Verse of the Week

Living with children Is college worth the cost?

Hi Taylor - My son just started high school, and I’m beginning to have some doubts about college I’ve been saving and have a modest college fund for him, but I keep hearing a college education isn’t really worth the expense What do you think?

- Camila

Hey Camila - This is one of the more important questions for the next generation of parents 20 years ago, no one had to think about whether or not college was the right move Now, with exorbitant costs and a changing workforce, you can’t just assume paying a university tuition is the best option

Let’s discuss the pros and cons of higher education to see if that provides some clarity

Pros: The percentage of degree earners continues to rise, but that hasn’t changed the fact that college graduates typically earn more than people who only have a high school diploma More and more people are working freelance jobs and negotiating their own wages, and owning a four-year degree can be a great bargaining chip in that scenario It’s also still the case that most of the highest paying jobs require at least a bachelor’s degree, and many still want applicants who have earned a master’s or doctorate

Looking past the dollars and cents, college can be an invaluable experience for young adults If your son isn’t sure what he wants to do professionally, going into college without a declared major can open his eyes to fields and occupations he’s never heard of Most towns create a little bubble around their citizens, and attending college is a great way to broaden one’s scope

Cons: As I’m sure you’re aware, college tuition is astronomically high; public universities cost around $20,000 a year on average

Unfortunately, these ins need to make money in stay open, and that som becomes more of a prio the education being pro Students often spend $1 earning a degree and co feeling like they didn’t that much

Job market is another is degrees don’t address W can pay through the nose to get a BA from an amazing university, that doesn’t come with guaranteed employment I’ve seen people earn law degrees and pass the bar, only to struggle finding entry-level work at a firm Before deciding on a college program, it’s really important for high school graduates to have an idea of what employment opportunities might be available down the road

As you can see, I don’t have a clear answer as to whether or not you should send your son to college I feel everyone has a unique situation and people can thrive with or without a secondary education I would suggest you talk with your son about career paths, student loan debt and any other pressing matters If you’re honest with yourself and have faith in your decision, you can both make the best of it Thanks for writing in, Camila!

Taylor Kovar, CEO of Kovar Capital Read more about Taylor at GoFarWithKovar com

Disclaimer: Information presented is for educational purposes only and is not an offer or solicitation for the sale or purchase of any specific securities, investments, or investment strategies Investments involve risk and, unless otherwise stated, are not guaranteed Be sure to first consult with a qualified financial adviser and/or tax professional before implementing any strategy discussed herein To submit a question to be answered in this column, please send it via email to Question@GoFarWithKovar com, or via USPS to Taylor Kovar, 415 S 1st St, Suite 300, Lufkin, TX 75901

Q: A Christian (but very liberal) adoption agency recently turned down our application because they disapprove of our parenting approach, which is your parenting approach We told them we subscribe to your philosophy and do things like sending the kids to bed early due to whining and tantrums They said that was isolating and not good for any child, let alone adopted children They felt it was abusive for children with reactive attachment disorder Thoughts?

A: I’m not surprised Nor am I the least bit insulted The adoption industry in America has been taken over by people who adhere to the notion that nearly all adopted children – no matter the age of adoption – “have” something called reactive attachment disorder (RAD) which is characterized by difficulty establishing and maintaining healthy relationships There are certainly children who suffer the effects of early emotional starvation, but the idea that adoption and RAD go hand-in-hand is pure, unalloyed, unmitigated balderdash.

Furthermore, researchers have found that the negative effects of emotional deprivation during early childhood are not necessarily permanent In one study involving children adopted from horrifying institutional conditions in Romania (when it was still a communist dictatorship), the adopted children’s social behavior was indistinguishable from non-adopted children within several years (see The Myth of the First Three Years by John

Bruer)

A significant body of research has confirmed that proper discipline –including punitive consequences –are as essential as proper nurturing to proper emotional and social development I am not making a recommendation, but it is worth noting that two of the most objective researchers in the field of parenting outcomes have found that children who are occasionally spanked by loving parents are more well-adjusted than children whose parents never spank That is not an endorsement for spanking, mind you, but it does point out the disconnect between science and practice that often characterizes professional babble concerning child mental health

In 2012, I wrote a book titled Parent-Babble in which I exposed the lack of credible science behind many of the claims made by child mental health professionals It included chapters on self-esteembabble, punishment-babble, reward-babble, and yes, adoptionbabble Concerning the latter, I asserted that so-called “adoption specialists” were causing more problems than they were preventing and gave specific examples of their ubiquitous bad practice The adoption industry does not regard me well, to say the least. (By the way, I’ve since had several adoption specialists confirm that my perception of the toxicity in their field is spot on )

I’ve worked with a good number of adoptive parents My general finding has been that their biggest problems have been brought on by advice they’ve received from adoption specialists Many if not most of them came to me for help concerning behavior problems that stemmed, predictably, from a lack of proper discipline It didn’t take fifteen minutes to figure out that these parents were afraid of their adopted children, afraid that any hint of disapproval concerning their behavior would precipitate an emotional tailspin into perpetual, irretrievable RAD When they began following my disciplinary recommendations – the same recommendations, mind you, that I’d make concerning non-adopted children – the adopted kids quickly became much less problematic and obviously much happier, precisely what the best research predicts

Apparently, loving parents who set and enforce proper boundaries are the best of all possible therapists for adopted kids

Family psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond com, parentguru com

John Rosemond has worked with families, children, and parents since 1971 in the field of family psychology In 1971, John earned his masters in psychology from Western Illinois University and was elected to the Phi Kappa Phi National Honor Society