Voices with nobody passing by and few signs that people had been here before us, that we might as well have been on the moon. Which is why when we turned another corner and saw what was in front of us, my jaw dropped and, quite literally, I had to catch my breath. Hundreds of cairns surrounded us. Hundreds. Balanced in rows on the ground, on fallen trees, on boulders, along the trail and further out into the woods, even delicately arranged in the branches of the trees above us. Like nothing I’ve ever seen. Just everywhere. I was paralyzed. It was one of the most magical things I’ve ever seen. A gift, it seemed, just for us, in the stillness and the privacy of these woods. As my eyes teared up, for the first time since January, I felt Kristin again. I mean I really felt her presence. It was overpowering. I realized if I was ever going to get a sign, it would be like this — one that demonstrated beauty, creativity and cleverness. It was Kristin, at her best. The rest of the hike was a blur. I was wiping my eyes for the last couple of miles, wondering if what we’d seen was real, and unable to shake the feeling I’d just been with Kristin. We made it
JENNIFER BENDERY
HUFFINGTON 01.12.14
out of the gorge and into town, and caught our rickety bus back to where we were staying. Soon, we were on a plane to D.C. and back at work, falling into our regular lives again. I never really told anyone about looking for Kristin over the last year. Death isn’t an easy subject to begin with. How do you casually mention you’re keeping an eye out for signs that your
I realized if I was ever going to get a sign, it would be like this — one that demonstrated beauty, creativity and cleverness. It was Kristin, at her best.” friend who died is doing great in the afterlife? But as the year winds down and everyone takes stock of what mattered and what didn’t, it’s that sprawling scene of little rock piles in the middle of nowhere — Kristin’s message delivered, and received — that mattered the most to me. Rest in peace, my friend. Jennifer Bendery is a politics reporter at The Huffington Post.