YOU SAY
GOODBYE
AND I SAY
RELATIONSHIP
HELLO!
GAMES WE PLAY AT
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AND OR
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BY STEVE MCCLATCHY How have you been greeting people lately? 1. You ignore social distancing guidelines altogether and bring it in for the big hug or handshake. 2. You look them in the eye, nod, wave, wink or demonstrate a virtual hug and say hello. 3. You give a fist bump, elbow bump, or foot tap. 4. You go right into the conversation without saying hello because that part is just plain awkward now. 5. Since you can’t greet people the traditional way, you pretend they don’t exist and go about your business. What’s your current go-to? In my Leading Relationships workshop (and new book out next year) I discuss the need we all have to be acknowledged by people we 66
know. Now more than ever we are aware of just how compelling this basic human need can be. Have you felt it? Have you noticed something missing when you see someone and you can’t greet them the way you normally would? How do you feel when you are ignored or not acknowledged by someone? Even aside from the pandemic’s restrictions on social interaction, many people play games by withholding acknowledgement and recognition in order to send a message of power or position. Playing games and keeping score in relationships is a sign of immaturity and it undermines your ability to lead others. Below is my new article on this topic. I hope you enjoy it. You arrive at work and see your colleague in the hall and you say hello. In a meeting with that same colleague later in the day you disagree about something and it gets pretty heated. The next morning you pass your
IFEA’s ie: the business of international events
Fall 2020
colleague in the hall, would you say hello? Have you ever decided not to say hello or not said hello back when they greeted you first? Have you ever been mad at someone who texted you and decided to ghost them without telling them why? Have you ever had a problem with a colleague at work so you took longer than you should have to respond to their email? Have you ever decided to not cross the room and greet someone new? Have you ever decided not to greet a new manager because you were resentful that they got promoted instead of the company promoting you? Have you ever given someone close to you the the silent treatment because you were upset and you wanted them to know it? Let the games begin. We are very familiar with how to play games. There is a winner and a loser. In any win/lose situation your ego knows exactly what to do: go for the win. Thanks