling is great exercise which lowers your cholesterol level, reduces your blood pressure, and is easier on your joints than jogging. Keep on Cycling! If you have any questions about Recycle Cycles, call Andrea at WPIRG at 8884882.

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Coming out of Lef’ field

t ,-

Local cartoonist Jack Lefcourt is doina it riaht by Natalie Imprint


Gillis staff

mprint has seen a lot of changes in its time. In deed, change has perhaps been the one constant in Imprint’s life. Change, that is, and IWaterloo native Jack Lefcourt. Now a nationally recognized po-1itical cartoonist, Lefcourt has /been a regular contributor for 13 ‘of Imprint’s 20 years. Lefcourt joined Imprint in ! 1985 as a second year Fine Arts &udent. “It wasn’t even my idea,” ;he recalls. “A friend insisted. It .was just a lucky stroke that the 4editor was there and he liked the stuff. But once you get published, you keep going back.” Lefcourt has been coming ‘back for over 13 years, despite having graduated 10 years ago and having become one of only a handful of commercially successful cartoonists in Canada. He is currently N&z M&g&m’s editorial cartoonist. Now, after holding a regular spot on Imprint’s editorial page for over a decade, Lefcourt has decided to move on. “This [leaving Imprint] is something I’ve always thought about, ever since I started making it commercially. , I just finally felt it was time.” Of his reasons for staying with Imprint so long, Lecourt explains that his work has kept him coming through the Student Life Centre. “I keep walking by the Imprint, so I just let it keep happening. “Maybe,” he adds, “ in a way, it was homage to the fact that that was where I started.” After becoming a regular contributor in 1985, Lefcourt’s weekly cartoons in Imprint began to get him outside attention. “One thing that was happening to me in my last year [of university] was, people were calling me up and asking for commissions.” It was then, he explained, that he began thinking about cartooning as a career. Up to that time, “I didn’t know what I wanted to be. I guess it [cartooning] was just an bvious combination of the fact hat I could draw well and I could I ome up with jokes.” Upon graduation, Lefcourt 1 paved backin with his parentsso $re could devote all his resources to his career. Within a year and a half, his fervour paid off. He began to get published “in some pretty big newspapers. So that just kept me going.” Since his career launch, Lefcourt has appeared in over 40 neiirspap+ers’ &t%nwid~~ iricK& l

ing a four year run at the Toronto Star After that, “I just kept expanding, getting out into other provinces. 1 think I’ve been in every province except. . .Newfoundland and P.E.I.” He currently appears regularly in approximately 20 newspapers. Though Lefcourt walks the road of success - and he is only one of roughly 50 Canadian editorial cartoonists to do so - he notes that it hasn’t been easy, “You get way more calls that things never happen from than things actually happening. All the success I’ve had is a mere fleck off the near misses I’ve had. “It isn’t easy. You find yourself getting so fatigued sometimes. It’s really anxiety ridden. There are stretches when you can’t remember how you do this, but you develop mechanisms, crutches.” For example, when he comes up with a good idea that is not time-sensitive, he puts it aside and saves it for &hen he’s feeling less imaginative. In the end, though, Lefcourt can’t afford too much creative drought. “Between eating and paying rent and basically surviving, and doing your work, there is an enormous equals sign. It’s an endless battle; I never let it get the best of me. I always put out four cartoons a week.” If worst comes to worst, he adds, he can always draw a monster. In addition to appearing in numerous newspapers, Lefcourt’s work can be found in more obscure locations. Having done a series of movie advertisements for Princess Cinema owner John Tutt, Lefcourt painted a mural above the theatre’s doors in 1988. “I think it’s kind of cool that he’s still got it up,” he smiles. He goes on, “The L.A. Times had called me. That blew my brains. I had an ongoing thing with the Philadelphia Daily News, who never ended up using me.” “Wanna know the coolest call I ever got? Disney saw a cartoon I did in ‘92 on EuroDisney. They wanted the original to put in their museum.” Lefcourt complied, and a piece of his work now hangs among the ranks of some of the world’s best known drawings. So, what is it about Lefcourt’s style that has made him so successful? *‘It’s comedy-based instead of issues-based,” he ventures. “A lot of political cartoonists try and make a point. I try and make a joke.” He continues that “my drawing style is different enough that it catches people’s “ait‘e$ib;i.“*L&k, he says, has also

played its part. “But also, I’ve just been really, really persistent. I just keep pumping the market.” Lefcourt estimates having sent cartoons to about 500 papers over the years. His persistence has paid off. In addition to appearing regularly in papers across the nation, Lefcourt has been recognized by the National Association of Canadian Editorial Cartoonists, Since 1992, he has been published in Po@olio, the association’s yearly compilation of the best cartoons in Canada. “It was kind of neat, getting their vote of confidence.” Part of Lefcourt’s success is likely due to his ability to see any angle of a story as a potential joke. “This kind of comedy is a form of prostitution,” he laughs. “Wherever I can find a good piece of comedy and a good angle, I’ll just apply it. You don’t have to agree with it.” Asked where he gets his ideas, Lefcourt surveys the room and plucks something - his next cartoon, perhaps? - out of the air. Then he adds, “1 have to read newspapers all the time. I’m not really interested in public affairs, but you just transpose your sense of absurdity onto these stories.” Going back to his childhood, he notes, “My dad was a funny guy; we were always laughing. So comedy is what we grew up with.” Of his personal style, he acknowledges, “I think there’s always something in my graphic sensibilities somewhere along the lines of Dr. Seuss and [British illustrator] Ralph Steadman.” Though he has had considerable success in his field, Lefcourt is not content to simply ride it out. “Right now, I’m on the brink of a huge, colossal change in the way I do things, but I think it’ll totally be for the better.” Though the change is as simple as buying a fax machine, its effects will be profound. First, Lefcourt notes that it will be easier for editors to use his work, since they will receive a hard copy and an electronic copy (by fax modem) at the same time. “You want to make it so that it’s so simple for them to pick your cartoon,” he explains. He hopes this change will increase the number of papers he’s published in, as well as the frequency with which he is published in newspapers that already run his work. “I’ve already got the word from some of my more frequent users that this is the way to go.” In addition, Lefcourt explains that by faxing ail his work, he will <.

Wherever he goes,Jack Lefcourt always has childhood hero Jimmy Rockford to watch over him. photo

have more time freed up to draw. Currently, Thursday is “errand day,” when he travels around town making copies and posting the four cartoons he draws each week. By staying at home one extra day, Lefcourt hopes to tack on a fifth cartoon each week. “I have to hop on the electronic bandwagon. I can’t be mailing stuff out anymore. ” Though his partnership with Imprint has ended, Lefcourt’s career is nowhere near over. Given his devotion to his work and his current level of success, fans can expect to see his cartoons around for years to come. Asked if he would ever consider giving up cartooning, he replies, “Would you ever consider giving up two limbs and an eye? It would be absurd not to be doing this. I’ve gone too far down this road.” He adds that, no matter what, “I’ve put myself on this track, and I have to keep going, wherever it takes me. “I think the longer you’re

by Natalie Gillis

self-employed, the harder it is to imagine anything else. It just becomes who you are.” His ideal situation, he explains, would be “to not have to hope for some gig at a daily paper, but to be so successful asa freelancer.. .I wouldn’t have to answer to anyone.” This wouldn’t stop him from ever working at a daily - an honour offered only to the best-ofthe-best cartoonists. “If I got a job at a daily, I’d stay there for a number of years and build up a reputation and then split, andcarry the reputation with me,” he says. In the end, though, it comes down to one thing: doing what he loves. If there is anything that keeps students going through the years of early-morning classes and late-night assignments we call university, it is the faint glimmer of hope that someday, somehow, we might be able to do the same. “You’11 find something,” he says. “You just have to have eyes open wide enough to see that that’s what you want to do.”


Friday, April 3, 1998


If you build by the members

of Habitat


for Humanity

to Imprint


n February 14, 1998, the University of Waterloo chapter of Habitat for Humanity travelled to Georgia for one week. This wasn’t just a chance to escape the winter blahs, however; while there, members assisted in the building of houses for lower-income families. Along with the on-site construction, we built ties with the local community by visiting a neighbourhood school and having lunch with the children, and painting a large Habitat advertisement on the side of a trailer to increase interest in the cause of helping others in need. Habitat for Humanity is a non-profit, non-governmental, Christian-based organization that transcends any prejudice or bias


to serve a common goal - to eliminate Habitat maintains the poverty housing. motto, ‘A hand up and not a hand out’. In other words, we provide assistance with home construction in working with the future house recipients. The selected families of a Habitat home must pass an application and an interview screening. After being accepted by the organization, the family needs to complete approximately 400 hours of on-site work. Here is a personal account of the trip. Enjoy. “The Collegiate Challenge finally made it back, We almost got sidetracked in Tijuana along the way, but we hadn’t brought enough sunscreen to go that far south. The drive down was long but a stop at a Mexican hideout along the Kentucky line made it all the more bearable.

FEDBack by Raju Pate1 special to Imprint


he year has almost come to an end and I have not left yet, which I believe is a good thing. What I have decided to do is give some kind of commentary on what myself and the exec have done this year and just let the students know how we feel. When I started in May of last year, I had all these ideas and concepts that I wanted to implement, I figured I was now

the VP Admin. and Finance. I learned that respect is given to individuals who have earned it and does not come with a title. In May, we sat down and decided that we had many things to accomplish this year and one of my main goals was to creafe a structure for this organization that will allow it to maintain the level of activity that exists now and will allow it to grow in the future: a task that was very difficult to accomplish. Throughout the year students were questioning what we were doing with all the changes within the organization; in


The beach house was a definite bonus. It even came with a dog named ‘Zeke’, who made some strong connections with some of us. There were almost enough beds for all of us, and those who slept on the floor had to be wary of steamrollers. On Monday, we all had the opportunity to meet Millard Fuller, the founder of Habitat, and some of us received signed copies of his book. We then toured the Habitat offices in Americus, and were quite impressed with the operation as a whole. Tuesday, we really began to get down to work. The construction supervisor was Bert, who was assisted by Rita and Marcie, who were from Americorps. We went from foundation to roof sheeting in four days. Pretty good considering it was the first time many of us had attempted to build a house. At times, the work was rather muddy, and it was a drenching experience for al1 of us. The sun shone down on us as we worked,

and so those of us who didn’t get burned ended up with really nice tans. When it came time to leave, I don’t think that any of us really wanted to go. We tried to sabotage our van by draining the battery, but, unfortunately, that didn’t even work. Once we were on the road home, most of us were already thinking of going back. Some of us were a little more anxious than others, especially through Ohio. Thanks to all those who helped out with the initial fundraising. We really couldn’t have gone on this trip without you. We have shared our vision of eliminatingpoverty housingwith Georgia, and they have shared their ideas with us. There is nothing more special than putting our words and love into action on a trip like this.” Other than collegiate challenges, we also participate in local builds, fundraising, encouraging community interest, and organizing benefit concerts. Please get involved, and help our any way that you can.

particular the closing down of Fed Copy, the Bombshelter management leaving, the General Manager leaving, and changes within the food, bar and programming. We redeived a whole lot of criticism from the staff, students and from the media, but I firmly believe that we did what we had to do. The Feds have not changed the structure of the corporate side of the organization significantly in the past ten years, and we were forced to do something this year. Many nights, I questioned myself about what was going on, but I would always come to the conclusion that I was here for the students and if I didn’t do what I did the Feds would not be here five years from now (for financial reasons: a total loss of $500,000 in three years). At times I sit back and feel that I failed because of the loss

that we projected this year ($40, OOO), but I have come to realize that it was unavoidable when changing an organization of this magnitude. This will probably be the last publication with my name on it so 1 think I will mention my good-byes. I would like to thank all the people that I have met throughout my years here at Waterloo. The 550 Crew; OC 94-98; The Admin.; Catherine, your belief in and your work for students is genuine; all my math friends; my fellow exec (who’s better than us?); the staff at the Feds (Ulmer and Futyer, I was not sleeping on the floor); the Bomber and Fed Hall staff; and Fed Copy for always taking my last-minute orders. But I can’t forget my familv. They are the reason I’m he&. Knock ‘eh dead, Keanin. Peace.




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congratulatesthe following studentsfor winning the University of Waterloo Federationof StudentsLeadership Awards:

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Overall Leadership Jonathan Waterhouse

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Most of the “Did you know...3 of the past have been false. None of these have been true. Except the “Haligonians” thing. That was true. We at imprint Sports are compulsive liars.

And the Totzke goes to... UW recognizes outstanding athletes in touching ceremony


likeme,you really,red’ylikeme!” photo

by Greg Imprint


Picken staff

ast Friday night, the 1997-98 University of Waterloo varsity season came to an end with the 37th Annual Athletics Banquet at Fed Hall. In addition to the feasting, the night also marked the opportunity to recognize the finest athletes that the school has to offer. The Athena rookie of the year was freshman basketball starter Leslie ?vlitchell. The OUA west rookie of the year was the team’s leading three point threat and a starter the entire season, a rarity for rookies at any level. The Warrior rookie of the year award came out in a tie, split between squash standout Sheldon Zimmerman and swimmer Alan Lee. Zimmerman was an OUA second-team all-star, ranked in the OUA top ten for the finals, and was seeded number two on the UW team, all heady achievements for a rook. Lee finished the season in the OUA’s top 15 in three events, swam on several relay teams and provided leadership for the team. Also being recognized for their accomplishments on this night were Kim Moser (J.O. Hemphill Award), Scott McKay (Athletic Therapist Award), Jody Hawley (Directors Award) and the Yates Cup championship football team.

by Mark E5esz

Retiring football coach Dave “Tuffy” Knight was named Imprint Coach of the Year (by yours truly). Knight capped off a ten year run at UW with the fmest season in school history, taking his team through Western to win the Yates Cup and coming within a touchdown of going to the Vanier Cup. More importantly, he has established Waterloo as a national powerhouse. In the running for the Marsden Trophy, Margaret Corey came out ahead of a very talented and honoured field to claim the award as UW’s top female athlete. A twosport athlete in curling and soccer, Corey’s outstanding performance and leadership put her at the top of a field that also included basketballer Jacalyn White, swimmer Val Walker and runner/ soccer player Heat her Moyse. The Totz ke Trophy, named for Carl Totzke, Waterloo’s first athletic director, was presented to Jason Van Geel, marking the latest in a series of honours that have been showered on him this year. Being named the top male athlete comes in addition to winning the President’s Trophy as the CIAU’s outstan‘ding defensive player, gaining all-Canadian status for the third straight season and being ranked as the top Canadian linebacker for the upcoming CFL draft. The night capped off a year of outstanding achievements for UW sports, and set the stage for next year, when there’s a lot of promise for better results.

Oscar Night in Canada ATHLETICSBANQUET


Friday, April 3, 1998


Year in Review, Winter 1998

Fearand Loathing in Halifax Due to space constraints beyond our control, our lighthearted piece about the road to the CIAU finals “Fear and Loathing in Halifax” appears in the Misprint. Again, we’d like to thank Domino’s Pizza for their support in bringing coverage of the UALJ basketball to the fans who so rightly deserve it.







5 19-893-9000

Basketball, yet another sport where we kicked Western’s ass to take the title. What a nice trend. shoto

by Mark Imprint


Besz staff

he second term of sports proved to be just as memorable for Waterloo as the first. WC had many strung teams this term, with many great memories and new standards to be met by all next winter. Warrior Basketball was truly a great moment this term. The men, led by All-Canadian Mano Watsa, fought hard to make it to Halifax, winning the OUA West title from McMaster. However, they lost the Wilson Cup and the CIAU Championships, but that isn’t the point. The pointwas that they made it there, and since the entire team is returning next year, they have a great chance of repeating themselves. Athena Basketball, even with their great plays and fantastic spirit, couldn’t achieve the Ontario finals. There will be a few changes in the line-up, but the future of the team looks promising none the less. We’re looking forward to seeing what they can do for us next year.

Warrior Hockey was another great high of the term. They got to the West Division finals but lost to Windsor. However, this was a feat in itself, since no one really thought much of the team this year. They proved themselves to be key though, ranking tenth in the country in late February/early March. Next year will be a rebuilding year, with most of their key players leaving, but if they can put the lessons learned this term into play next winter, we may see some fantastic skating. Athena Figure Skating also was a major high. Earning first in Open Solo Dance (Ailan McKenzie); second in Intermediate Similar Pairs (Shallen Hollingshead and Gina Cervini) and Senior B Singles (Elizabeth Bauer); third in Intermediate Dance (Laura Vanderheyden and Karen Michaud); and fourth in Senior Single Pairs (Melissa Ens and Wisty Van Snellenberg) and Open Singles (Melissa Ens). Overall, Waterloo placed fourth behind U of T, Guelph and Queen%.

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Waterloo Nordic Skiing held their own in the OU Championships, with the men placing second behind Lakehead, and the women, only two years old, placing a solid fifth. Both teams show good potential for next year. Waterloo Track and Field fought through injury and obstacles and prevailed in the OUA and CIAU Championships. The star of the show was clearly Heather Moyse, racking up an amazingfourAthletesofthe Week for her efforts. Finishing with great times and shattering most of their PBS, they prove to do even better next winter. Both volleyball teams played well, but unfortunately faced stiff competition. In the end, neither team made the playoffs. Next winter we will see more of them, and with the experiences this year, prove to be better than ever. The 1998 winter sports teams truIy made this term one for the history books, setting standards that will be hard to live up to, and I’m sure that if you look at the teams in 1999, you’ll see more of the same memorable action.

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Friday, April 3, 1998


Friday, April 3, 1998



Year in Review

photo index _.I ,_. : . :..:I.. .. . Warrior Hockey _:: . . :..‘. by Ali Smith :,‘I, .I’,,..:::. ..“j’..“’ :“.~.~~,l~hrst* ::..:::. .., ._‘. ... .,..:... _:.:“: . . . ‘: ,.:,: . :. ::? .: ._ ....”:’ ‘.: . . .

,_ -.

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Indoor Soccer Report by Michelle Robinson The Indoor Soccer season ended with great competitive soccer action last Thursday. The finals were low scoring, incredibly tough games (the action could not be beat). Congratulations to all the teams in the Indoor Soccer leagues, and to those teams who finished on top. In the C Division, the semi-finals and finals were played on the same night. The semi-final winners in C Division, Colour Wolf and the Individuals team were slated for the final. Colour Wolf pulled out the victory by defeating the Individuals team in a stunning final game. Congratulations to all the teams in the C Division. The B Division had three finals. The B3 final game was an amazing display of soccer, with Waterlogged defeating REWWD. The B2 final pitted two excellent teams against each other in an outstanding game. In the end, Hex beat The Untouchables for the championship. The Bl Division was decided by a single goal, as the Individuals lost in their game against the Mooseheads. Thanks for the great competition to all of the teams in the B Division. In the toughest Division, the final was the most competitive game of the night. Damn, I’m Smooth and Steava met in the final after earning wins in the semi-finals. Steava was determined to win after a de-

feat in the finals last term, and Damn, I’m Smooth was determined to be the team to deny Steava this championship. After two 20 minute halves, the score remained tied at 3-3. After a brief break, the teams were backon thecourts, playingtwofive-minute periods of overtime soccer. The score remained tied after these periods, and a shootout was required to determine the winner. Steava won the shoot-out with a score of Z1, taking the title that had eluded them last time. Congratulations to all of the teams in the A Division for your amazing play. Campus recreation would like to congratulate David Martin for being the score leader, and Brain Brooks for having the best goals against average, Campus Recreation would also like to thank Cesar for his hard work with the Indoor Soccer league. He worked hard as the convener for the league, and as an official. Cesar was also responsible for keeping track of the scoring leaders and top goalies. Conrad Grebel Women Hockey Championship by Gina Cervini


Last Thursday, March 26, history was made at Columbia Icefields. It was the first championship game in the Campus Ret Women’s Hockey League. The Women’s Hockey League started this term and has been a good place for women hockey players to challenge other women to fun and

exciting games. The final game was between the Conrad Grebel Mennoknights and Ind,ividuals 1. Individuals 1 scored in the second period and it was looking grim for the Mennoknights. With one minute remaining in the final period the Mennoknights pulled their goalie, Trevor Trodd. With 44 seconds left, Joanne Gingerich tied it up. It was amazing, and the large crowd of fans went wild. It was several minutes before things had calmed down enough to continue playing. The final few seconds of the game passed with no more scoring. With the score tied the game had to be decided with penalty shots, The first two players went, and both missed. The secbnd two players went, and Karen Ellis, from the Mennoknights, scored the winning goal. This was the second win in a row for the Mennoknights, after not winning a game since the team founding in the winter of 1996. The Mennoknight coaches Galen Peters and Hank Janzen and all the supportive fans definitely helped the Mennoknights pull together as a team. The other members of the Mennoknights are Lisa Guch, Sarah Marr, Sara Wahl, Aimee Ferron, Serena Laurence, Brigitte Reimer, Sandy Umbach, Leanne Jewitt, Gina Cervini, Tracie Tiessen, Bethany Linkletter, Maggie Nighswander, Kendra Whitfield, and Sue Koch. This was the first time that a Women’s Hockey League was run by Campus Rec.


We hope that it will continue in the future. If you are interested in playing on a team contact Campus Ret and they can help you get on a team. Bail Hockey Finals by Chris Monterroso

The Ball Hockey season came to an exciting conclusion last monday night with final games at every level of play. In the C league, the surprising North E Warriors concluded their spectacular run in the playoffs by avenging regular season loses to thesecond-ranked Hammar Sharks and the first-ranked East A. The Warriors turned on the heat at the right time to capture the C level championship over EAST A by a 6-3 score. The B group was partitioned into four hierarchial brackets to accommodate every team. Bracket B4 was easily taken by the Helmets & Hoses, who cruised through their two playoff games after a first round bye. The Hoses, after finishing the regular season at 1-4, defeated Syde FX B by a score of 7-O to capture the bracket four championship. The B3 championship game pitted together the top two teams from the third bracket. The Hanson Brothers and Black Gold, who each ended the season with unfulfilled 2-3 records, fought a hard game throughout. In the end, the Hanson Brothers sqeaked by with a 4-3 victory to win


Come One! Come All!


This is it, your lastchancethis year to tell us how you think we are doing. The last meeting of the 97-98 student’scouncil will be on Sunday April5th at noon in the SLC multipurpose room.

WANTED - SMS Get Involved, hold any of the following positionsfor Spring and/or Fall terms: Internal Commissioner Publicity Commisionexs Arts Commissioner Clubs Co-Ordinator Multi-Cultural FestivalCo-klinator PhoenixEditor Prov/ National Affiars Commissioners.... and many more! for more info Call Kurt at ext3780, or email Aplication deadlineis May 15th

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Friday, April 3, 1998


Leaders of the Week

: _;

Outstanding Campus Ret Volunteercs Michelle Robinson, recipient of the Hopkins-Kemp Honourary Achievements Award, and Corinne Peden, winner for Outstanding Leadership. photo

bracket three. In bracket two, the fifth-ranked Flying Hellfish faced the third-ranked Toxic Avengers in the unlikely final. The Hellfish continued their strong play in the post season after a 10~1~3-2 record and easily defeated the Avengers by a score of%4 to capture the B2 crown. In the B 1 championship game the Cinderella Tribe, ranked fifth overall in the B level, defeated the fourth and first-ranked teams in the B league before facing the

second team in the finals. The Purple-Headed Warri: ors ended the Cinderella Tribe’s quest for the B league championship, scoring two late goaIs to win 5-3. The final game of the season brought together the top ranked Thrown Together, who scored a whopping 58 goals in the fivegame regular season-11 more than the next best team-against the second best defensive squad in the A league in the Crazy




Pablos, The Pablos’ defence took them to the final, defeating the third and second teams along the way-the latter on the same night as the final. In the end, the offensive Thrown Together powerhouse was too much for the Pablos, who dropped the game by an 8-S score. Congratulations toall the winners and to everyone who had fun this term. Good luck to all of you who are back for more next time around.

Karsten Verbeurgt is a memberoftheOutersClub Bouldering Wall Executive. He has been involved with the Outers Club Executive for an incredible 14 terms. For this long-term involvement, Karsten was one of the first recipients of the Hopkins-Kemp Honorary Achievement Award. He received his award at the Recognition Night in Winter 1997. Karsten has been instrumental in the development of the Bouldering Wall. He has put in countless hours volunteering his time with the Bouldering Wall and the Outers Club. Thank you Karsten for your dedication and commitment to Campus Rec.

Our final Leaderof the Week for this term, Zach Weston, has been a great example for others in the Competitive League program. Zach was the convener for the Ice Hockey program this term. The league ran as smooth as ice, thanks to Zach’s strong work effort and interest in the Ice Hockey program. Zach was on time with all of his duties, resolved all game conflicts, and helped with the sports reports. In addition to his convener duties, Zach also officiated this season, and played Campus Recreation hockey. Thank you Zach for your commitment to the Campus Recreation program.

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No music festival Improvisational noise musicians beat the crap out of you ~ ~

No Music


Amlhz Hdl, London March 26-28


by Peter Lenardon Imprint staff



Youth’s Thurston Mel Imprint

Rfe photo

ast weekend’s No Music Festival in London was a two day celebration of noise. Common musical conventions like melody, song structure and even musical notes were abandoned in favour of maniacal distortion, feedback and unconnected combinations of homemade and traditional instruments. Many in attendance were lured by the prospect of seeing an intimate live set by Sonic Youth guitarist Thurston Moore. Much of the Noise at the festival was comparable to the end of a rock song played live, where all of the musicians make noise before the crashing halt. This is the only way to describe Moore’s Friday night solo guitar performance, undoubtedly one of the highlights of the weekend. First he sat, praying mantis like, on a chair, sliding

and bending and screeching around the neck, coaxing synthesizer like sounds out of his beatup Fender. Swept up in the moment he stood up, inverting his *guitar, touching the end to the ground and generally abusing the equipment. The idea behind free improvisation was summed up most succinctly by guitarist Jojo Hiroshige when he explained his own style as an improvisational expression of moods and ideas. Hiroshige’s guitar work is a barrage of roaring distortion with scratchy high end sliding in the background. One performer, Neural, specialized in playing metal objects like a two slice toaster, a coil spring and a fireplace grate. Neural would hook the object to an amplification board of his own design then touch it in various ways with metal rods and chains, creating a mesmerizing hardcore industrial instrumental sound. Guitarist Alan Licht of the experimental rock band Run On made a surprise appearance on

Saturday playing a haunting and curiously melodic song on his guitar with the handle of a screwdriver. The weekend was hosted by a London group The Nihilist Spasm Band. The Spasms have been together playing unstructured noise with traditional rock instruments for twenty years. It seems at times that aSpasms song is just a five man cacophonic jam, but as with theother bands something tenable emerges. Many of the “songs” during the concerts and the late Interplay jam session held after started somewhat abruptly, going from silence to tortured electronic noise in an instant. Most of it is a difficult listen. It took a fair amount of attention to stay with the musicians, but soon I found myself tapping my feet and bobbing my head to a latent beat implied somehow by the noise. The real joy of the No Music Festival was listening to eight hours of ultimately incoherent noise over the weekend, and laughingwhenyou realize you enjoyed every minute.

Dangerous curves ahead - Curve perform well despite drummer’s arrest Curve Lids Pk Thursday, by Graham and Klaus Imprint




Dunn Steden staff

anted: One drummer. Please return to Curve.

“Sorry this is a bit rough; we lost our drummer on the plane...” After being subjected to one Freaky Chakra, a not-bad-DJ-tolisten-to-when-you’re-stonedbut-it-gets-a-bit-nauseating-after-twenty-minutes-at-a-concert sort of thing, most of the crowd was willing and ready to enjoy Curve. This their first North American stop on a mini-tour to prepare for a larger one later this summer. The show was noticeably rough around the edges for the first threequarters. Toni Halliday apologised, mentioning, “We lost our drummer on the plane.” Steve Spring, who was originally slated to play on Curve’s North American tour, was met in the airport by FBI and police after having to be

put in handcuffs during the flight, reportedly “drunk and belligerent .. . issuing demands for cigarettes and alcohol.” It’s a rockand roll lifestyle, Steve; don’t quit your day job. After being sentenced to a fine and a lifetime ban from United Airways, Spring was on a plane back to England, leaving the group without a drummer, They managed to snag Monti (their old drummer) all the way from England a day before the tour was scheduled to start. The group managed to get its sound together for the last 20 minutes of theshow, which were stellar. Curve played predominantly new material from ‘Come Clean’, their latest, but managed to round out the show with some older material like ‘Fait Accompli’ and ‘Die like a Dog’, enough to keep those unfamiliar with the new album happy. There were a few disappointments, despite the solid set. Some of the lushness and depth that is the Curve sound was lost-there are no 18 track guitar overdubs when you’re live. As mentioned earlier, this was also only a “pre-

Look mommy,

it’s an

angel! photo

tour” and the set, any

tour to tease and get us hot bothered in anticipation for “real” tour - so, no two hour no double encore, not even merchandise. The smaller

venue had its advantages though; Lee’s Palace is one of the better concert venues in Toronto and Curve took full advantage of the intimacy to blast the crowd with

by Graham


its trademark bombastic miasma. With a little more polish, and a few shirts to keep the materialistic happy, Curve looks ready 10 come up roses in summer 1998.



Friday, April 3, 1998


.Bomber Battle of the

Bands ‘98 Battle

of the Bands l-heBuddtm March

26, 1998

by Lucy Morales special to Imprint


he annual Rattle of the Bands,sponsored, judged, and organized by the Federation of Students’ Board

The Worm, who opened the show quietly in contrast to the larger, louder acts to follow, went home with third prize. Following his solo act was Tin Man, a yuintet that displayed a variety of styles and originality to spare. Astrokick (recent winners of the YTV Achievement Awards) had the advantage of their lead singer’s lovely voice, the only female vo-

Dynamo’s Scott Collins (drums), Bob Patrick (bass/vocals),and Jonathan Evans (guitar/vocals) give the Bomber crowd a badly needed boot to the head. photo

of Entertainment (BEnt), was held at The Bombshelter last Thursday, March 26. A night of’ free local entertainment, Battle of the Bands showcased an assortment of on-campus talent. The eight bands that braved the stage of the Bomber ranged in styte from a solo acoustic act known as The Worm, to the energetic punk band Racer, that captured first prize and a coveted gig at this year’s Sounds of Summer show.

by Uwen


to participate in the Battle of the Bands. Astrokick’s music was groovy, and somewhat Portishead-inspired. Sometimes Fluid followed with Tragically Hip and Dishwalla covers, capping things off with a rendition of “I Want to Rock & Roll All Night” accompanied by some audience participation. Racer, the night’s big winner, picked up the pace with some screaming, and yes, fast, punk rock. The lead singer had enough calist

energy for the whole band and then some; Racer held the audience’s attention with a tight, thrashing set. Next, Dynamo, a powerful trio, rocked out, Dynamo left their inhibitions at home; they were obviously there to have a good time. Their original sang, “Shitkicker”, was a crowd-pleaser, prompting some rawk n’ roll fans to fling their constraining undergarments on-stage, where they adorned the lead singer for the remainder of the show. The band also kicked out an impossibly fast version of Metallica’s “Battery” before technical difficulties (the drum set fell apart) ended their set. Although Dynamo garnered the best crowd response of the evening, and were clearly the most original band to be heard, they were strangley left out of the prize circle. The (unofficial) award for Use of a Saxophone by a University Band goes to 200 Proof, whose lead singer brought the instrument into several songs, setting them apart from the other performances. The final band of the five hour show was Poly, who delivered professional, polished songs reminiscent ofcanadian favourites Moist, and was awarded second prize. The Bombshelteronce again provided a comfortable venue for patrons, friends, and fans of the participating bands to drink, chat, and take in a varied display of musical talent. Kudos to UW students for continuing to make Battle of the Bands an unexpected surprise. See you, and plenty of fresh, eager talent next year.

American culture on the skids

The Decline of the American Family and For Whom the Southern Belle Tolls April

1 - April

by Rachel E, Beattie Kimberly El& Imprint staff


4 and

here has been a lot of talk about declining family values in the media lately. Judging by the two short plays presented by UW Drama, the media is right. The Dechne of the Ammhm FmmYy is a collection of scenes about some very strange families. One family which consists of an alcoholic father and a mother on the verge ofa nervous breakdown, who fight constantly over the pet names they call their baby (whosegender they have refused to ac-

knowledge), and another family features a blind Vietnam vet who is mostly ignored by his family. The scenes go from hilarious to just plain bizarre. The humour is savage, biting, and takes no prisoners with its attack on the modem family. The only fault of the play lies in its disjointedness. The scenes did not completely mesh, probably because they were all written by different authors. However, this is only a small criticism of an otherwise superior play. The actors all did well in their multiple roles, especially Sharon Kelly who portrayed a bitter and abused old grandmother ,and Brad Goddard as the alcoholic father. Ft7r Whom the Souhhm2 Belie Tulirs is a parody of Tennesse Williams’ Tk Glass Menagmk. But this time around Laura becomes Lawrence, a shy boy who pretends to have all sorts of ailments from asthma to a fake limp and who coflects glass cocktail stir-

rers. If you have ever read 2% Glass Memgeri>, you will find this play hilarious. Christopher Durang’s script gets the style of the play just right. Tennesse Williams would probably laugh his ass off if he were alive to see it. However, if you haven’t read The Glass Menagerie, the play is still funny. It has lots of jokes separate from Williams’ play. Again the acting was excellent, the actors’ timing was excellent, and they maintained their Southern accents very well, Gary Rush was great as the slightly retarded Lawrence, as was Stephanie Morson as the wannabe Southern Belle, Amanda. Overall these two plays are a great example of the talent at UW Drama and would be a great break from the stress of studying for fmals.

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Friday, April 3, 1998

Salvation for undergrad slackers Graduate School: Winning Strate ies for Gettmg In d ith or Without Excellent Grades Dave

G. Mumby,



by Claire special

W al1 myths


243 pugs

M. Francis to Imprint

ritten with the typical undergrad student in mind, this book dispels concerning the moun-


tain at the end of the undergraduate tunnel known as graduate school. Readers will quickly learn that grad school web pages and handbooks only reveal the basics. Yet what’s not included in these resources matters, because it’s what’s plot said that will get a student into those hallowed halls. Dr. Mumby does his best to reveal all to the lowly undergraduate. He stresses that one shouldn’t focus solely on grades and neglect other aspects of the postgraduate application process. When applying to grad school,



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those other aspects include i terns such as cover letters, curriculum vitae, and 1biographical essays. These items often prove to be every bit as influential as transcripts, providing clues about a student’s personality. Few students realize that in the admissions process, how they are perceived as individuals matters as much as their grades. In fact, in certain instances, the personal impression one gives can mafter snort than grades. Don’t be fooled by the book’s title. The word “Strategies” might conjure images of bribing professors and employing other underhanded tactics. Instead, it should have been calledGr&&&ool: l#%zt it Real/y Takes to Get/n. Mumby’s book offers sensible information-including a description of graduate school’s purpose, what the admissions people really want, and most importantly, m&y. The author knows whereof he speaks. Besides having earned his Ph.D., Mumby has been a graduate supervisor and served on various admissions committees. In researching for this book, he has discussed the traits of successful grad school applicants with colleagues throughout Canada and the United States. Who better than a man fromin there to give

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Winik 269


Gilbert staff


n her book of memoirs, Marion Winik welcomes her readers aboard the emotional roller coaster ride that is her life, Recalled honestly and courageously from her own life experience, First ComesLow fo- _





to the hopefuls out here? Among other things, Mumby endorses making personal contact with prospective schools and professors prior to applying. The importance of following suggestions such as this one might seem

obvious, but apparently a large number of students select schools based on their reputation alone. Errors in judgement such as these might result in students dropping out of school, falsely believing that a graduate education isn’t for them. In reality, perhaps it’s the particular school that has failed to meet their expectations. Familiarity with a school’s faculty also becomes convenient when an-

when they married), the book is written in chronological order, starting with the parties in New Orleans where Marion and Tony bonded by shooting heroin, drinking, and smoking while riding around in the “hangover -mobile.” After the week’s festivities of Mardi Gras were over, Marion returned to her home in New York, bringing the newly founded relationship to a temporary halt. It wasn’t long though before the pain of living apart

Heubach. When Marion \ met Tony back in 1982 at a wild Mardi Gras festival in New Orleans, she immediately fell in love with him. Her friends just shook their ship



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swering inevitable questions such as “Why’d you pick superior U?” Think about it. A reply indicating that one’s knowledge of Campus X goes beyond a liking of the landscape could prove to be useful. While earning an M.A. or Ph.D., educational alliances develop between students and their professors. A more intimate nature of studies is involved than at the undergraduate level. According to Mumby, tolerating professors and fellow students will require more than basic common courtesy. This is why he suggests going beyond meeting your department’s faculty to determine who teaches what. Instead, he stresses the importance of contacting professors to see if it will . be possible to-gasp-get alotlg with them. Many undergraduate students take the post-graduate application process for granted. Apparently a large number of them remain naive, but Mumby’s book serves as an effective reality check. It includes more advice than there is room to comment on in this review. Gru&z~ Sc~ooi... does more than revealing what you wont to know about graduate admissions. It tells you what you need to know.

In Sicknessand in Health

at . . .



to foster the couple through an eight year marriage, the loss of their first child, abuse, drug addiction, the births of their two beautiful sons, sexual betrayal, the deaths of Marion’s father and brother-in-law, and finally, the deadly AIDS virus that wore down and eventually killed Tony in the end. Written to eulogize Tony (who took her last name, Winik,

and young own lives.

ents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, children we see in our Despite the fact that

Marion and Tony’s relationship wasn’t exactly deemed “normal,” they still did normal things, such as taking their kids to Disneyland. If anything, it was very much their two children, Hayes and Vince, that continued to hold their marriage together, even after Marion’s affair and Tony’s ongoing drug addictions. Though Tony struggled at being the wonderful husband Marion only saw glimpses of, Winik portrays her husband as an excellent father, much unlike many of the homosexual AIDS victim stereotypes might have us believe. This is a great book, but to really feel the emotional intensity that Winik displays, you really have to read it for yourself. The story makes you feel as though you’re chatting away with Marion, listening to her pour her heart out over a nice cold beer. And in the end, you understand how she made it through it all, and encourage her to continue to keep Tony’s memory alive, for just like she said “Love came first, and last, and stuck with us, stubborn and battered through all the storms in between.”

Imprint Arts: Ambition makes you look pretty ugl’)

Gothic country at its best anything else out there today. When everyone else is reaching for the future music Sixteen Horsepower boldly looks back and returns to music from the 19th Century. by Rachel Imprint

people who instantly runs screaming every time you hear anything that even resembles a banjo, don’t even try to listen to this CD. But I warn you, you are missing out on some fascinating music that has great atmosphere.

E. Beanie s&f

There are many bands out there that get their sound from music from the sixties. The same could probably be said of Sixteen Horsepower, except in their case it is the 1860s that they get their musical style from. They would probably be best described as gothic country. Listening to a Sixteen Horsepower CD is like attending one of those revival meetings in the south where the preacher rants and raves about sin, hellfire and eternal damnation. It’s great to listen to. It features lyrics like, “the devil’s brand is in my bones/ an’ from inside, the holy ghost groans.” This is certainly not a lyric that you will hear many other places. Singer David Eugene Edwards’haunting voice is full of southern fire and brimstone. There is not another voice in music today quite like Edwards. That is one of Sixteen Horsepower’s main strength, their uniqueness. They don’t sound quite like

by Debbra McClitltock Imprint staff

Low Estate builds on the sound that the band has developed in their other previous works an E.P. (Ham) and album (SO& cloth a& Ash). They have tightened up their sound. Perhaps due to the influence of producer John Parish, who most recently worked with P.J+ Harvey on herDatrce&ll rat Louse PO&. Highlights include, “Pure Clob Road” and “The Denver Grab.” Sixteen Horsepower is probably not a band for everyone. If you are one of those

Wrapped in a cigarette pack “for your health,” this cassette is destined to intimate eccentricity. Vincent is a UW student and singer/songwriter on Kelp Records in Toronto. At first, he gives the impression of a rather harmless fuck, and can sing just as sweetly. But as he eases your guard, he’ll slip you a dose of sharp wit and brutal insight, for his own pleasure. The album bike,” an acoustic opens with “brown melody about a long lost bike. It’s the kind of song that makes you stick intently beside the stereo, until the mood breaks and this childish image is singing “I want my bike back, motherfucker” in a unnervingly satisfying way. Vincent’s lyrics remain simple and simply catchy through most of the album, but it’s not that easy. In his ever surprising

manner, he slides gently into experimental. . .no, wait, into captivatingly goodish experimental moments. But he doesn’t combine and contrast to be shocking or eclectically cool; it just feels good. Side B brings you back to “grade four” with girls rocking - their boys, and sends you “running through the ocean” with a wicked head tri; (just listen on head phones) and past the simple life of the “submaker man.” Vincent’s personal accounts, as pried out over guitar, bass, cello and didgeridoo are not the typical 104 sounds of the basement.


music is sincerely yours, just somehe’ll give you more than you expect. It’s a tape. It’s got a neon sticker inside and it’s hand packaged. Co find one. times




Friday, April 3, 1998




Mrs. Robinson’s



Pretty Green Machine

Lee’s Palace




Lee’s Palace





Paula Cole



Arrow Hall

May 5

Sonic Youth

The Warehouse

May 11


Molson Amphitheatre

July 3

Dave Matthews


Applications for the following schofarshfps are being accepted during the Winter term. Refer to Section 4 of the Undergraduate Calendar for further’critaria. Application forms are available in the Student Awards Office, 2nd floor, Needles Hall. Ail Facufties: Undergraduate Bursary Program -the Student Awards Office administers a large number of undergraduate bursaries and awards based on financial need and possibly on other factors such as marks, extracurricutar activities, etc. Deadline: students may apply during the term until the first day of exams. Doreen Brisbin Award - available to third year Regular or 38 Co-op female students in an Honours program in which women arecurrently under represented. Deadline: April 30, 1998. Leeds-Waterloo Student Exchange Program Award - students to contact John Medley, Mechanical Engineering. Robert flaworth Scholarship - completion of 3rd year in an honours program in resource management related to Parfc Planning and Management, Recreation, Natural Heritage or Outdoor Recreation. Deadline: May 28, 1998. Faculty of Arts: Robln K. Banfca/Pacfofi Award -available to 18 Accountancy Studies,-


on marks and extracurricular involvement. Deadline: Mar. 31, 1998. UW-ManufffeCommunfty & World Service Award - available to students who have completed a work-term in the service of others, locally, nationally or abroad who received little or no remuneration. Interested students should contact Arts Special Program, Hi-l. Faculty of Engineering: Canadian Posture and Seating Cent& Scholarship - available to all. Deadline: Oct. 15, 1998. Keith Carr Memorial Award - available to 3A/8 or 4A Chemical. Deadline: June 30,1998. SC. Johnson 81Son Ltd. Environmental Scholarship - avaitabte to 3rd year Environmental (Chemical). Deadline: May 28, 1998. Ontario Hydra Engineering Awards available to 1B Chemical, Electrical, Environmental or Mechanical. Eligible candidates will be women, aboriginal (native) Canadians, persons with disabilities or visible minorities. Deadline: July 31,1@. Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship - avaifable to 38 Civil - Water Resource Management students, Deadline: May 28, 1998. Jack Wiseman Award - available to 3B Civil. Deadline: Oct. 31, 1998.

Faculty of Environmental Studies: Robert Haworfh Scholarship - completion of 3rd in an honours program in resource management related to Park Planning and Management, Ffecreation, Natural Heritage or Outdoor Recreation. Deadline: May 28, 1998. Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship available to 3rd year Environment and Resource Studies, Planning,, Water Resource Management. Deadline: May 28,1998. Faculty of Mathematics: K.C. Lee Computer Science Scholarshfp - avaitabte to 2nd year Regular Computer Science. Deadline: Oct. 31,


Facufty of Science: Dow Canada Scholarship -available to 3A Chemistry. Deadline: June 15, 1998. S.C. Johnson 81 Son Ltd. Envfronmental Scholarship-available to 3rd year Chemistry. Deadline: May 28, 1998. Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship available to 38 Earth Science/Water Resource Management. Deadline: May 28,1998.

Enghwrlng and Society Humanitarian Award - open to undergraduate Engineering students who publish artf-

cles in The Iron Warrior. Assigned topic. One award per term, beginning Winter 1998. For details contact the Centre for Society,TechnofogyandVafues(x6215, e-mail: c&v@ or the editor of The fron Warrior (x2693: email: iwarrior@

This is the LAST PAPER of the WinterTerm. Please submit classifieds, announcements, etc. by 5 p.m. on Monday, May 4198. GOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXAMS & HAVE . AGREAT SUMMEIR!

MONDAYS English Language Lab - is held from 230 to 3:20 in Modern Languages 113 from Sept. to June. The class has an emphasis on pronunciation and listening exercises. Students, faculty, staff and spouses are welcome to attend. For more info contact the international Student Office, ext. 2814. Outers Club Meetin s - Environmental Studies I, room !! 21 at 6:30 p.m. Discuss and plan outdoor adventures. Get help with or anizin and equipment (rentals aval7able). 8 ay trips happening every weekend. Check us out! TUESDAYS TOEFL Preparation Course - the test of English as a foreign fangua e course begins Jan. 20 and ends % ar. 25. Classes are held every Tuesday and Thursday from 2-430 p.m. The 10 week course is desi ned to prepare people writing the TO % FL exam. 8 ister at

the intamational Student

Ofice,“a H2080

or call ext. 2814 for more details. Dart League at Grad House. Beginners come at 6 p.m., Intermediate 730 p.m., Advanced 9 p.m. Darts available with I.D. instructionsand rules provided. Sign up at the bar. THURSDAYS The Infinfta Clrcfa will be hofding discussion groups in ML !)4,7:3Cl- 930 p.m, on afternative splntuaflty’.

Guided self-change of alcohol use: for individuals who may have concerns about the amount they are drinkin and want to cut down. Call Counselling 8 ervices, ext. 2655 to find out more. Scholarship funds are available throu h the Multiple Sclerosis Association o9 America’s PROJECT: Learn MS ‘98 Essay Competition. June 5, 1998 is deadline. To obtain r i&ration form and info call 1-800-&A 74 N MS. Renison College is now accepting residence applications from undergraduate students for both the winter and spring terms in 1998. For further info contact the Residence Office, Renison College at 8844404, ext. 611 The IQDE Gladys Rafter Bursary for Graduate Study IS offered for one year of post-graduate study to residents of the Municipality of Waterloo or students studying at the University of Waterloo or Wilfrid Laurier University. Approximate value $3,500. Application deadline April 15, 1998. For info telephone 905~5229537/fax 905-522-3637 or contact the Graduate Offices at the above Universities. St. Catharfnes Collegiate Inst. and Voc. School is celebrating their 75th Anniversary on May 15 to 17. All students and staff members who attended since 1923 are invited to come home and celebrate. For info call (905) 687-7261 or website at, or mail address is 34 Catherine Street, St. Catharines, Ontario, L2R 5E7. Residence accommodation - Resurrection College is accepting applications for residence for the upcoming Fall & Winter terms. Single rooms for undergraduates (2nd year and above), graduates and doctoral students are available, If you are looking for a small, quiet residence with a warm, homelike at-

mosphere, give Patti a call at 885 4950. Email: +fopeSprfng, the support centre for people living with canrxr, is pleased to announce their move to 43 Allen Street, West. The move is scheduled for March 23 which wifl allow for expanded sewices and offer a larger hand in a time of oersonal crisis. Travel and study program - Jewish History and Culture in Central Europe August 16 to September 2, 1998. For details calI 888-4002 or email at conted _@cart1 - -- i&it Preparation Course - the test of English as a Foreign Language Course TTOEFLI beains April 7 and ends Jun\e 10. Ciasse’s are held every Tuesday and Wednesday from 24 p.m. This 10 week course is designed to prepare people for writing the TOEFL exam. The course fee is $50 and the book is $35. Re ister at the International Student 0 x ice, NH2080 or call ext. 2814 for more details.

If you ars interested in any of the following volunteer opportunities, please contact Sue Coulter at the Volunteer Action Centre at 742-8610. Quote the position number at the end of the description when you call. Please visit the Volunteer Action Centre’s website at: http:// vacfiles/vac. htm . .* What Are You Doing On The Weekend: #O34-96. Do you enjoy sports and animals? Care givers are needed for an active 20 year old man with a developmental disability and needs some time away from his family. A young couple without children would be a preferred match. Expenses are paid. Work With Police: #106-223. Citizens on Patrol is in need of volunteers to help patrol downtown Kitchener. Training is provided, days or evenings for 6 hours a month. Fun Raisers Needed: #002-2249. He/p the KW Catholic Youth Organization oranize their 14th Annual Lobsterfest and B ante on May 23rd and gain valuable experience planning an event. Caring Ceramics Assistant: #U852247. Whether you’re an old hat at ceramics or not, your help is needed for 2 hours on Friday mornings to assist residents of a Waterloo seniors residence, Active Living Ambassador: #t 1Q2254. If you are 50 or over and have a keen interest in a healthy lifestyle, then you are the perfect person to promote the benefits of active living to Waterloo seniors. Bookkeeper: #097-2238. Use your bookkeeping skills and knowledge of Simply Accounting to help a Cancer Support Centre located in an attractive older home in uptown Waterloo. Short-Term Chffdcare Needed: #O30180. Just 2 hours a weekof your time will allow low income parents of preschool children to participate in a Waterloo Reional Health Unit parenting course. April %OJune 15 from 1-3 p.m, at Highland Baptist Church. Volunteers with car and time during day are needed to drive elderly clients to medical and other appointments. Ffexible position. Mileage reimbursement available. RAISE Home Support, 7447666. Volunteer tutors are needed to tutor students on a one-to-one basis in written and oral English. Tutors meet students on campus, usually once a week for l-2 hours for 1 term. If you have a good working knowledge of English, are patient, friendly, dependable, and would Ii ke to volunteer, register at the Intemationaf Student office, NH 2080. For more info call ext. 2814. The Waterloo Community Arts Centre requires a Centre Attendant for Tuesday afternoons l-2 hours per week. Call 8864577 or drop by 25 Regina Street, S., Watertoo.

Learn about a different culture while you show a new immigrant how to be a part of your community. For more information, call K-W Y.M.C.A. Host Perogram at 579-9622. VOLUNTEER AT IMPRfNT - NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY. COME TO THESTUDENTLIFECENTRE, ROOM 1116 TO DISCOVER YOUR NEWSPAPFR! Waterloo Minor Soccer require house league coaches for 1998. The season runs May to July or August. Training provided. Come share your time and talents! Call 578-9680. You too can be a Big Sister volunteer. Ask about our Short-Term Match program created for university students. Call 743-5206 and ask about our 1 day training session. SMOKERS NEEDED -a smoking cessation study is being carried out on campus. If you smoke, please consider volunteering to fill out a short questionnaire. You could win a movie ticket for two. Questionnaires will be available at the porter and Davis Libraries, Student Life Centre, The Bomber, Grad House, and main entrance of most UW campus buildings. To return your questionnaires, send them through Internal mail to: The Smoking Study, Health Studies, BMH or drop them off in the provided boxes at the Davis and Porter Libraries. This study has been reviewed and received ethics approval by the Office of Human Research and Animal Care at the University of Waterloo. If you would like additional information contact Janneth Pazmino-Canizares at Health Studies, BMH. E-mail japazmin 8 or Kari n Neumann at UW Disabilities Office is looking for volunteers for ‘LINKS” (Peer Helper Program) for the Fall Term. Information and applications can be obtained in room 2051, Needles Half. The Cfty of Waterloo (88&6&!8l Volunteer Services is curiently recririting for the fotlowing volunteer positions... Volunteer Program Assistants: are needed to assist with a senior’s day program consisting of a variety of organlzed and supervised group activities designed to meet participant needs andcapabilities. Volunteersare required y;g6hours per week starting in April . Vof untaers Transportation ScMufers: are needed to assist in the scheduling of drivers for the transporation program Mon., Wed., and Fri. mornings, Office Volunteer: is needed to answer phones, take messagesand other small tasks on Monday afternoons 2:oO to 430 p.m.

Friday, April 3,1998 Cambridge-The Cambridge Self-Help Bank is pleased to invite you to attend the Open House for their new facilities as welt as the Kick Off for their Spring Food Drive at IO a.m. at 56 Dickson Street in Cambridge. For info calt 6226550. Saturday, April 4,19Q8 St. Jacobs Schoofhouse Theatre presents “Sacred Garden” at 8 p.m. at 11 Albert Street, St. Jacobs, Ont. Also playing on Sunday, April 5. For info and reservations call 664-l 134. Sunday, April 5,1998 KW Chamber Music Society presents “Ross Edwards, clarinet-piano, Jamie Parker” at 8 p.m. at the KWCMS Music Room, 57Young St., W., Waterloo. For info and resenrations cali 886-1673. Wednesday, April I,1998 Gay and Lesbian Liberation of Waterloo Coming Out Discussion Group. Topic: “Hometowns: Where I Came From.” 7130 p.m. Social follows at 9 p.m. HH 378 Meet old friends and make new ones. All welcome. Details: 884-4569. Wed., April 15: “Same-Sex Couples” Wed., April 22: “Marriage and Parenting” 1 Wed., April 29: “Breaking Up: Dealing , With Ex’s In A Small Community” Wed., May 6: “Coming Out To Yourself” Wednesday, April 8,1998 KW _-__Chamber ___ Music Societv presents “New Music b David Mitch&at 8 p.m. attheKWCM i Music,57YoungSt., W., Waterloo. For info and reservations calf 886-l 673. Sat., April 11: “Erika Raum, violin and Francine Kay, piano” Wed., April 15: “Elizabeth Dolin, cello and Francine Kay, piano. -. - ._ Thursday, April 16,1998 Free information session for caregivers of children with asthma at the Auditorium, Freeport Health Centre, Grand River Hospital. For more info call nwLn100. ““V -a--. Friday, April t7,1998 KW Computer Show & Sale - business, home, education and entertainment - happening on the 17th (5-10 p.m.), 18th (10 a.m.-8 p.m.) and 19th (IO a.m.-5:30p.m.) at the Waterloo Recreation Complex, 101 Father David Bauer Drive, Waterloo. Access ‘98 - “The Sky’s The Limit!” an exhibition of products and services for Independence that has something for everyone who knows, lives, works with or has a special need. On the 17th (10 a.m. to 9 p.m.} and 18th (IO a.m. to 5p.m.) at the Kinsmen Arena of the Kitchener Memorial Auditorium Com-


The Waterloo Wellington Myalgic Encephalomyelitis Association invites KW area Chronic Fatigue Syndrome sufferers, their fami ly and friends to a meeting at the Adult Recreation Centre, 185 King Street, S., at the corner of King and Allen in Waterloo. For ore info call 6233207. Friday, May 8,1998 St. Jacobs Schoolhouse Theatre presents “Fred Ea lesmith” at 8 p.m. at 11 Albert Street, 8 t. Jacobs, Ont. For info and reservations call 664-l 134.

This is the LAST PAPER of the WinterTerm. Please submit classifieds, announcements, etc. by 5 p.m. on Monday, May 4198. GOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXAMS & HAVE A GREAT SUMMER!

SBpt‘98 - 8 bedroom house- 2 kitchens, 2 flvingrooms, 3 bathrooms, laundry, parking, 25 minute walk. Devitt Street, Waterloo. $300. each, utilities included. 574-4728. . House for rent. Very close to universities, gas heating, basic amentities. Familv/rrraduate students. Gail 725-5348. s Sept. ‘98 - l-4 bedroom and l-3 bedroom house, 2 baths, laundry, parking, 20 minute walk. Cedarbrae Avenue and Brookhaven Crescent. 5744728. I he PhilliD Street townhouses- Summer sublet(s) ivailable - behind HMV, Loose Change Louis, Mel’s Diner, Topley’s Copy, Blue Dog Bagel and Second Cup Plaza. The best place to spend the summer. Washer/dryer (not coin operated), bright, clean rooms and free parking. Paul 886-5865 ; Scott 885-0008 ; Nitan 725-1025 ; Laura 746-6629 ; Daniela 725-3704 ; Mike 746-9674 ; Gina 885-5524 ; Catherine 884-3491 ; Paul 888-0079 ; Allison 725-3532 ; Allison 725-7458 ; Allison 725-4867 ; Jacky 725-3390 ; Ha 746-9728 ; Josh 884021 1 ; Heather 884-7513 ; Jennifer 8848849 ; Andrea 747-1320, Grace 8830182 ; Rodney 886-8194 ; Salty 885 2555 ; Jennifer 725-8673 : Heather 7469453 i Matt 725-3058 ; Dil/ny496-3455 ; Michelle 725-6673 ; Russ 7258426 ; Nick 725-6299 ; Michelle 725-6322, Andrea 7258571 ; Ritcha 884-5729 ; Michelle 725-3815; Christiana 725-9004 ; Craig 884-9939 ; Jason 725-7259 ; Lisa 884-0658 ; Ruthanne 746-l 861: Jennifer 725-8460 ; Brad 884-7319 or 884-6605 ; Will 725-9477. Call Charles at 7465761 for any additions to this list. PhillipStreet256@ Residence Accommodatton: Resurrection College is accepting applications for residence for the upcoming Fall and Winter terms. Single rooms for undergraduates (second year and above), graduates, and doctoral students are available. If you are looking for a small, quiet residence with a warm, homelike atmosphere, give Patti a call at 885-4950. E-mail: ptusch house for rent - $1 1001 I 4 rooms, located at 27A $epplE&. ‘$; 1/ 98, 12 month lease. Contact Scott at

Weekend Counseffors & Relief Staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Experience, minimum 8-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, KW Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, S., Kitchener, Ontario, N2G 3V2. fnternational fanguages! Earn $1 ,OOO-$5,0OO/month part time working from home. No experience necessary. Full training. Call Mr. Thompson (416) 631-3581. BYOB (Be your own boss). Retail booths Main Street Grand Bend on Lake Huron. Sell your product to Young Tourists. Get your MBA (Mega beach attitude). From $995. for the summer. Call 5194734084. Summer Business opportunity - Enterprising Distributers wanted. Market fun Canadian products - outdoor events - be your own boss - enjoy profits. Information (403) 867-2094. Nude models wanted - mature Ryerson photography student lookin to build portfolio. Payment in cash an cl or prints. Call Wolfgang 743-0404. Tutor/Mentors needed as part of clinical team working with ages 7 to 17 with learning Disabilities, $10. to $1 S./hour, 2 to 4 hurs/week. Call (519) 837-3169 for interview. Female models needed for nude and semi-nude photography sessions. Strictly artistic and tasteful. $4O./session. Call Tony at Accent Studios 7424053.

Margaret area). In clean older upper duplex, for quiet responsible person. Near all amenities. $325./month

Don’t pass over Thursday, April 9198. Doors open at 9 p.m. and everything is $2.00. Guaranteed to be the biggest paw in town! For info call The Lyric 749-


Call 579-2258.

lhust see Summer sublet - beautifully maintained 3 bedroom home. Washer, dryer, fridge, stove included. Fifteen minute walk to UW. 18 Hickorv Street. $175./month. Andrea 725-9746. Summer sublet - 3 bedroom apartment, upper level of large house. Clean, spacious, partially furnished, close to both campus’. 8 Cardill Crescent, Waterloo. Call 7254436.

Get out of town! Cheap worldwide flights. Insider’s guide to air courier travel. Only $19.95. Send cheque to: Tinpail, Box 1839, Jasper, Alberta, TOE 1EO.

2121, downtown


The Lyric Night Club - ride our complimentary Shuttle Bus to the Lyric every Saturday night. Departure times are 10:3Q,11:25 and 12: 15 from St. Michael’s and 10:45, 1 f :40 and 12:30 from the University Plaza. Buses will be retuminaY at 1:30, i:50 and 2: IO. Time constraints writer’s block? Can’t find the words or the right research materials you need? We can help! Write: Custom Essay Service, 4 Collier St., Suite 201, Toronto, Ontario, M4W lL7. Call (4161960-0240. Computer Lease Program - P2OOMMX, 32 MB RAM, 2.1 GB HDD, 56 Kbps Modem, 16X CD-ROM, 14” monitor. $0 Down! Only $13.75/week!! FREE DELIVERY, Call f-800-267-9466. Tweed Music: Piano lessons with Sam Wiersma MA BEd ARCCO. Reasonable rates. Students of all ages welcome. Central Waterloo location. Mention this ad for a discount of 15% from initial lesson package. 741-9163. Cube and Cargo vans available forpeople moving to Western Canada. These are rental vehicles going one way only. Also cars available to other destinations. Call 1-800-668-l 879 or (416) 222-4700.


Ladies! Fastbafl teams or players wanted for KW Ladies Fastball League. Season runs from May-end of August. Call Cindy at 742-9801. The Lyric Night Club - Student Recession Pub Night - book your own bus trip at The Lyric on any Saturday Night for the Winter semester. The Lyric will give your group free admission, free food, the craziest prices, free concert tickets, free prizes, free transportation and the biggest party hype in the world on our Student Pub Night on Satur-

days. Call our info line now at 749-2121. Also ask us how we can help you raise money for your organization or choice of charity. LOOKfNG FOR DAVE Thomson, an ex-Imprinter who enjoyed photography and writing. Please come to the Imprint Office, Student Life Centre, room 1116 between 9-5 Monday to Friday.

LSAT-MCAT-GMAT-GRE Prep Spring,/ Summer classes are forming now. Courses range from 20 to 80 hours and start at $195. Subscribe to our FREE Law School Bound email newsletter at Richardson - Since 1979 - or l-800-410-

(or by correspondence). t ,000’s of jobs available NOW. FREE information package, toll free t-88&270-2941.

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