April 2021 Issue of HR Professionals Magazine

Page 14

Forget Work Life Balance: Find Your Sway By BRAD FEDERMAN

Stop trying to find work-life balance. It rarely exists. The scales will always become out of balance because the world never stands still. The world around you is always changing. New expectations, challenges, stressors and more are constantly around the next corner. Balance is fleeting. It is an outdated concept that should be left in the scrapyard. Even with all of the attention given to work-life balance, 65% of employees report that workplace stress has caused various difficulties in their lives. Work–life balance is known as the equilibrium between personal life and work life. Equilibrium is defined as a state of rest or balance due to the equal action of opposing forces. First and foremost, when have you experienced equal action of opposing forces when it comes to work and personal life? The success of work-life balance also rests on the idea that a portion, a good portion, of our work-life balance is within our control. Of course our actions, decisions and choices are within our control. However each of us has obligations and our choices do have consequences. We will always be faced with the impact of our choices. For some those consequences are reflected in a loss of employment, tattered relationships, divorces and more. We are all seduced by the concept of work-life balance. Who wouldn’t be? The idyllic notion that we can live in this comfortable steady place is alluring. Yet life does not work that way. Life is a bit like a rollercoaster. We experience twists, turns, ups and downs. We come across unexpected proverbial bumps in the road. Every time we encounter the unexpected, the uncertain, or the overwhelming; balance gets thrown out the door. The unfortunate consequence is that we have held up balance as ‘real’ and ‘attainable.’ We have placed balance on a pedestal and created frustrations and problems in the wake. We know the phrase “Life happens” and when it does, work-life balance can be in direct conflict.

No judgement The purpose of sway is to create ease and reduce stress. Getting angry, frustrated only wastes time and uses up mindshare. Children struggle with transitions and so do many adults. However, adults can’t afford to struggle with transitions. Adults must learn to be agile and not let their emotions get the best of them. Just sway and figure things out. Quality over quantity People often measure work-life balance in terms of time. Time is a low value measure. Sway is about quality as a measure. Am I present in the moment? Those that can focus and “Be here now” do better work, are more productive, and develop stronger relationships. Choice over balance While balance is not attainable, choices are within your control. Focus on what you can control. Balance is based on forces that are outside of your control and in many cases, your influence. However you can be creative, brainstorm and make decisions that reflect you and your priorities. Know your noble goal/purpose If you have identified your life’s purpose, managing decisions and choices is easier. For instance, my noble goal is “To inspire others to discover and live their possible.” I spend my time and energy doing things that support that purpose. When I lose sight of my purpose in my daily life I lose motivation and recognize that I need to return to my purpose. Mindfulness over stress

Another problematic glitch with work-life balance as a concept is that it starts with the notion that two aspects of our life are in conflict. The view that we live two separate lives is a misnomer. We do not live a work life and a personal life. We live one life with multiple aspects. Ironically we even oversimplify those aspects. I know very few people that can identify one single personal life aspect. Even within our personal lives we hold multiple proprieties and endure role conflict. In truth, our lives are much more complex and rich than we tend to describe with theories that oversimplify.

Finding ways to manage the challenging moments is paramount. Practice mindfulness and develop your emotional intelligence. People who are self-aware and maintain a sense of calm sway more productively than others. Learn to meditate in short spurts, have a playlist that helps you get through difficult moments, utilize a person as a coach, or find a way that works for you.

What are we to do?

Self-empathy is important. Do not judge yourself. Everyone struggles at times. You are not alone. So be kind to yourself. Provide yourself with a bit of grace. It is difficult to be there for others if you are unable to be there for yourself. Part of work-life sway is to sway to meet your own needs and not just the needs of your boss, organization, family and others.

We need to approach our difficulties with a new metaphor. I prefer the concept of work-life sway. Sway means move or cause to move slowly or rhythmically backward and forward or from side to side. It refers to the constant shifting based on the rhythm of life. Work-life sway is more like surfing or sailing. We can’t control the waves, wind or the weather, but we can learn to sail the ocean. Sailing uses the energy from the wind to propel the boat through the water. Sailing does not fight the wind. Sailing does not see conflict in the wind. Sailing sees the force as something that can be leveraged. Captains have been known to use a wet finger, wind in their face, a tuft of yarn or line, reading the sails, and reading the waves to determine how to approach the current situation. A skilled sailor does not see themselves as detached from the climate and the sea. They see themselves as a part of it, as interconnected. We should take the same approach when it comes to work-life sway. Read the situation First we should notice when we are swaying or need to sway. Read the situation and be intentional in your swaying efforts. What does the situation call for? It means being flexible. You may need to sway toward a work issue and recognize that you will sway back to the personal as soon as the issue is resolved. Recognize intention matters otherwise the waves of change will push you around and you will not make progress. Chance is not a strategy. 14

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Self-care

The concept of work-life sway recognizes that nothing lasts forever. Music has stayed with us over the generations, but the style has changed. Same with dance styles. Those that have remained relevant have changed with the times. Artists like Elton John and the Rolling Stones have stayed front and center when other acts have come and gone. The sway should be a tool that helps you shift and cope with the changes in your life. The sway helps you remain relevant, productive and successful in your whole life over the long haul. Find your sway and learn to sail the choppy seas.

Brad Federman, CEO

PerformancePoint LLC bfederman@performancepointllc.com www.performancepointllc.com


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Articles inside

Introducing the Next Innovation in App-Based Drug Screening

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page 47

SHRM 2021 Workplace Policy Virtual Conference April 19-21

1min
page 45

How Leaders Can Use Emotional Intelligence to Connect with all Employee Types

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page 46

SHRM’s Johnny C. Taylor, Jr. Named Professional Society CEO of the Year

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page 44

One Year In: The Pandemic’s Impact on Employers and Their New Normal

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pages 42-43

Advancing Women Leaders

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pages 38-39

Living Your Best Life Means Having Life Insurance

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page 35

Reaping the Triple Benefits of Ending Age Discrimination in Employment

5min
page 36

Working Boomer Advocate

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page 37

The New American Rescue Plan May Help Employers & Employees Reduce Health Care Costs

6min
pages 28-29

Obesity is a Critically Important Health Issue

5min
page 26

University of Memphis Center for Workplace Diversity and Inclusion

1min
page 32

The First 100 Days for Employers Under the Biden Administration

4min
page 34

Compliance Tips for Employers Considering a Move to Self-Funded Major Medical

5min
pages 24-25

Best of Leadership Summit 2021

1min
page 23

Is Your Background Screening Process Fair and Compliant? Take our Quiz

4min
page 22

Steps for Creating a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Strategy

3min
pages 20-21

Forget Work Life Balance: Find Your Sway

5min
pages 14-15

Guide to Benefits Administration: Integrating and Managing 3rd Party Solutions

5min
pages 10-11

Insights for Hiring Diversity

12min
pages 18-19

No Poach” Penalty: Criminal Charges from DOJ

6min
pages 16-17

State of the Art Compensation Management

3min
page 6

note from the editor

1min
page 4

Profile: Andy Wainwright, Chair of Tennessee SHRM Strategic Leadership Conference

2min
page 5
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April 2021 Issue of HR Professionals Magazine by Cynthia Thompson - Issuu