z i n e nº 1
PA R T O N E by z sv n
When I was 26, my feet started to hurt so badly, I couldn’t walk without wincing.
But the x-rays didn’t show anything out of the ordinary.
I began Operation Granny Chic: I got custom insoles with a student discount from my physical therapist and started wearing compression socks and ugly-cool sneakers.
my it was in w o N . e r whe RIs, going any ’t n s -rays, M a x w e h IN T A . ” P g sprainin “normal. BUT THE t s p a e k w I y h d ic h y bo ankles, w old me m t ll a y e h nds... t ultrasou
I gave up a lot - cute platforms, running, long nights out dancing to Robyn. That’s when I decided to take up swimming.
Swimming became my happy place, the only place I felt (mostly) pain-free, centered,
weightless, and truly myself...
Meanwhile, new symptoms cropped up and managing them felt like a game of whack-a-mole. My doctor ordered loads of bloodwork, and the results were
On paper, I was perfectly healthy. The doctors chalked up my symptoms to severe but “high functioning” anxiety. The symptoms were psychosomatic, they told me. In other words, the chronic pain was all in my head.
e. But judging from the By 30, I’d figured out how to manag ssed I was 80. contents of my bag you’d have gue
Therapy was the only off ice where I felt heard, validated, seen, taken seriously.
Funnily enough, it was my therapist who eventually f igured out what was going on and that, no, it wasn’t psychosomatic. But more on that later.
The pandemic had hit, and I moved to France with my dog, Buckets, so I could do my Ph.D. research.
As soon as we settled in, I found a pool a 5-minute walk from my apartment.
Alas, it was closed* because of, you guessed it, COVID-19.
As I walked away, defeated, a kind man popped outside to tell me about le f i ne print.
Thus began my journey with this cursed app.
This nearby doctor had mixed reviews.
Deciding to give her the benef i t of the doubt, I scheduled an appointment.
in French, that I tried explaining,
SWIMMING
nic at helps the chro th g in th y nl o e is th pool without a e th se u t n’ ca I pain but doctor’s note--
It quickly became clear that the one-star review was correct. she was a despicable person.
CAN SAY E N O Y N A T U B K O ONIC PAIN.” THEY HAVE “CHR WHAT IS THE
DIAGNOSIS ?!
I... I’M NOT SURE . I NEVER GOT A REAL DIAGNOS IS. IT’S MY JOINTS. I THINK IT’S LIKE ARTHRITIS?
T H R IT IS ? R A IS T A H W G N O S IS . IA D A T O N T H A T ’S PROBLEM? E H T IS T A WH
WHY ARE YOU C
RYING?
IT’S... UM... MY ANXIETY....
IN I SEE... THE PAIN ES YOU YOUR FEET MAK FEEL ANXIOUS.
W A N X IE T H A T ’S N O T H O
WELL, WITHOUT A DIAGNOSIS I HAVE NO REASON TO SAY YOU “NEED” TO SWIM. HERE’S A PRESCRIPTION FOR AN X-RAY AND A BILL FOR 30 EUROS. E. BONNE JOURNE
T Y W O R K S .. .
BUCKETS, CAN WE PLZ CUDDLE?
TEER P A T IE N T S T O S R E H T O T N A W I MY M A Y B E IT W A S T U B . R E H F O CLEAR B E .. .. FAULT OR MAY . ZZ ZZ zz zz ZZ ... .
HIGH FUNCTIONING issue nº1 a slow zine created by emily friedman and zsofi valyi-nagy designed by zsofi valyi-nagy 2023