a mattress This stuff happens One Tree Hill Special K is right phallic to other people Why even bother giving it a name, especially one like e! so she said “what’s my daughter doing with paninis never mind in a year, I hate it now Fourth wall, peopl p him, but she IS crap that blonde kid?” I was really missing you She said dum
I think psychologists would be fascinated by our nights out like
h a walk as More than a no why would you go to Cardiff?! It’s not so muc to her againMy a form of transportAnd that’s why I’ll never speak
ys chest is as smooth as Bet you get that a lot Gash is a gash word More than alwa other way
Nice Cover Image: Nicole Samuels
OVERHEARD IN FRESHERS WEEK’
knees bent the
Something about Korfball He’s a Pooka I was just standing there If my A really loud violin bit Fresh then yeah that would be fine And then it’s like conversation over It’s probably for the best is not how I’d describe it Aren’t you two related? It makes it look like I
don’t shower
No shaving of
the eyebrows It’s almost like he thinks he’s not that into himself Wish
exactly sent out a search party Slippers or I had that memory thing If I am dead my parents haven’t to caffeine The North sucks
no slippers It can’t be great that I’m allergic t pot is there to be for so many more reasons than that If the plan
with You’re not half wrong, but you’re not half right And no one stolen e Why why please explain to me any self-respect will try and break-danc
Mega
why I didn’t know stuff in my body was that colour And it tastes goooood Don’t look now, but there’s an oompa-loompa on the lose. Oh wait. No. It’s just another frightenin g fake tan job. Sadly, this bizarre trend seems to have been floating around for a while, and judging by the amount of girls (and some guys!) that have been varnishing various shades of orange, clementine and traffic-cone to their skin, it seem s as popular now as when it first became a majo r must-do for all the cool kids.
38
by Oli Holden-Rea
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a sexy glow in summ er. Some, however, take this to a somewhat scary level. Introd ucing: the Orange People. You may have seen them; indeed they are hard to miss, and frankly it is tricky not to stare at their carrotlike complexions. For these people, the future is bright and, yes, very much orange. Possibly due to influential figures in the media such as Jordan and Paris Hilton, the Orange People have come to genuinely believe that applying unnatural shades of fake tan and foundation really is the way forward. Surely nothing is more sexy than a ‘you’ve been tangoed’ victim, with streaky legs, white armpits and dirty brown knuckles where the dye has clump ed, right? Wrong. When asked if this is an attractive qualit y in a female, many guys guffaw at the ridiculousness of such a notion. One even commented on the annoying need to check their clothes after hugging an Orange Person, due to the serious issue of orange transference. Harsh but true. If you think such scathing comments are a tad too callous, let’s take a peek at the flipside: Admittedly, there is no crime in wanting to look good. A healthy glimmer is attractive, and nowadays the pressu re from the media to look buffed and bronzed is enormous. Perha ps, then, fake-tanners and foundation-wearers should be cut some slack. However, there really is no justification for some of the more extreme cases of fluorescent skin tone out there. There is a line. No, it’s not the one between your facial foundation and your neck. It’s the one you draw when you start to resem ble wood stain. by Emily Adams dfgfdf
ARTS/FILM/MUSIC/SCIENCE/NIGHTS/GRATIS