ng have to remember when you were that age and what was important to you.” Sometimes, parents need to do a little investigative work to find out what is going on in their child’s life. Asking your child directly about his or her actions or if he is being bullied might leave you on the receiving end of a blank stare or a quick change in topics. Instead, Jessica suggests asking your child to tell you about his classmates. “As a parent, you can sometimes find out where your child fits in to the classroom dynamic just by listening to him talk about everyone else,” she said. Just as important as finding out if your child is being bullied is your reaction to it. While anger is a normal response to have when someone is hurting your child, expressing that anger in front of your children is never a good idea. It can scare them from coming to you with future problems. Exploding in front of a teacher, school administrator or another parent will also not likely accomplish anything. ZTA alumna Evelyn Montecinos (Theta Delta Chapter, Salisbury University) is a mental health therapist for elementary and middle school children in Maryland and stresses the importance of letting the school monitor the situation and keeping the lines of communication open with your child and his school. Because most childhood bullying takes place in school, on the playground or on the bus, it is vital to have strong, working relationships with teachers and other school staff.
Feature Story
“What we tell the parents is that we see your child for eight hours a day,” Evelyn said. “It’s important for parents to be aware of what is going on and for them to share anything useful that could help.”
UPSTANDING AS A GROUP
Unfortunately, as we grow up, bullying also matures. If you’ve seen the movie “Mean Girls” you know the lengths to which young women can go to ostracize and alienate their peers. This is not to say boys can’t be just as vindictive and deliberate in their bullying, but as Zeta Tau Alphas, it’s important for us to understand how to stop the mean girl mentality so it doesn’t affect our sisterhood. At the high school and college levels, groupthink often takes over. In this psychological phenomenon, loyalty to a group and the desire for harmony within that group leads to poor decision-making and a lack of bystanders willing to correct the behavior. If any of these terms sound familiar, it’s because this same phenomenon occurs with hazing. In fact, the only major difference between bullying and hazing is in the intent. Both are intended to humiliate, but hazing is more about someone earning the right to belong, not tearing her down. “It’s important for our members to understand that hazing and bullying have the same effects,” Jessica said. “You’re talking depression, self-esteem issues, eating disorders, panic attacks and anxiety disorders. It’s always important to understand the true consequences of what you’re doing.” Winter 2013 · 21