IMMORTAL Mourning, Martyrs & Murals
First Published in Liverpool, March 2019 Printed by Calverts Ltd, a Workers’ Cooperative Part funded by Active Distribution
ISBN 9781789720167 Published under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International Public Licence
IMMORTAL
Mourning, Martyrs & Murals
Foreword
Collecting What is Left Hannah Pearce One hour over the printing deadline. Considering I instigated this writing project, it’s ironic that I am struggling with knowing what to write. Struggling to introduce this collection of texts, struggling to pull the threads together, struggling to make words happen. And, I suppxose, that’s one of the reasons I thought the project was needed to begin with. The original purpose of this book was to be a designated outlet and distraction away from the media’s fascination with Anna Campbell. It was supposed to be somewhere to order our memories of shared company, love, and comradeship over someone who wasn’t only known to us through death. We are enlightened and grateful to share these pages with others who are living the same loss. In doing so it has opened and expanded our love and solidarity to others. Included are works dedicated to Haukur Hilmarsson who was also killed fighting for the same cause against fascism. We have also included a poem by Haukur Hilmarsson himself, poetry, we learned, is something he spent a lot of time creating during his life. 1
Reclaiming our loved ones from the often exploitative accounts of the public domain was never intended to privatise our experience. It was about strategising to find strength and joy with meaningful and deliberate intent. Learning how to be generous with vulnerability and transforming it into a collective experience is something we all need to get better at doing–especially if we want agency and self-determination. In many ways, this wasn’t really about Anna, Haukur and others like them at all, it was about our relation to the world that they are no longer in. In reflecting on a year of first absences, it became clear that this year of firsts will become a lifetime of ‘what-nows’. It’s a process of unrelenting learning, a process that it would be wise to have a plan for. Throughout the process of gleaning, compiling, and editing this content it seems finding words has been a common struggle for most people involved in this project. At times it has been heartbreaking supporting individuals through the process. Forcing minds to focus on traumatic events is an exhausting and difficult endeavour, and you begin to question whether it is helpful at all to do so. It’s not always easy to know whether fighting memorysuppression keeps us from moving on; moving forward. And I/we have no interest in indulging in tragedy, we are simply learning to remember, as testament to our loved ones, so we can continue to grow into the spaces they left behind. 2
Şehîd Culture
Jenni
Those who have lost their lives in struggle (fallen “Şehîd” – sheh-heed) have a special place in society and culture in the Kurdish revolutionary movement. This is immediately visible in Rojava, where every roundabout, every road, every building of the movement and many homes display pictures of şehîds. Şehîd namirin! These are the words heard at funerals, memorials or demonstrations, or when remembering with the families. This is literally translated as “martyrs do not die” and at first, to western ears, can sound like it’s talking about an afterlife, or holding death in struggle up as the goal. While many people or families in the movement have a faith or religion, this is not the meaning of the slogan or the public principle. When people say martyrs do not die, it means they are kept alive as long as we remember them, honour them, 49
and try to live as they lived. It means to remember the way your friend was courageous, or shared, or brought joy, and try to live that way yourself. Keep alive the feelings they brought to others, the issues they were passionate about. Tell stories. Tell their jokes. The political work of the movement – against capitalism, the state, and patriarchy – is in part an act of revenge for fallen comrades. But not one carried out in rage, impulsively, or even with hate. One that builds slowly and takes revenge with love, by building a new world and winning true victories, not creating cycles of violence. The core of şehîd culture is that every şehîd is a promise. A promise to understand why they were willing to risk death, and to continue and intensify the struggle and the values they were killed for. Şehîds are honoured but the culture doesn’t glorify death. Recklessness or courting danger are not in the spirit of the movement. An important principle is to belong to life, and to find a way to live well, with love. Enemies have taken many wonderful friends from the struggle, but you should never give yourself without a fight. The goal is not death, but life and şehîd culture says our fallen friends are still bringing us closer to that goal.
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For Anna Rowan
It’s nearly a year to this date. We hadn’t been in touch for some time. Time that erupted so suddenly and now sits waiting, expecting to be filled. An empty pool. I (carelessly) assumed one day we would... just. see. each. other. again. I don’t think your death should be seen as a representation of someone dying doing something they believe in. You may have joined the YPJ because they represented something you believed in, but you died because BAE systems still sell weapons to Turkey. The Turkish government use these weapons against civilians. The wounds of this wanting world are still wide open. Over the last year I have thought about you almost every day. Your death has changed the very stuff of me in ways I’m still getting to know. Its folded me over 1000 times, filled me with anger and humbled me. At times it’s made me difficult, I hold on to people too tight or some not enough. I’ve been careless and course, yet when I think of you I feel certain and soft. To anyone who knew you Anna, and to anyone who would have loved you had only they had the chance – we’ll fix you in our hearts and hold you in our fists. Let’s keep laughing, fighting, loving. Let’s keep making 154
trouble. Let’s keep stealing all those condiments from Whetherspoons. For Anna (A song) our face was setting the sun With your hands on a gun And I felt so proud of it Guess I’m not a pacifist That all stopped when I stared At a t-shirt that read Piece now? Piece now? So, I’ll keep your light on I won’t stop ‘till I say that we’ve won I’ll keep all the memories In a heart the shape of a closed hand And I’ll be as brave as I think that you thought that I am. Staring out from my screen A nest in the wind I felt so far from her Sat there in my office chair A fondness felt for a friend You think you’ll just see again Please know, please know That we’ll keep your light on We won’t stop ‘till we say that we’ve won 155
We’ll keep all the memories In our hearts the shape of closed hands And I’ll be as brave as I think that she thought that I am I’ll be as brave as I think that she thought that I am And I’ll be as brave as I think, I think I am. - Listen at foranna.bandcamp.com
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Any help towards printing costs will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!