Lonely Days Are Gone
Sangria Mischief
—Bill James
—Julie Shapiro
It started with one hamster because he was lonely and wanted companionship and his landlord would absolutely not allow a cat or a dog but instead suggested a bird that would stay in a cage such as a parrot but the lonely man’s aunt had had a parrot when he was younger and quite possibly she still had it or probably it died but maybe she got another one he really didn’t know he hadn’t visited her in quite awhile which saddened him since he now knew what it felt like to be lonely but at any rate it had always seemed that the parrot was taunting him and it wouldn’t shut up and the thought of it reminded him of his exwife and that quickly turned him off of the entire bird idea so he opted instead for a hamster but of course after a few weeks the hamster was not as peppy as he too had grown lonely and needed companionship so the man went out and got another hamster that the first hamster could hang out in the cage with but the first hamster was kind of mean to the new hamster and wouldn’t share the food with him and one day the man found the second hamster dead so he threw it in the trash and went and got another hamster but this time also got a bigger cage with a retractable partition so the hamsters could play together during the day but be separated at feeding time and the hamsters seemed very happy and so the man felt happy but that night he was awakened by a lot of scratching and thrashing coming from the direction of the trash can and it turns out the second hamster hadn’t died after all but had passed out due to malnutrition but since there was plenty to eat in the trash can he was revived and so first thing in the morning the man went and got another even bigger cage with yet another partition and he put his hamsters in it and all seemed very content but one day after some time had passed he came in to find that the third hamster had had six baby hamsters and it seemed that the first hamster was helping her take care of the babies which was enjoyable for the man to watch but eventually he began to notice that the second hamster acted as if he felt left out like a third wheel so the man went and got more cages with more partitions and a girlfriend for the second hamster with whom he got along great but time passed and passed and no babies so the man took them to the veterinarian who told him that no babies were born because both hamsters were girls but this confused the man because when he had just the first and second hamsters they did not get along and had no babies so he brought in the first hamster and the veterinarian told him that that hamster was also a girl and this is when the man realized he had the first and third hamsters mixed up because hamsters kind of look alike so he went back home but not before stopping at the pet store to buy more cages with more partitions plus boyfriends for the third and fourth hamsters and over time all the pairs had babies and the babies grew and formed new pairs and more babies and before he knew it the man had lots and lots of hamsters and was very busy feeding and cleaning and buying cages and retracting partitions but the man eventually realized that the hamsters had not kept him from feeling lonely and soon after he spent a week locked in the bathroom with a case of Jim Beam and no one fed or watered the hamsters and they all died.
Lost in pictures of Sangria the lovers winked at each other as a bride walked past them. She clutched her bouquet of Casablanca lilies and hiccupped. A flower dropped to the ground and she bent down ever so graceful, as John nibbled on Priscilla’s ear. He dared her to grab the veil. Priscilla nodded, “I do…indeed love lilies.” She feigned picking up the flowers and John swiped it. The bride called for help and the two lovers sprinted for the cliffs. Amidst shouts for the cops, Priscilla reached into her pockets for barrettes. John kicked off his running shoes in front of the cliff overlooking the turquoise ocean and shouted, “Hurry.” Priscilla fastened the veil in her hair and John grabbed her hand. Together they jumped and smiled at the sound of the police sirens. Priscilla tugged at his shirt catching a little back skin. “Go gentler on the nails, hon.” The shirt ballooned like a sail. A megaphone blared. The cops shouted at them to come clean for their wedding theft and all would be forgiven, but John and Priscilla hit the waves and dove down. They swam with her legs against his underwater as fast as they could toward the neighboring cove. When they couldn’t hold their breadth any longer they dared to push to the surface. The police still on a megaphone called down at them for jumping and thievery, but they just smiled at each other and kissed, then continued swimming. In the cove they exchanged their vows next to a smattering of floating rose petals, ones John said he’d stolen from last week’s wedding party. Priscilla said, “So you snagged it from a table arrangement?” “Nah, that’s for amateurs. It’s the bride’s bouquet.” “But how?” “Oh, she got spooked by a bumblebee and the poor photographer had his hands full trying to get her to pose without crying, but he couldn’t help her jumping and tripping on her own train and that’s when I made my move.” “And that’s why I love you, you’re so resourceful,” and with that Priscilla reached into her pocket, extracted a safety pin as a big as a guppy, opened the prongs and handed John a ring. She told him, of course, it came from the ring bearer, one little five year old just couldn’t resist her offer of a teddy bear at the wedding the week before. “Ah….hon…you’re The Mischief Supreme.” And they did as lovers do basking in the sun and the warmth of each other’s bodies until the police came and wanted to have a word with them. Why it seemed a certain wedding or two or three was missing a memento. Handcuffed and all John and Priscilla vowed their love in the back of a police car and John said, “We’ll always be resourceful. Priscella said, “Yes, always, always.”
DELMA LUBEN - www.authorsden.com/luben Internationally published author/poet Delma Luben writes about relationships, between the races, the sexes, and the species--and between this world and the next. Executive editor, inspirational speaker, and honorary member of The International Society of Poets for Peace, she has been nationally recognized for “… outstanding literary contribution against discrimination and religious intolerance.”
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THE OTHER SHEEP by Delma Luben was recently selected “Book of the Month on Religion and Spirituality,” by Best Book Reviews, U. S. and Canada. This fascinating chapter in the continuing story of heaven sending guidance to God’s earth children, is spirituality made human. You feel you know the characters, as if you’d met them in another place and time.
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