Voices

We offer Voices as a place to share a story, a memory, an idea, a comment, a criticism, or a solution. Contributors must include name, address & phone number.

Your Mental Health

By Chase Cotton The Willow Center 317-852-3690

Three Things You Can Do to Help a Struggling Loved One

We’ve all gotten that text before… “Hey, I really need to talk to someone right now.” Then, your heart beat speeds up a bit as your mind races in anticipation of whatever your loved one needs to talk about.

It could be your friend asking you for advice on a problem they’re having with their significant other. It could be your kid finally opening up about their feelings of anxiety or depression. It could be your colleague sharing with you that they feel like they are drinking too much and it might be affecting their work.

It’s safe to say, statistically speaking, that most of you reading this article are not licensed therapists or counselors of some sort. So, if you’re anything like me, these types of conversations can be rather stressful on the receiving end. What do you say to your loved one? How can you truly be more of a help to them than a harm?

Here are three easy things you can do to help your loved one who is struggling:

1) Be Present – The most important element of showing your loved one that you are present with them is true physical presence! If possible, don’t have the conversation only over the phone or via text. Put the phones away and get into each other’s real-life space, face-to-face. Meet at a coffee shop or have dinner together at one or the other’s home. Human beings are hard-wired to need physical community and relationship, so being present with your loved one will help them feel more open and calm on a brain-deep level.

2) Listen – To be clear, I mean really listen. Listening is more than just hearing. “Active listening” includes appropriate eye contact, open body language, affirmations, follow-up questions or comments, and even silence. Remember, you are not a counselor, and you are also not in your loved one’s head. So, you do NOT have to have all of the answers! The feeling of being listened to can be healing for someone who is in a heightened emotional state.

3) Refer – This may be the most important recommendation of all. As we have established multiple times now, you should not pretend to be a therapist. If your loved one is sharing things related to their mental health, a relational crisis, an addiction, or some other life difficulty, it is vital that you refer them to trustworthy professional help. There are multiple mental health and addiction care providers in Hendricks County who are ready to help in these situations. Your referral to your loved one may be the key to removing the shame and stigma that they may have associated with the need for professional assistance.

The next time you receive that text, don’t just deflect it. Don’t crack a joke or try to change the subject because you don’t know what the right answer is. Instead, just be present with your loved one, listen to them share about their problem, and refer them to a higher level of care if needed. These three suggestions are tried and true ways of helping your struggling loved one!

Barnett Woods: Discover a Pocket of Nature

Exploring Hendricks County

By Jackie Horn

Jackie Horn and her husband, John, transplanted from Warsaw to Plainfield to be near family. An Advanced Indiana Master Naturalist, Jackie is a retired substitute teacher who continues to teach (and learn) about all things outdoors. John is a retired CNC programmer and the photographer on the team. The Horns enjoy traveling, walking, hiking, kayaking, and bicycling.

A sign welcomes visitors to Burnett Woods Nature Preserve. The Preserve has been owned and managed by the Central Indiana Land Trust since 1998.

During the pandemic lockdown, one of the first places John and I discovered near our apartment in Avon was Burnett Woods.

Driving along on CR 100 South between Dan Jones and Ronald Reagan, motorists probably don’t realize this nature preserve exists. There’s no visible signage or dedicated parking lot (the church adjacent to the property allows visitors to park in their lot.) What appears to be undeveloped woods is actually a lovely bit of nature just waiting to be explored.

Burnett Woods is the only property managed by the Central Indiana Land Trust in Hendricks County. It’s also one of the five preserves on their Trek Our Trails Challenge. (For more information on the Challenge, check out their website, conservingindiana.org/2020/11/24)

The 80-acre woods aoffers two marked, loop hiking trails totaling 1.7 miles. The terrain is flat making the walk easy for small children and “seasoned” citizens.

Two trails are marked - the Blue Trail is 0.5 miles; the Red Trail is 1.2 miles.

In the spring, wildflowers abound. Trillium, May apples, and False Solomon Seal were just a few when I was last there.

In the summer, the woods offer a shady retreat from the heat. Autumn brings color to the woods as oak, hickory, and maple trees change from green to red, orange, and yellow.

On chilly winter days, Burnett Woods is an easyto-reach place to get out and tromp.

A few things to consider if you visit Burnett Woods: The most challenging thing about hiking the woods is getting there. Roadwork on CR 100 started earlier this year and continues. In order to access the preserve, visitors need to navigate through the Hollow Brook housing addition and drive a few feet on the dirt construction road to reach the Avon Light and Life Church parking lot. Parking is available behind the church. Walk east across the grass field to the edge of the woods fronting the road. A path leads into the preserve. A few yards into the woods, a sign confirms you’ve got the right spot.

If it’s been rainy, consider boots. The ground is low and a small creek runs through the property which can make the going soggy. The standing water also serves as a breeding ground for mosquitoes. Bug spray may be something to consider.

In the interest of honest reporting, Burnett Woods is not a secluded woodland paradise where the silence is broken only by birdsong. It backs up to the rail yard. Sounds of screeching wheels penetrate the borders of the preserve. It is a pocket of nature in the midst of an urban area and that makes it special.

Burnett Woods Nature Preserve is adjacent to Light and LIfe Methodist Church, 8264 E CR 100 S and is open dawn to dusk. Visitors to Burnett Woods are allowed to park in church parking lot. Due to the parking situation, it is requested there be no visitation on Sunday mornings.

A Note From Bee

We often hear about children bullying other children. In grade school I and five or six of my friends were never bullied but we were never invited to the popular girls parties or homes. I think the reasons for this was none of us were athletic so we didn’t play kickball. Kickball was very popular at our school. Also one of the girls was intellectually slow. My parents were friends with her parents and I had been told to be sure Karen was involved in my group’s activities. We accepted the situation. It was either accept or be unhappy.

Carol was very popular and lived only three houses from school. For her birthday, everybody but my group was invited to have lunch at her house. Invitations were given out at school. Gifts were brought to school. The invited left at lunch time and the principal allowed them extra recess time since it was Carol’s birthday. It may have been that Carol’s mother didn’t know that Carol hadn’t invited all the girls in our class. However the teacher had to notice that our group wasn’t invited and told Carol’s mother. I think this was a very cruel thing to do to our group.

The lesson I learned was not to deliberately hurt anyone’s feelings.

Bee Jones

A Squirrel About Town

By Archy

“I understand you’re picking up more subscriptions every week,” Archy commented.

I replied that we were growing in that direction. “People seem to be discovering us. They pick up a paper at a relative’s or friend’s house and want to get their own subscription.”

It’s no wonder,” the squirrel said. “People seldom have the opportunity to read something thoughtful these days. The things people post on social media are half-thoughts at the most, in a fast-moving stream of confusion. Nothing to make you stop and consider what’s being said.”

I was in agreement. “A good newspaper is a community talking to itself,” I said, paraphrasing Arthur Miller.

“Precisely,” the squirrel nodded. “Funny, how a newspaper can sometimes capture the reader’s attention better than modern technology.”

I thought about the time I spend reading the issues of The Republican from the past. After a while, you see each year had its own personality, its own tone and sense of humor. The more you read, the more you feel at home in that era - the familiar names, the slang, the fads and novelties.

“A bit of time traveling,” Archy said, reading my thoughts. “What you’re doing now is what those editors of the past did - making observations for those in the future.”

It’s a bit unsettling to realize your part in the continuum.

The squirrel winked. “Be sure to tell them Archy sends his regards.”

Lamb’s Ear - A Soft & Fuzzy for Your Garden

Lamb’s-ear used in a border with sedum autumn joy.

Here is huge surprise for all you Lamb’s-ear growers - You have the medical kit that soldiers of long ago carried.

Lamb’s-ear was used to sop up blood, pack a wound to stop bleeding and as a dressing. One of its folk names is “bandage plant.” Lamb’s-ear is antibacterial, anti-inflammatory and has analgesic properties. Off the grid folks use it to band-aid over cuts and scrapes. You can try it on bee or wasp stings to reduce swelling. I heard it makes a great toilet paper--- that would have been good to know last year!

This charming plant seems like a blend between plant and animal with it’s soft fuzzy leaves. Your grandchildren will love to pull off a leaf and caress it like a comforting “blankey.”

Lamb’s-ears Stachys sps originated Turkey, Iran and Armenia. We grow the plant as an ornamental plant in the garden. But you can also harvest the leaves before the flowers appear, dry them - steep in boiling water for a mild tea.

Leaves may be eaten raw or steamed as greens. A sample of a raw leaf didn’t taste bad, but fuzzy in my salad - I don’t think so.

Lamb’s-ear is a low growing, spreading perennial plant with pale, silvery gray-green foliage, it can spread to cover a large area. Leaves are oval and pointed with soft felt, like a lamb’s ear. In late spring-early summer they send up a blooming spike with tiny mauve flowers that the bumblebees and honeybees love.

Cut the stalk to use in fresh arrangements or dry in vase as an everlasting. Lamb’s-ear are part of the mint family with square stems, but spreading is very slow, unlike culinary mint. Picking off flowering stems will encourage the plants to spread.

This tough plant will tolerate poor soil, drought, and black walnut. It loves sun, will grow in light shade, but it must have good drainage. One of best no-care plants in the garden.

Deer and rabbits don’t like the fuzzy texture of lamb’sear and stay away from this plant.

Lamb’s-ear is lovely in the garden with its lavender flowers and silvery green leaves. Plant it near summer annuals, with roses or iris. Lamb’s-ear makes a wonderful flower border.

Do lambs get static cling when they rub against each other?”

Got Questions? Call The Home-Landscaping-Garden Help Line and Master Gardeners will answer your questions every Tuesday. May 18 to Sept 28. Hours 9:00-Noon and 1-4:00pm call 317-745-9260 (Hendricks County Extension)

MASTERING THE HOUSE

useful tips for homeowners

Tim Paino

Owner/Inspector Heartland HouseMaster

Painting – Best Techniques

Every job goes easier if you have the right tools. Painting is no different. Nothing is more important when painting than a good paint brush. They come all sizes and shapes. Matching the brush with the job is very important.

If you have a large open space to paint, a large, 4-inch straight-bristled brush, which holds more paint, may be just the tool.

Trimming around tight areas, a smaller tapered brush is called for.

If you’re painting with a water base paint, a synthetic bristle is best. Oil-based paints do better with a natural-bristle brush.

Don’t be afraid to do your research and ask the professional at the paint store when in doubt. The right, good quality, brush will make the job go much faster and easier.

Here are a few tips for brush painting that will make you look like a pro:

1. Only dip your brush into the bucket about two inches. You never want to have the paint run down into the ferrule (that metal ring that holds the bristles in place). If you are painting with a water base paint it is even a good thing to fill your brush with water before starting. Even after drying the tip of the brush to start painting, the moisture at the top of the brush will help keep the paint from running back to the ferrule.

2. Work out of a bucket with only 2 or 3 inches of paint in it. First, it will be lighter to carry while working. It also gives you room inside the bucket to slap your brush against to remove excess paint. I recommend a small bucket with a side handle made for carrying. Some even come with a magnet on the side that holds your brush when not in use.

3. Lay your paint down moving away from the area most recently painted. Then smooth it back out going back the other direction. This will lessen the brush marks. End with feathering out the edge of the brushed section so you don’t get a ridge when you return to do your roller work or spraying.

Keeping a clean brush is always extremely important. A good quality brush can last you for decades if properly maintained. Even during a long painting task, it may be beneficial to pause and clean your brush every two or three hours, especially on a hot summer day. With water-based paint, work the bristles with your fingers allowing a warm stream of water to move the paint away from the ferrule down to the tip of the brush. A mild detergent can be used if desired, but there shouldn’t be a need to use a wire brush. Once cleaned, place the handle between your hands with he bristles facing down and twirl the brush spinning out the excess water. Blot it dry with a cloth and then return it to the keeper it was wrapped in when purchased. If you didn’t save it, us a paper grocery bag paper to wrap the bristles in, fold the top and tape it closed. This will help maintain the shape of the bristles for the next painting job.

Grab that ladder and get started!

Our Readers Write

I made a serious error in my article last week.

I said “It took an angry and arrogant man killing a defenseless Black man for governmental representatives across this country to start instituting new laws which finally allow police departments to remove bad cops and be able to report a bad cop’s abusive patterns so they don’t hop from one department to another.”

What I should have said is that “it took yet another angry and arrogant man in power killing yet another defenseless Black man…” because it’s been happening for hundreds of years. George Floyd was killed at a time when the whole world was watching. The world was on lock down due to Covid. Derek Chauvin had all of America’s attention if not most of the world’s attention. We were not running to ballgames and concerts and dinners out with friends and family or charitable events and business events and any other kind of events, and we weren’t even attending church and millions were not going to work or at least physically going to a work place. We were not hurried and harried for the first time in decades and That. Finally. Got. People’s. Attention. Including mine, I am sorry to say.

I have always hated racism. I could never understand it. I don’t understand it. I don’t understand the arrogance of someone believing they are inherently “better” or more worthy than another human being, particularly based on race or religion (I take exception to the narcissists who create their own religion and abuse their followers) or sexual orientation. But I am white, and although I despise racism, I have mostly lived my life in a largely White community and removed from the daily or weekly or even regular expressions of racism. And so I made a foolish statement last week. I apologize.

I read Just Mercy a few years ago, and it profoundly affected me. I knew racism existed. I knew defenseless Black men were being killed by bad cops but the facts in this book shocked me.

The book centers on two Black men who were arrested and charged and convicted of murders in Alabama in the 1980s that the police chiefs knew were innocent. Two men sat on death row for decades until a brilliant Black, Harvard educated attorney named Bryan Stevenson decided to devote his career to overturning wrongful death row convictions. No one can not like Bryan Stevenson. He is incredibly kind hearted and soft spoken and intelligent and somehow, incredibly, he doesn’t sound angry or bitter in the slightest. This man is a hero of mine. He is truly a modern-day prophet. He is personally bringing this country to a better understanding, a desperately needed progression of how America views criminal justice. Thank you, Bryan.

Indiana recently enacted legislation to address many concerns police departments regularly encounter, including “wandering officers” or what the average person calls a “bad cop”, which was introduced by State Representative Greg Steuerwald, an attorney who understands the criminal justice system and able to collaborate with police organizations to develop practical solutions. Thank you, Greg. Indiana is leading the country with this new legislation.

And thank you, Republican readers, for being willing to read this apology.

I’ll end with the words of another hero and recent prophet, Martin Luther King, Jr.

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality”.

Amy Comer Elliott Danville

I’m Not Sorry

Upon opening Facebook, there was this picture of a frazzled man with a long, unkept beard sitting in the median of a shopping center playing a guitar and panning for handouts.

The picture was interesting, so I read the post and thereby broke a rule of mine, don’t read the posts in Facebook.

The person posting wanted to know if there were any laws against panhandling in Avon. As of that moment there were about a hundred comments and every comment was about how bad it looks for Avon or how he was lazy. Every single comment.

“There are jobs everywhere, he just doesn’t want to work,” said many. “It looks so bad for Avon,” said many.

“Maybe he is a veteran with PTSD or someone with mental health issues or maybe a drug addiction he can’t kick,” was said by not one person. Not one.

The man was sitting in sweltering heat, breathing in car exhaust and most likely being called all kinds of names by those driving by in air-conditioned cars and eating quarter pounders. For anyone to think that this man wants to be in that situation, maybe they should try doing it for a day.

But because of those comments, I helped someone in need last night. Leaving the Avon Plan Commission meeting, I and two other people were confronted by a man in distress that was obviously intellectually disabled. He was pleading for assistance, was not threatening in any manner, and claiming that people were making fun of him and calling him names.

This was not the same man in the Facebook post but because of those comments, I felt strongly compelled to help him. So, I did. And I am not sorry. Honestly, after helping him, I felt great.

Jerry Vornhold Danville

Scholarships For Musicians

The Hendricks Symphony is pleased to announce this season’s Scholarship Program. Scholarships of up to $500 will be available for high school students and up to $1,000 for college students who are studying privately and play in the Hendricks Symphony Orchestra or sing in the Hendricks Symphony Chorus.

Scholarships will be offered based upon a combination of the orchestra/ chorus needs and the student’s ability. Please check the rules and fill out the application form which can be found at hendrickssym-phony.org/scholarship-pro- gram. For further information please contact by email or phone: Maestro Benjamin Del Vecchio (317) 272-0452, or Jamie Varvel (317) 413-3852.

Volunteer for Meals on Wheels

Meals on Wheels delivers a nutritious, hot meal to homebound residents of Hendricks County.

Meals are delivered by a team of more than 120 volunteers. In addition to providing nutritious meals the organization provides a wellness check, complimentary pet food and human connection.

If you are interested in volunteering you can visit their website, HCMealson- Wheels.org, the site lists all volunteer needs and will give you the steps to get started. For as little as two hours a month Meals on Wheels volunteers can make a huge difference.

If you would like more information about becoming a client or volunteer, you can visit their website or call Renee Harlor at 317- 745-3469.

MRV’s Need Volunteers

Navy Veteran Charles Dodson founded 1st MVR’s (aka First Military, Veterans & First Responders) to honor the Amerianmilitary, its vets, and first responders including police/sheriff and fire departments, ambulance crews, and nurses.

1st MVR’s also bring awareness to post traumatic stress disorder and its treatment. Through our Bridgebuilder Division, we supports community relations with our police and sheriff departments. Our base is Brownsburg & Plainfield, all of Hendricks County.

Volunteers are needed! If you can help, please contact Charles Dodson at 317- 625-1158.

Listen to HSO Online

The Hendricks Symphony Orchestra is offering new and encore performance on their website, www.HendricksSymphony. org. Click on “Media” then on “Recordings.”

New listening options will be added from time to time, so check back often!

Donations toward thes HSO’s 2020-2021 season may be made by visiting the “Donate” page on the website.