Rude, Lewd, Crude and Nude

Rude, Lewd, Crude and Nude

Now you might be able to help me out here! As surely many of our more informed members will be aware, controversy, has reigned since 720 BC, about whether it was the Greek runner Orsippus or his rival Acanthus who was the first Olympiad to run a foot race nude. Rumour has it that Orsippus lost his loincloth during his 185-metre run in the 15th Olympic Games and being too knackered to retrace his steps continued on and won the race. He was accredited as “the first of all Greeks to be crowned “Victor Naked”. Acanthus claimed that he got the short end of the stick but decided to let the matter rest.

But I digress. While this controversy may well have fired a passion that saw nude athletic competition become all the rage in Greece at that time, it has not caught on in modern times, apart from the informal crutch and grab games played in numerous nudist colonies around the world. Could this be the competitive edge that our sport of lawn bowls is looking for? Innovative and thought provoking certainly. Will it increase

(or decrease) participation in the

future? Shelley Jeffs reckons that this sight for sore eyes will cause e a mass exodus of men! Brian Lucas thinks more people "will embrace the game".

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Recently the cartoon above appeared on Facebook. It seems that some clubs are going for a compromise and prefer some clothing!

However, as you can see, from the cartoon above, semi nude bowls is far from a novel idea and has been tried before. This cartoon was published in the West Australian newspaper, to illustrate an article by Bevan Eakins. For $20, copyright approval was received to use this cartoon as part of this article. Please don’t take offence or complain! If it was good enough for the West Australian it's good enough for Sorrento! Please note that hats are being worn so at least their heads won’t get sunburnt!

Unlike many other sports where clothing plays an essential role in modern sport performance, through for example better shoe grip to add a spring to a runner’s step or swimming costumes that help swimmers easily slide effortlessly through the water, this cannot be said for lawn bowls or other ball games like bocce, billiards, squash and water polo. Competing in the nude of course can create awkward logistical issues for lawn bowlers, For example

• How to protect your feet? On some synthetic greens bowlers’ shoes have melted and as a consequence, the bowlers pictured alongside have sensibly kept their shoes on • What to do when it's cold? • What to do when you get awkward comments, questions, and stares from the fully clothed opposition? • Where to put your score card, measure and chalk during a game?

Ken Giles recommends that you could put your pencil behind your ear! • How to avoid sun burn? • What to wear in the clubhouse after the game?

And don’t think for a minute that this sort of behaviour doesn’t happen at Sorrento. A couple of seasons ago, Skipper Pauline Bourne, her Lead Coral Smith, Second Robyn Woodward and Third Lee Leach needed two on the last end to win our Club’s Championship Fours competition. Lee managed to get her first bowl and then her second almost right on the kitty.

The job was almost done. Opposition Skipper Moira Dean’s first bowl was well off course. Her second, and the game’s last bowl, was much wider than where she intended it to be. But lurking out wide, almost on the out of bounds line, was a bowl which could best be described as “errant”.

Of course, Moira managed to clip it and wicked sideways straight onto the kitty. Never backwards in coming forward, Moira turned around and bared her backside to the audience – the message clearly being that it was an “arsy” shot. The championship suddenly belonged to her team and their names are etched in history