feature | Sarah Jakes
Lost & Found:
Honesty and Humility Healed Her Wounds, Making Room for Inspiring Words by Sarah Jakes by j oa n n a l eflo r e
after a morning workout and a craving for chocolate chip cookies, we caught up with Sarah Jakes to get the scoop on being a daughter of the ministry, sacrificing a married life for a purpose-filled one, and achieving the persona of ‘supermom.’ She is no stranger to living life in the public’s eye having spent most of her years behind a pulpit or pew of The Potter’s House in Dallas, Texas, the ministry of her father Bishop T.D. Jakes. Admitting that she still seeks balance daily, Jakes shared her views on the importance of having a strong foundation despite living in the limelight. “Balance doesn’t come naturally. Sometimes the pain we receive teaches us how to find balance,” Jakes shares. “When we are at home, we have a very normal life. People think we are always walking around dressed up for service. People are not always open to our personal struggles.” For Jakes, balance conveys having the ability to recognize her flaws and remain transparent with the public. Her blog is proof of this, having reached a million hits in the first three months of launching. Jakes received so much positive feedback from people that she had no idea she was reaching. She often talks about being transparent in expressing her feelings, especially on stories about the break-up of a recent marriage to former Washington Redskins linebacker Robert Henson four years after jumping the broom. “I did not realize I was being transparent. I just thought I was telling my truth. I started blogging as a way to release my experiences,” Jakes contests. “It didn’t start as a marketing ploy. I think maybe people were looking for something real. It helped me see that others are going through the same things and that maybe we can all grow together.” 22 hope | Q2 2014
Her first memoir, Lost and Found: Finding Hope in the Detours of Life (April 2014), chronicles past experiences of being a P.K. (preacher’s kid) and pregnant at age 14. Jakes openly shares her feelings about how transparency offers more hope for healing than the church has shown her in the past. “In this generation, we are looking for a platform to share our true identities. Even in church, we are seeking more open experiences,” Jakes admits. “We should know how to responsively treat them with grace. We should learn how to be as real as the world we live in. We have to be open to evolving this tradition.” Jakes was not shy to mention that in the past, she was not always sure how to combat her personal truth, even in her relationships. She is constantly praying for discipline to trust God with the small steps in life and being able to recognize a need for personal growth. This was only possible with a closer relationship with God, she says. She also admits that her having a smart mouth has probably hurt people. Having faults haunt her from her past and dealing with guilt left her feeling helpless at times. “I thought that in order to have a relationship with God, I needed to have a life worthy of His grace. I rushed into life, trying to fix everything and live in a certain way. But now I don’t focus on the emotions; I search for God in everything. “It’s okay everywhere except for in the ministry to show that we are broken.” Jakes bluntly exposes the commonly unfair expectations she faced to live a perfect life, recalling the reality that a lot of hope is put into people instead of God. Jakes hopes that her book will help other women break free from their daily torments and seek humility during the healing process. Clarifying that she no longer does things for other people as she has in the past, Jakes is currently listening to other women work through their struggles. Despite her reluctance to work in ministry as her parents have, it’s no mistake that Jakes is currently heading the Women’s Ministry at The Potter’s House. She is sure that encouraging other young mothers to express their pain, meanwhile pushing for passion, is surely a part of her calling.