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Opinion
The Daily Dispatch
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The Idiot’s Guide to Art Appreciation
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Sunday, September 13, 2009
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Editorial Board: James Edwards, Publisher Glenn Craven, Editor
jedwards@hendersondispatch.com gcraven@hendersondispatch.com
Don Dulin, News Editor ddulin@hendersondispatch.com
304 S. Chestnut St./P.O. Box 908 Henderson, N.C. 27536 PHONE: 436-2700/FAX: 430-0125
Daily Meditation Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins. In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod i] for the back of him that is void of understanding. Proverbs 10:12-13
Our Opinion
The Easleys’ latest embarrassment Just in case federal authorities who are investigating former Gov. Mike Easley don’t have enough leads to go on, The News & Observer of Raleigh is keeping the pedal to the metal in its superb investigative reporting on the ex-chief exec’s litany of alleged and potential offenses. On Friday, the N&O reported that Mike Easley and his wife Mary received a price break of $137,000 on a prime waterfront building lot in a coastal subdivision in Carteret County. The apparently unprecedented discount came shortly after state government granted environmental permits making the development possible. Easley didn’t report the discount from R.A. North Development on state ethics disclosure forms. And the attorney in the property transfer — who happens to be the mayor of Beaufort — listed not the discounted price of the lot, but the full price of $549,880, on the deed as registered with Carteret County. That likely helped the Easley’s get a loan on the property from BB&T for $494,000 even though the couple paid only $412,410 for the land and made a total of $54,988 in downpayment and earnest money on the lot. Thus, the Easleys walked away from closing with both the building lot and a cool $135,000 in cash. Such a transaction would not be unprecedented in property transfers. William S. Bost III, a Raleigh real estate attorey and expert on mortgage industry ethics, told the N&O that sometimes real estate clients want the full asking price of the property listed on the deed rather than the discounted price they paid, in order to pump up both the perceived value of the land on behalf of its new owner (who might someday want to sell it) and, for the benefit of developers, to avoid reducing the perceived value of neighboring lots. For example, while the Easleys were paying $412,410 for their lot, neighboring lots that were narrower but deeper sold for $699,000 each. It’s anything but certain that the Easleys committed a crime in this case. But it’s certain they got a sweetheart deal on a valuable piece of land — and a deal from a development company run in part by Easley donors and by men whom Easley appointed to the state Wildlife Resources Commission and state Board of Transportation. From the posh, trumped-up job at N.C. State University for Mary Easley (from which she’s since been fired), to free private flights, to suspicious deals on vehicles, and now a sweet bargain on beach property, the Easleys obviously knew how to maximize the value of their political connections for personal gain. It will be interesting to see whether there’s a price to pay for these actions. And whether the N&O will uncover any more evidence against the Easleys.
Quotable “It’s different than just seeing numbers on a paper, when you actually see the flags. It’s a visual impact of those lives.” — Nikki Marlette, on the nearly 3,000 small American flags on display on the Ohio Statehouse lawn, representing those killed on 9/11. “The theft of Warhol’s ‘Athlete Series’ represents a profoundly personal loss to me and my family.” — Los Angeles businessman Richard Weisman, on the unique series of Andy Warhol pieces — portraits of Muhammad Ali, Jack Nicklaus, Pele, Dorothy Hamill and other athletic superstars — that was stolen from his home.
This column was originally published Jan. 18, 2004. Whenever I write about art, I get mail from the Serious Art Community informing me that I am a clueless idiot. So let me begin by stipulating that I am a clueless idiot. This is probably why I was unable to appreciate a work of art I viewed recently, titled: “Chair.” I saw “Chair” at Art Basel, a big art show held recently on Miami Beach. It attracted thousands of Serious Art People, who wear mostly black outfits and can maintain serious expressions no matter what work of art they are viewing. This is hard, because a lot of Serious Art consists of bizarre or startlingly unattractive objects, or “performances,” wherein artists do something Conceptual, such as squirt Cheez Whiz into an orifice that has not been approved by the Food and Drug Administration for snack toppings. But no matter what the art is, a Serious Art Person will view it with the somber expression of a radiologist examining X-rays of a tumor. Whereas an amateur will eventually give himself away by laughing; or saying “Huh?”; or (this is the most embarrassing) asking an art-gal-
lery person: “Is this wastebasket a piece of art? Or can I put my gum wrapper in it?” But back to Art Basel: I didn’t go to the main show. I went to an officially sanctioned satellite show called “Art Positions,” which was a group of large, Dave walk-in shipping Barry containers Tribune Media set up on the Services beach, serving as mini art galleries. Serious Art People drifted blackly from container to container, solemnly examining the tumors. I managed not to say anything stupid until I encountered a slide projector sitting on the floor, projecting a rectangle of white light with twitching lens dust onto the wall. I asked the gallery person if there was supposed to be a slide in the projector; he patiently explained that, no, this was a work of art titled “Autofocus Slide Projector Dust.” In another container there was a work of art consisting of
The Health Care Debate in Cartoons
a video, repeated over and over, showing a man — not in peak physical condition, I might add — rollerblading around a vast empty space, stark naked. I’m proud to say I betrayed no emotion while viewing this work, although my daughter, who is 3, said, quite loudly: “You can see his tushy! Yuck!” She is young, and has no art training. Anyway, in the corner of one container there was a ratty old collapsed armchair — worn, dirty, leaking stuffing, possibly housing active vermin colonies. I asked the gallery person if the chair was art, and she said yes, it was a work titled “Chair.” I asked her what role the artist had played in creating “Chair.” She said: “He found it.” “Chair” is for sale. The price is $2,800. Really. I looked up “Chair” on a Serious Art Internet site, artcritical.com, which said: “The chair offers not a weedy patina of desuetude but an apotheosis of its former occupant.” See, I missed that altogether, about the desuetude and the apotheosis. I thought it was just a crappy old junk chair some guy took off a trash pile and was now trying to sell for 2,800 clams. I was also baffled by an
artwork called “Moonwalk,” presented by a Paris art gallery. You walked into the gallery/ container, and it was empty, just blank white walls. Around the ceiling were a half-dozen speakers making a high-pitched sonar sound, like this: “boop.” That was the art: “boop.” Sitting outside on a folding chair was a gallery person, smoking Marlboros. I wondered what it would be like to fly all the way from Paris to Miami, only to spend four days sitting outside an empty shipping container going “boop.” I would go insane. I would have an apotheosis of freaking desuetude. In another container, there was a work that consisted of a hole drilled in the floor, and some weeds stuck in it. I believe the price on that was $6,000. While I was examining it, I heard one Serious Art Person say to another (I swear): “Wouldn’t that be wonderful in the foyer?” I want to state, for the record, that there was also some very nice-looking art on display. And I want to repeat that I am a clueless idiot. So you Serious Art People don’t need to write letters reminding me. I agree that you know MUCH more about art than I do, OK? So YOU buy the chair.