Paha 2013

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me and I hated him for it. The doors took their sweet time to open. I darted down the hall. I didn’t know where I was going. I’d never been on this floor. I spotted a nurse. “Where can I find room 308?” “Keep heading down this hall and take a right. The room will be halfway down on your left.” I didn’t bother to thank her. I took off again. I passed 320… 318… 316 and 314… 312 and 310, and finally, I made it. The doctor met me at the door, preventing me from going in. I peered through the window, trying to see around the curtain. I could tell that the doctor was trying to establish eye contact. Annoyed by his calmness, I looked him in the eye. “Let me in, I need—” “Believe me when I say we did everything we could,” he interrupted, putting his hand on my arm. In that moment, time came to a screeching halt. What did he say? “What do you mean?” I asked, refusing to jump to conclusions. I shrugged his hand off of my arms and took a step back. “What are you saying?” “She’s gone.” I wanted to see her, but not like this. I wasn’t ready for this. The doctor directed me to a small waiting room just a few doors down where I could shut myself in and attempt to gain some sort of composure. Its shadowy walls were unfriendly—sinister—and it was dark and cold. I lay curled up on the loveseat for what seemed like an eternity as my thoughts raced. I wanted to tell her that I loved her. I imagined her eating the spaghetti that was at home cooling on the stove, and I remember thinking that was what we should be doing But somehow we ended up here… I ended up here. I felt so alone, and the only person who could fix it was gone. I had no one to comfort me. That’s when Frank

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