Some More Around Our Club

Our September 2017 Opening Day when with great difficulty we managed to get members to spell out our name on B green!

Guess who this bikie moll is at the Lance Classic! (In case you do not know a bikie moll is a female companion of a gangster) Answer on page 46

Graeme Whitehorn updated his profile photo on Facebook!

Congratulations to Peter Karhu who won the $5000 jackpot in mid February

The gates of Heaven flew open wide, As St. Peter pressed the bell.

“Come in at once and take a harp,

2021 Stats On Full Body Screening at

It was also discovered that 308 politicians had no balls. Just thought you'd like to know

Why You Should Not Gossip

InAncient Greece, Socrates had a great reputation for wisdom. One day, someone came to find the great philosopher and said to him:

"Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"A moment", replied Socrates. "Before you tell me, I would like to test you with the three sieves. "The three sieves? "Yes", continued Socrates. "Before telling stories about the others, it’s good to take the time to filter what you mean. I call it the test of the three sieves.

The first sieve is the TRUTH. Have you checked if what you’re going to tell me is true?" "No, I just heard it. "Very good! So, you don’t know if it’s true".

"We will now continue with the second sieve, that of KINDNESS. What you want to tell me about my friend, is it good? –Oh, no! On the contrary. So, questioned Socrates, you want to tell me bad things about him and you’re not even sure they’re true?

Maybe you can still pass the test of the third sieve, that of UTILITY. Is it useful that I know what you’re going to tell me about this friend?

– No, really. So, concluded Socrates, what you were going to tell me is neither true, nor good, nor useful. Why, then, did you want to tell me this? “Remember Gossip is a bad thing. In the beginning it may seem enjoyable and fun, but in the end, it fills our hearts with bitterness and poisons us, too!”

– Pope Francis

Secrets for Club and Team Success?

Forrest Gump’s Mama always said, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get". In sport however, we see teams and clubs that consistently outperform their rivals, irrespective of their particular “box of chocolates”.

So, for those of us who remember Professor Sumner Miller – “Why is it so”. The Western Australian featured an article by Justin Langer where Justin summed up his reasons for the Scorchers success. These being:

• They celebrate success and this helps them build an environment of happiness and camaraderie, two powerful traits of success.

• They are like one big family. You can feel it and you can see it on and off the field because there is power and joy being part of a team.

• They have built a culture where there is constancy and an understanding of values and expectations.

• They prioritise attracting and then keeping players.

• They make sure strong leadership is a fundamental ingredient in their set-up.

• They rarely pivot away from their simple, tried and tested game plan.

• They know how to apply their tried and tested formula.

• They are a shining example of using simple but proved methodologies.

Stephen R. Covey, in his best selling book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, focuses on timeless principles of fairness, integrity, honesty, and human dignity.

He sets out seven habits that people (including teams and clubs) should follow to become more effective. These habits are:

• Habit 1: Be Proactive and focus and act on what you can control and influence instead of what you can’t.

• Habit 2: Begin "With the End in Mind". Define clear measures of success and a plan to achieve them.

• Habit 3: Put "First Things First". Prioritize and achieve your most important goals instead of constantly reacting to urgencies.

• Habit 4: Think "Win-Win". Collaborate more effectively by building high-trust relationships.

• Habit 5: Seek "First to Understand" and then to "Be Understood".

Influence others by developing a deep understanding of their needs and perspectives.

• Habit 6: Synergise - Develop innovative solutions that leverage differences and satisfy all key stakeholders.

• Habit 7: "Sharpen the Saw". Increase motivation, energy, and work/life balance by making time for renewing activities.

Sorrento is a complex community made up of over 900 free-thinking members. This represents a lot of experience, knowledge, talent and passion which, if harvested, can certainly make Sorrento an effective and highly recognised sporting and social club. But of course, it does require individual and collective contributions from all our members.

Let’s all put our shoulders to the wheel and “make it so”.

– Thanks to Justin Langer who inspired this article

The Case of Emily South

Whowas Emily South? Read on. Emily South had been a member of the St. Kilda Bowling Club for seven years and wanted to play at the highest level of competition. This was the Saturday afternoon competition, a Men’s competition that ran under the auspices of the Royal Victoria Bowls Association (RVBA). Her own club deemed her to be of sufficient standard to play but because she was female, the RVBA refused to register her.

When Emily took her case to the Victorian Equal Opportunity Commission, the RVBA defended their stance by using the “strength, stamina and physique” exception which applies in discrimination legislation. In other words, the RVBA tried to imply that Emily did not have sufficient strength or stamina and her physique was the wrong shape for her to play in the men’s competition. However, at the tribunal hearing this defence by the RVBA was rejected on the grounds that strength, stamina and physique was not significant in "Lawn Bowls". In fact, an expert witness (a physician) put the case that women were more physically advantaged to play lawn bowls because their centre of gravity is lower. A woman’s centre of gravity is across her (child bearing) hips, whilst a man’s centre of gravity is across his chest making him far more likely to topple over.

The RVBA were ordered to amend its rules so as not to prohibit women. But many of our Sorrento men are ahead of the game and have been steadily working on their physique to lower their centre of gravity (if you can’t beat ‘em – join ‘em). And all with great success! Look across the greens and you will see that while chests are out stomachs are even further out! Keep it up guys as it has been proposed that the Men’s Saturday Pennants will include Mixed Gender from 2nd Division and below in the 2023-24 season and then be a completely Open Gender Competition in 2024-25. So, sort out your centre of gravity!

– Nerrida Porteous

So What Gender is a Computer?

Alanguage teacher was explaining that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. "So what gender is a computer?" One of the students asked.

The teacher wasn't exactly sure and decided it would be a good idea to have the students decide what they thought the gender should be. So, the class was split into two groups by gender and were given 30 minutes to come up with their conclusion.

The male group decided that computers should be feminine because

• No one understands their internal logic.

• The language they use to communicate with each other is incomprehensible to outsiders

• All small mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later use

• Once you have one, you are continually spending money on accessories and upgrades.

Predictably the female group concluded that computers should definitely be masculine because

• They do absolutely nothing until you turn them on.

• They are full of data but are unable to think for themselves.

• They are designed to solve problems but for most of the time they are the problem.

• As soon as you get one you realise that if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model!

The Silver Years Certainly aren't Golden

1. People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.

2. Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.

3. I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

4. It's weird being the same age as old people.

5. Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate a helicopter either.

6. Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So, remember – Don't sing!

7. I see people my age mountain climbing. I feel good just getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

8. We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.

That's my story anyway. “And Now You Know!”

Brian Rallies to the Call with A Skip in his Step

Fora long time now the name Alcock has been synonymous with building. Dale Alcock, the boy from Kellerberrin, established an empire in the housing industry. In more modern times, Brian Alcock, the boy from Boulder, is building a reputation as an up-and-coming Skipper at the Sorrento Bowling Club.

The pair are not related and have never met, but both their wives are named Janet, which led to a confusing and hilarious scenario once when the name Janet Alcock was called out with both Janets and Brian sitting in a doctor’s surgery waiting room.

Joining Sorrento only a couple of years ago, having not sent down a single bowl since 1988 in Port Hedland, Brian has made a rapid transition from a fledgling social bowler to a respected Pennants skipper. After firstly being approached by Rob Tozer and then Roger Palmer, Brian was appointed skipper at the start of this season with virtually no experience, except for a few games in social bowls, after stating on a form he would play in any position in any division. As a result, Brian has been in charge of Sorrento’s Division 4 Gold teams on both Thursday and Saturday. His easy going, but firm, nature has served him and his teams well this season. Brian is acutely aware of what is going on around him on the green and what is required across the board to secure the aggregate.

But then, from the early days when he attended Boulder Central Primary School before transitioning to Eastern Goldfields Senior High School, Brian has been focussed. On leaving school, he gained an apprenticeship in diesel motor mechanics with the Metropolitan Transport Trust (now TransPerth). Those qualifications landed him a job with the Mt Newman Mining Company in 1972 and for more than 20 years he worked as a diesel mechanic in a locomotive workshop in Port Hedland. “I fell in love working on those big locomotives, they were a power station on wheels,” Brian said.

Brian met his wife in Port Hedland and together they raised a son and a daughter with sports of all descriptions playing a major role in their upbringing. But football, not bowls, grabbed Brian’s attention. He was selected as a back-up ruck man in the Panthers A-grade side which lost the Port Hedland grand final to Rovers in 1976.

Brian briefly had a crack at bowls at the South Hedland Club in 1988 but moved to Mullaloo in Perth soon afterwards as firstly a mechanical inspector and then in purchasing with BHP until he retired in 2014. Bowls would eventually appear again on the radar, and that came as no surprise after what his half-brother, Allan Spence, had achieved in the sport. Allan, a great all-round sportsman, boasts the phenomenal record of having won the Goldfields singles championship 10 times, the pairs nine times, the triples on 11 occasions and the fours six times.

Brian also had a reputation, as a wicket-keeper, of standing right up to the stumps to very fast bowlers and on one occasion stumped a disbelieving Bob Simpson while playing for WA Country at the WACA.

So, now with plenty of spare time on his hands, Brian decided to give bowls another go and set off for the closest club to where he lived – Joondalup. But on finding the “welcome mat” was definitely missing there, Brian jumped back in his car and headed for the Sorrento Bowling Club where he ran into a very obliging Trevor Orton – and the rest is history. For not the first time Sorrento’s friendly culture had prevailed.

And it’s no coincidence that unique culture has rubbed off on Brian who, as well as being a valuable, caring and popular skipper, very much has Sorrento’s best interests at heart.

– Jim Woodward

Silver Chain Charity Day

Our annual Silver Chain day was held in early March. Weather wise it was a very pleasant day but there were not as many players as we would have liked as only 31 social members turned up. We raised $265 and a good time was had by all. The winners were Graham Bury, Ken Evans and Greg Boyd (Pictured) with Emily Dunn, Colin Scott, Peter Irvine and Frank Bomford as runners up.

– Barbara Spence

Thank you and Complementary Letters

Webeen donating to this underprivileged school for nearly a year. A bin here and there. So great to be giving back to the community and receiving recognition. A great inroad to increase our exposure to our government grants campaign, which we very much need to capture every grant. Heartfelt to know these kids could actually have a shower and be in safe environment and Sorrento made this happen.

– Ian Lucas

Sorrento Bowling Club’s overwhelming generosity in donating to Bentley Primary School’s Containers for Change fund-raiser supported our Year 6 students in attending an overnight camp in December 2022. This was the first camp that Bentley Primary School had attended and it was only made possible by the generous support of the wider community.

The camp took place at Woodman Point Recreational Camp and provided an opportunity for the students to experience many firsts, from vertical challenges to archery, and for some their first night away from home. As their teacher, I sincerely thank you for your support. It was a privilege to witness their excitement and happiness over the two days, and am truly appreciative of the part your club played in contributing to our fundraising efforts. With thanks,

– Laura Baines

Some Interesting Quotes

Did you know?

• "Bowls is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result"

• "Bowls is 20% mechanics and techniques. The other 80% is philosophy, humour, tragedy, romance, melodrama, companionship, camaraderie, cussedness and conversation"

• "Playing bowls is like eating. It's something that has to come naturally"

• "An advantage bowls has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowl"

• "I got a new set of bowls for the wife. Best deal I've made in years!"

– Thanks to Peter McIntosh for these quotes

When "You" get to Heaven

Mike and Joe have been friends for years. When Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved bowls all our lives, and we played bowls on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's bowls there." " Mike, you've been my best friend for years. I'll do this favour for you.”

Joe sadly passes on. A couple of nights later, Mike is awakened by a blinding flash of light and a voice calling "Mike, Mike." "Who is it? Asks Mike. "Who is it?" "Mike--it's me, Joe." "You're not Joe. Joe just died!" "I'm telling you, it's me, Joe,"

"Joe! Where are you?" "In heaven", replies Joe. "I have good news and bad news." "Tell me the good news first," says Mike. "The good news," Joe says," is that there's lawn bowls in heaven, our wives are here too and are as young and pretty, old friends who died before us are here, we're all young again, it's always springtime and it never rains and best of all, we can play bowls.

" That's fantastic," says Mike. "So, what's the bad news?”

"You're in the team for this Saturday".

– Stan Brickell

Lorraine Sings Her Swan Song

Overthe years there have been comparisons between Lorraine Hyde and Dame Nellie Melba. The iconic Australian operatic soprano had a habit of making celebrated “farewell” appearances. And our own dear Lorraine has a few times indicated she was quitting bowls only to reappear once a new season came around.

But this time it is official. Lorraine has graced our greens for the last time. Turning 86 in August, Lorraine says now is the perfect time to give the game away. Lorraine made the big call immediately after Sorrento’s Division 1 Green North finals series and in the knowledge she had played an important role as a Skipper in helping that squad gain promotion to Division 1 White next season.

“My legs and arms don’t want to get out of bed these days,” she said. “I’ve been bowling for 48 years and it’s time.”

Starting with a six-year stint in the WA wheatbelt village of Beacon, Lorraine then spent 26 years with Wanneroo before what she described as 16 “very special” seasons with Sorrento.

For 33 of those years Lorraine was in top divisions, for most of that time as a Skipper, and for 15 summers as a selector at Wanneroo. Lorraine said she wanted to help care for several unwell family members and that she, herself, was retiring in “pretty good health”.

But, fortunately, that’s not the last we will see of Lorraine. She fully intends to cheer on her friends in Division 1 White next season and will continue making scones whenever Sorrento hosts big day events. Somehow that fits in with Dame Nellie Melba’s most famous song “Home Sweet Home.”

– Jim Woodward

WA Police Bowling Association vs Sorrento

Our annual match was held on a Tuesday in early March when 24 eager Sorrento players took on the Police. Despite winning 3½ of the 6 matches, we were defeated 84-76 by our visitors due to one lop-sided result. No names mentioned! Thank you all for trying your best. Next year, we’ll try to encourage some higher-division bowlers from our Club to take on a traditionally strong Police team and record a win after a string of recent defeats.

– Trevor Orton

A Kim Hughes Story

Ona recent cruise from Melbourne to Fremantle, Kim Hughes, ex Captain of the Australian cricket team, was a guest speaker. He recalled a story about Joel Garner, the 6ft. 6in. West Indian fast bowler, being interviewed by a female reporter. "Joel, you have long legs, long arms and large feet, is your body all in proportion?" Joel's reply "If I was in proportion, I would be 10ft. 6in."

Don't You Quit!

When playing for your side in a Pennant match; You're trying hard but you're not up to scratch; When your score's well down and you can't win an end, And your bowl won't finish where you intend; When you cut your grass, or you're short a bit; Just pause and think, BUT DON'T YOU QUIT.

Bowls is strange with its ups and downs, Sometimes there's smiles, sometimes there's frowns; You can have a wick for a real good pot, Yet weight may shift your only shot. Last week you won and were proud of it; This week you're down, BUT DON'T YOU QUIT.

All day luck goes with the other team; You try so hard but you're way off beam. If the jack is moved, it's not your way; You've never had such an awful day. But you're part of a side, so where's your grit; Fight for your Club, BUT DON'T YOU QUIT.

– Written by A.J. Tutt , Frank Tutt's brother

IF YOU DON'T VOLUNTEER DON'T COMPLAIN

Jim Woodward found this brilliant sign at the Inglewood Bowling Club and thought it might be something for our nonvolunteers to consider ur first competition of the year was the annual “Australia vs the Rest of the World” competition. "Australia" won the “gong” for their patriotic attire; with “the others” winning the croquet! A great time was had by all – as always.

OA “Daft Doubles” competition was held by Cambridge Croquet Club on 18th February with two Sorrento pairs competing and both doing really well! In the end, Wendy Price and her sister Janice Davidson were the winners of the finals!

The GC Singles title was won by Jan Craddock, who won all her matches; and Wendy Price was the runner-up – losing only one match. Jan was defending her title of last year; and has now won it for two consecutive years! Congratulations, Jan, on your consistently high level of play.

The Golf Croquet (GC)

Doubles was held in early February and won by Sandy and Di with Janice and Wendy (the sisters) being runners-up; with Jan and Terry in third place.

A visit from the “Red Hat” ladies brought a colourful splash to our courts. Thanks to Jan and Terry, Sandy and Trish for welcoming the group and showing them the basic elements. We hope to encourage some interested members of the group to re-visit, and perhaps join, our Club.

In February, four visitors from Gainsborough CC in the UK visited Sorrento and enjoyed some good games in hot weather. Their colleagues in UK were very envious of our weather. The final game of the morning happened to be Sorrento vs Gainsborough, with Sorrento winning the game and both sides winning some new “friends”.

– Di McGivern

Emotions Run High as Grissy is Farewelled in Style

Thediverse makeup of the enormous throng of mourners who came to farewell Craig Grisbrook said it all. And the grief was palpable.

A gathering of about 300 people signalled in a manner loud and clear the impact Grissy had on those in attendance at his funeral – men and women of all ages, plus children, from all walks of life. Celebrant, close friend and at times an emotional David Wimbridge painted a stunning picture of a man who, at the age of 60, was taken way too early with the insidious condition of Mesothelioma.

With a picture of Grissy in healthier days happily looking down on those who had come to say goodbye, Grissy’s daughter, Elyce, her sorrow matched only by her strength, made it quite clear what a decent, caring and funny bloke her dad really was.

And the family inner circle at Pinnaroo on March 3 of Grissy’s wife, Anne, and son Mitchell, who is the spitting image of his father, and his wife Kat, also included his precious Golden Labrador Macie. Craig’s son-in-law Daniel had prepared a glorious collection of photos, with his favourite artist Kasey Chambers singing gently in the background, which showed Grissy – simply having a good time.

Then there was the strong contingent of Sorrento bowlers, those who had played alongside Grissy included our former member Peter Balcombe, who had driven up from Dunsborough to pay his respects.

Having decided to join the club in 2003 Grissy was soon turned into a formidable first division third by Mick Martin and was so thrilled at winning our Club championship pairs with his mentor in 2016 that he kept the scorecard pinned to a wall in his house ever since.

Mick was the driving force behind the wake at our Club that followed Grissy’s funeral – and for the second time that day it was a case of packed to the rafters.

Craig Harvey Grisbrook was born in Osborne Park in 1962 and grew up in Tuart Hill and Karrinyup – attending Karrinyup Primary School and then, reluctantly, Hale School. After completing his education, Craig completed a Carpentry/Builders Certificate which eventually led to him setting up his own handyman business which saw him building horse stables one day and then hanging up pictures for little old ladies the next.

He met his eventual bride, Anne, at the Overflow, which was part of the Nookenburra Hotel when he was 21 and she 17. After six years of enjoying each other’s company, Elyce was born in 1990 and Mitchell a couple of years later.

Grissy liked bowls because you could have a beer while you were playing. But having a beer and camping trips with his mates were absolute highlights for Grissy. On one such trip to Milligan’s Island, about 190kms north of Perth, Grissy got lost after a few beers one night and decided that if he yelled Cooee a few times his mates would come to the rescue. They could hear him hollering but didn’t know where the noise was coming from in the dark and went back to sleep. The next morning, they learnt Grissy had given up being rescued and had slept in the sand hills cuddled up to Macie.

Then on one holiday to Queensland with Anne and some friends Craig fell down some stairs where they were staying and broke a couple of ribs. Still sore when he got home, Grissy decided to have an X-ray, which ominously revealed shadows on his lungs – later to be confirmed as Mesothelioma which he contracted as a young man on a building site riddled with Asbestos. The fortunate aspect of the diagnosis was that Craig learnt of his condition before the symptoms set in and it was almost three and a half years before they cut him down.

That gave Craig, Anne, Elyce and Mitchell valuable time to spend together and that’s what they did until the very end. Hospitalised again in February, Grissy finally realised his time was up and insisted he be taken back home. Grissy had decided he wanted to do things on his own terms and he did it with dignity and deliberate intention. He knew it was time and he gave his family those last few precious hours.

– Jim Woodward

On the right Grissy and his son Mitch who played Stan and Dean Brickell in our annual "Fathers and Sons" Bowls competition

A smiling Grissy acknowledging the prestigious "Crab Award" he won for a misdemeanour. Mick thinks it was a wrong bias