D A I LY D O S E BY KAMIA SCIPIO
SHUTTERSTOCK
LOVE IN THE TIME OF HIV
HOW SHE KEPT LOVE GOING, EVEN AFTER LEARNING THE HARD WAY (WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT) THAT HER BOYFRIEND WAS HIV-POSITIVE.
I WAS 2 3 Y E A R S O L D when I found out. We met when I was 22 and he was 29. He didn’t look his age so I didn’t mind the seven-year age difference. We fell in love quickly, and he fell in love with my son, who was 3 at the time. That was huge. Our motivations, aspirations, and dreams bounced off of each other like a racquetball. I was in love. I was already four months along when I found out I was pregnant. Ironically, that gave us more goals and aspirations: to get married and buy a home so the kids could have their own backyard and rooms to themselves—something I didn’t always have growing up. We shared so many secrets during late night conversations; deep dark secrets from the past that let us laugh and cry and hold each other even tighter. Our living was meager: we often went from one cheap motel room to another. Just days after my son’s 4th birthday, I started to feel very anxious and scared because I couldn’t feel my baby moving. We rushed down to the doctor, but everything was fine. One night I had a dream (it felt more like a premonition) where I got to meet my partner’s mother. She was a beautiful Black angel with wings so wide. She smiled and placed her hands on my stomach. It was like a healing touch, but I didn’t really get the significance of the dream yet. I understood that my baby was a loving gift from God, since my partner was once told he couldn’t have kids. By the time I had my follow-up a week later, everything was falling into place. I have a rare blood disorder—Thrombotic Thrombocytopenic Purpura or TTP—that doctors discovered when I was 16. I still freak out HIVPLUSMAG.COM
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