I-Female Magazine | August 2012

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I-Female Magazine1 Year Anniversary

Pg. 12 Pg. 8

Gospel secrets

Pg.7 Wholistic Tips

Cover: Brittany Beenus Inspirational story Pg. 9

Le Petite Capella Back to School Donation Drive

Pg. 19 W.O.W GALA EVENT

I-Female Magazine $6.50

August 2012 | www.i-female.net | I-Female Publishing


CONTENTS 9 | “Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out” 11 | 31 Type if Happiness 13 | A MESSAGE FROM JANE CARTER OF JANE CARTER SOLUTION: 14 | Quotes of the Month 15| PUBLIC STORAGE 101 19| W.O.W Gala Event

TalkingBack! MailTime! Letters From Readers WRITE US I-Female Magazine welcomes letters from its readers. To contact Editorial: Send us a fax (215-613-5000), email (magazine@i-female.net) or mail (Letters to I-Female Magazine, P.O Box 935 Vineland, New Jersey 08362). Letters should include the writer’s full name, address and daytime phone number. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

J.T. Barber Presents SoulSpeak Sundays is held every 3rd Sunday of the month from 5-8pm at Teaful Bliss Cafe in Philadelphia. Whether you're a poet, spoken word artist, musician, comedian, singer, or spectator, this monthly event is for you. The first hour of SoulSpeak Sundays is for business networking and socializing. So bring your product(s) and/or business cards. Come out and relax, relate, and release...and let your Soul Speak Upcoming SoulSpeak Sundays Event _________________________________ 08/19/2012 | J.T Barber Presents: SoulSpeak Sundays 09/16/2012 | J.T Barber Presents: SoulSpeak Sundays "E-Cubed" Edition 10/21/2012 | J.T Barber Presents: SoulSpeal Sundays 11/18/2012 | J.T Barber Presents: SoulSpeak Sundays "Thanksgiving" 12/16/2012 | J.T Barber Presents: SoulSpeak Sundays "Winter Special" Visit Www.jtbarberonline.com for more information about SoulSpeak Sundays


“Nationally, 3.5 million school teachers spend an average of $500-plus in out-of-pocket expenses on classroom supplies for their students.” Many schools don’t have the money to cover the most basic materials they need like paper, markers, textbooks, etc… As a result school children are being robbed of the learning aid that cultivates creativity and critical thinking. On August 18, 2012 at the Jose Sebourne Art Gallery located at 1215 Vine St, Philadelphia, PA, Le Petite Capella will be hosting our 2nd annual “Back to School” donation drive. All donations will be made to 6 different schools as well as kids and families who are in need. We hope to get a lot of supporters and sponsors to help schools and kids make each year a successful and better one. We ask that you spread the word and come out and show your support for “we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” From bake sales, to raffle give away and vendors Le Petite Capella invites you out to start this school year off with a bang! We ask that if you’re unable to make it out to this event please visit our website where you can donate $1 or more. All donations will be recognized on our website as well as in I-Female Magazine. Your donation makes a difference. www.backtoschooldonation.eventbrite.com Le Petite Capella thanks you for your support. To know more about making a donation or becoming sponsors please contact Trudean Wright. Trudean Wright Owner/Event Planner 215-720-6265 Trudean@aurigacapella.com www.aurigacapella.com


Letter from the Publisher...

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elcome to our 1YEAR ANNIVERSARY issue of I-Female Magazine. I-Female is here for all women no matter what you’re going through in life, health and relationships. We are an advocate for teens in areas of teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and making healthy choices. As we continue to grow we will feature many articles and resources that can assist your needs. We have been working very hard getting information out to our subscribers. We are so excited to see the growth as we continue to expand. We have reached over 26,468 viewers online. I-Female sends a warm thank you to all of our supporters. It is a pleasure to have information available to the women not only in our community but around the world. This Month I-Female features Brittany Beeunas, our staff photographer. She will share her story about how she discovered her inner talent as she encourages others to “Dare To Be Different”, and step out to your vision. As you know August is “Get Ready For Kindergarten” as well as “National Back to School” Month. Last year IFemale Magazine partnered with Le Petite Capella for their “Back to School” Donation Drive and raised money and school supplies for 3 difference school in the New Jersey area and families who needed help with school supplies. This year Le Petite Capella will be hosting their 2nd annual “Back to School” Donation Drive at the Jose Sebourne Art Gallery located at 1215 Vine St, Philadelphia Pa on August 18, 2012. “Nationally, 3.5 million school teachers spend an average of $500-plus in out-of-pocket expenses on classroom supplies for their students.” Many schools don’t have the money to cover the most basic materials they need like paper, markers, textbooks, etc… As a result school children are being robbed of the learning aid that cultivates creativity and critical thinking. As we enter into August we celebrate “National Black Business” Month. National Black Business month is designed to help educate and encourage consumers and institutions to visit at least one black owned business during the month of August. Did you know August 8 was Happiness Happens Day? Don’t be glum if the day passed by unnoticed: you still have time to be merry quotient, since the Secret Society of Happy People has declared all of August “Happiness Happens Month.” I-Female also extends a warm Happy Birthday to everyone born in August and as we celebrate our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY we want to thank our wonderful staff and everyone who’ve made I-Female a reality to the world. Be safe and blessed! Remember I-Female is me. I-Female is you. Stenell Greene-Myers Publisher whosgonnapaythemortgage@i-female.net




Publisher Stenell Greene-Myers Editor Vanessa Curtis Design Trudean Wright Le Petite Capella Photographer Brittany Beeunas Contributors Tony Myers Tina Louise If you want I-Female magazine at your location email us at magazine@i-female.net If you want to get involved, if you have a story or something you want to share contact us. magazine@ifemale.net Find us online www.i-female.net Join our mailing list for month newsletter for give away and upcoming events

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@ifemalemagazine

I-Female is a tribute to female empowerment; it allows you to look at yourselves as strong individuals and not just victims or survivors. Cover Photo: Britanny Beenus Back Cover: No Book Left Behind Book Drive WRITE US I-Female Magazine welcomes letters from its readers. To contact Editorial: Send us a fax (215-613-5000), email (magazine@i-female.net) or mail (Letters to I-Female Magazine, P.O Box 935 Vineland, New Jersey 08362). Letters should include the writer’s full name, address and daytime phone number. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.


Talk2TL: Wholistic Tips Tina Louise Massage Therapist Email: MassagesByTL@Ymail.com

TIP #1: CHICKWEED Chickweed is useful for skin conditions. Another beneficial quality of Chickweed is that it helps with fat breakdown, absorption and elimination. It can act as a diuretic and has a very mild laxative effect. Chickweed has been used as an ingredient for some skincare products, because it has been identified as a potential anti-inflammatory agent. You can find CHICKEWEED in capsule form at health food stores, or local pharmacies – such as: CVS, Rite Aid, or Walgreens (usually found in the vitamin and supplement aisle in stores). **NOTE** If you decide to use herbal medicines, consult with your physician prior to taking the herb. Let your physician and pharmacist know if you are already taking these products. You want to determine if there will be any contraindications with a prescription drug you are currently taking.

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TIP #2: BEAT NATURALLY

DEPRESSION tence. When you move – by doing various exercises, stretching, swimming, bowling, etc. - you For starters – “you must move awaken endorphins and chemiyour body to heal your mind”! cals. These reactions send out When it comes to battling stink- pleasure sensations, stimulate ing-thinking or the blues, it’s dif- the brain and muscles in your ferent for men and women. body as well as elevate the Men most often, turn to poten- blood and circulation. Secondly tially dangerous or distracting – eating certain foods can help activities to alter their moods - fight depression! Most of us like sex, exercise, gambling, or have a problem with comfort maybe fishing. A lot of women food cravings! on the other hand, usually graviPersonally, I like most tate towards possible emotional things cheese or chocolate - LOL. activities – like shopping, talking I too, have to occasionally step to a girlfriend, snacking, or away from my two favorite and watching tear-jerker movies. comforting things to eat! Some Therefore, I suggest that of us though, escape into a food when any of us feels the blues addiction, which can cause sericoming on, or you feel that life’s ous problems. Women have it circumstances make you feel de- hard, because our bodies go pressed – get up and do some- through cycles which cause us to thing positive and productive. crave these foods. Sweets and do Let’s make an effort to carbohydrate-rich-foods balance our lives with physical boost serotonin, which calms us movement and exercise; you’ll down and makes us feel good. feed the intellect, the emotions, However, remember to incorpothe physical, and the spiritual – rate eating foods that help pro“it’s wholistic” – collectively. mote energy. The following is a Each entity of our lives makes suggested list of nutritious foods for a better balance of exis- you may want to consider:

I-Female Magazine


Fresh Apples - Vitamins A, B6, C and K Boiled Eggs - protein and Vitamin B Salmon - Omega3 and protein Beans or Lentils - carbohydrates and potassium Strawberries - help with inflammation; has antioxidants Almonds - Omega 3, and Omega6 Popcorn - lots of fiber (single-serve bag is better for you) Blueberries - boost the immune system; contain no fat Sweet Potato- a root veggie rich in fiber; Vitamins A & C Green Tea - powerful plant energy source Okay, I-Female Magazine readers! I hope I’ve given you some helpful tips this month. Eat healthy as often as you can. It’s summertime so get out, move it; take a walk, do yoga , join a Zumba class, ride a bike, learn how to Salsa dance, drink plenty of water, and treat yourself to a therapeutic massage. In closing, be aware of your environment -avoid polluted and humid conditions. Until next month – PEACE and LOVE – from: Tina Louise! WAYS YOU CAN COMMUNICATE WITH ME: Twitter – @Talk2TL 14

Gospel Secrets Are You A Virtuous Woman? By Tony Myers

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Proverbs 31:10-31 (KJV)

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

I-Female Magazine

She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

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Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

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“

Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out�


I took a chance.

DARE TO BE D I F F E R E N T “Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out” is a quote I live by. It’s impossible to know the outcome of any situation. Of course you can guess, but life takes its course and problems occur or miracles happen. Making my way through college and beginning my career in photography and crafting has already thrown many obstacles my way, some easy and some more of a challenge. As a twenty-year old student and photographer I still don’t have a clue what’s going to be thrown my way (doubt I ever will! Who does?), but I have grown to like it that way. After I graduated from high school I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. Just like most people my age I entered college undecided thinking about teaching, massage therapy, music, art, and biology; the choices were endless. I never felt so pressured to make a choice before. At the time I thought only about finances, income, stability and other people’s opinions. I wasn’t thinking about what I wanted to experience or the talents I posses. It took some time for me to realize that no matter how confused or unsure a situation makes you feel, it is so important to follow your heart. Nothing is worth being unhappy.

I set aside the time and enrolled in a photography course at Camden County College my second semester and changed my major. I heard a lot of negative things at first, people doubting that photography would ever get me anywhere. Well, that just made me work harder. I stayed in class longer, scheduled more photo shoots, and watched hours of videos and tutorials about photography and photo editing in my free time. It definitely benefited me in my studies. In the program you see people who have a passion for what we do, a passion to capture a moment that stands out and a moment that last forever. Already I have had the opportunity to work with many wonderful and unique people, my work has stood out to many people in the area. I have had a wonderful time in photo shoots with a local band, growing families, friends, and some newcomers along the way! Now, I am blessed with the opportunity to work with the publishers and editors of I-Female Magazine. They truly are a welcoming family, not just “the people I work with”. I’m very excited to continue projects and attend events with this new family and to help the readers experience our adventures through the lens.


How can you celebrate the Happiness Happens day and the month? Participate in HappyThon2012 on Happiness Happens Day on August 8th – it’s an online social media event so connect to us for more information. 

DID YOU KNOW… AUGUST WAS HAPPINESS HAPPENS MONTH?

I

n 1998 the Secret Society of Happy People declared August 8th as Happiness Happens Day (originally Admit You’re Happy Day), and expanded the celebration to be a month long in August 2000 — that way you can celebrate whatever day is convenient. August 8th was chosen because it was the day they got their first member, so it’s the Society‘s birthday. In 1999, the Society asked all 50 state governors for a proclamations recognizing Admit You’re Happy Day and governors from 19 states sent proclamations. Find out if your governor was happy, a stick in the mud, or a parade-rainer. 11

Pass out SILVER kisses because not-so-secretly happy people have a way to find the silver lining in the darkest of clouds. Organize a Happiness Happens Month celebration at work. Get the Happiness Happens @ Work Activities Guide to help with ideas.  Have conversations about happiness … tell others what made you happy, and listen to what made others happy.  Don’t rain on other peoples parades  Make a Happy Treasure Chest: A box full of the things that bring smiles to your face. Get a box–make it uniquely happy. The crafty may want to decorate one and the crafty-challenged may choose to buy one. Then fill it with favorite photos; precious cards and letters; momentous and artifacts–movie tickets, playbills, jokes, happy quotes, cartoons, music, candles, videos, and the like.When you’re in need of a Happy Booster then look inside your Happy Treasure Chest and you’ll find plenty of smiles. It’s a great activity to do with others. Have a Happy Treasure Chest Party. You can even make one for someone who needs a happy pick-me-up! (Tip from Teri Sarin)  Happy Memories: Put a piece of paper on the wall with each person’s name. Then have either family members or co-workers draw or write down a happy memory that they experienced with that person. Take Your Happy Inventory  Host a Happiness Happens Celebration:Have a theme party with everyone wearing something from their favorite era (even if they didn’t live in it this lifetime) or pick your favorite era; make up a happy trivia game that includes things the happiest things about your city, county or state; but most important have fun Share the Happiness: Write Down or Post your Daily Happy Moment. If you can’t think of one check the 31 Types of Happiness  When tucking your kids in for bed at night, take turns listing the happy moments you experienced that day (Tip from Cindy Fitzhugh, MA) Sited: www.sohp.com

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Happy 1 Year Anniversary I-Female Magazine OVER 26,468 VIEWERS FIND US ONLINE WWW.I-FEMALE.NET FACEBOOK.COM/ IFEMALEMAGAZINE

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By: Zainabi

A MESSAGE FROM JANE CARTER OF JANE CARTER SOLUTION:

A

ugust is National Black Business Month and it's not easy being a business owner these days, but it's particularly challenging for black business owners. Black people have the highest spending rate among all ethnic groups but, sadly their consumer dollars are not recycled back into the black community. Each additional $40,000 spent provides a business owner with the resources to create one new job. It may not seem like much, but this one new job translates into a better future for the employee, their family and the

community. We must embrace the spirit of family and self-reliance in order to strengthen the foundation of our community. Spend your income locally and support those black entrepreneurs that work hard for your business. Give these people a chance to succeed - their success results in more jobs, stronger community, and greater opportunities for everyone. Encourage everyone to support black owned businesses - not only during the month of August but throughout the year. Remember: 2010 31 Days and 31 Ways to invest in your community. Support your local black businesses not just for the month of August but all the time.

ww.aunaturale007.blogspot.com

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I-Female Magazine


Quotes Of The Month

member sweetness. We have no creative effort.” -Franklin D. Rooscar to show for happiness. We sevelt learn so little from peace.” ― Chuck Palahniuk August 15: “Then give to the world the best you have. And the August 6: “Happiness is when what best will come back to you.” you think, what you say, and what Madeline Bridges you do are in harmony.” ― Mahatma Gandhi August 16: “Happiness depends upon ourselves.”― Aristotle August 7: “Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from August 17: “Even if you’re on the your own actions.” ― Dalai Lama right track, you’ll get run over if XIV you just sit there” -Will Rogers August 8: “You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” ― Albert Camus

August 18: “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and August 9: “You cannot protect withstand the shocks of adversity yourself from sadness without pro- before it is entitled to the appeltecting yourself from happiness.”― lation.” -George Washington Jonathan Safran Foer August 19: “I have found that I August 10: “Ability is what you’re always learn more from my miscapable of doing. Motivation deter- takes than from my successes. If mines what you do. Attitude deter- you aren’t making some mismines how well you do it.” -Lou takes, you aren’t taking enough Holtz chances.” -John Sculley

August 1: “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” ― Dr. Seuss August 2: “For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson August 3: “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ― Robert A. Heinlein

August 4: “People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” ― Abraham Lincoln August 5: “It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to reI-Female Magazine

August 11: “Success is getting what August 20: “When you walk with you want, happiness is wanting purpose, you collide with deswhat you get”― W.P. Kinsella tiny” -Bertice Berry August 12: “You’ve got to be original, because if you’re like someone else, what do they need you for?” Bernadette Peters

August 21: “Every seed you sow, whether good or bad, you shall reap. Cultivate joy into your life. Start sowing seeds of happiness!” Unknown

August 13: “I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to August 22: “The secret of happisail my ship” -Louisa May Alcott ness is freedom; the secret of freedom is courage.” ― Carrie August 14: “Happiness lies in the Jones joy of achievement and the thrill of

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August 23: “Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.” -Booker T. Washington August 24: “Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because It means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better” -King Whitney Jr. August 25: “The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.”― Martha Washington August 26: “I think happiness is what makes you pretty. Period. Happy people are beautiful. They become like a mirror and they reflect that happiness.”― Drew Barrymore August 27: “Whoever is happy will make others happy.”― Anne Frank

CHAPTER8

PUBLIC STORAGE 101 Rental agreements that put our hearts out there This chapter is dedicated to the countless women who fall victim to becoming their own self-managing private storage facility. Many of you are probably raising your brow right about now. However, this topic is often evident in our friends' lives as well as our own. How many of us have girlfriends who are independent, have great

August 28: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”― Mahatma Gandhi

jobs, are loyal, loving, and own their own storage facility in their home? Oftentimes, we as women do not realize

August 29: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”― Bil Keane August 30: “It is never too late to be what you might have been.”― George Eliot

that by “accommodating” our boyfriend, B-O-O, or H.I.T. (Husband in Training), we are selling ourselves short. For example, I was in a relationship a few years ago, and it thrived for the most part. My boyfriend at the time had a good job, his own apartment, his own car, and a

August 31: “If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.” ― Maya Angelou

personality that shined as bright as any star. As the beginning months went past, he began to “ask” me about my living arrangements. You see, in the early stages of dating, I did NOT allow any man to know where I lived.

Inspire! Motivate! Encourage!

Don't get me wrong - we WERE dating. The background on that decision came from years of men-leeches. For

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I-Female Magazine


some odd reason, the men I

This, however, was not in his de-

should I say “who” the problem

dated fell in love with my life-

sign. He wanted to keep things as

was? I had an issue. And because

style vice and the woman that

they were. Here I am in MY home

of that issue, I was unable to build

made it all happen. And for that

with all these objects around me -

a healthy relationship. Because of

reason, I stopped allowing any-

reminding me of us, but without

my own issues and fears of being

the man. What made it funny was

played, I created a “safe zone” for

that I really couldn't bring some

the men that came into my life.

other guy to the house because it

The “safe zone” consisted of hav-

was evident that there already

ing a relationship but only on MY

was a male presence there. He

terms. My terms consisted of all

made sure of that! I remember

the “normal” rules of a monoga-

him saying crazed statements like,

mous relationship with the excep-

“Who was here?...I smell co-

tion of permanent residency. Until

logne.” I would immediately give

then, they could “rent out my

my report that my dad or brother

space” (my home) and play the

came through for a visit. He

part UNTIL I WAS READY TO COM-

would confirm my story and move

MIT. The problem here is that

on. Now, ladies, I know you see

men find out what game you are

something wrong with this story,

playing and will play with you un-

right? First of all, why is he requir-

til they are forced to make a deci-

ing a checklist of who comes to

sion or commitment.

MY house? Second of all, just be-

Look at it this way: if you set the rules in the beginning, the men know what is acceptable and what is not. So in my case, I basically said, “Hey, I want to be with you, but I am not ready to make that final step. So while I am debating on the pros and cons, you can gradually rent my storage unit and come and go as you please – that is, until I am ready.” Everyone knows that when you rent a storage unit, you get your space, you move in the not-so-vital pieces of furniture and whatnots.

one I was interested in to see my taste in “home living” until I knew it was serious!! Nonetheless, as the months passed the relationship grew. Not to mention the pressure increased, for now the boyfriend felt I was hiding something since he was not allowed to know where I lived. So eventually, I let him come over one fatal evening………and he never left!! I remember as if it were yesterday. At the time, it tickled both of us. However, today I say I must have been out of my MIND! Before I knew it, he had moved in first with little things, such as a toothbrush, shaving kit, and a few clothes. Then it became almost all of his belongings. Keep in mind that he still had his apartment in the city. Months kept rolling past us, and I fell deeper and deeper in love with him. After a year or so, I came to terms that I really, really wanted him to be a “permanent” fixture in my life.

I-Female Magazine

cause he left a few items at the house, why did he feel that it somehow

validated

that

the

house and I was his territory without the commitment?

W e

fall into these kinds of outrageous events by sometimes not even knowing it. Now that many years have passed, I can look back and see where the problem was. Or

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You pay your monthly visit to pay

type transition to not trust anyone

prove his worthiness to come into

your bill and validate another

AND not trust myself. Because of

my home. In addition, he had to

month of rental space, and for the

not trusting anything that had

also show me that he had MORE

rest of the month you come and go

breath, I created a fortress of

than what I had so it would defeat

until the billing cycle is up and you

beauty in my home. I put every

the fears of a man leeching off of

must renew again. Some may

dime and then some into my dwell-

me. I was so BLIND. Again, it took

laugh, but if we equate our own

ing place. Not so much to impress

years to look in my mental library

mishaps and shortcomings to tangi-

those who came over, but to im-

to comb through all the mess. Be-

ble things (like the storage unit),

press me with a false sense of secu-

cause I had insecurity issues within

we may better understand what

rity and acceptance (since I could-

myself, I laid out a mental “rental

we are doing wrong. We must be

n’t find it in any previous ventures).

agreement to be in my space”!

careful how we translate our wants

So here I was with a beautiful

Some may say, that is just plain

to men. Men only take what we

home, more like a shrine, and I pro-

crazy. Crazy or not, it’s true, and

give them.

tected it as if it were the Ark of the

many women do the same thing

The second issue here

when it comes to put-

again was my internal

ting their hearts out

thought process. Because I

there. My internal

had carried over past battle

thoughts were prohibit-

wounds (see Chapter 18), I

ing me from being clear

had basically set myself up for

and concise when it

the okeydoke. Instead of wor-

comes to relationships.

rying about some man playing

Men are simple. You

me, I had played MYSELF.

must tell them EXACTLY

So while I am debating on the pros and cons, you can gradually rent my storage unit and come and go as you intentions and good rea- please – that is, until I am ready... You pay your monthly visit to pay your bill and validate another month of rental soning in the beginning, space, and for the rest of the month you come and go until it did not correct the the billing cycle is up and you must renew again.

what it is and what it

deficiency that I had go-

He need not worry if

Even though I had good

is not. In my case, I had set myself up from the beginning.

ing on within me. My battle

Covenant itself. I substituted MY

“I was a keeper” because I came

wounds had created an insecurity

value with my home. So any man

into the relationship holding a

of mistrust. That mistrust had done

that came into my life had to first

RENTAL AGREEMENT.

a superwoman crossover mutant-

pass a series of mental tests to

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I-Female Magazine


The agreement had stipulations on my home

Lifetime Friendship and Partner in Love Agreement

(what you could bring and what you couldn’t), on my heart (the recommended time-

This agreement for Lifetime Friendship and Partner in

line), in my bed, and when the rent was due

Love purchased is made out as a binding commitment of

to me (which were subtle, insignificant things that made me feel special without obligations). I clearly let him know that I was my own woman. I’M INDEPENDENT. The “I want you, but I don’t need you” syndrome.

faith and happiness by and between ___________________and __________________. 1. Services: Beginning on___________ for Life will provide an abundance of loyal friendship and understanding, attached. 2. Payment and Terms: Both parties acknowledge that

A lot of us fall prey to this chain of thought.

the first 60+ years are absolutely free and voluntary.

Unfortunately, it is destructive. It will leave

Both further acknowledge that the contract includes

you alone and bitter. And once that rental

delivery, setup, endless nights of laughter, peaceful

agreement has expired, you are left picking

sleep, unbinding faithfulness in God and each other.

up the pieces of your heart, your mind, and still sitting in that beautiful home that is now just a tomb of past memories. My solution

Both have acknowledged that in the presence of “rough seas in life,” those rough seas DO NOT CHANGE THE DESTINATION. Both clients will be billed at 100% of the initial love for each successive

came in a new form.

passing day that they have here on earth together.

Yes, ladies, I still have a contract. But it’s

No credit card numbers or other forms of tangible

NOT a rental. It’s forever. Align your lives to

payment necessary.

find the one who is

not

looking to rent out

Matters of the heart and soul are nonrefundable and

space with you. Find the one who is willing to

due and payable on demand and will renew automati-

build a life with you from the foundation up.

cally. This agreement contains the entire agreement of

You don’t want a man who will accept an

the parties and may be added upon, but the baseline of

existing space. You and he should create your

space

to-

friendship, truth, loyalty, respect for one another, empathy, and love cannot be altered.

gether on a new foundation

that

WILL NOT expire with time.

Signatures: Signature_________________________ Printed Name______________________ Date______________________________

Now available on amazon.com

I-Female Magazine

Ebonie Bourda

18


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I-Female Magazine

20


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