L I F E of
barbe
by Jana Cohen Barbe
F E AR is my friend I know fear. I understand fear. I have made friends with fear and it has become a part of me. I know what it feels like to get on a horse and believe you might die. I was once tossed so high in the air that I heard my husband shout “call 911” before I hit the ground. I’ve had multiple concussions, leaked spinal fluid, broken bones, torn muscles and ligaments, and shed more tears than I can remember. Once, as I lay in the dirt, my husband leaned over me and said, “if you say ‘it’s part of the sport,’ I’m leaving.” But it is part of the sport and inexplicably, riders always seem to get back on the horse, me included. For me, I guess I have just gotten used to the fear. It has become a part of me. And it is not just when I ride. In my role at Dentons, the largest law firm in the world, I have been called fearless; but I am no more fearless in the business world than I am in the riding ring. Indeed, there are days when the anxiety is so profound I can taste it, and I fear others will spot it and judge me accordingly. So how do we face and overcome fear in the riding arena or fear in the business world (or in life) and how do we find the courage to do what must be done? Here is what works for me:
48
·july/august
FAKE IT I believe deeply in faking it. Not the “I’ll have what she’s having” kind of faking it, but the “I don’t have a care in the world” kind of faking it. Smile. Paste that smile on your face, put your leg on (literally or figuratively) and go. If you have not seen Amy Cuddy’s TedTalk on YouTube, watch it. It is life altering. Truly. Assume your power pose and fake it until you believe it. I believe in the power of bravado. DANCE I have an energy playlist of songs that motivate me. They are songs that get my blood flowing and make me want to move. Music calms me and music inspires me. For some moments, I need Bruce Springsteen’s “Wrecking Ball” (I keep the lyrics on the bulletin board in my office) and for other moments I need Prince’s “Little Red Corvette.” But in all anxiety-ridden moments, music helps me. When I competed regularly, I had a horse show play list. It led off with Tom Petty’s “Won’t Back Down:You can stand me up at the gates of hell and I won’t back down.” That song pretty much summed up my show career - for everyone involved. It was hell but I didn’t back down and that meant more to me than any ribbon. DRAW ON THE CONFIDENCE OTHERS PLACE IN YOU I am blessed to work with individuals who believe in me and trust me. Their trust inspires me. I never want to let them down and I draw strength from that. It’s as though my loyalty to them beats back the fear. Great trainers will also do that for you. Their positivity and confidence somehow overpowers the fear. Draw on it. Believe in it. Their confidence in you is not misplaced.