Prepare kids for adulthood
Homeschooling: You can do it; here’s why By Daniel Bobinski As much as some people would like us to believe otherwise, our children are our responsibility. And the saying is true: once we become parents, we are parents for the rest of our lives. Even when our children are adults, they are still “our kids.” So one question for us parents is, “What are we doing to prepare our school-age children to be functional, healthy adults?” We teach our kids how to eat, put on their shoes, and ride a bike. This is really no different from teaching them how to add or subtract, how to use a ruler, or how to read. All learning is a simple transfer of knowledge, skills and attitudes. If a parent can teach a child how to put on a shirt, that parent can also teach a child how to read. With the homeschooling convention coming up the first weekend in June (see CHOIS.org), I’d like to encourage anyone with school-age children to consider homeschooling. You say you don’t feel up to the task? Not to worry — support groups and co-ops abound. In other words, you don’t have to go it alone. Some might say, “But I’m not certified.” You don’t have to be. What you need is a love for your child and a desire to help him/her grow. Some might say, “But I don’t have a classroom.” You don’t need one. Some of the best conversations happen around the dining room table. Some of the best homeschooling does, too. Some might say, “But I don’t know what curriculum to choose.” No worries; there are lots of people in the homeschooling community who can help, plus the co-ops and support groups are full of parents who’ve asked (and gotten answers for) curriculum questions. Also, some good books along these lines are “The Way We Learn,” by Cynthia Tobias, and “102 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum,” by Cathy Duffy. Some might say, “But I can’t afford to spend six hours a day teaching.” Again, you don’t have to. Learning does not have to happen during the same hours as institutional schools. Also, one joy of homeschooling is that the quality of learning is what counts. Did your child learn what you had planned for the day? Great. There’s no need to have “X” hours of class time if your learning objectives have already been met. Some might say, “But I want my kids to be socialized.” Since this is one of the most common reasons people cite in their reluctance to start homeschooling, I’d like to devote the rest of this column to socialization. Essentially, unless you plan on never, ever leaving the house, “socializing” children is not a problem. Let me start by saying that at one time I believed public schools were the only way to go. Having been public schooled myself, and by my own “statistical sample of one,” I was convinced that kids interacting with other
MAY 2017 | Idaho Family Magazine
kids in public-school settings was the best way to prepare them for life. But also let me share something I experienced long before homeschooling was on my radar. In my late 20’s, while working as a youth director at my church, I attended a two-week camp for teens so I could see if it was something I wanted to send my youth to. There were about 100 kids at this two-week camp, and I made it a point to talk with as many as I could to learn why they were at the camp and what they hoped to get out of it. As might be expected, some kids tended to be shyer than others, while some were fully engaged with anyone and everyone around them. I didn’t think much of it, but when I talked with kids about their school environment, I was surprised to learn that roughly one third of them were homeschooled, one third were private schooled, and about one third were public schooled. The big “a-ha” happened when I realized a correlation existed. The kids who were most comfortable in their own skin — the ones who interacted easily with everyone, no matter their age — were typically the kids who were homeschooled. Furthermore, the kids who were more reticent to talk about themselves (or life in general) were mostly those who attended public school. Kids who attended private school tended to be somewhere in between. After realizing that there was more than a casual correlation, I decided to put my theory to the test. I watched the kids I hadn’t talked to yet to see how they interacted with others. And, based on my observation, I would make a guess as to whether they were home, private, or public-schooled. Then I would ask them. I wasn’t right all the time, but about 85 percent of the time I was. This was an amazing discovery, and the fact that these kids didn’t know each other, and they were attending this camp from all over the country, lent credence to my informal study. Since I wasn’t a parent at the time and had no interest in homeschooling, I stuck this “a-ha” in the back of my brain and pretty much forgot about it. But when the time for parenthood arrived and homeschooling was an option, it was a no-brainer for me. Bottom line, homeschooling is a phenomenal opportunity that may seem daunting at first, but it’s not. It’s actually quite fulfilling. I would encourage anyone with school-aged children to look into it and give it serious consideration. After all, if we are going to prepare our children to be functional, healthy adults, who better to do that than us parents — the people who love our children the most. n Daniel Bobinski, M.Ed., is the CEO of Workplace-Excellence.com, helping teams and individuals learn how to use Emotional Intelligence. He’s also a homeschooling dad, a best-selling author, and a popular speaker at conferences and retreats. Reach him at dan@workplace-excellence.com or 3757606.
www.idahofamilymagazine.com