The Irvington Voice 28.1

The official publication of Irvington High School

in Fremont, California

THE V ice

October 18, 2019

VOLUME 28, ISSUE 1

Meet Eslami pg.

The Voice welcomes the new Assistant Principal Adam Eslami to Irvington High School!

The Joker

Back to School! pg.

STUDENT LIFE

Flip to the IHS Voice Features section for all you need to know for the 20192020 school year!

pg.

ENTERTAINMENT

FEATURES

FUSD 2019-2020 budget cuts impact AP classes

By Achintya Pinninti and Darsh Singhania Sports Editor and Staff Writer

Felicia Mo | News Editor Ms. Ariela Koehler, who taught AP Biology prior to the budget cuts, now teaches AP Chemistry and Living Earth Honors.

Irvington High School has felt the effects of serious budget cuts in all departments for the 2019-2020 school year, causing the elimination of several Advanced Placement (AP) classes.

The process of working through budget cuts and removing funds from various departments began shortly after the May 22 FUSD board meeting decided upon the changes. Irvington administrators were given several weeks to cut out 20 “sections” of classes, or 20 class periods.

With this knowledge, Irvington began spreading out these sections between every department, taking some input from students but largely focusing on graduation requirements and teacher needs. To equally reduce funding to each subject

Read all about the new Joker movie, an alternate backstory for one of DC’s biggest characters.

in school while also allowing for graduation credits, teachers who taught subjects not required for graduation lost more sections and were pushed to take on these core classes.

This need to get classes for all teachers and maintain classes required for graduation outweighed speciality courses like AP Computer Science, which also had fewer sign ups than Physics 1 and C. This decreased the number of AP classes offered, and in some cases, like AP Computer Science and AP Biology, eliminated them from the school.

“AP Computer Science got cut because Kumar needed to teach Physics 1 and Physics C so that another teacher could teach freshmen,” said Principal Amada Melsby. “Since Kumar is part-

time, he only teaches three or four classes.”

Many students noticed significant scheduling changes at the start of this school year.

“We wanted to [follow] the May schedule requests,” said Principal Melsby, “but [the board decision] came out in May.” Principal Melsby explained that because of the late notice from the district, the school was unable to fulfill many students’ requests.

According to Mrs. Melsby, AP Music Theory, AP Computer Science, AP Biology, AP Spanish, and AVID were cut from the school’s courses for the 2019-2020 school year, but they will be offered next year depending on class size, though sections with the fewest sign-ups will still be removed. This will work to prevent the removal of AP Biology next year, as there is a large class of sophomores that cannot take it until junior year. However, AP Computer Science (APCS), as well as others, may not return because the teachers that teach those classes have been assigned to other core classes the school requires to graduate. Every year some teachers leave and others request changes to their classes, so rebalancing of the required courses is always necessary. For example, Mr. Kumar, the APCS teacher, is only a part-time teacher at Irvington, teaching three to four periods a day. In past years, he taught Physics 1 for some periods and APCS for others, but the school needed him to teach more physics this year, causing the cutting of APCS.

Continued on Page 2

@theihsvoice @ihs.voice @ihsvoice

IHS Students participate in Climate Walkout

By Megan Dhingra Student Life Editor

On Friday, Sept. 27, Irvington High School students participated in a climate change walkout during advisory. The organizers of the strike, Mashel Khan (11), Amandine Cayla (12), and Anjana Surpriya (11), gave passionate speeches on the blacktop about climate change, along with three teachers: Mme. Cayla, Mr. Lee, and Mr. Johnson.

Around 150 IHS students attended the strike.

“[The turnout] was way better than I thought it was going to be, it was amazing,” said Khan.

“We were really surprised. We were barely expecting like 20-50 people to be there. That was a lot of people, I was really glad.”

Organized by the three students, this walkout was in conjunction with the worldwide strikes led by climate change ac-

tivist Greta Thunberg. In the past week, 4 million people joined Thunberg in her protest to increase awareness of global warming and push governments to take action.

“Now, leaders know we have our eyes on them,’” said Khan, quoting Thunberg.

During the walkout, the teachers and organizers gave speeches about who and what climate change is currently affecting, and what everyone can do to help alleviate it. Mme. Cayla discussed how fast fashion devastates the environment and Mr. Lee mentioned that since the Bay Area is close to the sea, it would be submerged if current patterns of destruction continued.

Continued on Page 4

Megan Dhingra | Student Life Editor Anjana Surpriya (11) stands at the podium giving her speech while Mashel Khan (11) and Amandine Cayla (12) hold up signs.

Fremont votes 7-0 on City Hall site for Housing Navigation Center

By Kayla Xu Editor-in-Chief

Grace Xu Nearly 400 attendees lined up to speak in front of council members during the meeting, each given an allotted 45 seconds to make a statement.

www.ihsvoice.com

On Sept. 10, Fremont City Council made a 7 to 0 decision to construct the planned Housing Navigation Center (HNC) at the City Hall location, which will be managed by Jamie Almanza, Executive Director of Bay Area Community Services (BACS). This decision served as the culmination of over a year’s worth of discourse and debate not only among City Council, but also Fremont residents, the most vocal of whom opposed the construction of such a center.

The potential construction of an HNC was initially

proposed on Apr. 17, 2018 as a possible strategy to combat Fremont’s growing homeless population. According to the 2019 Alameda County Homeless Count and Survey Comprehensive Report, homelessness in the county has increased 43% since 2017, from 5,629 people to 8,022. By Sept. 18, 2018, Fremont declared a “Shelter Crisis” and allowed emergency action in response.

“We know that homelessness has been increasing over the last several years,” said Fremont Police Chief Kimberly Petersen. “We knew anecdotally that it was affecting our ability to provide public safety.”

On July 9, 2019, the City

Council narrowed down the 11 proposed sites to 2: the Decoto Surplus Lot site and the City Hall site. In an online survey conducted by the city, 82.6% of responders preferred the City Hall site over the Decoto site. The Fremont residents in support of constructing the HNC at City Hall argued that placing the HNC in downtown Fremont would be the most logical decision in terms of convenience and safety.

“There are already a lot of encampments around [City Hall],” wrote an anonymous resident on a comment card at an HNC Community Workshop.

Continued on Page 4

Inside: Student Life 6 | HOIH 8 | Opinions 9 | Features 12 | Entertainment 15 | Sports 18 | Humor 21

NEWS

Page 2

ASG Coordinates New Ad Hocs With SurfBoardE

By Felicia Mo

The Irvington Voice Editor-in-Chiefs Andrew Fu, Kayla Xu News Editors Kayla Xu, Felicia Mo Student Life Editors Rory Conlon, Megan Dhingra

News Editor

Humans of Irvington High Editor Rachel Kavalakatt

With the start of the new school year, Irvington ASG plans on implementing new ad hocs, temporary groups that are formed based on an ASG member’s individual interests, to address topics such as special education, environmental awareness, and mental health on campus. These ad hocs were initiated by SurfBoardE, a student group comprised of representatives from all five high schools in the Fremont Unified School District.

SurfboardE Secretary and Irvington representative Emily Liu (12) first proposed to address those special topics by starting a new outreach committee whose job is to connect school, district, and city organizations with each other to better respond to certain issues prevalent throughout Fremont.

“For example, within the school district, there’s a student wellness committee,” said Liu. “Within city council, there’s a health and wellness committee. Every school should have a mental health club or a committee related to ASG administration or the general student body. The idea is that we connect all three of these because often times at the school level, district level, or at the city council level, they hold their own individual activities.”

A combined, collaborative effort, Liu explains, will efficiently yield positive results. However, for the proposed program to work, every high school in the FUSD needs to have a club that specializes in each of the issues at hand. In other words, although Irvington does have a mental health club, Bring Change 2 Mind, it no longer has an environmental awareness or special education club, which hinders the communication needed on a school, district, and city level to address those topics.

Fortunately, ASG member and Irvington SurfBoardE representative Zayaan Khan (10) is able to fill in this gap. As

a start, Khan plans to reintroduce environmental awareness, special education, and some mental health topics to Irvington in the form of ASG ad hocs. Most ad hocs run for a certain period of time after which the ad hoc dissolves. ASG members are free to join as many ad hocs as they like, entirely based on their interests. For instance, campus beautification was an ad hoc that involved repaving the pavilion and continuing the murals on the walls.

“We finally got district approval to get that done,” says ASG President Nava Babaei (12). “Now we want to focus on getting trees in that area because it looks really empty and blank right now. We’re even getting requests for more murals. That was something from last year, but it’s a continuous thing. I think a lot of people think ad hocs are a year at a time, but they [can be] ongoing too.”

In Khan’s case, he hopes to express his and SurfBoardE’s interests through an

Student feedback played a large part in this issue as well. Ankur Samanta (12) was a junior when the budget cuts occurred and was unable to take APCS because of them.

“We made a group on Messenger,” said Samanta, “and put everyone we knew in there just so that, when we did get an update, we could tell everyone at once to avoid

any confusion.” The group also discussed the efficacy of removing classes. Samanta expressed the sentiment that students’ learning should not be affected no matter how bad the budget is.

The school has taken students complaints into consideration, offering some plausible alternatives.

“Some people elected to take five

Opinions Editors Andrew Fu, Roxana Shahmohammadi Features Editors Vidushee Mishra, Nikoo Alizadeh Entertainment Editors Shradha Krishnamurthy, Akshita Nair Sports Editors Achintya Pinninti, Michael Zhu Humor Editor Alice Shu

Felicia Mo | News Editor ASG President Nava Babaei (12) wants to add greenery to the newly repaved pavilion as a continuation of the campus beautification ad hoc

Budget Cuts (cont.)

ad hoc that will work with existing clubs at Irvington to bring awareness to environmental issues and special education.

“I want to have mental health events like stress-relieving events such as Stress Free Week,” says Khan. “What I want to do is not just focus one week on it but have it more year-round because stress doesn’t just go away in one week. And in those events, I want to include the special ed kids.”

Khan also plans on contacting Irvington’s various service clubs, such as Key and Leo, to coordinate one large, unified event as opposed to multiple smaller ones.

The idea reflects Liu’s belief that working together will produce much more effective results.

With most of the attention focused on Homecoming Week, there is yet to be a set date for the beginning of these new ad hocs, although Khan has estimated that he will likely start his ad hoc in late October.

classes and do an Ohlone class,” said Melsby. “That was the most common. For those [AP] classes we aren’t offering, we are offering the test.”

Besides cutting classes, the new budget also placed a 20% cut on site funding, which includes all department materials. As a result, classes are relying on donations as a substitute for the time being.

Photos Editors Ashka Patel, Emily Liu Web Editor Kritika Sachar Distribution Manager Sanjana Gudivada Broadcast Manager Prahalad Chari Copy Editor Justin Kim Advisor Matthew Phillips Staff Writers Anushka Nair Arshad Mohammad Darsh Singhania Geetika Mahajan Geoffrey Zhang Isabella Lam Joy Kuo Kelly Feng Sameeha Salman Serena Yeh Shivangi Gupt Will Peng General Policy The Irvington Voice is a student-run newspaper with the sole purpose of providing an open forum for student expression. Anything printed represents the opinion of the writer, but not necessarily that of The Irvington Voice staff, the administration, faculty, or any person affiliated with the Fremont Unified School District.

The Irvington Voice does not discriminate against race, political orientation, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or disability. Although The Irvington Voice will never refuse to publish student guest submission based on the aforementioned factors, we reserve the right to edit or not publish them.

Junior and Senior Prom Being Combined

By Sanjana Gudivada Distribution Manager

Rory Conlon | Student Life Editor Last year’s Junior Prom was held at Castlewood Country Club, but with a combined prom this year, both classes should expect a larger venue and turnout rate than ever before.

Friday, October 18, 2019

Starting the 2019-2020 school year, Irvington is combining Junior and Senior Prom due to lack of participation and low budgets that hinder a quality prom.

The combined prom that will cater to both Juniors and Seniors and, at the moment, its funds will allow ASG to hire a professional prom planner which could result in a better prom than previous years.

This could also fix the issue with participation as part of the reason for a combined prom this year is due to very few Juniors buying tickets to prom last year.

“Junior prom sales in general have declined because it’s around AP testing. Junior prom itself isn’t gonna get us enough sales, so if we have those smaller number of sales combine with the senior class then we could afford a better venue,” said Raisah Khan (12), an event and prom head in the senior class council.

The concept of a combined prom isn’t new. Many schools in the FUSD districts have been doing only one prom, and Irvington was the last school to follow suit.

Besides a better venue, this combined prom has a lot more to offer such as better food, games, and amenities that a separate prom won’t have. Because there will be a combined class at prom, the atmosphere will also be more lively since there will be a larger amount of people. Overall, there are very few setbacks to this new format of prom.

“I think in the beginning a lot of seniors were not happy about a combined prom which is pretty understand-

able because it’s their senior prom and they wouldn’t think that they would have a bunch of juniors at their prom.” said Audrey Lee (11), one of the junior class officers.

Irvington was the only school in the district that had been having two separate proms; the other schools have always maintained one prom for Juniors and Seniors which is cost-effective decision.

“At the end of the day I don’t think seniors are gonna miss out on their senior prom just because of the fact that it’s a combined prom.” said Raisah Khan (12).

According to ASG advisor Mr. Willer, Irvington as a school is financially not able to have two proms this year. “If we couldn’t afford to have senior prom, there are two options. We have a combined prom, or we have no Junior prom whatsoever,” said Willer.

This year’s prom venue is the Exploratorium in San Francisco, which rules out the discomfort of having small or overcrowded spaces. With more people, the atmosphere is expected to improve and, according to Willer, the ticket cost would be a lot more affordable as well.

Friday, October 18, 2019

Irvington’s Upcoming Wellness Center

Page 3

By Alice Shu and Roxana Shamohammadi

Humor Editor and Opinions Editor

An increased focus on mental health at Irvington High School has led to several additions to the school’s routine and structure, such as a wellness center, which is scheduled to open at the end of October and will act as a “safe space” for students to decompress and relieve stress during lunch and after school.

The wellness center, currently being cleaned and set up by Principal Melsby and Vice-Principal Honerkamp, will eventually consist of two adjoined rooms with activities to help de-stress, such as coloring books, stress balls, and hot tea. Counselors outside of Irvington, such as Tri-City youth mentors, could also use the space to help troubled or stressed students. The Center is currently being funded through donations, although a grant could possibly help stock the center with more furniture and activities for students.

“We looked quite a bit at other schools who have wellness centers,” said Principal Melsby, “and us[ed] them as a model for what types of things you have in there, how does it run, [and] how is it organized.”

For example, Castro Valley High School has a brand new building that functions as a health center, while Palo Alto High School and Gunn High School have all their counselors in a separate building. All these buildings aim to provide extra mental health support for their school’s students, and Irvington’s new wellness center hopes to achieve that same goal, despite its smaller size.

Since the school can not hire new staffers to take over the center, it will rely on teacher volunteers as well as a small student task force. The student force will be a diverse student group unaffiliated with any club on campus established to obtain student perspective on mental health issues at school and brainstorm ideas to address them. The members of the task force will be from different student groups on campus, including student athletes and students with different extracurriculars to allows for more perspective on different issues facing

Alice Shu | Humor Editor The current members of the student task force and Assistant Principal Honerkamp look over student applications to join the group as they expand their membership. diverse groups of students.

“It makes sense to ask for recommendations from students and not just teachers [on] what more [teachers] could be doing because administration should also have the trust that teachers [are] doing as much as they can be doing,” explained Emily Liu (12), one of the co-presidents on the task force.

They will meet periodically to discuss issues facing the school, including potentially changing the hours of the wellness center to reflect student schedules, and brainstorming new policies on campus that would address student stress.

“I think the only way to solve mental health problems at school is by changing actual policy,” Liu said. “[There needs to be] a way to communicate between teachers to mandate certain things to happen, so that’s what the task force does”.

The student task force is different from COST, a staff organization that aims to assess the support that students need. Apart from COST, individual Irvington teachers are also increasing their focus on mental health. Each teacher has chosen either the “intervention” or “wellness” goal and is adopting new practices to fulfill them; this could include meditation peri-

ods in class, gratitude journals, etc. Teachers will discuss within their departments the different steps they will be taking and any observations on the effectiveness of their new practices.

“I think just having somewhere on campus where you are comfortable and you feel safe [will] increase your desire to be here, your resiliency for, like, ‘If I’m having a bad day, where do I go, what do I do?’” says Melsby. “And ultimately, that’s going to lead to a better relationship with the school. So the wellness center’s just one piece of that.”

Page 4

Climate Change (cont.)

“We are just living our day-to-day life but this is actually a long term problem that we have to start planning for and find a solution now, because when it happens [later], it may be too late [to fix it],” said Mr. Lee during an interview with the Voice.

Overall, the organizers and many students think that the speeches at the walkout left a huge impact on Irvington and successfully brought more attention to climate change.

“I think, because of the strikes, people will be more thoughtful about who they vote for,” said Surpriya, another organizer. “Because if you see 4 million kids telling you to make the right decision, it kind of puts pressure on you and you kind of have to make the right decision.”

Sanjana Moturi (10), an attendee of the walkout, thinks that it was very effective since the speeches not only brought awareness but also gave potential solutions for the issue. She also thinks the walkout was a reality check for the students.

“I think that as high schoolers,” said Moturi, “we get preoccupied with schoolwork or club work, so we forget about real-life issues. The teachers’ and students’ speeches literally gave me goosebumps. It was quite inspiring.”

Although the walkout was a success, with many people attending, Khan and the other organizers did face some difficulty publicizing the event. The walkout was approved by Principal Melsby, but they were not allowed to make any announcements throughout the school using the loudspeaker. Instead, they publicized the walkout by posting fliers around the school, going to advisories to make announcements, and through social media.

“It had to be completely us three [publicizing],” said Khan. “That was hard, but the turnout was really good, so it was fine.”

Khan hopes to make the walkout for climate change an annual event and to make a tighter schedule for the speeches since the teachers did not have enough time to speak during the walkout (Mr. Johnson’s speech was cut off by the bell). Despite this,

Khan is still delighted by the turnout and has a good feeling about all the changes it will bring. Many people came up to her afterward and thanked her for bringing more awareness to the issue. Khan also received many positive messages from students

about the walkout through social media.

“I’m really proud of us,” said Khan. “I’m really proud of the people who decided to come, and all of the students and the teachers who gave speeches. I’m really proud of everyone.”

Housing Navigation Center (cont.)

Grace Xu

Friday, October 18, 2019

“[City Hall is] close to social security services, medical services, police [department], public transportation, groceries, and a lot of job opportunities [are] nearby.”

However, a vocal group of residents strictly opposed the construction of the HNC anywhere in Fremont. Many attended City Hall meetings and the three HNC Community Workshops Fremont held during Aug. 2019 to express their concerns.

“No HNC in Decoto, downtown, or anywhere in Fremont,” said Jing Hong at the second of three HNC Community Workshops Fremont hosted at Harbor Light Church. “[The HNC] only provides two portable containers for 45 people, one bed, [and] one meal a day. ”

The main concerns many residents had regarding an HNC in Fremont revolved around a potential increase in crime, drug use, and the proximity to schools, public parks, and residential areas.

However, the city argued that there would be no increase in crime.

“The vast majority of our calls for service involving folks who were experiencing homelessness do not involve crime,” said Police Chief Petersen. “They typically are just a negative interaction between someone from our homeless community and someone from our general population or our business community.”

Petersen also cited the crime rates surrounding Berkeley’s STAIR Center — with a reported 82% success rate according to the HNC Frequently Asked Questions page — which the Fremont HNC has been modeled after.

“I called Berkeley PD and I was like, ‘Hey what’s your experience with your navigation center? We’re thinking of modeling ours after yours because it’s been so successful. What’s been your experience?’” said Police Chief Petersen. “Their analyst [got back to me] a few days later and said that [there was a] low to negligible rise in crime. There was one crime call in that time and that was in response to alarms, which they did not attribute to the homeless population.”

Fremont City Council’s proposed budget for the HNC include $3.7 million in funds from the state of California, $3.2 million in funds from the city of Fremont, and $800,000 in funds from Alameda County.

Construction is expected to last from 8 to 11 months, and the HNC is predicted to be fully functioning by mid-2020.

Friday, October 18, 2019

Page 5

Friday, October 18, 2019 Page 6

STUDENT LIFE QUESTION MAN

By Pralahad Chari Podcast Manager

MILESTONE

The next Quiz Bowl tournament, Cal Classic, will take place in November. It is one of four competitions that Irvington’s Quiz Bowl team will participate in this year.

Wish Upon a Star Is Irvington’s Homecoming Dream

QUESTION: What item would you spend the most money on?

Ananya Choudhury (9)

I would spend the most amount of money on buying my way into Harvard.

Jaylan Mo (10)

I would buy that juicy coffee because it tastes fantastic and keeps me going through that dreadful 8:00 through 3:00 time period.

Achintya Pinninti | Sports Editor Class of 2020 boys pose in front of the bridge and backdrop decorations at Irvington’s 2019 homecoming dance.

By Ashka Patel

Social Media Manager

Drishti Gupta (11)

I would buy this whole school and just glam it up. I want to make it look really nice.

Zainab Haque (12)

I would spend money on stuffed animals so I can suffocate in cuteness. What better way to go than to run out of oxygen while looking at a stuffed giraffe, you know?

SYNAPSIS DISSECTION OPENS UP HEARTS AND NEW OPPORTUNITIES

By Serena Yeh Staff Writer

On October 7th, members of IHS Synapsis, a club that focuses on expanding access to the medical field, gave members an opportunity to dissect sheep hearts and learn more about the cardiovascular system. With experience from last year’s brain dissection under their belt, officers organized a successful event that introduced many prospective biology students to a new experience.

Prior to the dissection, the club officers had to preorder sheep hearts and other tools for their members’ use during the dissection. Since the hearts arrived

later than expected due to a shipping mishap, the dissection had to be postponed one week. However, despite these difficulties, the event ran smoothly.

“I was surprised that so many people were here even though we delayed the dissection by a week,” Darsh Singhania (11), co-president of IHS Synapsis, said.

“Last year we only had 20 people, so 41 is a big improvement.”

The mood in the room was lively as officers of IHS Synapsis passed out gloves, trays, goggles, and one heart per pair of participants. Before the dissection, members watched instructional videos where scientists demonstrated the procedures that needed to be followed during the

Serena Yeh | Staff Writer Tanish Sathish (9) and Ayush Patel (9) examine their sheep heart as co-president Geetika Yelugoti (11) watches.

Irvington saw a record-breaking year with 850+ tickets sold for the fairytale-themed homecoming dance, Wish Upon a Star.

To prepare for the dance, ASG created a committee that specialized in all things related to homecoming. The group voted before the school year began on various themes for the dance including Halloween and Paris, but ultimately chose “Wish Upon a Star.” From there, ASG set to planning various projects for the dance and making any necessary arrangements.

“When you start planning earlier, as we did for the homecoming dance, a lot of logistics get sorted out,” Student Body President Nava Babaei (12) explained.

“For example, by being early, we were able to secure our spot in the gym for a longer time, giving us more time to set up for the dissection. The club officers also showed members a labeled diagram of a heart and provided them with a guide on how to cut the heart so they could see the main parts of it. Armed with preserved sheep hearts and scalpels, participants were let loose to begin dissecting.

Club officers supervised the procedure, instructing students on where to make incisions as well as pointing out specific sections of the heart and telling members how they functioned. After cutting their hearts open, many students stuck their fingers or scalpels through the numerous arteries and veins, imitating where blood would have flowed through.

For most students, this was a special opportunity to get hands-on experience with real organs, instead of studying textbook diagrams and considering, only in theory, how hearts function. This event functioned as a supplement to academic curriculum which could be afforded on the club’s budget versus the limited classroom resources.

“I was expecting to learn more about the structure of the heart by dissect-

dance and make everything look pretty.”

This year, the team mainly focused on creating bigger and more interactive decorations. The entrance showcased a five foot tall white knight, and the main picture-taking spot featured a 3-D backdrop and bridge that students could stand on.

Homecoming dance committee head Jasraj “Raj” Singh (12) stated, “I wanted to continue the Irvington tradition of school spirit during the homecoming week into the homecoming dance, so we really put the time into decorations, making it more big-scale and dramatic.”

These features truly emphasized the fairytale theme, and created a fun environment for attendees. Students enjoyed using the photo booth to print the pictures they took in front of a colorful backdrop.

Read the rest of the article on ihsvoice.com. ing it,” Selina Song (9) said. “It was my first experience dissecting something in a science classroom, so it was actually a really fun learning experience as well.”

Unfortunately, some participants did not cut their hearts correctly. Instead of cutting along a specified line, they cut directly through the middle of the heart: this may have revealed the parts of the heart, allowing students to see inside, but it also damaged the more fragile components of the organ.

“I guess explaining how to do things more [would improve the dissection] because I heard a bunch of people cut from the wrong side, and the video was very different from what happened in real life,” Song mentioned.

This hands-on experience enhanced the participants’ understanding of the heart’s functions, but also provided them with an opportunity to discover new interests. For students that would not be able to experience a dissection elsewhere, the heart dissection created a unique opportunity that could very well open up a new career path for them in the future.

Page 7

Meet Irvington’s New Assis- Passion to Parodies: tant Principal, Mr. Eslami Francesca Baradi

By Andrew Fu Editor-in-Chief

By Joy Kuo

Six years ago, Assistant Principal Adam Eslami taught 7th grade History at Horner Junior High. Today, he’s an Assistant Principal at Horner and Irvington, helping facilitate a smooth transition for freshmen moving into high school.

After teaching History at Horner, Mr. Eslami decided to go back to college and obtain an administrative credential to become an assistant principal.

“I loved that students were getting the education that they needed, but I wanted to affect change beyond what I could do in my classroom,” Eslami said. “I wanted to do more, and I can’t do that unless I get out of the classroom. The next step up is school administration.”

Mr. Eslami spent a year at Brier Elementary as the assistant principal, but because of budget cuts, the school district placed him back in the Irvington district.

At Irvington, Mr. Eslami watches over the freshmen class and English Language Learning department, handling schedule accommodations and behavior. He evaluates teachers by giving them constructive feedback on their teaching and consulting them about classroom needs. At Horner, Mr. Eslami has more responsibilities while managing a smaller group of students compared to Irvington. As the assistant principal, he manages testing, special education, behavior, and parental concerns about the school system. Mr. Eslami spends Mondays and Tuesdays at Horner and the rest of the week at Irvington. Through this schedule, he hopes to smoothen the transition period between junior high and high school and better understand students’ specific needs and accommodations.

While Mr. Eslami enjoys tackling the challenges of administrative duties, he still misses the close knit environment of a classroom.

“I miss interacting with the kids and getting to know them really well,” Eslami said. “I also do miss being able to get home earlier, but I feel like my job is more important now, and I like it. I feel like I can help [students] do more and focus on the ones that need the most help.

Throughout his time as an assis-

Many people from IHS visit YouTube every day, but Francesca Baradi (11) takes it a step further with her YouTube channel, ReptileLegit. She currently has over 408,000 subscribers, and her videos cumulatively have 52,710,020 views. As a gaming enthusiast, Baradi started making content on social media and YouTube in 2014, when she was in elementary school.

She took multiple breaks from it but soon realized that becoming a YouTuber was a dream that she wanted to pursue. In her high school freshman year, Baradi began to create content based around humor, gaming, and music, which has become a major time commitment.

“[Parodies] will take like probably a couple of hours because of how slow my editing software is, but if it’s like meme videos, it will take long as well,” Baradi said about the process of making YouTube videos. “Entertainment videos or comedy videos will take a day or two to edit.”

All of the hours of hard work and creative thinking became apparent when Baradi’s Minecraft parodies on famous pop music blew up and even caught the eye of famous YouTubers including Pewdiepie. The video titled “Despacito 3 (Official Minecraft Parody),” released on July 15, 2018, currently has nearly 16 million views. Some other popular videos of hers are “Juice Wrld - Lucid Dreams (MINECRAFT PARODY) ft. Galaxy Goats” with 6.3 million views and “YNW Melly - Murder On My Mind (MINECRAFT PARODY) ft Minecraft King27” with 4.8 million views.

All of Baradi’s parodies feature music produced by her and are categorized as meme rap, or comedy rap. She also makes lo-fi, hip hop, and her own beats.

“Hopefully one day I’ll be as big as Lil Nas X or something. I definitely want to be as big as those creators and get signed to a [record] label. That’s one of the biggest dreams of mine.”

Because of the attention she has received in the gaming community, nu-

Staff Writer

Andrew Fu | Editor-in-Chief Mr. Eslami spends time between Horner and Irvington, working to smoothen the transition process for the incoming freshman class. tant prin cipal and teacher, Mr. Eslami has noticed students’ unhealthy obsession with grades. He hopes to change that mentality and educate students early on about accepting their mistakes and maturing from their experiences.

“I don’t want kids coming in thinking I have to take every AP on the list,” Eslami said. “I want them to understand that high school is one part of your life, but it does not determine the rest of your life. You could go into a completely different career, you can make a completely different choice; the grade you got in ninth grade doesn’t dictate who you are going to be for the rest of your life. It’s okay to make a mistake, but it’s important to learn from that failure and grow from it.”

Irvington’s large student body may feel daunting to a new assistant principal, but in the hallways, Mr. Eslami occasionally catches glimpses of his former students.

“I can’t always remember their names, but if I look at them hard enough, I can usually recognize their faces. Seeing my students grown up, it’s really amazing.

I’ve seen you guys as little kids, and now I’m seeing you as near adults. It’s like, as a team member of Horner or a team member of Irvington, I played a part in your education, and that’s really special to me.”

ReptileLegit One of Francesca’s fans created a unique piece of fan art for ReptileLegit, which is now her YouTube icon. merous sponsors including Minecraft servers have contacted ReptileLegit to advertise them in return for special privileges like getting top tier in their server. The business aspect of her channel also includes selling her own merchandise and publishing her music on Spotify, Youtube Music, Google Play, and Pandora, etc.

However, there are some downsides to having such a large following, including hate comments. When Baradi was just starting off on YouTube, she was sensitive to haters and deleted malicious comments. As time passed on, Baradi learned to filter out the negativity.

“If you get self-conscious about making your own music or making videos, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there because that’s what Youtube is: putting yourself out there and expressing yourself.

Let’s say people make fun of you at school, so what. There [are] 7 billion people in the world. There’s going to be a lot of people that will like you and your content, so everything’s not made for everyone.”

Even though there were numerous obstacles that she had to face from making YouTube content, Baradi grew as a person and learned life lessons along the way. She discovered her talent and love for music while being able to balance her school work and hobbies. In the future, Baradi hopes to become a dentist but also wants to continue pursuing her passion in music.

Friday, October 18, 2019 Page 8

Irvington Reaches For

the Stars Riya Mhatre

Follow the Humans of Irvington High Facebook Page for their complete stories!

By: Sameeha Salman | Staff Writer “My main instrument is the flute. I have been doing that since eighth grade, but it is really competitive to get into a higher band for flute considering how many flute players there are. So I talked to Mr. Rodda, and was like “I want to get into Wind Ensemble (a higher band) no matter what”. And he recommended that I learn a different instrument, such as the Oboe because it was so uncommon. So the summer of 10th grade, I learned it by my self.

I couldn’t find any Oboe teachers in Fremont, so I bought my own reeds and taught myself how to play the oboe. When I came back to school, I told Mr. Anaya, the Symphonic Band 1 teacher, that I won’t be playing the flute in the band anymore, I will be playing the Oboe. So that is how I played the Oboe.

I definitely see myself playing all my four instruments in the future, the flute, oboe, piano, and piccolo. It is something I want to incorporate into my career, even if it is just a side hobby teaching music part-time. When I was little though, I wanted to be a teacher like most other students. Then I wanted to be an astronaut- in fact, I used to read astronomy books for fun! In high school, however, my career aspiration shifted to becoming a doctor. But then I took AP Chemistry and Biology and realized that it was not for me.

Now I am interested in data science - I am currently taking AP Statistics, and I am loving it!

My parents are actually the ones who wanted me to become a doctor- typical Indian parents. Even now they think that is a better career path for me. But my parents are in the computer science field, which is why I am interested in it too. But overall, they are supportive of whatever I choose. Let’s see how that works out.

Arranged By: Rachel Kavalakatt

Annaka Payne

By: Serena Yeh | Staff Writer “Think about a preschooler trying to draw. Trying to draw a cat, for example. It wouldn’t look like a cat, more like a monster. It wasn’t that great. It was lower than many people’s standards.

Well the thing is, I wasn’t really into art, I just doodled a lot, make comics. But then in that same time I saw other people’s art, and I was like, it’s not that great. My own art kind of went down from that.

My friend in sixth grade taught me how to properly draw animals since I was really into it. Cuz I was drawing little comics during class. So then I progressed further into getting the art classes to try to improve my skills, to get much more branched, to get into different types of art like sculpting for example. When I first made my very complex design, I was actually very, very proud of it because it was one of the longest characters I’ve done. I want to become a character designer because it’s really been a hobby for me because my friend introduced me to art. Yes, I’m in CCA.

When I posted one of my characters when I drew a speedpaint, and it got viral for a bit, and it earned me a lot of followers. I post speedpaints of what I do. I post all my pictures of what I do.

Once I was really down because I didn’t really think that what I was doing was really useful and productive for my time, but then I realized that my friend was right about how I need to just keep on going because I have done things that I thought I never improved on that was really important. Just don’t give up even if you’re saying it yourself you’re just down at the moment but you’re going to improve later on.”

Aaryan Shah

Rohin Puvvada

By: Serena Yeh | Staff Writer I play football and baseball on the school team.If I could, I wanna go to the NFL, but if that doesn’t work out, I would be a lawyer. I started playing because I was just playing with my friends and then after a while I gained real interest. I started learning the rules, then I joined the league. And then I became more fine with it, and now I just love it now.

I remember in my league, 11-14 was the age, and I was 11, the youngest, but I remember it was a playoff game and it was really close, and I got an interception, and that was the reason why we won, and it was a memorable moment.

This last game, the homecoming game, we almost won.

It was just like a few mistakes and we lost. We got two touchdowns and we were leading 12-0 at the end of the half, so we were winning, everything was looking great, until the fourth quarter came. Everyone started getting tired, they got mad, and they started hitting us hard, like they injured a couple people, so our free safety, it’s basically a defensive player, like a back field, they injured him and took him out of the game, so we had to put another person there who didn’t exactly know how to play it. It was like 12-8 and then the free safety, he didn’t do his job correctly. So he came in, and the ball was thrown over his head and they just ran 6 yards for a touchdown, so like one mistake, and that was the reason we lost. ”

By: Kritika Sachar | Web Editor “I’ve seen the boys scout troop and they all wanted to do something good for the community so when I signed up I met a lot of older scouts that taught me the ways of how everything works and what I’m supposed to do to get a rank and to help people. In my project, the first thing that I did was reached out to the Fremont Humane services department. I made a gofundme page and I raised $1300 from that, and so I also talked to people, I talked to stores, as many people as I could and I got as many donations as possible. I also had a door-todoor campaign around my community. The thing about my project is that there’s two parts, the first part was creating these hygiene kits and the second part is the mobile hygiene unit. The mobile hygiene unit is a trailer that has bathrooms and showers and laundromats like laundry machines and dryers that are installed in the actual trailer. And one of the most popular places is the Irvington Restoration Church. I also made 220 hygiene kits, each person that would come would be given a hygiene kit and they would be able to do what they need to do and so in those hygiene kits which had brushes, toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, combs, razors, so this was all from the money that I raised and I purchased it. In total I raised around $1400. I think I got a better experience about how big of a problem this is because I think it is overlooked by people because a lot of people just choose to ignore homelessness because they don’t want to be bothered with it so it helped me understand this problem and how it’s never going to go away and we got to keep trying to do our best to resolve it. “

Friday, October 18, 2019 Page 9

OPINIONS

DISAGREE WITH US?

Submit your Letter to the Editor to Room 84 or through email to ihsvoice@gmail.com for the chance to be featured the next issue!

Dumping Depression with Wellness Centers Irvington plans to open a new wellness center in late October to address students’ mental health, but will it be enough to make a difference? Read two opposing takes on the center’s effectiveness towards students.

Get Well with Wellness Centers

By Will Peng Staff Writer

Irvington is opening a new wellness center by the end of October to improve mental health and help students cope with stress. This is reflective of a 2018 study conducted by Dr. Stuart Slavin on Irvington students, which found that 54% of students showed moderate to severe symptoms of depression and 80% showed moderate to severe symptoms of anxiety. The purpose of the wellness center is to be a place where students can decompress and regather themselves in a comfortable, relaxing environment. The role of the center is to provide destressing, relaxing resources such as hot tea and coloring books. Hopes are that in this way, students can have an on-campus place to go to when they need to decompress. The wellness center, by giving students a haven to fall back upon when overloaded, provides Irvington students with a safe space to alleviate stress and improve mental health. Despite some people saying that the wellness center does not have a wide reach and that it won’t be effective because of Irvington’s toxic academic-focused culture, the wellness center can become an important piece of the solution in the future when more services are implemented, and the center and other services could work together to become the overall solution.

The need for a solution to the widespread mental health problem cannot be ignored, and the establishment of this center, to provide students with a space where students can decompress and gather themselves up before moving on, is a step in the right direction. According to a 2013 study conducted in the United States, students reported that they felt more stress than is healthy, and a comparison between data from adolescents and adults shows that teens feel more stress than adults do.

This is especially applicable to Irvington, where there is a toxic overachieving culture.

Many students take over 3 APs and take on other extracurriculars as well in order to better their college apps.

The center has the potential to become an effective destressing resource for students at Irvington. One key advantage the wellness center has over existing mental health resources is its unique staffing.

The majority of the wellness center’s staff is going to be comprised not of teachers but volunteer students. The nature of this staff may improve the destressing environment of the center. In a 2015 study conducted in the northeast United States, 70% of students cited friends as the greatest source of support. Having fellow students work in the wellness center may have the same effect and help to reduce stress. In any environment, familiarity is a big factor in making

a student feel at home, and seeing peers of the same age group may help to ease the tension of being in a wellness center.

Some argue that the wellness center will not be able to reach many students, but previous examples refute this claim. Irvington’s wellness center is heavily influenced by other high school wellness centers, such as Gunn High’s and Palo Alto High’s, which have been effective in reaching large numbers of students. According to Palo Alto Online, approximately 1,200 out of the 4,000 students that attend Gunn and Palo Alto have received treatment from their wellness centers in the first three months of their existence. Irvington’s wellness center is based on these two centers, so it is reasonable to assume that Irvington’s center is capable of reaching out to just as many people.

Coping with stress is tough, especially without support. For students, knowing that there is a place in the school that they can fall back upon when they need to step away for a moment is critical in allowing Irvington students to have healthy minds. The wellness center could serve as that important fall-back location. It could act as a home base for students and improve the relationship between the student and the school.

While some have argued that the implementation of a wellness center may not be effective at alleviating school-wide mental illness, the point of the wellness center is not to address all mental illnesses, but to relieve students of stress and provide them with a place to relax and take a break from schoolwork. If publicized well and utilized by students, the wellness center could be an important step towards alleviating the school’s widespread mental illness. When more and more mental illness services develop, the wellness center could be amongst the keystones that make up the overall solution.

Geoffrey Zhang | Staff Writer

An Ill-advised Treatment for Mental Health

By Geoffrey Zhang Staff Writer

86% of Irvington students suffer from moderate to severe anxiety. 61% suffer from moderate to severe depression. A recent study conducted during the 20182019 school year by Dr. Stuart Slavin has shown that Irvington High School suffers from a systemic mental health crisis, and our school administration is scrambling to try to find solutions. One of these solutions is a new wellness center, a place where students can destress and seek therapy during school hours. While Irvington’s new wellness center makes strides in addressing mental health problems on campus, its resources fall short in addressing the root causes of the crisis: a lack of mental health interventions that reach the whole school, and the competitive, academics-focused mindset of Irvington students.

The wellness center should be commended for opening up access to mental health resources to students, but it faces many obstacles in reaching the student body. According to the American Institutes for Research, the wellness center is considered a “Tier 2 Intervention” that provides targeted assistance to students who ask or are referred for help. However, the social stigma surrounding mental health prevents most students who need assistance from seeking it out, with a recent study conducted by nonprofit Mental Health America finding that only 28.2% of students suffering from depression seek out aid. In addition, while teachers are encouraged to refer students to the wellness center if they feel something is off, Irvington High School teachers receive zero formal training in mental health. If students are unable to overcome the social stigma surrounding mental health, and if teachers are forced to guess if a student is suffering from a mental breakdown, how will the wellness center

help intervene and prevent a deepening crisis?

Furthermore, if the end goal of these recent initiatives is mental health change at Irvington, no action will be worthwhile unless Irvington’s student culture shifts. Studies by the National Institutes of Health find that school culture is heavily correlated with mental health, and while Irvington High School’s is by no means the worst, it still is flawed. Irvington students have the mindset of taking as many rigorous classes as they can, which forces their counselors to be unwillingly complicit in giving them demanding schedules. Students are often unable to handle these schedules, but are peer pressured into continuing with their classes to boost their chances at getting into a good college.

Broader changes such as curriculum reviews by other teachers and AP class caps are needed to shift Irvington school culture to allow for effective mental health change.

Supporters of the wellness center initiative may cry that any action is better than no action, but these critics fail to look at the broader mental health needs at Irvington. For a more effective mental health program, Irvington school admin should focus their efforts on implementing “Tier 1 interventions” that can reach the whole school. Sure, these interventions may have less depth to them than something a targeted intervention could provide, but they ensure that prevention is the key focus first. Starting with formal teacher training for mental health would allow teachers to more confidently refer students in distress.

Providing universal mental health education instead of a short unit in health will allow students to self-identify symptoms in themselves and their peers. Internal changes such as allowing freshmen and sophomores to take AP classes, but capping the number of APs a student can take in high school would also allow for less stress and depression in students. These broad, preventative actions would shift Irvington’s school culture and ensure that every student and teacher is armed with the necessary resources to react when needed.

And that’s not to say the wellness center has no place at Irvington. An effective mental health intervention program relies on having robust interventions for everyone, from the individual student to the entire student body. But with a lack of effective programs in any type of intervention, the mental health crisis will deepen at any school campus. Current strides taken

by Irvington High School to try to solve the mental health crisis on campus are commended, but more must be done to prevent the problem from occurring in the first place if any solution is to be worthwhile.

Page 10 Friday, October 18, 2019

Mighty Minecraft Makes a Comeback

By Prahalad Chari Broadcast Manager

“Oh my gosh! That was like so last month! Why do you even play [insert game name] anymore?” Sassy comments like these perfectly sum up the nature of most games: they become the most popular thing in the world on Monday and fade away by Sunday. However, life for a select few games does not end there. Introducing the resurgent games, a class of video games that not only instill nostalgia in players but are just too good to let go of. Such games typically experience a decrease in popularity, followed by an even larger surge due to improvements made towards graphics, content, and more. Minecraft is the perfect example of this: after experiencing a steady decrease in popularity from 2013, the game is making an unprecedented comeback in recent months, even becoming one of the most searched games on Google. While Minecraft isn’t the only game that has experienced a revival, out of all the games that “bounced back”, Minecraft is by far the most improved, unique, and popular.

The updates made in Minecraft have improved the game mechanics significantly and have also increased the avenues for creativity, which is very important for a sandbox game. Like most games, Minecraft has constant updates, but unlike its competitors, the quality of these updates revolutionize the game. From update 1.6 in 2013, to update 1.14 in 2019, Minecraft has added a vast array of new features including

more in-game entities, building blocks, biomes, and structures. All of these changed the gameplay entirely, creating more interesting ways to build or beat the game. They enabled players to have more unique goals, made the game more immersive, and along with the new skins and texture packs, made the game more realistic. By consistently releasing better updates, the game developers are able to ensure that the game stays fresh, even after the final boss is defeated.

This, along with Minecraft’s ability to simultaneously have a modern and nostalgic vibe is another reason it is the best resurgent video game. Other long-lasting games like the Pokemon games (with the exception of Pokemon Go) offer very little variety within the game. As the games were released, they became more modern and lost their “retro” appeal: the 8-bit, 2-D characters were gone, and replaced with a highly modern animation style like in Pokemon Go. The possibilities in those games are hugely limited unlike in Minecraft where mods (free downloadable game modifications) and texture packs provide limitless new things to try out. You have the ability to change almost everything, including the graphics, which you can’t do in any other resurgent game.Many of the firstperson shooter (FPS) games, resurgent or not, tend to have erratic spikes in popularity that then die down quickly. For example, Call of Duty was never able to fully recover from its dip in popularity because of the various similar, newer games released in rapid succession. That is the main issue

with FPS; nothing is ever really unique.

Even Fortnite, a game that had unprecedented popularity, has died down recently, becoming less popular than Minecraft. The only game that could potentially be similar to Minecraft is Roblox, which doesn’t even offer a solo-play mode, unlike Minecraft which allows for both solo and multiplayer gaming. Avid Nintendo fans may argue that the revamped Super Smash Bros Ultimate from the Smash Bros franchise is the better game because of the changes to in-game mechanics and combos, which force players to create new game strategies. While gamers will have to change their strategies, it will only be a one-time, and rather easy change to do. Minecraft has more expansive and frequent updates, which ensures

Bad Traffic? Let’s Make it Worse

By Darsh Singhania Staff Writer

As more and more companies relocate to Silicon Valley, cities such as San Jose, San Francisco, and Palo Alto have become more expensive due to increasing job opportunities and a growing population.

This forces towns like Fremont to expand their residential areas, creating additional rolling suburbs and neighborhoods. The increased housing developments near the Warm Springs BART Station are the most recent reminder of this fact. Construction around the area will create a negative impact on the people and communities near it by increasing traffic throughout the city.

Every teenager knows the constant struggle of getting enough sleep while getting to school on time, and the housing

developments will increase commute time by adding more cars and pedestrians to Fremont’s crowded streets. According to the Nationwide Children’s Hospital, adolescents need nine and a half hours of sleep, but this rarely happens in high school. Insteadm as children get older, school starts earlier and the workload gets heavier, cutting down the amount of sleep they get.

This problem is massively compounded by traffic congestion in the morning. Longer commute times, even five to ten-minute delays, significantly hurt people’s sleep cycles and increase stress in the morning, reducing the restorative powers of sleep.

The housing development only makes this worse. Construction around South Grimmer Avenue has created significant intrusions into the street as large vehicles take up entire lanes and blockades cordon off

sections of the road. This pushes cars into just one lane, creating a massive backlog of cars that cuts off several intersections and creates a complete halt to all movement further back on South Grimmer. This makes life significantly more difficult for students going from Weibel to Irvington High or Horner in the mornings and forces all other drivers to take the Automall freeway exit, causing congestions and backlogs there too. The new housing developments near Warm Springs BART would exacerbate this problem, bringing more cars and pedestrians to the already crowded streets.

Construction will not be the only source of congestion. Over the next few years, Lennar Construction hopes to create hundreds of townhouses as well as a new elementary school, Lila Bringhurst Elementary. This will increase the number of

that the players will constantly have something new to play with. Additionally, Super Smash Bros Ultimate is only available on the Nintendo Switch, whereas Minecraft is available on a variety of consoles from PCs, to tablets, to the Xbox. Thus, it also is a more accessible game, allowing a larger audience to enjoy the game.

In a fast-paced and ever-changing game environment, many games tend to appear identical after a while. It is in this desert of boredom that the oasis that is Minecraft materializes. It’s adaptability, novelty, and modifiability provide a muchneeded respite from the endless, monotony of other games, and the stream of constant updates quench a gamer’s thirst for a new adventure.

students that attend Horner Jr. High and Irvington, as there are no plans to build more junior high and high schools. Proponents of the housing development assert that the new school will relieve pressure from Warm Springs and Weibel, decreasing the distance parents have to travel to drop off kids in the morning and helping both students and parents with sleep and time management. However, these students will be moving into to Horner and Irvington in the future, meaning there will still be significant traffic on South Grimmer because these houses are built in this location. Furthermore, this elementary school and the new townhouse units will increase the number of people moving to Fremont, meaning that the population will continue to grow and overstrain the junior and high schools in the area.

Friday, October 18, 2019

The Depreciation of Appreciation

Don’t Cut the Budget

By Rory Conlon

HuffPost With streaming services, millions of hours of entertainment are available in seconds

By Justin Kim Copy Editor

With the immense boom in recent years, streaming services have overtaken cable TV as the primary source of entertainment. Convenient and fast services like Netflix drop entire seasons for eager fans to binge-watch. Everyone has binged something, whether it be Stranger Things, The Umbrella Academy, or 13 Reasons Why. However, while Netflix subscribers enjoy access to entire seasons all at once, it narrows the enjoyment of the show down to a single streamlined watch. The short attention span of our generation leads us to seek out quick entertainment and the feeling of closure, which Netflix takes advantage of by dropping ready-to-binge content. When was the last time you were left with the suspense of a cliffhanger in the middle of a show and had to wait a week to find out what happens next? When was the last time you thought to yourself “that was a really good episode” instead of “that was a good show”? Suspense and impactful moments are completely removed with the new binge-watching format, providing quick resolutions and short term enjoyment, while harming long term appreciation. This accommodation of binge-available content comes with the price of our enjoyment and lack of appreciation for shows that deserve to be put in the spotlight but are instead tossed to the side quickly.

Binge culture encourages viewers to watch an entire season all at once, disregarding any moments that deserve a pause and thought to fully appreciate and enjoy. Shows like The Umbrella Academy have a myriad of small moments that deserve individual attention, yet no one stops to do so. Binge-watching has normalized the expendability of entertainment, making these shows an object to enjoy then throw away afterward. While it does give viewers a choice to watch at their own pace, many usually binge-watch the entire season to avoid spoilers and because the act itself is highly addictive: research shows that binge-watching has the same effect on people as some drugs. This is doing a massive disservice to the creators and actors that all play a part in creating the show to be meaningful. Stranger Things, for example, has never been appreciated for a single episode across all of its seasons. Instead, the 824,000 viewers that watched season three on the first day it was released and the 12.8 million viewers who watched it within four days just saw the season as another

good watch. Usually, the hype is only present when the season airs. But as time goes on, many people are just left waiting for the next season to arrive just to have something to talk about again.

Compare this to shows that have weekly releases. Cliffhangers, plot twists, and surprises aren’t resolved right away as you need to wait a week to see what happens next. Take for example Demon Slayer. The show has a weekly release of episodes that allow viewers to have a week in between to discuss, speculate, and appreciate the week’s episode; all of this giving meaningful impact to what happened in the episode and allowing us to find the entire viewing experience much more enjoyable and fulfilling rather than being a mindless watch.

Episode 19 received so much attention that it trended worldwide on Twitter; this is especially impressive as Demon Slayer is an anime, which rarely breaks out of the relatively small community of viewers. The author (the show is an adaptation of a manga of the same title) even wrote a notice saying that she cried after watching the episode air and seeing the enjoyment it brought to all of its viewers. The episode struck a chord across the world, creating a lasting impression of the show that would not have existed otherwise if the show released its entire season all at once. And what greater appreciation of a show could viewers express to the creators than to unanimously point towards a single episode and call it a masterpiece.

Binge culture has made it much harder to appreciate what made entertainment so great in the first place. Great acting, music, cinematography, and emotional weight all add to the overall enjoyment of a show. With the high-speed binge culture that is omnipresent today, it is hard to grasp this type of enjoyment anymore, quickly making the efforts of the creators of the show seem meaningless. Creators spend years trying to perfect a show and make their vision a reality. However, binge culture makes all of their efforts go to waste.

Sure, hundreds of thousands of people are watching something that they created. Yet these hundreds of thousands will not understand their vision or view their show as a work of art. Instead, it is just another show in the sea of many. With everything in the world growing increasingly fast, to the point where the appreciation of art and entertainment is now being mainstreamed to be quick and disposable, we should consider slowing down once in a while to appreciate what we are given.

Page 11

Student Life Editor As reported by The Voice last June, the Fremont School District made 12.86 million dollars worth of budget cuts in order to maintain the reserve funds required by the California Education Code and contend with increasing costs for several programs under their jurisdiction. Last year, the District passed resolutions that suspended school bus operation, eliminated some non-essential district positions, and increased elementary class sizes from 24 students to 28 students. However, for the 2019-2020 school year, the district has made several other recommendations, namely regarding cuts to teacher pensions and discretionary spending amidst rising special education costs. Though money devoted to special education programs and discretionary spending should be maintained by the district, a modified teacher pension program and textbook adoption program is needed to supplement costs.

Ultimately, the special education program is essential because it provides a free, public service to many students struggling with a wide range of mental, emotional, and learning disorders. However, according to Understanding Special Education, only 15% of the needed money to uphold the basic goals addressed in the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) is being supplied by Congress.

Thus, much of the financial burden falls to school districts themselves. The wide misconception is that the special education program only includes special day classes.

In reality, it provides assistance to many students through multiple professionals, one example being the speech therapist on the Irvington campus. Additionally, it also allows students to be observed and diagnosed with disabilities, plotting a path forward for them through the means of an IEP Plan. Providing this funding secures a basic right that the district should prioritize, namely that all students should be given the means to reap the full benefits of their public education.

Discretionary spending, defined as an optional financial resource provided to cover “supplies and services,” is needed to provide financial support for teachers and quality educational experiences for students. Currently, the issue is with

Recently, the College Board announced the development of a new measure of student success: the Adversity Score, one calculated based on the neighborhood environment (which takes into account the poverty rate and the crime rate within a given area), family environment (income, education level, whether or not an ESL student), and high school environment (free lunch rate, A.P. opportunity, etc.) surrounding a student. Ultimately, though SAT Adversity Scores are based on fair principles, they need to be released to the public and perfected before they should be seriously considered by colleges.

The Adversity Score may produce unreliable results. Students who are undermatched with universities, or students who attend universities that do not sufficiently challenge their abilities due to socioeco-

the recommended allocation of money amongst schools in the district: schools with larger populations are given larger amounts of funding at the expense of schools with smaller populations. While it may seem reasonable to provide more resources to offset larger populations, the methodology sets a dangerous precedent.

Not only are students at smaller schools being given less resources, creating inequity within the district, but these smaller schools are also suffering from a lack of representation due to a smaller amount of teachers and parents at the district level.

Though the pension program exists to reward teachers for their services and recruit new teachers to schools, the way in which pensions are calculated is outdated and should be adapted to the changing economy. The current flaws are in no way surprising. According to Ed100, a teacher resource, the program was last revised in the 1990s, to provide a greater amount of benefits earlier in an educator’s career.

However, in the decades since, social trends have shifted: teachers are retiring later, and California still lives in the wake of the 2008-2009 economic recession. Thus, modifying the pension system is necessary and needs to balance two concerns: keeping teachers with FUSD while beginning to close the gap in funding. This can be done by deducting a reasonable—albeit, larger— amount of money from teachers’ salaries and applying it towards their pensions.

A more favorable way of cutting the budget would be to freeze textbook adoption to make up the deficit. Though it is important to improve curriculum, the large overhaul of textbooks is not always ideal or fiscally sustainable. On an individual level, teachers lay a greater premium on fine-tuning curriculum to teach it more effectively: students do not always connect with provided textbooks, and the reformed curriculum may not teach concepts as well.

Also, textbooks may not see the light of day over the course of a school year. For example, English teachers draw from a uniform set of classics for their reading material; Science teachers rely on both newer and older versions of books to fully cover material; and Math has successfully pivoted to address the needs of common core with the adoption of Big Ideas Math textbooks.

Want to keep reading? Visit IHSVoice.com.

Page 10

D a i l y D ist r es s es

Friday, October 28, 2019

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Bac School E ver y da y Essentials

Arranged by: Nikoo A Mishra | Feat

Contributers: Alice Shu, Geetika Mahaj Sachar, Megan Dhingra, Rache

Irvington

Friday, October 18, 2019

ce

Page 11

T i m e l i n es o f T r aged y

n’t one g opteer em, 2)

how it’s what 11)

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ach m inere to a (12)

Student Stereotypes

Flexing new car keys (30%)

Saying “sksksk” (20%)

VSCO girls (20%)

Slightly less annoying than freshmen (10%)

Short for no reason (25%)

ck to Basics

Think they’re cool because they’re “upperclassmen”(30%)

Freaking out about CHANGE (35%)

Complaining about not being able to take AP Bio (30%)

Alizadeh and Vidushee tures Editors

jan, Geoffrey Zhang, Kelly Feng, Kritika el Kavalakatt, Shivangi Gupta

Senioritis (40%)

Grinding (30%)

Always dead because of the workload (45%)

No social life (25%)

College Apps (40%)

Nostalgia because it’s the last year of high school (20%)

T y p e s o f T e ac h er s Two seconds from retirement :

U n c o v er ed

This teacher exudes more “done with this” energ y than the entire senior class during the spring. They’ve already got their one-bedroom apartment in Hawaii or Cabo, and can usually be found meticulously organizing their Pinterest travel boards and showing students pictures of their childrens’ weddings while their tired TAs grade paper after paper. They are also obsessed with potlucks- you can count on having at least one per month. But don’t be fooled by how easy their class seems because you can always count on them to screw you over on the test.

The new kid:

this particular There’s been a rise in rs over the past few che tea of s cie spe sub ibly a good thing years, which is ostens t there are more tha ans because that me take. The only can classes that students rs like these, though, che tea h wit m ble pro rn anything. However, is that you barely lea m from trying to the p this doesn’t sto “engaging” which make things “fun” and t, they’ll ask a quesfirs t tha ans me ally usu s it with the person tion, then you’ll discus n you’ll show the the , you sitting next to it. class how to answer

The uptight AP teacher:

Most of us still have PTSD from this teacher, and we’ll continue to have nightmares about forgetting to study for one of their tests for years after we’ve graduated. They have one or two “favorites” that they always rendezvous with during lunch, where they gossip about how to make everyone else in the class feel completely illiterate so that they can boost their own self esteems. If you’re not selected as one of the favorites, the only other option is to conduct Ph.D level research in that subject and pray that you’ll slip by with a B.

Page 14

Friday, October 18, 2019

Friday, October 18, 2019 Page 15

ENTERTAINMENT

By Andrew Fu

DIRECT FROM THE EDITOR

Just a reminder-- Joker is an R rated film. If you are under the age of 17, please remember to obtain parental consent and be accompanied by an adult to theaters to watch it!

Joker: No Laughing Matter

Editor in Chief

Joker, directed by Todd Phillips and starring Joaquin Phoenix as the titular character, presents an alternate backstory to the quintessential DC Comics villain, telling the story of a mentally-ill man named Arthur Fleck who struggles to survive in a city overrun by corrupt public officials. The movie was released on October 4th in the United States but was preceded by an early screening at the Vienna International Film Festival, where it won the Golden Lion award. Walking into this movie, I was not expecting to enjoy it. The trailer looked eerie and depressing. Reports of police going undercover in movie theaters to prevent potential violence caused by this movie didn’t comfort me in the slightest. And surely enough, when I went to see the movie on Saturday, there were four cop cars parked at the theater. Yikes.

The movie starts out slow and bleak. The audience is introduced to Fleck’s debilitating mental illnesses— besides a shaky moral conscience, he has Pseudobulbar Affect (PBA) and laughs uncontrollably at inopportune times. After a shocking incident on a subway train, Arthur experiences his first taste of power, and things take a turn from there. The movie has a really cool way of portraying Arthur’s mental state— whenever he gets angry, anxious, or excited, loud rhythmic music pounds against your ear. Not only does it build up tension, but you get a clear idea about how the character is feeling, as if you were inside his head.

In addition, the movie explores the idea of Fleck being an unreliable narrator: there are parts in the movie where you realize after a scene that you were watching a fantasy. It kind of makes you wonder whether the entire movie was all an elaborate dream in Fleck’s head.

Did I mention the movie was Rat-

Justin Kim | Copy Editor If there was a way to torture me with movies, it would be forcing me to watch this one on repeat. ed R? I watched this movie with one hand over my eyes and one over my mouth. The violence in this film is taken onto a whole other level. Maybe I’m too used to watching Marvel movies where the worst thing to happen is a computer generated alien getting an axe to the chest, with no blood or gore, but the Joker movie is really heavy on violence. A guy gets stabbed in the eye and throat with a pair of scissors and his head is repeatedly bashed against a wall. Even when I shut my eyes, the sound effects of mashed brains and screaming still got to me. Looking back, I have no idea how the twelve year old kid and his mom sitting next

Her Identity: Know My Name

By Rachel Kavalakatt

The Addams Family Returns in a Mostly Kooky Reboot

By Geetika Mahajan

Humans of Irvington High Editor

Chanel Miller shares the traumatizing experience that she went through in her nonfiction memoir, Know My Name, published on September 24, 2019. Throughout the book, as she details the story of her sexual assault, the ensuing long trial and challenging court case, and the aftermath of piecing together the broken fragments of her normal life following the experience, Miller reveals to the world a crucial missing piece of the story: her name.

Four years ago, when her assault occurred, she chose to remain the anonymous victim in the 2016 trial of Stanford swimmer Brock Turner. She brought her story to light through an unidentifiable alias, Emily Doe, who held the hearts of millions and followed the ruthless, lengthy court case while Miller stayed hidden from the spotlight, a backstage director of a powerful and moving production. However, with the release of her memoir, Miller truly takes back her life and redefines her self worth through the striking pages of the book. The novel captivates readers from the opening, which details the confusion and fear that ran through her head when she woke up naked near a trash can after a frat party. She describes all the events that surrounded the assault from her own point of view, allowing readers to get a glimpse into the internal monologue that was going through her head throughout every step of the incident, hospitalization, and the court proceedings that followed.

I was stunned at how unflinchingly raw and honest her story was. How real and true each word and chapter began, and how it continued to get more human as each chapter culminated. Miller writes in a very direct and forward style, without an instance of beating around the bush in the novel. Although I expected the story to shed light on the taboo issue of sexual assault, the book did so much more, chronicling the difficult story of recovery and survival unique to sexual assault survivors.

By placing a focus on a victim’s

to me made it through the movie without a sound. When the credits started rolling, I bolted out of the theater. No end credits scenes for me—I was done. It wasn’t until I had walked out of the theater that I felt the cold sweat breaking across my body.

Is the movie enjoyable? No, and personally, I don’t see how it could be enjoyable to anyone by the very definition of the word: something being pleasant or entertaining to watch. The movie isn’t pleasing to the eyes in terms of visuals or action sequences—the whole film is shot in a bleary, rotting town. The action is heavy in gore and violence. The best thing you

Staff Writer

The New Yorker Chanel Miller comes forward in a truthfull memoir, redefining the role of a victim of sexual assault. struggle to navigate a difficult trial that constantly questions the validity of her truth and motives, readers are confronted with the utter lack of empathy that characterizes our justice system. Wrestling with being cooperative with the court proceedings and being angry with the inadequacies of the legal proceedings, Miller puts into words the unspoken challenges sexual assault survivors face. The book showcases the victim’s often overlooked perspective in sexual assault and rape cases, and highlights a paradox that every victim faces when they decide to seek justice: trying to return to life as usual and move on from the incident, while simultaneously trying to remember and relive every moment of that night to present a compelling case against Turner.

What makes Know My Name so powerful is it’s extraordinary attention to detail, to which the author paints a realistic, painful, and accurate account of the effects of sexual assault. Writing a story that everyone should read, mostly for those who are interested in politics, Miller does not use a fake alias, a pseudonym, or a pen name this time around. Rather, she claims her story and voices the truth with her name branded on the cover.

see in the whole movie is a fancy bathroom in a theater for upper class folks, but even that gets ruined by hostile character interactions. Even Joker’s grand entrance near the end of the movie doesn’t feel welcome— you get a sick feeling in your stomach that something bad is going to happen. Joker isn’t bad per se—it’s masterfully filmed and uses different styles of music and camera shots to portray a character’s emotional state. It won the Golden Lion award for a reason. But the movie isn’t enjoyable to watch.

Critics have called the movie potentially dangerous, pointing out that it humanizes mass shooters and terrorists and could inspire mentally-ill people to commit violent crimes. Call me insensitive, but I lost all sympathy for Fleck after his first violent act.

I don’t think most people will identify with the Joker, because it’s pretty obvious to a mentally healthy person that you shouldn’t shoot people on live TV or stab people with scissors. There are parts of the movie that sort of “glorify” the Joker’s anarchy by playing heroic, grand music during scenes of chaos and violence, but I don’t think the movie’s advocating that type of behavior to be okay. The music illustrates that the anarchy feels grand to Arthur Fleck. As the audience, you’re supposed to feel disgust, and I feel the movie accomplished that.

You can’t talk about the Joker movie without bringing up all the others.

I haven’t seen every single version put to film, but I think Phoenix’s Joker is very different from the rest in that he doesn’t have a Batman to fight. He’s on his own and he’s telling the story, and in terms of acting, Phoenix did an amazing job. In terms of enjoyability, I’d rate this movie a 1 out of 5, but in terms of production quality and effort, Joker deserves a solid 5 for its amazing camera work, soundtrack, and casting.

October 11th marked the release of The Addams Family, an animated take on the classic comic, starring the voices of Charlize Theoron, Chloe Grace Moretz, and Finn Wolfhard. The show follows Gomez, Morticia, Wednesday, Pugsley and Uncle Fester as they square off against a reality television show host. The family is comfortable with their style of living- though it may horrify everyone else in their neighborhood. They are preparing for a visit from their extended family to celebrate Pugsley’s “sabre mazurka,” a rite of passage that marks the transition from boy to man in the Addams family. Meanwhile, Wednesday struggles with growing up, terrifying her mother with her newfound love of pink barrettes and malls. As the family grapples with the changes that occur as their children get older, their neighbor constructs a fake neighborhood to be used for a reality TV program- and is angered that the family’s eccentric way of living will destroy her dreams of reality TV stardom.

In the past, movies about the Addams family have had a sort of “dark humor but in a kid friendly way,” which has made them appealing to audiences of all ages. Seeing that this remake is animated, I thought it would be interesting to see how the creators would change the format for even younger children. Studios that produce animated movies have a set formula for producing said movies— they first create a set of quirky protagonists struggling with fitting in with society. Next, they add in some jokes that are only funny for people forty-eight inches or under. Sprinkle in a little bit of glaringly obvious political commentary, and voila! A guaranteed blockbuster. It seems that studios are incapable of making a movie that does not allude to Donald Trump’s presidency and/or the fact that cell phones are ruining society. ` Though The Addams Family does little to break the mold, it is definitely better than some of the other garbage that animation studios are churning out (I’m look-

ing at you, Trolls). Perhaps it was a sense of nostalgia that drew me to the movie, but it was funny, in a cynical sort of way. Snickers were heard throughout the theater when a group of students sang, “Why would you be yourself when you could be like everyone else?” The political subtext is by no means subtle— I mean, come on, a reality TV star with ugly hair who wants the Addams’ to leave the city because they’re different?- but it does a good job of executing this theme in a way that does not feel overly forced. In all, it’s a good movie to watch on Netflix when you’re bored, but it’s not worth the time or money to view it in a theater- unless you find yourself with a bunch of third graders and a lot of free time.

IMDB The beloved characters in The Addams Family return in the 2019 remake, with a fresh, new, animated look.

Page 16

A Little Undeveloped with Lilly Singh

Friday , October 18, 2019

Fremont Welcomes a New Hot Pot Restaurant

zhangfeihotpot.com

By Anushka Nair Staff Writer tubefilter.com Singh is seen here in a promotional poster for her new show

By Serena Yeh Staff Writer

The new late night talk show, “A Little Late with Lilly Singh,” breaks many stereotypes of the usual shows. Lilly Singh, also known as Superwoman on YouTube, livened up the 1:35 A.M. time slot with her infectious personality, but fell short when it came to comedic content. Her show premiered on September 16th, taking over Carson Daly’s previous show “Last Call with Carson Daly.”

“A Little Late with Lilly Singh” is structured like most late night shows: a comedic sketch to start off, an opening monologue based around a certain topic, then finally some celebrity interviews with games on the side. While the show starts off somewhat normal, its differences begin to appear as time progresses when it comes to content.

James Corden does Carpool Karaoke, Jimmy Fallon does Lip Sync Battles, and Conan hosts the audiency awards.

However, Singh performs more comedy sketches and plays unamusing games with her interviewees. Singh made it clear that she would not mention any politics in her show unlike most late night shows, like “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” and “Late Night with Seth Meyers.” Singh aims to center her show on entertainment, which is a result of it not being filmed the same day as the episode airs. Because of this, Singh includes jokes that may have been relevant a few months ago, but are awkward to include now. Instead of making a joke on more recent issues, Singh attempts to revive events that most people have forgotten about and are uninterested in. This is most pronounced during an episode air-

ing in late September when Singh made a joke about Jussie Smollett, who was in the news last February.

In the middle of celebrity interviews, Singh played a few original but bland games with celebrities including “What’s the Word?,” where she had Kaling guess a trending word given the definition. Another game was called “Turtle Pepperoni”, where Thompson and Singh guessed the original word that was changed in a sentence.

Although these games were technically unique, they were not as engaging or funny as other late night shows’ games, like Jimmy Fallon’s Wheel of Impressions or James Corden’s Flinch.

Singh’s energy is very contagious, but almost to a fault, with it seeming somewhat forced and over the top. Singh has been on YouTube for about 9 years, and over time, she has become less and less relevant. Although her scripted segments were funny on her channel, the new segments on the show do not resemble her original content. Her sketches and games are cringeworthy rather than comedic due to Singh’s tendency to exaggerate actions and jokes. Some of the content needs more time to develop, but hopefully her show will be able to mature over time. I don’t particularly recommend watching this show for people looking for a new series to binge watch. The fact that the host is Lilly Singh does little to conceal the blandness of the jokes and guests, resulting in a boring show irregardless with your previous watching experience with Singh.

Ad Astra Travels Deep Into the Abstract Zone

By Will Peng Staff Writer

Ad Astra joins Interstellar and Gravity in the pantheon of realistic sci-fi. Ad Astra is a sci-fi adventure movie directed by James Gray and starring Brad Pitt, Tommy Lee Jones, Ruth Negga, and Donald Sutherland.

Taking place in the near future, it tells the story of an astronaut, Roy McBride (Pitt), who is sent on a mission to find out what happened to his father, Clifford (Jones).

His father was sent out on an expedition to the outside of the solar system, and his experiment is believed to be what is causing the electric flares threatening the solar system. The film was released to theaters on September 20, 2019, with somewhat of a success at the box office.

Is this movie good? It’s certainly not for people who want a thrill. The trailers may make it look like Ad Astra is a scifi action thriller, but it’s not. Ad Astra has some action scenes, but they aren’t the focal point of the movie. It’s really more for people who like to watch movies that delve deep into abstract concepts and human nature. In particular, this movie explores the concepts of isolation and whether or not the pursuit of knowledge is worth it. Brad Pitt’s character is introduced as someone who is exceptional at his job but lacks meaningful relationships with his wife, his father, or anyone. The film shows him struggling with the question of whether or not his ambitious quest to follow his father’s footsteps is worth sacrificing his relationships

at home. Gray does an excellent job of conveying the sense of loneliness he feels due to this struggle. His use of deep space visuals gives you the sense an astronaut feels about being in space, where it’s empty and hostile. The eerie soundtrack of this movie contributes to this tone too; it doesn’t stand out and it’s subtle, but it conveys a sense of strangeness and unfamiliarity. Brad Pitt and Tommy Lee Jones both have strong performances and are great at getting the audience to feel what their characters feel, again conveying the mood of the movie.

A strong aspect of this movie is its realism. The movie depicts a realistic version of futuristic space travel, and so the spacecrafts that Pitt’s character travels in don’t feel like a “home base.” Instead, there’s still a real sense of danger, like in real life spacecraft. There’s not a place where Pitt’s character feels absolutely safe.

Another strong aspect is the worldbuilding.

It adds a layer of depth to the movie and makes the setting much more interesting.

Its depiction of human commercialization in space is uncanny and follows the current trend of capitalism on Earth.

Overall, this movie is worth a watch for those who are looking for a thoughtful movie. Ad Astra is great in that it takes a deep dive into human nature, and in that sense, it’s a really good movie.

If you’re bored easily, don’t watch it. If you want to see a realistic depiction of the future, this is a great watch.

Despite the abundance of hot pot restaurants already in Fremont, Zhangfei Hot Pot, a restaurant that serves a Chinese style hot pot, located in Pacific Commons, is a welcome addition. The eatery opened in August of this year, serving the boiled delicacy every day from 11:30 A.M. to 2:30 P.M. and 5:30 to 9:30 P.M. except Tuesday.

Hot pot is an East Asian dish in which people can simmer selected meats, vegetables, rice, and noodles into a warm soup or broth.

In recent years, communal hot pot has become trendy in the West and is a staple dish in many Asian restaurants. Initially, I expected the restaurant to be very similar to other hot pot restaurants in terms of the menu and service.

Zhangfei Hot Pot’s menu is a fairly basic and well-structured menu. Most of the menu attempts to break down the contents of the hot pot into different categories to make it easier for customers to customize their hot pot. The menu is divided into the hot pot soup base, meat, seafood, vegetables, rice, tofu, noodles, chef’s recommendations, and drinks. For $13.99, customers can pick a soup base, rice, noodles, up to four vegetables, and two types of meat. My waiter recommended that I should create my own hot pot for this price so I ordered the spicy soup base with chicken, tong ho (a leafy vegetable common in Asian dishes), cabbage, tofu, brown rice, noodles, winter melon, and cucumber.

The small hot pot I ordered was

delicious, but I did feel it was quite similar to hot pots that I’ve tried at other restaurants. The spicy soup base consisted mostly of soy sauce and chili flakes and was much spicier than I expected it to be. I expected the tofu and chicken to be bland but they had a fair amount of salt and took on a good amount of flavor from the broth. The winter melon and cabbage were somewhat neutral but they were balanced out by the soup. The tong ho was my least favorite part of the meal because it was chewy and oily. Roasted papaya and peanuts were also provided, delicious and crunchy additions to the hot pot, adding a welcome layer of complexity. The restaurant had great service and the food only took about 10 minutes to arrive which is much faster than most others.

Zhangfei is a compact restaurant that fits about a maximum of 50 people and is very cozy and inviting. The price of the hot pot is about the same or somewhat less than other restaurants in the area. I would consider the food to be worth the price. There are plants scattered as decorations which give it a more natural vibe and enhances the experience for customers.

Overall I would rate the restaurant a four out of five because although the food and vibe were great, the restaurant was quite similar to other hot pot places in Fremont and didn’t stick out. The food was super delicious and the prices are fair. I recommend this restaurant to anyone looking for a new hot pot place to eat at.

Friday, October 18, 2019 Page 17

Judy is a Must Watch Biopic

Daily Express Left: Judy Garland; Right: Rennee Zellweger

By Shivangi Gupta Staff Writer

Judy, the biopic of Judy Garland, one of the most influential and prominent American actresses, hit theatres across America on September 27, 2019. Directed

by Rupert Goold, the artistic director of Headlong Theatre Company, and starring Renee Zellweger as the namesake performer, the film depicts the stark contrast between the mistreatment and theatrical pressures Garland faced as a child and the intimacy and love she shared with her own children later in life.

The film starts off with Judy and her two young children, Lorna (Bella Ramsey) and Joe (Lewin Lloyd), performing at a local show for the mere payment of $150, immediately underscoring the financial losses that Garland was facing in her adulthood. The film then presents the social issues that Garland had faced in her lifetime because of her five failed marriages. It presents her struggles as a single mom and a not-so-famous actress in a chronological manner, with occasional flashbacks to her rough childhood. The flashbacks themselves portray the stress and disordered eating she faced to physically fit her character, Dorothy, in The Wizard of Oz, an underweight girl with an exceptionally low diet-intake.

The film highlights Garland’s tough decision between choosing to stay with her son and daughter in America, or pursuing a famous career abroad in London, where her reputation as an actress is more profound and prevalent. It also emphasizes the custody battle she was facing at the time and the constant issue of having nowhere to sleep at night after local shows.

While the film does a great job portraying the horrendous reality of being a famous child actress, it ineffectively connects her

once elevated status to Americans no longer finding her talent and acting skills useful years later. In another distracting and unrealistic manner, Zellweger excessively twitches and shakes when she’s taking the drugs that Garland consumed to placate her diet. Her overbearing emotional and physical distress distracts from the characters around her and the significance of several parts of the plot, and instead highlights Garland’s drug abuse. On the other hand, Rosalyn Wilder, played by Jessie Buckley, is Garland’s personal assistant in London.

Buckley’s acting mirrors real-life Ms. Wilder as she was able to not only seem strict,\ but also maternalistic and caring towards Garland, who she empathized with.

In contrast, the dark aspects of Garland’s life are balanced out with more light-hearted and joyous scenes that are scattered throughout the film: partying with her best friend in L.A., getting drunk with her soon-to-be husband, going on shopping sprees in London, spending leisure time with her children.

Judy relates the pressure people often feel from their closest loved ones while emphasizing the importance of pursuing your dreams to the fullest. The film also includes two of Garland’s hit songs, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and The “Trolley Song”, which depict the innocence and bubbliness Judy had in her youth.

Ultimately, Judy succeeds in contextualizing Garland’s abusive childhood and her struggle to find a suitable, compatible love interest in terms of the bigger picture. While it does lack in making clear a connection as to how Garland’s fame diminished in America, it effectively highlights paramount aspects of her life, namely her redemption tour in England and her constant hope in finding a good home for herself and her two children.

The Cauldron: Not Worth the Scoop

By Darsh Singhania Staff Writer

The Cauldron, an ice cream parlor with interesting flavors, cones, and ice cream design, started out as a small shop in a backyard in Orange County. In the last five years, it has expanded internationally, and a new location recently opened on 1088 E Brokaw Road in San Jose.

As I walked in, the modern logo design and the upscale location made me excited to try the ice cream. The restaurant invoked both modern and retro styles, with bright teal highlights, exposed silver piping, and clean wooden tables. The employees made the ice cream from scratch right in front of me, using dry ice to cool down the cream, which emitted vapor and smoke across the counter. After creating the main mass of ice cream, the employee then added in Oreos and cinnamon. This process highlighted the main focus of the Cauldron and its menu gimmicks: futuristic yet retro.

The smoke from the dry ice reflected on the neon lights above the silver pipes used to ventilate and hydrate the counter.

Altogether, this parlor seemed gourmet upon first entering the shop, the actual dessert did not live up to this image.

The menu contained many unique flavor combinations, put alongside eye-catching names like ‘Sun, Moon, and Stars’ made with three tea flavors, and ‘The Cauldron’ consisting of vanilla, cinnamon, and Oreos.

The main gimmicks of the restaurant are

the Puffle cone and the rose-shaped ice cream. The Puffle is made of a combination of egg puff dough and waffle batter, which is then griddled in a specific iron until golden brown, hot, and crispy. I ordered The Cauldron on a red velvet Puffle cone with a rose pattern, as this order represented both the gourmet nature of the dish and the signature flavor of the ice cream shop. The experience of watching the ice cream being made from scratch was impressive; however, the taste left much to be desired. The vanilla ice cream was overly milky, with no unique flavor, causing it to be bland and difficult to eat. The texture was also not smooth, likely because it was made by the employees from scratch, and parts of the scoop were thicker than other sections.

The Oreos on top were the only flavorful element of the ice cream, adding sweetness and a crunchy texture to break up the onenote vanilla. The cinnamon that was mixed into the vanilla was not potent enough to produce a noticeable change in flavor and therefore was impossible to taste. However, the Puffle cone was by far the biggest letdown, as it became cold and stale almost immediately after I received it. It lacked any flavor with a very chewy, unpleasant texture.

Ultimately, this dessert was not worth its price of $7.99, and would probably have been better without the Puffle cone entirely. The Cauldron puts on a gourmet facade but in reality, is overpriced for average ice cream place with a failed gimmick.

When I walked into The Cauldron, I had hoped for an upscale ice cream parlor with exclusive flavors and qualities that would give me a reason to come back for more. However, the ideas for these elements simply did not work in execution, as it was poorly done. At the end of the day, you would be better served by going to a different ice cream place where prices are cheaper and the ice cream has more character. Ultimately, Cauldron had a cool and unique aesthetic in its store, but this was not reflected in the flavors or attention to detail in the ice cream.

K-12 Presents the Dark Side of Society

By Joy Kuo Staff Writer

Four years since the release of her hit debut album Crybaby, Melanie Martinez returns with yet another electro-pop album titled K-12. The album debuted at number three on the US Billboard 200 with 57,000 album-equivalent units and 30,000 pure album sales. Martinez’s second album is also accompanied by the film “K-12”, which spotlights the talented singer’s directing skills and incorporates the album’s songs.

K-12 tells the story of Martinez’s alter ego, Crybaby, and her experiences in school.

The dark yet playful themed album features 13 songs with titles that are associated with school, bullying, and trying to fit in. Martinez also ties in the dark side of life and society by crafting deep lyrics about social issues and life struggles to allow listeners to connect and resonate with her.

Martinez’s opening track “Wheels on the Bus” starts off Crybaby’s school journey with a whimsical tune countered by a serious message. The song is about a bus driver ignoring the kids smoking and carrying out inappropriate actions in the back, presenting society’s negligence to troubled teenagers. Martinez continues to empha-

size the toxicity between people and the evil of humans in the song “Class Fight”, which focuses on people choosing violence instead of communicating with each other to solve problems.

Her iconic eerie tone especially stands out in “The Principal”. Describing the principal as a terrifying punisher, Martinez reveals how the song references to her view on American politics. At the end of the song, she repeats the question “Oh, where’s the principle?” Cleverly utilizing the homophone of principal and principle, Martinez purposely highlights her opposing views on Trump’s leadership and actions, which she discusses in an interview. Even though the meaning of this song is interesting, the melody is hard to follow along. While many songs in K-12 showcased the unsettling xylophone and dark vocals, Martinez’s other songs like “Lunchbox Friends” and “Orange Juice” possess elements of hip-hop and R&B, which is similar to the musical style of Martinez’s first album. The song reveals Martine’s vulnerabilities and insecurities with her physical appearance and discusses eating disorders, specifically bulimia. (...)

To keep reading, visit ihsvoice.com

Page 18

SPORTS

Friday, October 18, 2019

ON THE RECORD “They’re friends inside and outside the water, which really makes a difference when you’re playing a sport.”

— Girls’ Water Polo Coach Trinity Gerome

Girls’ Water Polo Scores Another Win

By Felicia Mo News Editor

On Wednesday Oct. 2, Irvington’s Girls’ Varsity Water Polo team won a decisive victory against Moreau Catholic, with an impressive final score of 16-3. The Lady Vikes’ success qualified them for a game against James Logan for the title of first place in MVALs.

Irvington started out strong in the first quarter, scoring almost half of their goals and setting the wide margin (7-1) between the points that would persist for the rest of the game. During their offensive plays, the Lady Vikes drove deep through Moreau’s defense, passing the ball smoothly amongst their teammates until it reached the hole set (or center player). The hole set, positioned at the two meter line, was left with an almost clear shot as the goalie was the only obstacle. A vast majority of Irvington’s points came from hole set shots, assisted by practiced and efficient teamwork.

“The main takeaway was our team chemistry,” said Girls Water Polo Coach Trinity Gerome. “Most of them, five of them on our starting team, have been playing year-round water polo, and their team chemistry is great. They’re friends inside and outside the water, which really makes a difference when you’re playing a sport.”

Armed with a wide point difference in the first quarter, however, the team began to experience a lackluster performance in the second quarter, most notably in the form of little communication.

Although the second quarter still ended in a large margin (11-2), there was definitely room for improvement and certain skills to build upon for future games.

“It was an eye opener that we needed to step up our game,” said Noelani Takei (11), one of the team captains. “We needed to work on communication and improving in our passing accuracy because we’re going to be playing Logan soon. We realized that if we played how we played in that game against Logan, we would be smashed.”

Irvington maintained its lead in the third (14-2) and fourth (16-3) quarters.

Throughout the game, Irvington’s two goal-

Felicia Mo | News Editor Noelani Takei (11) made four goals throughout the game, bringing herself close to the net to ensure a higher chance of scoring. Successful shots like these were the reason behind Irvington’s wide score margin against Moreau. ies Rudra Hariharan (10) and Amber Gobel (11) had spectacular saves against shots of varying distances and difficult angles.

“Reflecting on the communication, knowing when you have good passes,

knowing what we did good in that game to help us with future games,” said Gobel, another team captain. “With everyone in the water, there’s so much activity so communication is the best way to know what’s hap-

pening all the time.”

The Girls Water Polo team will be having their Varsity Santa Teresa Tournament on Friday, Oct. 18 at Santa Teresa High School.

Girls’ Volleyball Wins Three Straight Sets Against Kennedy

By Rory Conlon Student Life Editor

On October 3, Irvington’s girls’ volleyball team played at home against Kennedy and scored definitive wins in all three sets of the game. Through hard work and communication, every member found a way to contribute towards the victory.

Irvington started off the game strong, scoring five consecutive points against Kennedy in the first five minutes of play. Throughout the first set, team captains Elise Le (12) and Audrey Lee (11) played strong defense in the middle of the court, keeping the ball off the ground and bringing it forward so their teammates could spike it over the net.

“The most action-packed part of the game was when Natasha Tehrani went up for the kill [spike over the net],” said Naylana Horn (12), singling out her teammate for praise. “That was awesome.”

With the help of Tehrani (12), Irvington stunned their opponents’ defense and successfully took the first match with a 21-9 lead against their opponents.

However, as the game eased into the second half, Kennedy’s team recovered its rhythm and caught up to Irvington.

Several intense rallies shook the court, bringing the audience to its feet. Brianne Tall (12) and Rachel Walkup (12) guarded the net and saved the ball several times.

This cleared the way for Irvington to take the second match with a lead of 25-17 and, soon after, the third match with a lead of 25-15.

When asked about what helps the team to consistently turn out and perform, the answer stays consistent whether the team wins or loses.

“Honestly, it just comes down

Rory Conlon | Student Life Editor Rachel Walkup (12) hits the ball over the net as Natasha Tehrani (12) and Brianne Tall (12) hold up the defense.

to communication and a good warm-up,” Rachel Walkup (12) said. “Whenever we stay focused and stay relaxed, there’s always good results.”

This victory is one of many that have already been made in the 2019-2020 volleyball season. Despite getting off to a rough start, Irvington recovered: the

team currently has 14 wins and 7 losses.

They hope to score another win against Moreau High School on October 22.

Friday, October 18, 2019 Page 19

Girls’ Golf Defeats Newark In Close Match

By Roxana Shahmohammadi

Scores Football

Opinions Editor

Girls’ Volleyball

Ellen Li

Irvington’s Girls Golf team poses after a well-deserved victory.

On Monday, October 7, Irvington’s girls’ golf team competed against Newark in an exciting match. Irvington came out on top with a score of 260 against Newark’s 288 despite unfavorable weather and missing players.

Irvington started the match in an unfavorable position, with three of the top players, team captain Mika Jin (12), Sabrina Ma (12), and Phoebe Lai (11) unable to compete. This meant that many of the players from Irvington competing were beginners. On top of this, there was strong wind and hot temperatures further complicating the match and making shot predictions difficult.

Even though the team had a weak start, they made a strong comeback. Adora Liu’s (10) eagle and birdie, which are scores two and one under par respectively, on the two last holes resulted in a turning point in the game and lowered her overall score by 3 points.

She scored an overall score of only 37, the lowest score of any player on either team.

The match remained close until the end, with both teams competing with renewed fervor. Ultimately, Irvington defeated Newark with a difference of only 28 points.

“It was a really close match,” said Liu. “it was a little worrying since we were missing three of our top players, but the new ones did well. I think we’ve improved as a team a lot from last year”

The team practices multiple times a week for hours at a time in order to perfect their technique. Most players also practice on their own time on weekends at the course.

“We probably need to work on our putting skills, but I think our judgment of the course is a lot better than it used to be,” said Jacquelyn Chen (9), who earned Irvington’s second-lowest score. “Our overall league record is 10-3 right now, including out of league matches”.

This game marks another victory in a strong season for the team, who are confident in their chances of making it to state championships.

“The team has been doing really well this season, especially those who haven’t been playing for very long. I can see their scores improving so it’s great to see the team effort and I’m really proud of my teammates,” said Jin.

The Girls’ Golf team will compete in MVALS on October 15, 2019 at Skywest Golf Course in Hayward.

Boys’ Waterpolo

Girls’ Waterpolo

Page 20

Friday, October 18, 2019

Girls’ Tennis Narrowly Defeats Washington

By Nikoo Alizadeh Features Editor

On October 3, Irvington’s girls’ varsity tennis team played a close match against Washington High School in the fourth game of the season. Once the two teams introduced themselves and the captains Jenny Hou (11), Kayla Xu (12), and Ivy Zhang (12) announced which players would be playing against each other, the Irvington girls chanted their team motto before stepping onto the court.

The players normally like to prepare themselves mentally and physically before coming onto the courts to play matches.

“I come on the courts every day and practice with my teammates.” says Trisha Le (11) “Mentally, before a game, I try not to think about losing because playing a high position scares me. The coaches usually help us to be confident players.”

They started off strong, aided by their pre-game warmup. At the start of the game, Irvington excelled as they were scoring point after point against their opponents. With support from their two coaches, the girls were returning fast balls and winning rallies against Washington.

The girls had strong serves, backhands, and were quick at reacting to cannonballs as well as drop shots. Towards the middle of the game, however, the game began to slow down as a few of the Irvington players began to lose several points to Washington. After a motivational pep talk from their coach and reevaluating their strategy for defeating the opposing team, the players went back into the game with a clear head and defeated Washington High School.

Some of the team members did not expect to win so easily to Washington, which is known for having a good team.

“For my game, I thought we could win,” says Charisse Hao (11), “but I thought it was going to be a lot closer than it actually was and Washington would be a lot harder to beat.”

The girls excel at staying motivated, finding their opponents’ weaknesses,

Nikoo Alizadeh | Features Editor

Charisse Hao (11) returns a pass from her opponent. and hitting angles. The team says that they could improve on being consistent and volleying.

“Everyone is really driven,” says Richa Ray (11), “We play smart, hit angles,

and take control of the net. I think what we can work on is our consistency; sometimes we just beat ourselves by making unforced errors or overthinking shots.”

Overall, Irvington’s girls’ tennis

team has started off the season strong and hopes to continue performing tremendously in the following game on October 21 against American High School.

Friday, October 18, 2019 Page 21

HUMOR

Habitudes™

By Justin Kim Copy Editor

To those who did not have to endure Habitudes because their teachers thought it was stupid or forgot about it, Habitudes is a program made by a nonprofit organization called Growing Leaders to give guidance to students and make their lives happier. While I applaud the school for actually taking steps to address the stress of students at Irvington, the Habitudes were way too corny and unrealistic to be taken seriously (an opinion across all listeners).

Now here’s the part where I make fun of it:

Hi, Phil Swift here with Habitudes, the super strong depression-proof life lessons that can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair your life together! Habitudes are no ordinary lessons. Their triplecringe verbal vomit virtually welds itself to society, instantly fixing every problem in the world!

Not expressing your true self can cause major damage, but Habitudes grip on tight and bond this emotional pain instantly! Plus, Habitudes’ powerful messages are so strong, they even have an iceberg metaphor: underwater! Now you can repair leaks in friendships and life without having to draining your wallet to buy the yearly iPhone that’s exactly the same as last year’s except with three, that’s right THREE, camera lenses to prove your material worth and hide your insecurities that you’re too much of a failure to get into a good college and make your parents proud!

Habitudes is perfect for broken re-

lationships, difficult classes, and chronic crippling depression! Habitudes is super strong, and once it’s on, it holds on tight to utopian world views that don’t apply in the soul-crushing world we live in! And for emergency mental breakdowns, Habitudes keeps its grip, even when it doesn’t provide any moral support of any sort!

Big breakups can cause big damage, but Habitudes come super handy, so you can easily patch large emotional scars left by your ex-girlfriends who leave you for your best friend from high school!

To show you the power of Habitudes, I took this depressed kid out of class, and explained to him how to feel better only using the power of Habitudes!

Not only does Habitudes’s powerful cringe drive away students from listening, but it creates a super-strong apathy towards the school’s effort to address mental health issues. Yee doggy!

Just talk, inform, present ‘n preach things everyone has already heard a million times before in their lives and know are useless! Imagine everything YOU can do with the power of Habitudes!

Habitudes™ is not responsible for any subsequent bullying or social outcasting because of your decisions to be yourself and lose all your friends. Please buy all of our lessons with precaution as we know that it’s a cash-grab with useless lessons that don’t take any action to address the actual problems that plague society today. Order now and you will receive 2 FREE Habitudes CDs and pamphlets with a year’s supply of antidepressants!

Be happy, buy Habitudes!

Apple Expands to the Survival Industry: the iPhone 11

Twitter, @Ggezpz Tom Cook introduces the new iPhone 11 and its stove function at the latest Apple Event.

By Serena Yeh Staff Writer

Apple’s newest iPhone suggests Apple’s entry into the “survival and preparedness” industry, which specifically focuses on preparing for life-threatening disasters. Earlier in its history, Apple didn’t prioritize conserving the materials used in its products. However, with the onset of resource depletion, Apple is striving to establish itself as a green company.

Aware of the attention from socalled “environmental activists” on social media, Apple has decided to expand and develop new products to conserve natural resources by combining two devices in one.

The newest addition? The new iPhone 11 Pro Max boasts a 6.5-inch display, a bulletproof glass screen, two cameras, and yes, a mini stove.

Apple CEO Tim Cook explained why the stove was developed, saying, “We figured that you could get anything using the phone through apps, but if you’re stranded with no cell service, we wanted you to still be able to stay warm and make a signal fire. That’s why we had the stove built into the phone.”

Previously, iPhones were not adapted to the modern world, with a fragile screen and battery life shorter than our post-climate change lifespans. The new iPhone evolved to help address new problems that you will face, like an energy crisis.

While there’s a limited amount of natural resources to produce electricity, the iPhone will still be able to use solar power to pro-

duce electricity for your use.

The new BatteryDrop feature allows owners of the phone to share battery power with others through airwaves. You will also be able to physically throw your phone batteries so it will drop alongside your friends who need them. Besides typical scenarios, such where someone might need a little more power to finish studying, Apple wanted to allow people to transfer power to each other in emergency scenarios.

In the case that there is no battery available for BatteryDrop, the new iPhone 11 Pro Max can be charged using solar power through a front sensor on the phone. Although this compact sensor is small, it also has the ability to power the stovetop. While both the solar panel and stovetop installations are small, Cook claims that both are functional and easy to use. However, they will require the iPot, a miniature pot that is compatible with the phone’s stove (available to purchase for $420).

Since the stovetop can reach temperatures of almost 420 degrees Fahrenheit, Apple installed a child safety feature so children would not be burned from toying with the phone. The stove is manually turned on and off, but to increase security, the owner of the phone must now correctly determine the zeros of a quadratic function in order to access it. Take that, bots!

If everything in this article went over your head, you might still be wondering, “Why does the iPhone 11 Max include a stovetop anyways?” It’s clearly because of Tom Cooks.

Page 22

Friday , October 18, 2019

Mysterious Substances Found Beneath Newly Paved Pavilion

Geoffrey Zhang | Staff Writer The hole Joe dug, taken moments before district officials kicked him out of the pavilion.

By Geoffrey Zhang Staff Writer

For the past few weeks, the school district has constantly repaved Irvington High School’s pavilion, claiming that the fire department had requested the cracked road be repaved 420 times for student safety. But what’s the real reason behind these repavings?

Last week, Marley Joe, an Irving-

ton social science teacher, accidentally uncovered the truth. Joe was recently given a new excavator from the city government for his AP Archeology class to search for “jewels”.

“For some reason, the city wrote ‘jewels’ with two ‘u’s, and no ‘e’s or ‘w’s.

What a strange typo,” Joe pondered.

Finding nothing in the softball field, Joe decided to drive recklessly back to his classroom late last Friday, pressing random

buttons to try to increase the speed of the excavator. Joe, however, had also accidentally pressed the “claw down” button, causing him to dig a hole into the school pavilion pavement.

“At that moment my morale took a hit,” Joe said, “The pavilion road was as smooth as stone before I damaged it, and I had put a hole in it the size of an herbplanting pot. But then, I noticed a weird, pungent smell coming from underneath the pavement.”

Joe had stumbled upon a pile of unmarked pipe-shaped containers, bags of green-grey dried plants, USBs, and cartons of liquid labeled C21H30O2. Joe was stunned. Who would be hiding pungent herbs and chemicals, and why? Joe decided to call the police, who redirected Joe to the school district investigation office.

“A few minutes later, some school district workers showed up, and began taping off the area.” Joe recalls, “I distinctly remember an official named Juan ask me who ‘Joe’ was. Before I could introduce myself, he replied, ‘Joe MAMA’ triumphantly.” Joe then remembers being forced to leave, but not before noticing puffs of smoke rising from the pot hole. When he got home, Joe felt dazed and confused, and noticed he had strained, pink eyes. In retrospect, Joe now blames his pink eye on his late-night Tik-

Tok binge on vape tricks.

When asked by The Voice on what exactly was being buried under Irvington High, FUSD Press Secretary Mary Juanita said bluntly, “Our Science Committee recently conducted experiments with biodegradable grasses and chemicals.

During these experiments, test subjects began experiencing erratic behavior, and one of them fainted. In response, we decided to compost the herbs, as every other school district does with organic waste. We thought everyone knew about the district composting program. We never tried to cover it up. I’m sure everyone knows that these experiments are still happening with white powders, now too, right? The chunky, snowy white powder? We deeply regret the incident, but again, everyone should’ve known about this composting program.

We even made a Minga post about it, so it should’ve been common knowledge. We’re just composting things at Irvington High.

Recycle, Reduce, Reuse, children!”

For now, Joe has decided to stay away from the pavilion and instead dig around with his excavator in the field of weeds near his classroom. He has also been commissioned by other schools to find if any erroneous substances are present under their pavement.

Friday, October 18, 2019 Page 23

Horoscopes: Where the You will be in 20 years

By Akshita Nair

Entertainment Editor Aries (March 21-April 19): With your ambition and perseverance, you have what it takes to be successful in life in a way that everyone saw coming. You will definitely be a spunky business person who lands all the deals, takes but never gives, and always has the stocks in the market up no matter who else is falling behind. Spouses and kids are irrelevant: you cannot have any distractions while climbing to the top. But being a loner has its perks: you get a multi-million dollar penthouse all to yourself.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20): You love the luxurious life and refuse to settle for anything less than what you deserve. What else can you be but a beauty guru? Sponsorships, brand deals, merchandise, meet and greets, and more await you in the future.

Best of all, it won’t be boring. As per your contract with the management company you signed with, you’re obligated to get into at least two scandals per year. Throw some shade, spill some tea, and set unreasonably high prices for cheap products, and you’ll say goodbye to the dull, normal lifestyle you had before. It’s not like you could go back, as you bet your entire life’s career on this and don’t have a diploma since you dropped out of school to be in front of the camera.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20): You have many passions in life, so that means that you keep on changing your mind when it comes to your career. The strangest part is that you decided to pursue your passions at the same time. You’re a dog whisperer in the morning, a pilot in the afternoon, a hula dancer in the evening, and a nightclub bouncer in the early morning . Even with all these jobs combined together, you can’t pay your bills and are being evicted from your house as we speak. Based on prior experience, you’ve resorted to living in the first class section of the plane you pilot until you find a new place. Maybe you won’t even want to find a new one with that VIP experience you’re receiving.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Whatever life

throws you, you’ll gladly accept with open arms, even when life throws it at your face.

You decide to be a freelance hippie and let life take you to where it wants you to go, which just means you travel across the country with no money and live wherever you can find shelter. Seriously, you don’t do anything at all. Your parents, 3 kids with 3 different people, and even your pets judge you harshly, but you just brush them off and answer, “It’s coolio my dude, lets go and give some love to the world.” Even after losing all your possessions and pet watermelon named Lucy, you take these losses with dignity.

Leo (July 23 - August 22): You’re a charmer through and through. You’re an actor through and through, as other jobs required intelligence, which you are clearly not capable of. You couldn’t pass health class in high school. That smile can blind normal people, and make blind people see again. Your charm even defies the laws of science! Thus, an actor is the only job for you, as that theatrical nature of yours is just too flamboyant to unleash into normal society. Designer clothes will adorn you as you walk down the red carpet and pose in poses that will most likely crack a few bones, all just to get a few good photoshoots in.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22): You are a kind and gentle soul who can’t bring yourself to hurt even the ugliest of bugs. This is why you would be perfect to be a zookeeper. Animals need care, which is your specialty, even if they don’t appreciate your efforts as much as they should. These animals play rough and tough, and will make your life worse than any high school bully out there. Monkeys are constantly throwing excrement at you while jumping across vines. Rhinos have the tendency to charge you whenever you enter the enclosure and leave you unable to walk for a few hours.

The lions look at your hand with more hunger than they look at the steak you set out for them during meal time. Any longer at this job and you might not make it out alive.

Libra (September 23 - October 22): Every thing has to be perfect for you, or it doesn’t work. You’ll most likely end up as a famous fashion designer who can’t bother to deal

with other people. You don’t even walk out into the street without your personal entourage blocking your sight with large black panels, because you know you’ll get sick if you see all the disgustingly normal clothes that people are wearing. Zhee odazithee (the audacity)! Why do you have a fake french accent? Well, it’s a must of course!

The accent just helps improve the dramatic aspect of your career. You’ll be firing your interns as fast you’ll be dropping the season’s new line of blazers for middle-aged moms in mid-life crises.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21): You are very passionate and tend to find the deepest meaning in things, even when they have no meaning at all. You’re definitely set to be a somewhat insane psychic who makes way too dramatic movements with your hands-actually, your whole body- to get your points across. And the weirdest thing is that people tend to believe you when you tell them things like “follow the light” or “your mom’s a cat”, even though you’re making up the predictions on the spot. In reality, you’re running a scam.

You just stalk people’s social media, then tell them things about themselves. The best part is that they even buy the lucky “charms” that you put spells on, which are really just necklaces made by your fiveyear-old niece.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): You are very smart humorous. You were always told to keep your tongue in your mouth, but with your future career, you won’t have to. As a comedian, you have to use your mouth to keep people laughing, of course. You’ll have at least 2 dozen netflix comedy specials by the end of the year, and even more scheduled for the rest of your life. Seriously, you got into a contract with Netflix and now you can’t get out. They keep making you do these specials and now you’re running out of jokes. At this point, the audience consist of hired actors who are paid to laugh at an uncontrollable amount at everything you say. Even when you take a sip of water, they just keep going. Honestly, it’s terrifying but you are getting the chaching, if ya know what I mean.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19):

You are very optimistic and mischievous, and that youthful and adventurous spirit never leaves you no matter how many years pass by. Therefore, you would most probably be cast as one of the contestants of a survival TV show. When you got on the show, they just stuck a camera to your body and told you to “not die”. How encouraging.

What you didn’t know was that they would dump you in the Amazon and not give you any resources or any form of contact with the outside world. At this point, it’s more of a horror movie at this point.With your fellow contestants resorting to cannibalism, and with you trying not to be cut down by the chainsaws being used for deforestation.

Your only goal now is to make it out alive.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): You’re a free-spirited and radical person who doesn’t like to bow down to authority and wants to make a difference in this world, especially if it means you can take out the bad guys . You’d be the perfect super agent/spy who takes out bad guys easily. You have 5 wigs crammed into your purse and at least two dozen different outfits on standby just in case. Unfortunately, it’s gotten to the point where you don’t even know who you are anymore. Not emotionally, but you literally forgot your name, actual physical appearance, and personal history. With so many different identities and the plastic surgeries you did with them, it’s hard to keep track of them all. You even have a fake family but your fake spouse is fake divorcing you, making you even more confused on what’s happening.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20): You’re emotional as hell. If someone tells you to “ move aside a little” in the grocery store, you start bawling. But this is precisely why you would become the perfect therapist.

It’s not because you could tell them how to deal with their problems-because,let’s face it, you can’t even deal with your own problems- but because you are a very good listener. All you have to do is sit there and nod your head while you listen to them until they are satisfied with your work and then hand you a fat paycheck. A total of maybe four words is conversed between you and your patient. Oh well, you have to pay off those crippling student loans.

Area 51 Raid Turns into a Bonding Event

By Sanjana Gudivada Distribution Manager

On Sept. 20, millions of people drove to Nevada to raid Area 51 claiming, they wanted to free the aliens that were being held captive there.

They gathered at Area 51, protesting and raising signs that demanded that the government free alien captives. Sources say that all 8 million people who signed the Area 51 raid petition on a Facebook event came with signs and alien merch, ready to rescue their alien friends and bring them home.

“Adopt, don’t shop,” said one raider before he charged into the fray.

There was a defense wall ready in front of the entrance already prepared for the raid, but it was ineffective. A group of VSCO girls busted their way through the wall with their hydroflasksksks. The Kyles, armed with monster energy, were able to climb over the walls. The weebs, in full cosplay, Naruto-ran across the desert and used fireball jutsus to burn down the walls.

There were no reported deaths but there are seven injured people and two who are in shock due to witnessing VSCO

girls in their demon forms.

“I brought my hydroflask and metal straw in case I needed to use weapons, save the turtles by the way! I hit one soldier with my hydro and they fell down like a pack of dominoes, it was pretty funny” said one of the on-site VSCO girls as she toyed with her scrunchies.

Other reports of violence include metal straws used to gouge out eyes. One raider, a member of Mr. Moyer’s army of scholars, said it was inspiration from Oedipus Rex.

Most people present at the raid only came in hopes of getting their own

BBC @ihsvoice This is Kyle.

He’s very friendly and loves humans

alien. They claimed that the aliens would be happier in their homes instead of being confined in a prison.

“I didn’t know what the raid was about at first, but once I heard my ten-yearold Jauxnauthinh say he wanted an alien from Area 51, of course I had to come and do it. He’s been an angel and he deserves a pet!” said Karen, one mother among the Carols, Kathys, and Susans that were found at the raid. “I brought myself some Caprisun boxes and an acai-ginger root-mint leaf porridge smoothie as refreshments in case I got tired, but these kids stole them when I was meditating with my healing amethysts. I demanded to speak to the manager of this event to report this malfeasance, but there wasn’t one, so I pulled a reverse UNO card and stole everyone else’s drinks,” Karen admits.

After successfully breaking through the defense barrier, the raiders got their aliens. The aliens couldn’t be happier as they met face to face with their eternal owners- I mean, owners- and some of them even bit their human’s legs out of excitement.

“I am a happy alien now that I found my humane. The government has tortured me long enough, I am a free man now” said Kyle, one of the aliens- whose original name was 190XU$32 before he was renamed- that were freed at the raid.

“I’ve heard rumors that petroleum is the best food on Earth, so if I get the opportunity I’m gonna try some” Kyle said.

The raid ended earlier than expected, and everyone was proud that they finally outsmarted the government and saved those innocent aliens from torture.

After the raid, everyone went home and showed their new alien around. The event turned out to be a success and there were many groups of people who bonded as a result. One of the VSCO girls was reportedly seen giving an e-girl her extra “Save the Turtles” t-shirt. The raid has become an effort to free oppressed aliens and nurture new relationships.