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ANNIE’S MAILBOX
TROY TV-5
Don’t blame the waitress for husband’s flirtation
Today: 5 p.m.: Community Bulletin Board 6:30 p.m.: Talking Pictures 7:30 p.m.: Around Troy
Dear Annie: My husband and I are in our 60s and have been married for 28 years. We recently retired. My husband and I both enjoy stopping at neighborhood bars for a drink before dinner, but I've noticed that he indulges quite a lot and often starts at lunchtime. The problem is, after he has had a few glasses of wine, he begins to get a little forward with the female servers. He kisses the hand of the waitress, which I believe is his way of showing appreciation. I support his empathy for the hard work these young women do. However, in the latest episode, he grabbed a waitress's hand and held it for what seemed to be an unnecessarily long time. I thought the waitress should have withdrawn her hand, and I asked her what she was still doing there. I did not make a big fuss, but she withdrew her hand and left, visibly upset. I realize that I was rude, but it seemed like my husband was unaware of the consequences of his actions. Since then, I have avoided going back to that bar, but I don't know a permanent solution to this kind of embarrassment. Should I avoid going to a bar after my husband has had one too many? That means we cannot stay at a bar longer than 45 minutes, because he drinks quickly. He gets grumpy if I try to leave too soon, because he always thinks he is fine. It also means I have to cut short my own enjoyment. We have been lucky that we've avoided any incidents with law enforcement personnel. I need your counsel. — Uncertain and Afraid Dear Uncertain: Please don't blame the waitresses for your husband's inappropriate behavior. He is drinking too much to control his flirting and keep it within acceptable bounds. If he starts at lunch, it sounds as if he is developing a serious drinking problem. Don't be naive about it. Contact Al-Anon (al-anon.alateen.org) for more information. Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 30 years. My son (his stepson) is in his 40s and is married with two young sons. The problem is, my husband refuses to treat the grandchildren as his own. It is awkward when I spend time with them and my husband stays home. But it also makes my son feel terrible, and it breaks my heart. I've tried everything to get my husband to feel differently, but he won't budge. It's starting to affect our marriage, as we spend less time together with the family. I love my husband, but I'm not going to sacrifice my relationship with my son and his family. Any advice? — Sad Mom Dear Sad: We assume your husband helped raise your son. We are amazed and disappointed that he doesn't feel close enough to him to treat the grandchildren with more affection. Has your husband always been distant from your son? If it's a relatively new reaction, suggest that he get a thorough physical from his doctor. Behavioral changes can indicate medical problems. Otherwise, spend as much time with your son and his family as you wish. Do not make excuses for your husband. He is what he is, take it or leave it. Dear Annie: This is in response to "No Good Solution for this Arithmetic Problem," who asked how to divide the costs for a vacation rental between three families of differing sizes coming from different locations. I would divide half of the cost in thirds, and the other half would be divided according to the number attending. This is both a compromise and a reflection of the fact that part of the costs are per family and some of the costs are per person. — Simi Valley, Calif. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.
TV TONIGHT
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TROY TV-5 Saturday: 8 a.m.: Junior Motorsports 2:30 p.m.: To Serve and Protect 3 p.m.: Around Troy
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BRIDGE
SUDOKU PUZZLE
HOW TO PLAY: Complete the grid so that every row, column and 3x3 box contains every digit from 1 to 9 inclusively. Find answers to today’s puzzle in tomorrow’s Troy Daily News. YESTERDAY’S SOLUTION:
HINTS FROM HELOISE
Some ideas about avoiding spotted towels Dear Readers: In a recent column, a reader named Sylvia wrote about a problem she was having with her bath towels looking as if someone had spilled bleach on them. Well, you had a lot to say on the issue. Here are just a few comments: 1. “I found out that the culprit for my towel spotting was the new whitening toothpastes people are buying to whiten their teeth,” said Sally, via email. 2. “As a mother of three daughters, I believe at least one of the causes is any medication or face wash that contains benzoyl peroxide. It doesn’t show up until after the wash,” said Jean,
Hints from Heloise Columnist via email. 3. “Same thing happened to me with two sets. Turned out to be my wrinkle cream that I use at night,” said Jane, via email. 4. “I’ve had the same problem as Sylvia. I discovered that after washing whites with bleach, you always should rinse inside the tub while filling for the next
load. The next load should be light colors or delicates that aren’t affected by bleach,” said Helen from Nebraska. Absolutely yes to Nos. 1 and 2, maybe to No. 3, depending on the ingredients, and possibly to No. 4. — Heloise TRAVEL HINT Dear Heloise: A hint for runners who travel: I save the cardboard from folded dress shirts that I get from the dry cleaners. I put it under my running shoes when I put them back in my luggage. It keeps the dirt out of your luggage, and you can recycle the cardboard when you return home. — Roger B. in Houston
Also, you can use the plastic dry-cleaning bag that usually is hanging in the hotel closet. I use it for shoes, soiled clothes and even to hold fresh flowers I may bring home from a trip. — Heloise CAMERA COVERAGE Dear Heloise: I found an easy way to ID my camera without giving out too much personal information. The very first picture is of my business card, with my name and phone number clearly showing. If it gets lost and someone checks the photos, my contact information is right there. — David in Florida