Unwanted Inheritance Are Children Condemned to Repeat Criminal Cycles? By Mackenzie Lobby | Photograph by John Linn
“
M
y daughter asked me one day out of the blue, ‘Dad, is anyone perfect?’ She then looked at me without missing a beat and said, ‘I think you’re perfect.’”
NEW PERFECTIONIST: Korey Sufka was in and out of Minnesota correctional facilities 20 times before reclaiming his life with his family. He said he wants to set a better example for his daughter, Kalileigh.
Korey Sufka recalled the words of his now seven-year-old daughof a parent due to incarceration, the generational cycle of crime makes for ter, Kaileigh. He knew he was far from perfect. Having been on a whirla bleak outlook. In general, experts suggest that children have a wide wind tour of Minnesota county jails and the Lino Lakes Correctional range of responses to this trauma, including anger, anxiety, fear, sadness, Facility, for everything from domestic assault, to theft and check foraggression and violence. “The way family systems work is that they perpetuate behaviors. Those gery, he had been largely absent from his daughter’s life. systems are extremely difficult to break out of even when you’re trying to,” His actions, he later theorized, were in retaliation of his father. A said Dr. Michael Robertson, a St. Cloud area psychologist who has worked bitter divorce and feelings of abandonment left him without a male role extensively with children and their parents model. Falling in with a crowd who who have been incarcerated. lived outside the rules, Sufka chose “Incarceration can create a disruption a path that would land him in jail or “I had an epiphany—the guy I thought of the family,” he added. “The issues are difprison twenty separate times. I hated the most was the man ferent than what might be seen in the rest of “I felt like my dad was never the population. I think those things have a there for me, yet in those times of I was turning into.” big impact on kids.” loneliness I was thinking, ‘I’m not Today, Korey Sufka is the mentor prothere for my daughter either,’” he gram coordinator for the CMNRP. By all accounts, he has managed to break said. “I had an epiphany—the guy I thought I hated the most was the the cycle. He recalls the message he brings to incarcerated parents. man I was turning into. I certainly didn’t want my daughter using drugs “I tell them that our kids view us as perfect people, so our actions give when she was 16 or 17, because her dad was always in jail or prison.” them their definition of what perfect is. We as parents need to understand Indeed, Sufka’s fears were not unfounded. Research shows that a that if we are developing their impressions of perfect, we need to do some child’s risk of criminal involvement may increase up to six-fold when he major soul searching and look at our actions.” or she has a parent who has been incarcerated. In addition to re-entry programs that offer parenting classes, most “Unfortunately, children repeat the behaviors they see and are agree more needs to be done to reach out to the children. The Council on exposed to,” said Lee Buckley, Community Re-Entry Coordinator for Crime and Justice suggests putting in place community awareness programs the Minnesota Department of Corrections. and support groups similar to those for military families. They also emphaJohn Smith, former director of the Central Minnesota Re-Entry size the importance of providing children with role models in the absence of Project (CMNRP), has seen the trend firsthand. “There are a lot of an incarcerated parent. guys coming in for services that are from families with long criminal Despite the statistics, however, Sufka contends that no child—especialhistories,” he said. “It’s inevitable. We can almost predict the percently his own—is condemned to follow the missteps of her parent. age of their kids that are going to have some relationship with the “There is a large group of people who have beaten the odds,” he said. criminal justice system.” “It doesn’t matter how you were conditioned, you can make a change.” IQ With nearly ten million children nationwide experiencing the loss
10 Initiative Quarterly Magazine
IQmag.org