OUR COVER STORY…
A brain tumour, a baby and a real-life fairy tale Stefania Distante Cheltenham, United Kingdom
MY story is like a fairy tale, albeit one including a brain tumour and fertility problems. I was planning my wedding when from one day to the next, life as I knew it ended and a new life began. My fiancé and I were in Italy to exchange pre-wedding vows following an Italian tradition called ‘The Promise’. My father, a retired doctor, arranged for me to have a brain MRI on the same day. This was purely to put his mind at rest after some symptoms I had discussed with him. When he told me they found a brain tumour, he was shaking. I was 30 years old and had so many plans for my life. I had two questions for him: “Is it cancer?” and “Can I have children?” He didn’t know the answer to either at this early stage.
An emotional wedding vow takes on a new meaning We went right from the hospital to the church to read our vows: “In sickness and in health.” We knew this would cement our relationship: walking together into the unknown. Later that day we told my mum. This was the most heart-wrenching part of my diagnosis, seeing her break down with fear and hurt, wishing she had the tumour instead of me. Returning to our home in the United Kingdom meant finding a neurosurgeon who could help me and answer my questions. I was seen by neurosurgeon Mr David Porter who was to become one of the most important men in my life. When I met him I had a sense of total calm and peace, I knew he was going to be the man who would save me.
Above: Our beautiful daughter, Gaia, sleeping, age eleven weeks
8
Brain Tumour
Above: My perfect wedding day as I started married life with my husband
“Is it cancer?” I asked. “It appears to be a meningioma. But a biopsy after surgery will confirm this” he said. “Can I have children?” I asked. “You probably could but you may not wish to” Mr Porter said. I didn’t really understand what he meant by this. I needed to find other people like me, to meet brain tumour survivors, to understand what lay ahead. Hours of Internet searching left me more scared than reassured. I was lucky enough to find two charities that provided initial support. The first was an American charity called ‘Meningioma Mommas’ which provides an online support network. The second was a British charity, called Brain Tumour Support (http://www. braintumoursupport.co.uk), which runs support group meetings. Both held my hand, as I had booked a date for surgery six weeks after our wedding. I asked my family to keep my brain tumour a secret. We wanted to enjoy our wedding day and not have our guests worry or, worse still, feel sorry for us. Our wedding was a celebration of our love, our lives and our future together, no matter what.