Mindfulness Are We Really Thinking

Mindfulness, a big buzz word in the wellbeing world at the moment.

Backed by neuroscience, 8 week Mindfulness Courses grow the problem solving and emotional regulation parts of our brain. They also build our resilience through shrinking the fight or flight mechanism. Mindfulness works with helping us with stress and anxiety or simply being more productive and it's a great tool to help build our awareness.

In particular, the world we live in nowadays simply seconds are given to each task as we scroll through social media while watching TV, splitting our attention in many areas. Mindfulness can help bring us back to the present moment and focusing on one thing at a time.

But are we thinking about it totally wrong? This might be a bit of a controversial one but I’m interested in what you think. Sometimes when we practise Mindfulness, I feel we are searching for something (I can relate to this myself). We want the calm and nice feeling, so we start searching for it and almost become addicted to it. We become hooked to the calm feeling it gives us and become almost selfish about it.

This doesn’t feel right when you go back to the roots of what mindfulness is, wanting to feel calm and wanting it to be a certain way just doesn’t fit with what its meant to be all about.

In particular the non-judgemental elements to it, if we are expecting it to be a certain way we are making judgements about it. If we have a bad experience and we think it’s the ‘wrong’ way to practise it then we are making judgements about this too.

Yes, sometimes when I practise it, I get the warm fuzzy feeling, but also I sometimes

don’t get a calm feeling. I feel anxiety in my chest, feeling the impact of stress on my body, becoming more aware of how busy I am. Yes, over time, Mindfulness will help us find more calm but we don’t always experience calm as we start to build our awareness, so being hooked onto the idea of finding calm every time just isn’t healthy I don’t think.

If I sat down to practise and expected to find a warm fuzzy feeling every time, I would get a shock. Although there are benefits, if we do feel good when we practise it we are likely to practice it more and we are then more likely to build a Mindfulness habit, so this is an upside of this!

I was thinking about what to do about this and I think as a Mindfulness teacher I should try and provide an answer and be a bit of a thought leader on this one.

I think the answer instead of thinking of ourselves and finding our calm when we practise Mindfulness, a better way to think about it is it think of others.

If we practise Mindfulness so we are better able to help others then we will ultimately create a better world with the kindness and compassion that comes from the attitude both inside and outside of formal ‘practice’.

The Buddhist term for this is ‘Metta’ which means loving kindness and is more of an attitude both within and outside the formal practice, it’s a way of being, treating yourself and others with kindness and compassion.

I think there is a difference between self-kindness and compassion and treating mindfulness non-judgementally and the selfish want for calm, a search for something and almost an addiction.

I also always hear the term ‘Mindfulness’ used in so many ways and used to describe stuff just because it sounds good, or because its fashionable/trendy (can’t say that without feeling old!). If we are being true to the roots of Mindfulness and practising it in the way it is intended and in a non-judgemental way then I think we are onto a winner, for ourselves, others and the wider world!

Are you thinking about Mindfulness all wrong? How long do you really spend scrolling through social media? How could you practise Mindfulness with Kindness and Compassion shifting your focus to helping others rather than finding something yourself?

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Article By Gemma Sandwell Bsc Hons TEDx speaker and Mindfulness Teacher